Everyone has heard of the 'your life flashes before your eyes when you die' situation but not many people know the reason for it.
When something goes wrong your brain can usually deal with it by using past experiences to deal with things.
For example, falling over. Your brain knows that if you don't stop yourself, you will get hurt; this has been learned when you were very small and fell over without stopping yourself. This goes on instantly in your brain without you realizing all throughout your life.
That's why kids are always hurting themselves a lot when falling over whereas adults can usually sort themselves out, your brain learns how to deal with certain situations
Now when you're dying, your brain knows something is very wrong but your brain has never died before it doesn't know what to do, it can't find anything instantly
So it frantically searches through your memories for similar experiences in an act to try and save you but it can't find one.
Hence, it keeps searching and searching until your very last breath.
Haerin had always find living to be exhausting. It's an uncomfortable feeling that she can't seem to shake. Lately, she can't wake up comfortably nor smile.
She knows how sad she is, and how unwilling she is to get better. The familiarity of pain and sadness are the only thing she find comfort in, it's the only thing that is constant.
Haerin wasn't scared of dying but now that she can feel her time is near, she couldn't help but feel good and bad at the same time.
The girl can barely talk nor eat the past few days. Some days she sleeps for more than she was awake. It was hard for Hyein to look in her eyes and tell her she's getting more sick day by day.
The night from hell began without slumber. Hyein couldn't sleep, the news brought by Haerin's Dr. made her panic, he said there's no time and Haerin might be living her last hours in this world.
As she sits at the edge of the girl's bed, she couldn't stop the tears fall. She didn't make a single sound, and that must be the most painful cries to hear. The one where you tried so hard to stifle that it's making it hard to breathe
"Why are you crying?" Haerin sat up
Now for once, Hyein was startled. Haerin could barely talk nor move, so how did she?
She looked at her, "I miss you,"
There was a small smile drawing over Haerin's mouth, "I'm here,"
Hyein observed her face. "No, you're not. Your eyes lost the sparks," you're taken away long ago.
Haerin stretched her hand which Hyein slowly took, "Can you bring me banana milk? I'm suddenly craving for those," She chuckled
Hyein wiped her tears and laughed, "You're still so unpredictable, fine!"
The girl stood up, that's when Haerin heart dropped. She felt terribly sad, she can feel her time coming to an end and she didn't know how she'll say goodbye to the only person who took care of her
Before Hyein completely disappeared from her sight, "Hyein," She called
Hyein turn back, "Yeah?"
"You're the best, you know that, right?"
Hyein jokingly flipped her hair, "I know, I'll pretend you said that not because I'm getting you a banana milk,"
The door closed. Haerin was alone once again. We are all aware of death, she knows it will come and she's been waiting for it.
We are all condemned to death. No one knows when exactly the inevitable will approach but it is inescapable.
Hyein's smile turned into a frown soon as she left the room, she's not ignorant, she knows what Haerin meant, she knows this is the latter's way of saying goodbye
With heavy steps, she felt numb walking away from the hospital room, she went to the vending machine and stood there for awhile, her mind went through every corner of her brain where she stored the memories they had together, her fingers froze at the button, what was she going to get again?
She didn't know, so, she sat down and hugged herself, she cried. There's a certain level of tiredness that equates to insanity; for Hyein it's when she'd like to temporarily dislocate her spirit from her body, as if to ask God to take her out for just a short while, let her souls go to wherever souls go.
She's a fairly brave person, she is, but sometimes she just don't wanna feel this enormous and excruciating pain that she's been bagging for a long time now. She's so worn out.
Hyein cried as if her brain was being shredded from the inside. Emotional pain flowed out of her every pore. From her mouth came a cry so raw that even the eyes of the strangers around her were suddenly wet with tears. It was more than crying. It was the kind of desolate sobbinb that comes from a person drained of all hope
It was only in the stillness of the late evening that Haerin could hear Hyein's lament. She covered her face with her hands and shed tears as quiet as she can.
Haerin stared at the ceiling blankly, then came a defeaning silence. Hyein's wails suddenly disappeared like it's been cut out.
The door of her room opened, she didn't bother to peer on them for she was too tired. Her brain keep asking her to rest, find somewhere warm and cozy, and stay there.
"Right on time,"
Haerin's breath hitched. All of her strength came back in an instant and she strung up.
Eventhough the lights were dim, she recognized that silhouette througly. Even the voice is very distinct, it's impossible for it to be mistaken for someone else's
Her eyes brimmed with tears as the figure approach and sat beside her. The distance was so close, and the moon shone brightly at the person's face.
"Kai," She called softly.
He put his hood down, and with Haerin's shaking hands, she cupped his face just to confirm that she's not dreaming. She then engulfed him with a tight hug.
And hope arise for the second time
"Is.. is she with you?" She slowly moved away
There was something different with Kai. Haerin couldn't pinpoint if it's because of the way he looks or if it's because of his glassy eyes... they were lifeless, glazed and emotionless.
"I killed him."
Haerin's heart skipped a beat, "W—What?"
"He was the cause of this madness." He continues, not breaking the eye contact, "What he did caused a loop, and in order to put an end to it, I had to kill him..."
"Kai.. what are you talking about?"
"There are an infinite numbers of universes co-existing with ours on parallel dimensional planes. Now in each of these alternate universes the reality is different than our own. Sometimes only slightly, sometimes quite radically,"
"Kai.. what are you saying?"
"I'm saying is. I came from one of those universes,"
Haerin released a heavy breath, "You're not Kai,"
There was silence. Kai turns away. "I am different from him. I do not need to explain myself,"
"You killed him..." She paused, and then reality hits her, "Y—You killed her," Haerin gasped, "You killed Danielle! You killed my friends! You did this?!"
She stood up but got out of balance immediately, her strength disappeared, "Why? Why did you do this to us?"
"I didn't do this to you, He did this to you." Kai coldly muttered, "He knew the consequences yet he acted oblivious and proceeded to complicate things because of this stupid thing he call 'love'"
He leveled his face on Haerin as the girl huffs for breath, "I had to do that, I had to so you can do it again for the third time," He brushed her chin
Haerin fell on the cold floor. This time. It's really over.
"You look so much like him. Kang will kill me if he's seeing this right now," He whispered with a melancholic smile
Haerin went frail. Her breath had become short just as her energy drained out of her soul. Darkness descended on her vision and as her senses slowly vanished, she heard something for the last time.
"Remember Haerin, the past doesn't just influences the future, the future also influences the past for it is the end that is the beginning, so, fight for it 'cause there will no longer be an error this time around,"
HAERIN POV
"Kang Haerin!" A deep voice roared from across the cafeteria
I jolted from my seat. I wake as if it's an emergency, as if sleeping had become a dangerous thing. My heart beats fast and there was a buzzing noise in my brain.
My eyes hurt from the sunlight beaming at the end of the cafeteria, my head hurts as well. God, it felt like forever, how long was I asleep?
"Haerin, didn't you hear me? I just called your name,"
I rolled my eyes as I massaged the bridge of my nose, can't she be more annoying than this?
I turned around, ready to lash out on her but as soon as I did, I immediately frozed
"What? Cat got your tounge? I'm not gonna let you study until next week," She whispered cheekily
"Dani I told you to knock it off, let's go home." Minji came out of nowhere and pulled Danielle by her bag
"Hey! Let's go eat some cheeseburger, do you have time?"
Hyein...
"Wassup you guys?" Hanni jumped on her back, "You!" She pointed at Danielle while glaring, "Leave Haerin alone!"
"Oh.. Haerin," Danielle called me softly, "Why are you crying?"
I cupped my face. It's wet. "Why am I crying?" I whispered to myself
"This is your fault! Stop bothering Haerin," Hanni yelled
"I told her that plenty of times already what made you think she will listen to you?" asked Minji
I heard Hanni scoff beside me, "I wasn't talking to you, let's go Haerin,"
She pulled me by the wrist, Hyein was tailing us but I couldn't strip my eyes off of Danielle.
There's familiarity, and eventhough my tears can't stop falling right now I feel happy.
"Hey, are you okay?" Hyein worriedly inquires as she caresses my hand
I smiled, "Yeah, I think my dream affected me,"
"Are you sure it's not because of that demon there?" Hanni whispered, "Just tell me if she bothers you again, I'll jump her for you."
Without even knowing, I hugged the two of them. I feel so sentimental right now.
"You're squeezing me," Hyein whispered
"What was the dream about? You're acting strange," Hanni giggled
I tried to think. What was it about again? I don't know but I'm glad it's just a dream. A nightmare.
"Aren't we going to invite Kai?" I asked
They both looked at me cluelessly.
"Kai?" Hyein tilted her head as if she's thinking
Hanni scrunched her nose, "Who's that?"
I paused for a bit. Right, I don't even know why that came out of my mouth.
But somehow, I felt the recognition as I said the name. Or maybe it just slipped out of my mouth without thinking. Where have I even read or heard this name?
"It's the first time I heard that name,"
"I know right,"
"But it's a beautiful name, I'm not gonna lie."
"Yeah," I mumbled, "It is,"
~end~
a/n:
i feel like the epilouge is quite lame, i didn't actually had this ending in mind. this ending wasn't the original but i feel like i've scarred u guys enough so yeah, i hope u liked it even just by a bit. thank u so much for the wonderful comment and feedbacks, i read it all. i guess i will see u guys on my next story, thank u again and sorry for the lame ass ending lmaooo, pls stream txt's cb the album is a no skip.
thank you <3