I groan as my eyes flicker open, wincing at the bright, artificial lighting. My chest still hurts, as does my head, but now the pain has become numbing. Another groan leaves me as I sit up in the infirmary bed. I'm confused for a moment about how I got here, but then my eyes land on Raj who stands leaning against the wall opposite my bed. His arms are crossed over his chest and he stares at me in the most serial killer way. Maybe not, it's just that it wouldn't surprise me if he was a serial killer.
"Ugh, you're not someone I want to see when I wake up," I mumble to which he rolls his eyes.
"Yeah, well, if it wasn't for me you'd still be lying face first on the floor," Raj snaps back. I scoff wanting to retort back about how he did this to me, but I stop myself. It's unfair to put the blame on him for this, even if I do hate him. It was the demon.
"My hero," I say sarcastically.
My eyes drop to my chest to see four punctures where Raj's fingers had been. The blood has been cleaned up so I can see clearly what happened and I feel my heart stutter. That asshole demon tried to take my heart. I look up to Raj who continues to watch me.
"Shouldn't this be covered?" I ask gesturing to the wounds.
He shrugs and says, "they're not as deep as they were before. They probably don't need it." I keep my eyes on him for a moment, but I soon nod. He has a point, they don't look too bad nor do they look deep.
"So, is there a reason that you're staring at me like a vulture? Or were you just that worried about me?"
"Don't flatter yourself. Aldertree wanted to speak with you as soon as you woke," he says. My mind stills and a small flicker of hope tugs at my heart. If Aldertree is back, does that mean Jace is too? I shove the covers back and swing my legs off the bed. My feet touch the floor and I stand, though the instant I do I feel my head spin. Raj moves to me, his hand finding my elbow to keep me upright. I shouldn't have moved so quickly.
"No time like the present, hey?" I mutter taking my arm out of his grip.
"Maybe, but there's no need to rush. Aldertree will still be there waiting for you," Raj says. I shoot him a quizzical look.
"Sounds like you are in fact worried about me," I tease. Raj glares at me.
"I'm not worried, it's just-" he sighs shifting uncomfortably on his feet. "It's not every day that you try to shove your hand into someone's chest."
I have never heard Raj sound guilty before and it's making me feel really uncomfortable. I'm used to his douchebag attitude and him believing that he's God's gift to the world. Yet here he is feeling remorse, and to me of all people. This must really be killing him.
"Raj, you didn't attack me. It was the demon," I tell him as I grab his arm, guiding him out of the infirmary with me. Surprisingly, he lets me pull him out of the room without any resistance. Though he soon shrugs my hand away as he reaches my side, the two of us walking towards Aldertree's office together.
"Maybe, but I let the demon in. If I hadn't of let it in then you wouldn't have been hurt," he replies.
"You didn't let the demon in. You might be an ass, but I know you wouldn't do that. It was out of your control, you couldn't have stopped the demon and you couldn't have stopped it from-" I stop midsentence as we turn a corner, bumping straight into Alec, Izzy and Jace. My eyes widen as I stare at them. Both boys are holding Izzy up and all three of them hold pained expressions, though all are pained for different reasons. I can tell by the way each of them hold themselves.
"Izzy, what- are you okay?" I ask taking a step towards my Parabatai.
"I'm okay, are you? Did the demon go after you, too?" She asks.
"Yeah, I was just telling Raj that he shouldn't be upset because he had no control, and that it was the demon-" I start, stopping only when Raj shoves my back to force me forward.
"Enough, get moving," Raj says, his voice gruff.
"And here I thought the tin man gained a heart," I huff.
"Shut the hell up," he sighs pushing me along. He forces me to walk and I feel myself grow anxious about being away from them. My Parabatai is hurt and Jace is there. I want to be with them, I need to be.
"Wait, hang on, I want to stay here," I say as I try to move back to my family, but Raj grips my elbow and ushers me along again.
"Aldertree is waiting." He tugs me away and I look back to my family over my shoulder feeling suddenly frantic.
"Wait, just- Jace, are you okay?" I shout to him. I never hear the answer as Raj drags me around the corner and into the ops centre. The noise of Shadowhunter's talking drown out any response Jace might have given and I curse them all with the most colourful choice of words in my mind.
"You're an utter arse. You couldn't even give me a minute to speak with them?" I say in anger. He shrugs, finally letting me go so that I can walk myself.
"Not when you decide to chat crap about me being upset," he says defensively. I raise a brow to him as we walk out of the ops centre and into the corridor to Aldertree's office.
"But you were upset."
Raj glares at me but says nothing as we continue walking, and it isn't long before we reach Aldertree's office door. He knocks and instantly we are being summoned in. Aldertree sits behind his desk, palms pressed together, elbows on the desk and fingers against his lips. He doesn't move when he sees us, he just lowers his eyes to the chair opposite, telling me to take a seat. So I do just that.
"How are you feeling?" Aldertree asks, his head nodding to my chest. An unnecessary action if you ask me.
"Fine. Raj said you needed to speak with me."
"Yes." He clears his throat. "After listening to Raj's report and assessing you these past days, I have decided that you are in fact suitable for service. And so I shall be reinstating you as a working Shadowhunter."
"Thank you for finally seeing that I'm not working for a psychopath," I mutter sarcastically. His reasons are bull and I know it. He dangled that sword over Jace's head and got proof that I'm not compromised.
"Watch it, Maelys. For all I care, you are still Valentine's daughter. You might be off the bench, but I will always be keeping a close eye."
"What? I'm not allowed to feel pissed that after everything I've done for the Clave and for this Institute, you still had the audacity to label me compromised and threaten my runes." I scoff.
Aldertree's brow raises, yet he doesn't move as he says, "not when it was your very suggestion to have your runes removed."
"How else were you going to take me seriously or even consider me a Shadowhunter? You did not care about whether or not I proved myself and you weren't going to even give me the option. You got Raj to keep me to my room and stop me from interacting with my Parabatai. You wouldn't have made any changes if I hadn't suggested my runes."
"That was a lot of assumptions," Aldertree muses. He leans back in his chair, removing his elbows from the desk but keeping his fingers pressed against his lips. His eyes flicker to Raj and he nods to him. "You may leave us."
I don't turn to watch Raj leave, rather I keep a firm glare stuck to the man in front of me. I don't know why I'm saying all of this, but I can't help myself. Maybe all of the pent up anger is finally breaking free. Though I am sure this is only going to bite me in the ass.
The door clicks shut and Aldertree finally lowers his hands from his face. Now that his hands are out of the way I can see the exhaustion in his features, and it's then I really acknowledge the deep purple circles under his eyes. It's bizarre seeing him like this when he is usually so finely put together. Something must have happened for him to have been brought to this state.
"Maelys, I understand why you think it, but I'm not the bad guy," Aldertree sighs.
"No, that's Jace, right?" I retort.
"What do you want me to do, Maelys? Jace has returned to the Institute, if you haven't already noticed, and you're no longer listed as compromised," he huffs in frustration.
"I want you to apologise, preferably in front of the rest of the Institute. You know, seeing as, thanks to you, they all now believe Jace and I to be Valentine's lackeys."
Aldertree frowns in response and shakes his head. "They will see the reports of the two of you being deemed one of us and they won't bring those unfortunate comments up again."
"You're kidding? They're not going to stop giving me glares in the corridors and they're not going to stop speaking about us. You can't stop that so I want an apology."
Aldertree purses his lips and I can see his frustration grow in front of me. I don't think I'm asking for anything unreasonable. He destroyed our reputation, he has to speak for that. I watch his jaw tick and he glances to the door. "Raj!"
Instantly the door opens and Raj stumbles into the room. He catches himself quickly, acting as if he hasn't just had his ear pressed against the door for the past five minutes.
"Yes?" he asks.
Aldertree looks back to me and he debates his next move. Though, he lets out a sigh and returns his attention to Raj. "Go and get Jace."
Raj leaves and Aldertree and I sit in silence as we wait. But we're not left in silence for long before he returns with Jace in tow. I look towards the door to see Jace moving over to me. He puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes, a concerned expression on his face which he soon moves towards Aldertree.
"What's this about?" Jace asks, his hand not leaving my shoulder.
"Raj, you can leave, please," Aldertree all but grunts. His frustration must really be getting to him right now.
"Again? You sure you don't want me to get one of the others because I'm not just going to keep coming in and out," Raj huffs. Aldertree doesn't humour him with a response, he just sends a glare his way until he backs out of the room, closing the door behind him.
"Can you explain why we're here now?" Jace says. I can imagine the frown that's on his face, the annoyed frown he sports more often than not.
"It was... made clear to me that..." Aldertree sighs. My eyes widen as I look at Aldertree and I straighten in my seat. He's not actually about to apologise to us. Is he? Though his difficulty to get out a sentence makes me think that he might. This man is truly unpredictable. "Maybe you should take a seat," he says to Jace.
"Yeah, maybe you should," I say with a smirk tugging on my lips. "I think Aldertree's about to knock your socks off."
"Maelys, you are pushing your luck," he warns me giving me the deadliest glare he can muster. But his exhaustion really makes his attempt look feeble.
"Right, sorry. Proceed."
Jace drags a chair from the corner of the room and sets it next to mine. He slides into it and gives me a look. Like Aldertree, he looks exhausted. Mentally and emotionally drained. Just seeing it set so deeply in his face makes my heart tighten in pain.
Aldertree clears his throat and tries again. "It was made clear to me that because of my response to past situations, people believe the two of you have an affinity with Valentine. And while I can clear your names and put facts right, I understand that gossip and opinions won't be altered so easily. And for that, I am sorry."
Jace blinks, looks to me. Blinks again, turns back to Aldertree. "You're kidding?"
"Damn, I never thought I'd hear you say those words," I breathe, a small smile tugging on my lips.
Aldertree grunts and rolls his eyes, irritation evident on his face. "It's not a big deal."
"I don't understand. You're apologising for giving me crap earlier?" Jace says slowly, trying to sort through his thoughts.
"You want me to apologise for being angry that you let Valentine take the Soul Sword? Because of you, he has two Mortal Instruments," Aldertree seethes.
"Wait, he has the Soul Sword?" I gasp. But it goes ignored.
"I saved your life. So yeah, an apology would be nice," Jace snaps and crosses his arms over his chest.
"You both need to understand something," Aldertree hisses as he sits up and leans towards us. "While it's been proven that the two of you are not in allegiance with Valentine, it does not mean that you can walk in here and make demands. I'm apologising for my doings tarnishing your names, but that is all. Do not push your luck."
"Well... thanks. We had a nice apology and now you have gone and ruined it," I say with a frown. "Try again." Jace turns his head to me and gives me a pointed look, one that tells me to shut up. But I won't.
"What did I just say about pushing your luck?"
"From how I see it, you wrongfully accused the two of us of treason and for the greatest criminal our century has seen no less. If anything, you're pushing your luck. Treating your two best Shadowhunters like low-life criminals. So, I think an apology, a nice apology, is required."
Aldertree's eye twitches in anger and I swear the vein on his forehead is about to burst. "I'm sorry. Now get the hell out of my office!" he growls in anger.
"We appreciate it," Jace says with a nod before grabbing my arm and yanking me out of Aldertree's office. I let out a breath at the sudden movement but I let him force me out of the room.
It feels so strange having Jace tug me along. It feels so strange just having him beside me and touching me after everything. It feels so surreal yet it feels normal. As if we hadn't just spent the past two weeks apart. As if so much crap hadn't exploded up the walls of our lives in those weeks. The only thing that keeps me from remembering that crap is the looks and stares we get as we pass idle Shadowhunters in the hall. Stupid assholes.
I hadn't realised that Jace was guiding me anywhere until we walk into his room. It's a mess, though I can't blame him for it. He was last in this room the night of Alec's wedding. Shudder. And you can tell by the different shirts scattered over his floor and bed that he struggled to dress himself that night. Not that he was the only one.
"Shit, sorry," Jace curses when he catches me staring at his clothes. He rushes past me, scooping the shirts up and chucking them into random drawers.
"Did these shirts not make your eyes sparkle the way you want-" I start, but I get cut off by Jace throwing his arms around me. Once again he is forcing the air from my lungs but I only stay still for a second before wrapping my arms around his body. He buries his head into my shoulder, one arm around my shoulder, the other hand on the back of my head.
"Mae, God, I-" He pulls back and when he does I see how red his eyes are from the tears he's holding back. He takes his hands off me and rubs his face. "So much happened these past weeks, so much." He sinks onto his bed and I feel my shoulders sink with him. I don't like seeing him like this, in so much pain. It hurts me just as much.
I walk towards him slowly and sit cross-legged on the floor in front of his feet. "What happened?" I ask quietly. He puts his head in his hands, elbows on his knees.
"He took me to this ship and he just kept messing with my mind. I couldn't see what was real and what was just him. And then Clary appears and she gets me out, and then I had wolves hunting me down trying to kill me," he starts to explain.
"I fucking hate wolves," I ground out, my hands forming fists in my lap.
"They thought I killed one of theirs, but it was Valentine. Though me telling them that didn't stop them from trying to kill me. If it wasn't for Izzy, I'm sure they would have had my blood."
"And I would've had theirs."
"After I got to Alec, Raj appeared and he took me to a cell in the City of Bones. Then Aldertree appears and dangles that stupid sword over my head." Jace shakes his head and he moves his eyes to meet mine. "He asked me questions about you."
"I thought he would," I mutter.
"Valentine told me that I have demon blood. I thought it was some kind of manipulation tactic until Aldertree asked me if you had demon blood, too." He pauses. "Do we really?"
"Apparently so," I say before pursing my lips. "Did Valentine tell you anything else about you... or me... or anything?" The last thing I want to admit to him now is that we're only half siblings. And I think that it's the last thing he wants to hear.
"Well, he said he wanted us to stand either side of him while he rules the Shadow world. But I'm guessing that's not what you're thinking about."
I don't say anything and my eyes lower from him as I try to think about how to say what I need to say. Though my thoughts get interrupted by Jace kicking my knee to get my attention. He doesn't say a word, yet his gentle look is enough to encourage me.
"Jocelyn is," I sigh and shake my head. "She isn't my mum. You're not my twin."
Jace sinks off the bed so that he is on the floor in front of me. "I'm not?"
"No. She told me that you're hers and I'm not. Valentine apparently wanted two babies to experiment on."
"This whole thing is fucked up," Jace breathes. "Are you his?" I growl at his question and send him a death glare.
"He's not my-" I start, but he cuts me off.
"I get that, Mae! I do, but... biologically? We're still related, right?" he asks.
"Yes. We are biologically related."
"At least we're still brother and sister. We're still blood. Even if it's demon blood."
I lift my eyes to him and I take in his serious expression. It doesn't match the words that left his mouth, and this whole situation just doesn't seem to match his serious expression. A laugh bubbles through me, one which I try and fail to hold back. The noise comes out as snort which has Jace's brow rising. I burst out laughing and after a moment Jace's laughter fills the room.
I'm not sure how long we laugh together, but when my head begins to hurt I manage to control myself. We both have been told we have demon blood, yet here we are laughing about it. It all seems to ridiculous that I don't think either one could help it. However, we do sober up and release a sigh as we return to silence.
"Do you know if Izzy will be okay?" I ask after a moment in the silence.
"I don't think she's who we should be worrying about," Jace says grimly. I furrow my brows as my eyes scan his body, searching for any injuries.
"What happened?" I ask. Jace purses his lips as he hesitates, thinking about how to say what he needs to. Though with each second he hesitates, the more I begin to overthink.
"The demon possessed Alec," Jace says and I feel my blood freeze.
"The demon used Alec to hurt Izzy?" I mumble and Jace shakes his head.
"No, it-" he pauses. "The demon killed Jocelyn."
My heart stops and my eyes drop to the floor. Raj felt guilty about what happened to me so I can't imagine the guilt Alec must be feeling right now. Just thinking about it makes my chest hurt as my heart tightens. That was why I thought he looked in pain earlier; it was his guilt clawing away inside him. My eyes burn from the tears that threaten to fall for him.
"Where is he now?" I ask, swallowing the lump in my throat.
"I don't know," Jace murmurs, and I know that he can feel Alec's guilt. "We dropped Iz in the Infirmary, and after the medic came he left."
I blink, taking in Jace's words, and then I look up. I puff out a breath before standing, offering Jace a hand to help him up.
"We should go and find him," I say, to which Jace nods in response.
"Come on, sister."