Dear Crush

Chapter 33

25th October 2014
Dear Diary,
After two days of taking rest at home, I went to school today. To say my feet weren't moving forward towards his classroom would be an understatement. I had thought about this decision all day and night. I had consoled my heart several times. Made up my mind with difficulty.
I couldn't back out.
I went towards his classroom during break. As always I knew he wouldn't be at canteen but at classroom eating his food.
The last time I went like this to meet him was during junior high to return his jacket after which he wrote a note apologising and thanking me. That was the first time I saw his bright smile, the contagious smile as I liked to call it. That was how everything started. But this time I'm going to meet him...to end everything...
I looked around. Thankfully only he was present there eating his food quietly. As I approached him from behind with slow and shaky steps, he heard the sound and turned back to me. His eyes widen seeing me attend school today. He may not have expected me here considering I was absent for so many days. He stood up as he walked closer. His hazel brown eyes looking at me in anticipation that I'd say something.
It was time...
I took a deep breath before saying...
"I'm sorry. Sorry, for not listening to you and dragging you down with me. You can't attend basketball practices and upcoming tournament, all because of that incident, because you came to save me.
I think we should quit here. Whatever relation we have now, we should end it. I don't want to be a hinderance to your dreams and you don't have to face consequences due to me in the future. Let's end this...forever."
I said it, I finally did after thinking about it several times over these days. I had imagined all kinds of reactions he'd give...anger, acceptance, disappointment, denial, everything. But he didn't show any of it. He was silent, purely silent.
After a moment of silence between us, he spoke...
"Do you really want to end everything?"
No, ofcourse not. But I had to for your sake so you wouldn't have to face troubles because of me and for my own sake too so that I could move on from you in my life.
"We didn't have anything left anyway. We had already stopped talking with eachother after our fight. Ending it officially...wouldn't hurt."
It would, it really would! It would hurt like a bitch. But it's necessary now.
I saw him clenching his fist and exhaling his breath before continuing..
"If that's what you want...then fine. Let's end everything between us."
If there wasn't any thunder sounds in the background, I was surely hearing it in my mind. 'End'...a bittersweet word. End seems sweet after a stressful event like exams. It seems bitter after an unforgettable and precious event...like our friendship.
That was it. That was how it was supposed to be. That was our end...of everything...forever...
Love
Your Owner