A/N: I'm sure you are sick of hearing it, but I really am sorry this update took so long. Between learning to rebalance my days, sleeping in late, an illness I can't seem to shake, and other creative ideas floating in my head I've been having issues keeping on track. I've created a new discipline set for myself, that I am hoping I'll be able to follow.
The next update date will be the 10th of February, 4 days before my birthday, and I don't know if I will be ahead enough to do a double posting or not. It will be a shorter chapter, and I hate that I can't promise the normal double posting when it is a double chapter. Perhaps I might surprise myself. Perhaps I will have one of those creative spurt moments where I can't seem to stop writing.
If you are not reading Legion of Dionysus as well then this paragraph can be disregarded. My plan is to post a new chapter next Friday. However, I am one chapter behind where I thought I was, and I need to reread previous chapters to get back in the groove of how the story was flowing. I'm hoping to get that chapter written this weekend, even though I don't like to write over the weekends usually.
Posted 1/27/23
2698 words
It almost feels automatic to hand Lily a bottle of water and a couple of Tylenol. My hand finds a place at the center of her back as she seems to once again grow unsteady on her feet. The warmth of her body seeps through my hand, and I have to choose to focus on something else so I don't become otherwise distracted. She pops the pills in her mouth, and I watch her throat work as it coaxes the water down. I hope she won't end up with a hangover tomorrow. I can't help but worry, but I attempt to alleviate that worry with my next thought. The medicine and water will more than likely prevent that.
Gamon was immediately at her side after she took the medicine. He lifts her up in a princess carry once more, and I can't control the instantaneous envy as I watch her arms automatically reach up and wrap around his neck. Hell, I'm also a tad annoyed that I didn't even think of lifting her up in my arms myself. Perhaps that partially had to do with how soft my physique is compared to Gamon's solidly built and sculpted frame. I wouldn't be surprised if I subconsciously chose to wait to draw her close due to that fact alone. I turn toward the living room to watch as the others all do their part to get her comfortable in her makeshift bed and let my mind wander over the events of the night.
I find myself frowning when I consider how everything unfolded tonight. I can't help but feel a little guilty for my part in the games. It might have been Minsookie that suggested the soju, however I was right there alongside him practically salivating at the idea of drinking. It grew to be pretty obvious that before tonight she hadn't really drank very much. I can't be for certain, but she seemed to grow tipsy after the second or third shot.
Despite my regrets I automatically turn away toward the kitchen and pull out a bottle of beer from the fridge. Then I head back toward the living room as I take a long draw from the bottle. I don't bother containing the moan as the taste lingers on my tongue. Then I glance down at the bottle in my hand and frown. Hmm. Perhaps I shouldn't hide from my depressing thoughts inside of a liquor bottle. It's an addictive crutch behavior that I shouldn't make a habit of. I know I wouldn't be in this position had we not played those games tonight.
The topics that came up had me discussing things I didn't really want to share with Lily right away, and I tried not to dwell on too often. My lack of sexual experience, and the fact that I was the unwanted and mediocrely talented twin were the two major points of contention. Those two drawbacks alone had both concern scratching away at my brain as well as an influx of somewhat oppressive thoughts.
Of course I wanted her to know of my lack of sexual history; I just didn't want it to come out like. I wanted to be able to take her on a date first, or to at least have some private one on one time together. I wanted to let her know that, while I hadn't necessarily planned on remaining a virgin, ultimately I was happy with the way things turned out in the end. I was delighted by the realization that I had unintentionally waited for my first time to be with her. It didn't even matter to me if I ended up being her first or not. In fact, I think I would prefer it if she ended up with one of the experienced members first. They would make sure to take care of her, and would probably consider things that I more than likely wouldn't think of myself.
I really hated to admit to her that in regards to our shared careers as Idols that originally I was the unwanted twin. The one that started this chapter of my life because I was simply following my younger brother to his dreams when originally I barely had any of my own.
If it hadn't been for his suggestion to go to that cattle call I wouldn't be here today. Which of course makes me wonder if I hadn't followed him if Lily would still have been my soulmate also. If I had turned out to be some nobody instead would she have still wanted me? Judging from her personality I would like to say yes, but that wasn't the only question floating around in my brain. I also worried whether or not our souls would still end up matching each other. After all, having a different destiny would have made me a different person. I shake my head. It doesn't matter because I was chosen, and I am over the moon that our souls bonded to each other. So, stop thinking negatively about things that don't matter.
In the end, it was due to my 'perfect Asian Beauty' that the company was convinced to give me a shot, despite my second-rate talent level. I don't think they expected for my brother and I to end up in the same group, but during our training period they realized that Juah and I harmonized really well together. Not just vocally, but in vibe and spirit as well. We were two sides of the same coin, and that added a lot of appeal.
I take a deep breath before I look toward the living room once more. The others set her up in a makeshift bed on the floor, and I shake my head while chuckling mentally as Jiseongie and Jaeyeonie surround her on either side. Sure, I find it humorous, but I'm also impressed by their enthusiasm and desire to be beside her. I could blame my missed opportunity to take place as one of the two lying beside her on the fact that I got lost in my thoughts, but honestly it was more due to my lack of courage to make the move and cuddle with her so soon. Sucks, because I love to cuddle. I guess I am going to be hugging my pillows again tonight.
I take another pull from my beer. The corners of my lips turn downward when I realize how fast I emptied it. I'm almost tempted to get another before heading to bed, but that doesn't seem like a smart idea. I pluck the bottle of Tylenol from the cabinet once more and pour out a couple of tablets before putting it back. Then I grab a water bottle for myself from the pantry.
After taking the medicine I wander over to where Lily slumbers, and, despite my nerves, I lean down to press a soft kiss on her temple. I give my twin and Jiseong a warning look, letting them know without words that they better behave themselves. Afterward, I turn on my heel and head to my own room to get some sleep.
I'm really not sure what my new obsession is with carrying Lily around. I just reacted automatically when she looked like a baby deer that was learning to stand for the first time. Once I had her in my arms I didn't really want to let her go, but that wasn't a feasible reaction when the reason she stood up in the first place was because she had to go to the bathroom.
When I lifted her in my arms the second time I realized that I had another reason for doing so. It was my physical reassurance to her that despite the fact that I probably wouldn't get the chance to see her as often during the next couple of weeks, that I would still be here for her in every way I could. It was all a subconscious sort of thing, and I wasn't completely thrilled with myself for reacting in that capacity. I would rather simply tell her outright that I was here for her in any kind of capacity that I'm able to accomplish during my tight schedules. However, if she were ever tipsy like this again there would be nothing stopping me from lifting her once more in my arms. Well nothing aside from her other four soulmates, my brothers.
Biologically, I was an only child, but I knew what having a sibling felt like thanks to Mengrai and I growing so close so fast. He might be a couple years my senior, but we were practically inseparable. When the group was first established it became my turn to be the big brother, and I adapted to that role rather quickly partially thanks to the big brother role model I already had. It was surprisingly easy to figuratively adopt the other four as my brothers. It took more time though to feel like a leader, but I wouldn't change anything.
I once again glanced over at where Lily was sleeping on the floor. I smiled as Jaeyeonie and Jiseongie got comfortable. I almost laughed out loud when I noticed Minsookie on the sidelines pouting. He was whispering with the two of them so I couldn't quite hear the conversation they were having, but I knew it had to do with the fact that they took the spots beside her due to his uncharacteristic pout.
I shake my head at their argument and walk back to my bedroom.
"Why does it get to be you two sleeping next to her tonight?" I might be whispering, but I don't hide the tinge of annoyance I am feeling towards the two roommates set up on the floor on either side of our soulmate.
Jiseongie lifts up on his elbow and looks over at Jaeyeon-hyung. Jaeyeon-hyung smirks at Jiseongie. "Jiseongie and I already share a room. It made the most sense to us to share the space on the floor out here."
I roll my eyes, and while I don't think that's fair reasoning at all I'm growing too tired to argue about it at this point. "Next time we are playing rock, paper, scissors for it or something."
Jiseongie smiles widely up at me. "I'm game for that."
I sigh in response to his statement, and immediately regret my suggestion. Yeah, because he rarely loses. If I didn't know how honest the maknae is I would accuse him of cheating. He's just crazy lucky.
Tonight ended up better than I could hope. Granted I had been annoyed at the Never Have I Ever statements that were thrown my way, but I'm practically an open book so in the long run I would have told Lily pretty much anything she learned tonight at some point in the near future. What honestly surprised me was the way I viewed women before now.
When Juah-hyung had thrown out the cheating statement I didn't pause before I explained why I didn't take a shot. I truly was momentarily bewildered by the way I had responded though. I did not view any of my conquests as a relationship. I had one or two women that I would see more than once, however I was always up front about the fact that there would only ever be sex between us. Nevertheless, I never really took a second to think about that fact before Juah-hyung made that 'Never Have I Ever' statement. I had been with one woman in particular several times, and in between those rendezvous with her, I had fucked plenty of other women. I never remotely considered it cheating though because I had an arrangement with the woman in question. In fact, I made sure every single woman I had sex with knew that I would never give my heart to any of them, that those feelings would be solely reserved for my soulmate. I point blank told them that a romantic relationship was completely and utterly off the table.
I smile down at Lily. She looks so peaceful. I lean over and kiss her on the cheek, and I smile when she instinctively turns into the touch. I back up a bit to give her some space before running the back of my index finger against the softness of her cheek. A soft smile grows on her face and she once again leans into the touch. I glance at the other two each separately for a moment before shaking my head and telling them goodnight.
I know I should be sleeping. We may not go into work until late in the afternoon tomorrow, but I can't seem to close my eyes. It's almost like they have a mind of their own, and they don't want a single moment to go by where I wasn't trailing them over my beautiful soulmate.
I have to admit when I imagined my soulmate I never expected her to be a foreigner. Surprisingly, I can't even think of a female foreign celebrity that I have ever found attractive either. Not even when I was younger, but that could be due to my horrible upbringing which caused a lack of exposure to foreign television and movies. My only forms of entertainment were spending time at the library, and finding things to do solitarily in my room. I didn't have my own television or computer until I moved in with my aunt.
A strand of hair curves toward Lily's face. Before I can register what I am doing I find myself reaching forward and smoothing the hair away. It isn't until my skin touches her that I realize it was a subconscious excuse to trail my fingers over her pale skin. It's so soft to the touch, and the pale shade of her skin looks like practically flawless porcelain. Except for the few freckles she has here and there scattered across her nose and cheeks. I wonder if they grow in abundance during warmer weather. I mentally catalog the fact that there isn't a drop of foundation or concealer to be found on her face. Even if she had any on when she got here she would have had to take a moment to clean it off, and I don't think she was in Juah-hyung's room long enough to clean her face.
A smile touches her lips, and I can't help but wonder what she is dreaming about. If she is reliving our games tonight. If she is simply dreaming of our future together. If she might be dreaming of me specifically.
Maybe she is dreaming of her and I in one of those tents she described. Where we are cuddled close together looking up at the stars in the night sky trying to point out the constellations we were studying. Hmm. Perhaps, I should plan something like that out in our future.
I smirk at myself as I see that Jiseongie is just staring at our soulmate. He is probably in his own little imaginary dream world filled with moments that make up his own personal brand of happiness. With little to no thought I throw my arm over Lily's waist. I don't want to bother her slumber so instead of pulling her into mine, like I want to, I scoot my body toward hers until I am flush against her. I veil the groan that builds in my throat at how her curves seem to fit perfectly against my frame like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. The way she feels in my arms would probably inspire lyrics for an infinite number of songs, but I am not about to lose my spot here to grab my notebook right now. I caress the bridge of my nose against the curve of her neck before relaxing against the comforters and blankets underneath me.
Her body warmth and the weight of the blankets around me have my eyes shuttering in next to no time at all. The last conscious thought I have as I drift to sleep is that I hope Lily doesn't freak out if she finds herself still cradled within my arms tomorrow morning.