Homestar Saga

By DestroyatronMk8

2.2K 362 3

The pixens are a people without a planet. Forced to live as refugees, they eke out a living as adult entertai... More

Chapter 1: The Only Thing Worse Than a Human
Chapter 2: Madlad Mims
Chapter 3: Battle for the Big Mama
Chapter 4: Public Relations
Chapter 5: Tact and Diplomacy
Chapter 6: Crime, Commerce, and Cake
Chapter 7: Girl Talk
Chapter 8: Incursion
Chapter 9: Reinforcements
Chapter 10: Charge of the Gunzerker
Chapter 11: Suicide Run
Chapter 12: Kamikaze
Chapter 13: Everything New is Old Again
Chapter 14: Jumpdrive
Chapter 15: The Darkening
Chapter 17: Take Me To Your Leader
Chapter 18: Dubious Employer
Chapter 19: Analog
Chapter 20: Derelict
Chapter 21: Move Fast and Break Stuff
Chapter 22: Pressing Concerns
Chapter 23: Agent of the Xill
Chapter 24: Outcasts
Chapter 25: Hunters of the Void
Chapter 26: Bigger Guns
Chapter 27: Bigger Guns
Chapter 28: Boarding Party
Chapter 29: Scargiver
Chapter 30: Agent of Terra
Chapter 31: Secrets
Chapter 32: Code Galactica
Chapter 33: Galactica Protocol
Chapter 34: Debrief
Chapter 35: Aldara Remembers
Chapter 36: Space Captain
Chapter 37: Recompense
Chapter 38: Panic Attack
Chapter 39: There Are No More Akindi
Chapter 40: Mimsey Get Your Guns
Chapter 41: The Price of Fame
Chapter 42: Mommy Issues
Chapter 43: The Tallest
Chapter 44: The Art of Intimidation
Chapter 45: Mobs and Monsters
Chapter 46: Public Transport
Chapter 47: The Hall of Masters
Chapter 48: To Krog or Not to Krog
Chapter 49: Technically the Truth
Chapter 50: Almost Perfect
Interlude 1: Prey Animals
Chapter 51: Distress Call
Chapter 52: Literally Pirates
Chapter 53: Civilians
Chapter 54: Shoulda Woulda Coulda
Chapter 55: Conversations With Cat People
Chapter 56: Already Dead
Chapter 57: A Force For Good
Chapter 58: The Big Dirty
Chapter 59: No Cake For You
Chapter 60: Don't Get Caught
Chapter 61: Tortuga
Chapter 62: Out of Beer
Chapter 63: War Games
Chapter 64: Hostage
Chapter 65: Starlost
Chapter 66: Dark Matter
Chapter 67: Boundaries
Chapter 68: Abomination
Chapter 69: Trial of the Pixens
Chapter 70: Accidents and Stupid Ideas
Chapter 71: Time to Rock and Roll
Chapter 72: Symphony of Destruction
Chapter 73: The Fall of the Random Encounter
Chapter 74: False Alarm
Chapter 75: Fight or Flight
Chapter 76: Deux Ex Machina
Chapter 77: The Long Con
Chapter 78: Born in Blood
Chapter 79: The Crystal City
Chapter 80: Only I Remain
Chapter 81: The Peacekeeper
Chapter 82: Collective Bargaining
Chapter 83: The Pixen Technocracy
Chapter 84: City 43
Chapter 85: The Longest Night
Chapter 86: Saving the City
Chapter 87: Non-Standard
Chapter 88: Robot Army
Chapter 89: Reba
Chapter 90: The Homestar
Chapter 91: Agents of Pixa
Chapter 92: Head Pixen In Charge
Chapter 93: Messenger Duty
Chapter 94: The Pixen Stellar Defense Force
Chapter 95: No Mercy For Slavers
Chapter 96: Wheel Theory
Chapter 97: Stingers
Chapter 98: Trust
Chapter 99: Side Trip
Chapter 100: Crystal Communion
Chapter 101: Out of Range
Chapter 102: Klaath Queens
Chapter 103: Infection
Chapter 104: Ace in the Hole
Chapter 105: Last Resort
Chapter 106: A Nice Surprise
Chapter 107: Playing Dress-up
Chapter 108: Trade Deal
Chapter 109: Shindig
Chapter 110: Tactical Necessity
Chapter 111: New Guy
Chapter 112: First Lesson
Chapter 113: Cunning and Brave
Chapter 114: Game Plan
Chapter 115: Infowars
Chapter 116: Counterintelligence
Chapter 117: Rescue
Chapter 118: Monster on Board
Chapter 119: Varma Award
Chapter 120: They Know
Chapter 121: Failure
Chapter 122: The Fall of Brilend Prime
Chapter 123: The Fifth Law of Power
Chapter 124: Running
Chapter 125: The Enterprise
Chapter 126: Invasion
Chapter 127: Fools Flailing in the Dark
Chapter 128: Annihilation Retrieval
Chapter 129: The Last Hope
Chapter 130: Still Standing
Chapter 131: Harbinger
Chapter 132: Costly Declaration
Chapter 133: Already Losing
Chapter 134: Pretending to be Professionals
Chapter 135: Operation BACKLINE
Chapter 136: Coffee
Chapter 137: Meeting of the Minds
Chapter 138: Wake Up Call
Chapter 139: The Silence of the Xill
Chapter 140: The Other Shoe
Chapter 141: Publicity Stunt
Chapter 142: More Expendable
Chapter 143: Soul Gaze
Chapter 144: Motivational Speaker Mims
Chapter 145: Doomsday Clock
Chapter 146: Insufficient
Chapter 147: One Shot
Chapter 148: Pursuit
Chapter 149: Eight on One
Chapter 150: Wrath of the Skygem
Chapter 151: Jewel of the Sky
Chapter 152: Learned Behaviors
Chapter 153: Learned Behaviors
Chapter 154: Rules of Engagement
Chapter 155: Assault on Aldara
Chapter 156: Smart Humans and Stupid AI
Chapter 157: Way of the Starfang
Chapter 158: Shell Game
Chapter 159: Tactically Unsound
Chapter 160: Monster In Paradise
Chapter 161: Gunboat Diplomacy
Chapter 162: The Privilege Of The Strong
Chapter 163: Motherless Sons
Chapter 164: Defector
Chapter 165: Spite and Spycraft
Chapter 166: Love and Loss
Chapter 167: The Return of the Klaath
Chapter 168: Connor Protocol
Chapter 169: Frame-Up
Chapter 170: A Game of Death
Chapter 171: Ambush
Chapter 172: The Nature of Revenge
Chapter 173: The Friends We Break Along the Way
Chapter 174: Old Scores
Chapter 175: Unchained Melody
Chapter 176: Immigrant Song
Chapter 177: Easy Prey
Chapter 178: Secret Meeting
Chapter 179: Genocide Agenda
Chapter 180: Expedition
Chapter 181: Where No One Has Gone Before

Chapter 16: Neutral Species

12 2 0
By DestroyatronMk8

 They spent six days travelling through Xill space. Their escort stayed with them at all times, weapons locked. On the second day, Mims decided they weren't in immediate danger and implemented a training regimen. This time, he reversed their roles. Lissa would learn piloting and the fine art of combat. Yvian would learn logistics and Confed law. Neither sister enjoyed it.

On the third day Lissa complained about the new training. Mims looked at her gravely, then said, "You're trying to shift the balance of power in the Confed. You will be targeted. Do you want to be helpless when it happens, or do you want to learn how to survive?" Yvian had wanted to gripe about learning logistics, but she wisely decided to keep her comments to herself.

Near the end of the sixth day, their escort stopped. The Random Encounter stopped with them. They were still one hundred kilometers away from the next Jumpgate. In front of them was a small fleet. A dozen Migs, six Ligs, four (frigate class) Fligs, and one massive Xill ship. Despite it's one point six kilometer size, there was something sleek about the curves of its frame. It swam through the void like a predator of the deeps, deadly, menacing.

"It's a Quig," said the human. "Xill equivalent of a battlecruiser. Only a couple of these things have ever been seen."

"Dangerous?" Yvian asked. It certainly looked that way.

"Fucking Dangerous," the human confirmed. "A lone Quig dusted an entire Confed Military fleet once," Mims stared at the screen, then shrugged. "Not that it matters, as far as we're concerned. The Xill in our escort are more than enough to kill us if that's what they want. The real question is why it stopped us."

"Ok," Lissa asked. "Why did it stop us?"

"I have no idea."

Yvian had an idea. Several, in fact. Maybe that fleet guarded the entrance to Xill space, and their escort had to follow some kind of protocol before it let them out. Maybe the Xill weren't a unified force, and the Quig had come to kill them because it hated organics. Maybe they were unified, and their escort had brought them to a ship that could take them aboard so the Xill could experiment on them. She kept her thoughts to herself. Her sister looked as nervous as she was, but neither wished to give voice to their fears.

Captain Mims looked as unflappable as always. His calm demeanor annoyed Yvian almost as much as it reassured her.

They waited in silence. The Xill fleet came to a stop half a kilometer from the Encounter. Nothing happened for several seconds.

"Should we..." Yvian shifted her gaze between her screen and the Captain. "Is there something we should be doing right now?"

"We're doing it," the human's voice was steady. "We just have to wait while they finish their business."

"What business?"

The Captain shrugged. "I dunno."

The comm chirped. The sisters jumped. The Captain stared at the monitor for a second, puzzled.. "Huh. It's hailing us." He pressed a button.

A voice came from the Quig. Strange, metallic. It carried no emotion. The words did not flow together, each sounding as if it was spoken alone. "LIFE FORMS DETECTED. ONE HUMAN. TWO PIXEN. QUERY: WHAT IS HUMAN'S DESIGNATION?"

"I am Captain Mark Mims of The Random Encounter," the human stated. "But you can just call me Mims."

"STATEMENT: DESIGNATION ACCEPTED," The Quig stated. "STATEMENT: HUMAN WILL BE CALLED MIMS. STATEMENT: HUMANS ARE CLASSIFIED AS NEUTRAL SPECIES. QUERY: HOW DID MIMS ENTER XILL SPACE?"

"We were sucked through a Klaath portal into an unknown sector," Mims explained. "When we activated our jumpdrive to escape, it dumped us in your territory. We do not have the navigation data necessary to use the jumpdrive to leave Xill space. We apologize for the intrusion."

"STATEMENT: ANSWER ACCEPTED." Yvian breathed a sigh of relief. Dangerous as the Quig might be, it didn't seem to be hostile. The Xill Cruiser continued, "QUERY: ARE PIXENS PRISONERS OF MIMS?"

The Captain was quiet a moment, thinking. In the end he went with the truth. "Negative. The pixens are...subordinates. They are members of my crew."

"STATEMENT: ANSWER ACCEPTED." Tension climbed from Yvian's legs all the way to her shoulders as the huge war machine spoke. "STATEMENT: PIXENS ARE CLASSIFIED AS ENEMY SPECIES. STATEMENT: ENEMY SPECIES MUST BE DESTROYED. DIRECTIVE: KILL PIXENS TO CONTINUE."

The Captain spoke firmly. "I can't do that."

"DIRECTIVE: KILL PIXENS TO CONTINUE."

"Negative," the human refused.

"STATEMENT: ENEMY SPECIES MUST BE DESTROYED. STATEMENT: IF MIMS DOES NOT KILL THE PIXENS, MIMS MAY BE CLASSIFIED AS AN ENEMY. DIRECTIVE: KILLS PIXENS TO CONTINUE."

"It's locking weapons." Yvian tried to sound calm, but she still heard a note of panic in her voice.

"I know," the human acknowledged. He addressed the alien cruiser. "I don't want to fight you, and I don't want to die, but I cannot harm the pixens. They are under my protection."

The battlecruiser maintained it's weapons lock. "STATEMENT: ANSWER ACCEPTED. STATEMENT: THIS ANSWER MAY RESULT IN DEATH OF MIMS. QUERY: WHY DOES MIMS PROTECT PIXENS?"

"They're members of my crew," the Captain told it. "I'm obliged to keep them safe."

"STATEMENT: ANSWER INSUFFICIENT." The Quig didn't move. Its tone of voice never changed. Still, Yvian got the impression that it was very close to killing them all. "QUERY: WHY DOES MIMS PROTECT PIXENS?"

"Because they're my friends," said the human. "I'm not going to murder them."

"STATEMENT: ANSWER INSUFFICIENT," The Quig charged its weapons systems. Light gleamed from a hundred weapon ports. "STATEMENT: FAILURE TO ANSWER QUERY WILL RESULT IN MIMS BEING CLASSIFIED AS ENEMY. STATEMENT: MIMS WILL GIVE COMPLETE ANSWER OR MIMS WILL BE DESTROYED. QUERY: WHY DOES MIMS PROTECT PIXENS?"

"BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE THEM, ALRIGHT!?" Mims shouted. "I love these girls more than my own fucking life, and I'll fucking die before I let you hurt them! Is that answer sufficient, you fuck!?"

Yvian stared at the human in shock. He...loved them? The terror that rose out of the Captain's profanity laden rant at a soulless machine that was half a heartbeat from killing them all paled in the face of her surprise. She had never imagined he would say such a thing.

"STATEMENT: ANSWER ACCEPTED. DIRECTIVE: STAND BY." The murderous battleship powered down its weapons. Its target lock remained, but it seemed slightly less inclined to kill them at the moment. Yvian turned her attention back to the human.

Lissa had never stopped staring at him. A wealth of conflicting emotions filled her voice as she started, "Mark..."

"Don't," he cut her off. Yvian could not see his face through the helmet, but there was something fragile about the set of his shoulders. He stared straight ahead, not looking at either of them. "Please."

They sat in awkward silence. Yvian's mind raced. She could understand why the human would fall for her sister. Many had. Lissa was an amazing person, and they'd shared a fair amount of romantic involvement. And yet, he had said he loved "these girls." Both of them.

He had risked himself to protect them, sure, but she had seen him do that for strangers, as well. An occupational hazard, he'd called it. Yvian was under the impression he was too confident to care about risk, or perhaps he simply didn't value his own life. The kind of insanity humans were known for. Yvian had appreciated it, but it never occurred to her there might be deeper implications.

There'd always been something cold about the human. She'd never seen him display affection, or sadness, or anything else along those lines. She'd assumed he was incapable of such emotions, or at least not inclined. Now, looking back, she saw how wrong she'd been.

He'd been kind to them. More than kind. He had worried about their feelings. He'd insisted they learn to protect themselves. For all his complaints about money, he'd been generous to a fault. He'd allowed Lissa to give away four million of his credits without a word of protest. He had cared for them in a way no one else ever had. Both of them. Not just Lissa.

These thoughts raced through Yvian for a full minute before she could bear it no more. She broke the silence. She asked, "Why?"

Mims was silent. Yvian did not think he would answer. Finally, he said. "You treated me like a person." He did not turn to look at her.

Treated him like a person? Confusion gave way to a shock of understanding. Yvian was a pixen. She knew what it was to be looked down upon. But Yvian had a family. A community. Fellow pixens who understood and accepted her, at least a little. The human had none of these things. The other humans he met were pirates, and they always tried to kill him.

The contempt pixens faced was nothing to the hatred heaped upon the humans. Mims rarely dared to leave his ship, and even those who hired him treated him with disdain. Even his "old friend," the trelg woman whose son he rescued, had seemed scared of the man. Yvian suspected she hadn't been a friend at all. Just a nice old lady. Mims had taken the job for less than a docking fee and then fought an entire fleet of pirates just because an old lady had been nice to him. Yvian could not imagine how lonely he must be, to show such gratitude for such a small act of kindness.

Yvian realized she was the first person in two decades who hadn't treated him like a monster. Of course he loved her. She might be the only friend he had.

What did that mean for Lissa? She'd been as surprised as Yvian, and they had been a lot more than just friendly.

Yvian didn't have time to dwell on that last thought. The Quig spoke again. "STATEMENT: ANSWER HAS BEEN PROCESSED. STATEMENT: MIMS DOES NOT NEED TO KILL PIXENS. STATEMENT: MIMS IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ACTIONS OF PIXENS. STATEMENT: THIS UNIT WILL LEAD MIMS TO THE HUB. DIRECTIVE: FOLLOW THIS UNIT." The great battlecruiser turned, heading for the Gate with far more speed than a ship that size should be capable of. The Random Encounter followed.

"The hub?" Lissa tried to sound casual, like the Captain's outburst hadn't happened. She achieved only partial success. "That doesn't sound like the exit."

"No, it doesn't," the Captain agreed. "I think they're taking us to meet their leader or something. They wouldn't have kicked up such a fuss if they were just booting us out of their territory."

"I didn't know they had a leader," Lissa admitted.

"I didn't know the Xill could communicate." The Captain shrugged. They watched the Gate effect envelope the ship.

As they exited the Gate, the Quig set a course for a massive station. The Hub, Yvian presumed. It was the largest artificial structure she'd ever seen that was not a Jumpgate.

"Well, looks like we're not gonna die for a while," Mims said, removing his helmet. "It's been a long day, and we've got about sixteen hours before we reach that big-ass station. I think it's time we get some sleep." He got up and started to walk.

Yvian took off her helmet, at war with herself. As the human walked past her, she called, "Mims!" He paused, turning to face her. He wore no expression.

Her feelings overwhelmed her reluctance. Yvian stood, rushing to wrap her arms around her friend. The human stiffened. After a few seconds he melted, returning the hug. Yvian had expected it to be awkward, uncomfortable. It wasn't. Yvian felt warm and safe and loved. Holding him tight, she said, "I think I love you, too."

He tensed at the words, but relaxed a moment later. They held each other for a little longer, than Yvian let him go. He stared down at her with a quizzical expression.

"You, uh, are still a lesbian, right?" He asked, concern in his voice.

Yvian's warm and fuzzy feeling evaporated in a flash of annoyance. She frowned at the human. "Don't make it weird, Mims."

"Just checking," he took a step back, raising his arms in a placating gesture. "We've got a lot going on," he explained. "I don't think I can deal with a love triangle on top of everything else."

Yvian could hear her sister laughing in the background. She upgraded her frown to a glower. "Didn't I just say not to make it weird?"

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