*This chapter contains explicit content*
I was standing next to Millie at the bar, "I think I might actually give it a try," She was talking about her and Cisco getting together.
"Yay! Good for you. I honestly think you should try at the least, you don't have to worry about surprises because he's my brother, you know," I had just finished my first drink of the night and was ordering another. Francisco's talk with me earlier today really got to me, I felt the need to restrain myself. So, before we even left the house I told myself that I would limit myself to 3 drinks. We were already at the club for a couple hours, it was about 11:30. So, when it came to my progress I was doing alright. Whenever we all went out together, we usually didn't turn in till around 1 or 2 in the morning.
"I know, I never realized that he liked me. I thought he was just a nice person to everyone and liked to have fun. I thought it was a matter of convenience that he talked to me and asked me to dance and stuff."
"Yeah, you've always been clueless," I laughed and grabbed my drink off of the counter.
Me and Millie made our way back to the group, drinks in hand. Jane was never much of a drinker, so me and Millie just handed drinks to Judah and Cisco. We were all gathered around one of the tables, taking a break from dancing. Judah and Jane were talking and so was Millie and Cisco. I often felt like the fifth wheel on these outings, but I actually loved spending time with all of them. I pulled out my phone, trying to let everyone have their 1 on 1 time together. There was a message from Sharron.
Hey, Ive been thinking about you. Wanna
hang out sometime? I just want to get to
know you. No sex.
I couldn't help laughing a bit at the message,
No thanks
I replied quickly and looked through my other messages. Nothing caught my eye, I was very selective on my tinder account. So unless the person hit me with something that was more than 'hey' and also not obnoxious or cheesy, they didn't even get the time of day.
There was a poke on my back, "Hey I think we're going to head out," I turned to see Millie and Francisco.
Francisco was holding Millie's hand, I smiled at them and hugged each one, "I knew it," I couldn't help saying in her ear, "Have fun."
After they were out of view, I turned to see Judah and Jane swapping spit. 'Okay, I should get ready to leave.' But, I didn't want to go home alone. I drank my drink and opened my messages again. I decided against my old rule of not having sex with the same person more than once. After all, situation Kyle turned out very well. I imagined how you could level up from Sharron and I's last experience together as I opened our messages again.
How about we do have sex. Tonight?
I finished my second drink, a little quicker than I was planning. I looked over at Judah and Jane one more time, they were completely invested in each other. I decided against interrupting them and made my way to the bar.
"Hey Ky, what you need?" Bailey asked me, she was a bartender. We were acquainted, she was always so sweet.
"Hey, 7 and 7," I leaned against the bar and she started to get the drink together.
Alonzo spotted me and made his way over towards me from behind the bar, " Hey cutie, how about that shot I offered you last night?"
I smiled at him, "You know what, I'll take it. Buzzkill isn't here to stop me this time," I joked.
"Nice," he grinned widely and grabbed a shot glass, pouring me some Hennessy Black. I also liked cognac quite a bit. He knew my favorites were dark liquor.
"Ouu! Thank you boo," I smiled and took the shot.
"That's gonna cost a kiss," He flirted.
"Here you go, girl," Bailey slid my drink over to me, I was reaching to pay and Alonzo smacked his hand on the bar.
"I got that one too. So, 2 kisses please," He leaned forward on the bar puckering his lips.
"Aren't you like, actually gay or something dude?" I laughed at his persistence as I picked up my drink.
"No! That's Tristen," He replied offended, "You don't even fuck with me do you?"
"Not really, I'm sorry," I couldn't help laughing at the situation, "If you weren't Judah's coworker I would probably fuck you. But, you are. So, since I have a rule of not banging people I'll see again, it sucks to be you."
"Damn," he snapped his fingers, "I'll have to quit, maybe I can catch your attention then."
"Let me know when you do," I sipped my drink and smiled, "Thanks for the drink, babe."
I walked away, I felt rude. But I couldn't do the whole leading people on, thing. I was simple enough. I liked attention, but I don't want to involve myself with people I saw often. It got messy. I made my way back over to the table, Judah and Jane were gone. I shimmied past a few people, looking for them. I knew they couldn't be too far away, we didn't say bye to each other. I found them all over each other on the dance floor, getting sloppy. I sighed and drank some more of my drink.
I turned back around and made my way to the bar again. 'Wait, you have a limit!' I mentally checked myself. Immediately realizing that I had already fucked up, that shot Alonzo gave me. 'Damn, I ain't shit.' I felt a pang of disappointment within myself. But instead of just stopping, I decided that I might as well live it up since I already screwed up.
I chugged my drink and put my glass on the counter. Bailey came up to me, "I thought it was a slow night for you. I was concerned," she laughed, "Same thing?"
"Can you do a Whiskey Sour?" I asked as I took out my phone.
"No problem," She replied. I had a message from Sharron,
If you insist 😉
Where should my uber be heading?
I replied and put my phone back into my butt pocket. I was wearing some ripped jeans with black knee high boots and a black, lace bodysuit. Bailey slid me my drink and I slid her cash as I picked up my drink, "Thanks," I left as her signal to keep the change. My phone vibrated with a notification from Sharron, most likely. I pulled out my phone to see that he sent me an address. I copied the address into my uber and ordered it, I had 6 minutes until it was here. I threw my head back and downed my drink all at once. I put my glass down on a random table as I started walking to the front of the bar. It was almost 12, I texted Judah with Sharron's name and address.
As I stepped out of the bar onto the moderately busy street, a random girl walked past me and slapped my ass. I whipped my head around to look at her, she was blonde and had on a very skimpy dress. I had no clue who she was.
"I thought you were someone else," She burst out laughing, "You have a really nice ass."
I laughed too, "Thanks. Kyleigh," I introduced myself as I tucked some hair behind my ear.
"I'm Liz," her eyes were blue and she was absolutely gorgeous. "By any chance, have you ever been with a woman?"
I raised my eyebrows suggestively, "I mean, once or twice."
She got close to me, "Wanna get with one tonight?"
I smirked and looked her up and down. She was fit, she wore simple black heels and a tight red dress, "Eh, I was kind of on my way to this guy's house."
"Well can I come with?" She ran her fingers down my side.
I looked over towards the busy street, 'Do I want to try to have a threesome tonight?' I thought to myself. "You know what," I looked back at her, I was about an inch taller than her in my boots, "Let me see." She smiled and nodded, taking a step back. 'Man, LA is kind of wild sometimes.' I pulled out my phone and texted Sharron:
Mind if I bring a friend?
"So, you do this kind of thing often?" I asked her simply.
"What do you mean?" She was giggling.
"Pick up random girls on your way home?" We were both standing on the sidewalk, facing each other.
She continued laughing and leaned forward, "I never plan on going home."
I ran my fingers through my hair, "Ah, so you do. Are threesomes a common outcome?"
She nodded at me, "Oh, yeah. For sure."
I smiled at her, "I should try it sometime."
She bit her lip, "I think I need your number."
I laughed and pulled out my phone, my uber was here. There was also a text from Sharron:
I have 2 of you to worry about now?
You'll manage. Omw
I looked at Liz and grabbed her hand, "Let's get out of here."
~
I waked in the front door of my apartment and Judah was in the kitchen with Jane, she was sitting on the counter and I'm pretty sure they were fucking. They were breathing heavily and Judah was leaning his head to look around her, "Shit, hey."
"You better wipe that down," I laughed and walked into my room, closing the door behind me. It was a normal occurrence, walking in on him with either Jane or Kelsey. Thankfully, she wasn't completely naked, she was wearing a dress so he probably had easy access.
I turned some music on, on my speaker and took off my jewelry. I had a good time with Sharron and Liz. It had been a while since I did something fun like that. I laid on my bed and thought about how hectic everything was. At one point I was taking dick from Sharron and trying to eat her out at the same time.
~ flashback ~
Liz was lying on her back, I had my face between her legs. She was gasping and cheering me on, "Yes, yes!"
I was ass up, taking it from behind. Sharron was gripping my hips, trying to keep me still. His strokes weren't as fast or as hard as I would've liked them to be. But, if they were I probably wouldn't be doing such a good job with Liz anyway. He was going deep and slow, I groaned. It felt like he was teasing me. I worked as hard as I could to finish off Liz so that I could get some real dick.
I increased my suction just a little bit and picked up the tempo with my tongue. A sharp moan escaped her lips and her legs wrapped around my face. 'I think I did it.' I was proud of myself and forced my tongue between her lips to keep it going for a bit longer. Once her legs loosened up, I backed my face up and looked back towards Sharron, throwing myself back harder. He got the hint and thrust himself into me quicker.
~ end flashback ~
I shook my head, threesomes are too much. I took so much time on Liz. But on the other hand, it did turn me on even more. The anticipation of everything intensified the pleasure. I smiled, remembering the conversation afterwards. Liz was actually really funny, we added each other on snapchat. With her personality and casual manner, I wouldn't mind if she and I saw each other again. Even if it didn't have anything to do with sex.
I heard Judah's door close, I sat up and took off my boots. I knew they went into his room, so I opened the door and walked into the kitchen. The Apple Crown wasn't on the fridge anymore, 'That's right he said he moved it last night.' I thought, blushing as I remembered everything he told me. I thought about last night hard, trying to remember for myself. I hunted through the kitchen, looking for the bottle.
Finally, I found it hiding behind some boxes of cereal. I took it down and set it on the counter. I grabbed a cup and filled it about 1/3 of the way with liquor and filled the rest with apple juice. I went back into my room and sat on my bed, still trying my best to think about last night.
I slowly began putting memories together as I sipped on my drink. Pieces of talking to Francisco and drinking by myself came back, and finally when Judah came back home. I remembered hugging him tightly when he walked in. Pieces of rubbing his chest in the kitchen, then eventually, the part I was looking for came back.
~ flashback ~
He sat down on the couch and I immediately got up, I was on my knees looking at him, "You know, I think we should really just say fuck it." I threw my leg across his legs to the other side. I sat myself on his lap, my arms were resting on each of his shoulders. I leaned forward, whispering in his ear, "I want you so bad," My lips brushed his ear. I kissed it softly and put my hand on the back of his neck. He put his hands on my hips.
He pushed me back, "I don't think-"
"Shhh," I hushed him and kissed his neck, giggling softly, "It's okay." I kissed his neck again, running my tongue over his veins. I felt him swallow as I sucked on his skin softly. I bit him gently, scraping my teeth across his skin. I moved towards the back of his neck and kissed it again.
He groaned, "Ky, please, you're drunk."
I felt him harden beneath me, I sank into the feeling and rubbed myself onto him. 'Mmm, he's so yummy.' I ran my tongue up his neck and moaned softly, "Come on," I whined to him, "Please?" I put my hands on his chest and pushed him back, I fumbled with the buttons on his shirt and kissed across his collarbones. My hips kept moving slowly, making as much contact as possible. Once the buttons were all undone, I ran my hands down the front of his body. I bit my lip, looking at his muscles.
"Kyleigh. Stop," He pushed me back so that he could sit up a bit, "We can't. You're messed up right now. You aren't thinking straight."
"Hey," I pushed his chest back again, leaning forward and kissing down his chest, "You don't understand."
He pushed me back again, "Yes, I do. I want you too. Trust me."
I looked at him as I raised an eyebrow, slipping my fingers into the top of his jeans, "Just have me then," I taunted him. I kept running my hand across his bare skin, biting my lip. I looked at his lips and back at his eyes. I wanted to kiss him so bad. His eyes left mine and looked down at my lips too, then back at my eyes. I leaned forward quickly, enveloping his lips in mine. It was electric. Our lips melted into each other, moving slowly. I moaned and ground my hips against his. He grabbed my ass and pulled me into him harder. I pulled back from the kiss, looking down at his crotch. I tried to unbutton his jeans, but his hands grabbed mine.
He threw my hands to each side and picked me up, both of his hands were gripping the back of my upper thigh tightly. I dropped onto the couch on my back, he was standing above me. I put my finger in my mouth and giggled. He took a step back and covered his face, muffling a moan. I sat up and grabbed the bottom of my top, pulling it over my head. "Not like this," He looked back at me, "No! What are you doing?" he groaned.
"I'm just making it eas-"
"No. We aren't having sex," His voice was stern, he was looking me in the eye.
I pouted, "But, please?"
"If you were sober, you wouldn't be doing any of this," He sat down and looked towards the TV.
"How do you know?" I sat up, "I think about this moment a lot."
He looked at me again, glancing down at my chest and back up at my face, "You're drunk. Put your shirt back on."
I looked down at my boobs, grabbing them both and looking at him, "Come on, please?" I put my hand on his thigh as I leaned forward, "I want you so bad right now. I've wanted you for so long."
He swallowed and put his hands on mine, "No, Ky. Not tonight, if you want it that bad you can come to me first thing tomorrow. I'll wait in my room for you."
I whined, "I want you now though," I leaned forward to kiss him again.
He grabbed my cheek, stopping my advancement, "I need you to remember our first time, okay?" He paused, I was a few inches from his face. I looked down at his lips again, he leaned forward and kissed me slowly, passionately. He pulled away and my eyes were still closed, I groaned and bit my lip.
"Okay. I will," I agreed, sitting back, "You better make it worth waiting."
~ end flashback ~
'Holy shit.' I replayed parts of the memory over and over, emphasizing the mini make out. I was turning myself on all over again. I covered my face and groaned. I really came so close to having my way. I found myself wishing Jane wasn't in the next room with him, I wanted to talk to him. 'Yeah, just talk.' I thought to myself. I tried to remember more, I had small pieces of snuggling into his chest but that was it. I wished I remembered the moment I told him I was in love with him. 'What did that feel like?' I wondered what would have made me say that. It couldn't have been in lust, he said that was the most lustful moment of the night. Unless there's more I was forgetting.
I chugged the rest of my drink and turned off my music. I decided I was going to go to bed, I took my cup into the kitchen and put it in the sink. Judah's door opened, Jane walked out and closed the door behind her.
She saw me in the kitchen and smiled, "Hey."
"Hey," I replied, smiling.
"You have fun with that guy?" She leaned on the counter, 'Oh yeah, that.'
"Yeah, it was pretty fun. More than you know," I laughed.
"You left in a hurry, I wasn't used to that."
"Yeah, you guys just seemed to be having such a good time. I didn't want to interrupt," I leaned back against the sink.
She rolled her eyes and sat up straight, "You know it wouldn't have been a bother, right?"
"I know," I smiled, "Don't worry about it."
Jane was always so sweet. I liked her a lot more than Kelsey. Not that either of them were super great, but if I had to pick it would be Jane. Judah opened the door and walked into the kitchen, slapping Jane's ass on his way to the fridge.
"You sticking around?" he asked her as he grabbed a bottle of water. He didn't bother putting a shirt on. I took the opportunity to admire the muscles on his back. They were overly defined at the moment, for obvious reasons.
"No, I'm about to head out. Just wanted to talk to Ky and say bye," She walked over to Judah and put her arms around his neck, he wrapped his arms around her waist and gave her a few quick kisses. I turned away, making my way to the bathroom.
"Bye," Jane shouted and soon the front door opened and shut again.
I put my hands on the bathroom counter and looked at myself in the mirror. I sighed and looked down into the sink, there was too much going on in my head. I didn't know what to do about any of it. I started pouring micellar water onto a cotton pad when Judah walked into the bathroom. He squeezed past me, his front brushing against my back and sat on the side of the bathtub. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, 'Stop.' I mentally scolded my involuntary reactions.
"You good?" Judah asked.
"Mhm," I looked at him in the mirror, "Why wouldn't I be?"
He was looking directly at me, his eyes scanned my body, "I don't know. You seem off."
I swallowed at the way he was looking at me, 'Why am I paying so much attention to him right now?' I began to wipe off my makeup, "Everything's fine."
He looked at my face for a while, then he seemed to brush it off, "How was your night?"
I laughed, I had kept forgetting about my earlier encounter, "Wild."
"Ah," He smiled. I left the bathroom and he followed me to my room, "Do tell."
I signaled him to give me some privacy, he just turned around and sat on my bed, facing the wall, "Well," I began as I took off my jeans, "I met this girl at the club, her name was Liz," I threw on some shorts and called it good, "Long story short she came with. It was a lot."
He laughed, "So you had yourself a threesome? Joking about me, Jane and Kelsey the other night, huh? I can't with you."
"I mean, you said yourself, shit happens right?" I grabbed a hair tie and started putting my hair up in a bun.
He turned around looking at me, I was expecting his face to be dripping with amusement but it wasn't. I laid on my back next to him, "Yeah, I guess it does," he said.
"So," I paused, looking at him, "I wanted to talk to you."
He laid on his stomach next to me, "What's up?"
"I remembered some things," I said, looking away from him.
It was quiet for a minute, then he spoke again, "What did you want to talk about?"
I looked at him once again, he wasn't looking at me anymore though. I sighed, "I wanted to say I'm sorry." 'No I don't. I want to discuss these rules. I want to discuss how amazing that kiss was. I want to talk to you about all of it. I want to try it again.'
"Don't be," He looked at me.
"I'm sorry that I was drunk," I clarified.
"Don't trip, honestly. I don't mind," He brushed it off.
"I'm sorry that I wasn't sober."
It was quiet for a minute, neither of us looked at each other or uttered a word. Until finally, "What is that supposed to mean?"
I thought carefully about what to say next, "It means I wish that something that intense wasn't associated with me being drunk," I paused before continuing on, "That moment, that kiss. It-"
"Kyleigh, please. Let's just sleep on this, okay?" Judah interrupted me and stood up, "I can't do this right now."
"Why not?" I asked.
He sighed, "I don't know. It's just, it's a lot. Okay?"
"Well when will you be able to do this?" I sat up, slightly offended.
"I don't know."
"Do you not want to have this conversation?"
He groaned, "Can we do this in the morning?"
"Why not now?" I persisted.
"I drank a lot, my mind is kind of impulsive. I want to have this conversation, just not right now," He reassured me.
"Yeah, fine," I let it go and laid back down, "Whatever, just turn off the light."
The room went dark and my heart sank, "Should I leave?"
"Well, you shouldn't stay," I said bluntly, "Wouldn't want you to pull a me, right?"
He sat on the edge of the bed, "Don't be mad. I'm sorry. I want to talk about this. It's just too important for me to have to worry about my judgment being less than 100%."
"I understand. It's fine."
"Kyleigh, I love you."
Those words hit me differently. I let them sink in for a moment, wondering what exactly it meant to him when he said them. I pulled the blanket over my body, unsure of how to feel or what to say, "Goodnight."
He placed his hand on my thigh, then he leaned down and kissed the side of my head, "Sleep good."
The weight shifted off of my bed and I heard him walk away. A few moments later I felt like there was a black hole in my chest, and everything was falling into it. 'Why do I feel like crying?' I shut my eyes tightly, my thoughts were falling into the hole too, scattering everywhere. 'I should've told him to stay. Why didn't I tell him that I love him too? Why am I so upset?' I began to breathe heavily. I took a deep breath, trying to stop myself but it didn't work. Tears slowly ran down the side of my face, and my breathing was erratic. I wrapped my arms around myself tightly. 'What is wrong with me? Why can't I just be normal and communicate like an adult?' My breathing became too much to contain, I opened my mouth inhaling sharply.
I must have been quite loud, Judah's footsteps approached quickly. I guess it made sense that he heard me, our bedrooms were only 9 feet apart and neither door was closed. I held my breath, trying to quiet down. Judah got into the bed and under the covers, he laid behind me and wrapped his arms around me tightly. I let go of my breath and sobbed hysterically. He kissed the back of my head, and rested his cheek there afterwards. I hugged his arms with mine and let myself hurt.
"It's okay, Ky," Judah whispered in my ear, I was practically hyperventilating, "Breathe."
I forced myself to take a big breath in, then let it out quickly all at once. I repeated that process over and over until my exhales became longer and smoother. I eventually stopped crying, I laid there silently. My breath hitched every now and then, still. My lips were tingling. I let out a long breath, trying to let my body relax again.
"I'm sorry," Judah said quietly, "I didn't mean to-"
"You didn't," I interrupted softly, sniffling, "It's just too much. I couldn't think. I felt too much. There's just a lot."
He kissed the back of my head again. I think he understood that I just got mentally overwhelmed, it used to happen frequently. His arms tightened around me and he just laid there, holding me. After a few minutes passed he asked, "You okay if I sleep here?"
I nodded, "Please."