Iiris' PoV
Slowly, Aleksi pulled away from me and just as slowly I opened my eyes to meet his blue ones. The kiss was unexpected but it was something I had missed since the last time.
"Sorry.. Too fast, I guess.. " Aleksi said with a shy smile on his lips.
"Don't apologize.. I think I can speak for both of us if I suggest we start over.. From the clean sheet, you know... Get to know each other and just take it slow.. " I never imagined to just come here and go straight to bed with him again. I needed some time to do that and I am sure so does Aleksi. No matter how much I missed him, the only right way to handle this was to give us time and let things go on naturally.
"That sounds actually a pretty good idea.. It all escalated way too fast last time and... You sure need time.. "
"Not only me.. I don't want us to rush, Aleksi. I care about you, I really do.. But I think we should just let things evolve slowly.. I just got back without telling you I'd be coming and I cannot ask you to get into a relationship with me just like that.. Especially not after I just left you like that.. And I need to find a place to live anyway.. And a job.."
"You can stay here.." Aleksi was ready to offer me the same room where I spent a few weeks but I was not ready for that. Of course I wanted to stay here and spend every second of the day with him, but this was the place where we needed to pull the breaks. I knew if I'd stay here things will go just as fast as they did last time and I did not want that.
"Thanks.. I knew you would say that.. But I think it's better if we.. Have our own place to be, first at least .. I think what I am trying to say is that.." It started to feel harder than it all sounded in my mind but I knew I had to say it out loud for the last time in my whole life. Not that I wanted to mention his name anymore, but I wanted Aleksi to really understand what I meant with all this step by step thing I was after.
"I guess I want to say that because the thing with Rauli got so toxic and cut me out of my life completely, then I would love it if we could just.. God this sounds so stupid.." I laughed nervously and looked at the floor. I felt like a teenager again and I was not sure if it was a good or a bad sign. It felt weird, but it might be just the needed feeling to confirm to me that I was doing the right thing.
"Would you like to go on a date with me?" Aleksi asked with the same shy smile still painted on his lips. This was what I loved about him - he seemed to understand me even when I struggled to find the right words. My heart made a few extra hard beats in my chest and for some reason I started to blush. I wanted to go on dates and live that period again where you are getting to know each other and falling in love. I wanted to relive the passionate good night kisses by the doorstep and prepare the cozy movie dates at home. I missed the feeling of excitement while waiting for your date to show up..
"I would love that.. "
Aleksi seemed to be more than pleased with the answer and instead of saying anything, he gently pecked my lips. This went way better than I thought even though for a moment I was sure that my chances with him were gone.
"Great.. Tomorrow?" Aleksi asked while still holding his hands on my shoulders. I would go on a date with him right now, but it would be against the decision of going slow.
"Tomorrow sounds good."
Before Aleksi could say or do anything else, I felt two soft paws leaning against my leg. I looked down and saw Rilla, holding a piece of clothing in between her teeth. Both me and Aleksi started to laugh when we realized that the thing Rilla was holding, was the shirt she refused to give me when I was packing.
"Guess she also welcomes you back.. " Aleksi said and looked at the dog and me in turns. Rilla placed her head on my knee and closed her eyes, giving just one more reason to love her.
"Thanks.. " I smiled at both of them.
The rest of the evening was carried on by me telling about the journey. Aleksi showed me some pictures about Niko's and Miryam's engagement party which I missed and I felt so bad because of it. They looked so happy and I could already see a small baby bump starting to show as well. Maybe that could be something I will also get to experience someday... It was way too early to think about it though, but I will not close that opportunity this time like I did with Rauli.
"So you're sure you don't want to spend the night here.. ?" Aleksi asked while leaning against the wall, watching as I pulled on my jacket. It was getting way too late and I was getting tired because of the long day. So much had happened during these past few hours that it sort of sucked out all my energy.
"It's not that I don't want to.. " I looked at him and stepped closer to his body. I took Aleksi by his hands and let him pull me into a warm hug. All the memories from that one night came to my mind, reminding me how sweet this guy actually was.
"I know.. " He whispered into my hair. I inhaled his aroma and pulled away, not letting go of his hands.
"I'm glad you're back, Iiris.. I missed you so fucking much the whole time.. " His eyes were locked with mine and my heart was literally melting in his hands right now. Hearing him saying that felt so good, especially because I never heard Rauli saying things like that. Aleksi made me feel worthy.
"I promise I won't leave you again.. I mean I do go now but.. We'll see tomorrow, right?"
"At five. I'll pick you up then." He leaned closer to my lips, landing them on mine so softly. Good shivers run through my spine and I wish I could stay here the whole night but I had to go.
"I'll be waiting." I smiled at him after pulling away from the kiss. We said byes and I stepped out, making my way towards the taxi which was waiting for me. Most of the way to the taxi I kept on turning around, waving to Aleksi like a little girl who just had met his idol. The little girl in me was so excited because of tomorrow that the giggles were escaping my lips more than once.
And my smile had no end while driving to my AirBnB. There was nothing else on this planet I wanted to feel more than Aleksi's lips on mine again. They felt just as perfect as I knew they were and the fact that he was still willing to try this thing with me made me feel so alive after everything that had happened. Now, I don't know what there was in me that made him wait until I came back, that he was willing to forgive me for what I did to him, but I was ready to open my heart to him. If all those things did not prove to me that Aleksi was nothing like Rauli then I don't know what needed to happen. He was perfect. He was everything a woman would need and I knew I could not fuck this up anymore. I almost did that already..
When I finally got to my AirBnB, I crashed on the bed and stared at the ceilings. All these feelings Aleksi made me feel, felt so nice and warm. I was able to feel things that I had forgotten because Rauli used to beat them out of me. He made me emotionless. He made me feel like I was not worth anything but Aleksi was doing the complete opposite. He made me feel like I still deserved to feel love. With these thoughts I sat up and started to strip off my clothes. The day had been extremely long and I was so tired, but the events from tonight made it hard to fall asleep. I kept tossing around, thinking about what Aleksi was going to plan for us tomorrow and what were going to be the other's reactions once they found out that I am back and that Aleksi and I are having something going on. On one hand, I wanted to text the girls and meet up with them once they were all back in Helsinki, but I did not want to ruin their time with their men because the vacations are the rare moments they get to be alone with them. It would be sort of selfish of me to interrupt their alone time with some news splash, so instead of texting to any of the girls, I scrolled through my social media and ended up reading some job advertisements.
I needed to find a job as quickly as possible. Of course I could just write to my old boss and ask if she knew if any other youth center needed help but a small part of me wanted to avoid all the old contacts I had. If I wanted a fresh start then I should cut out all the people from the past, that way it would be easier for me to actually move on. Sure there was always a chance to run up into someone but that would be a different situation. I can avoid contacting them but I cannot hide from them. Same goes with Rauli and Susanne. Helsinki was a big city but I cannot control their goings. There is always a possibility of accidentally seeing them but I can avoid going to those places where I know they usually go. At least I won't be going to those places alone. Although I had let go of the memories I had with him, there were things that would still probably hunt me the rest of my life and I have to learn to live with them. Right now the most important thing for me is to focus on me and Aleksi and see if there could be something more serious between us. The feelings seem to be mutual and even thinking about the guy makes me giggle. I needed it so badly. I needed to feel that someone cared and wanted the same things as I. There was nothing else I wanted more than to just feel special to someone and create good memories together. Maybe those things would help me to erase the last traces of Rauli for good.
At some point of the night I had fell asleep. Not sure when but I definitely slept better than I had in a long time. It could be because I got things sorted out with Aleksi and it all turned out way better than I expected. I sat up while stretching my arms to the sides and then up, and I took a moment before standing up from the bed. My phone was on the floor next to the bed so I reached down to pick it up. The digits on the screen told me that it was already half past twelve and that someone had written me a message. I unlocked the screen and smiled as I saw that the author of the message was Aleksi.
Aleksi: This might sound so cheesy but I actually slept so much better knowing that you're back..
My cheeks heated up a little while thinking what to answer.
Iiris: I slept so much better too after seeing you again.
I put the phone aside and dragged myself to shower. There was not too many hours left until Aleksi would pick me up, but since I had nothing to do or no place to go while waiting, I just decided to take as much time in the shower as I thought I would need and focus on getting myself ready.
A/N: Took me freaking eternity... Sorry for that..But.. I guess this story is coming to its end soon. Hopefully the date goes well :)