STAMP OF APPROVAL - a selection story

with you, i'm home

C H A R L O T T E

written by animationchic/aOK706

round thirteen ||

May 9th

8:23 am

I take my time heading to the lesson room. This feels like too much too soon. I just met these guys in January and now I'm just down to five. How did it go so fast?

And now I'm taking the next step.

My father and I always discussed that when I get near to the end, I need to travel to them. See their homes, what they're like in their natural environment, get to know them in their most comfortable setting. And now I'm at five. I guess it's time.

"Charlotte, I hear you have exciting news for our young men?" Uncle Phillip greets me at the door, obviously having discussed this with my father before I even had. I give him a smile and die a little inside as he yields me the floor.

I stand in front of the men, the five men left. It seems like just yesterday there were 35 men and now... It's almost the end of this. I glance between each of them, searching for support and I don't know what else.

"Charlotte, what's going on?" Ambrose asks from the front table, shifting like he's about to stand, like he's about to come to me. As much as I want his comfort, I need to just tell them. Really, I don't know why I'm freaking out. This is good, right? Right? These men are good, these men are right. I just need to make that final decision, and this is going to help me do that. So why am I so nervous?

"Sorry." I shake myself out of my internal rambling and look at each of them and force another smile. "You're all going home."

Silence. Dead silence greets me.

It takes me a moment to realize what I did. As each of their faces begin to fall, to pale in confusion and worry I rush to add, "And I'm coming with you!"

"Sorry, but what?" Quentin asks as he pinches the bridge of his nose in confusion.

"Right, I'm sorry." I sigh and deflate a little. I hold in a chuckle as I look around at the pure confusion in this room. I take a deep breath. "As amazing as it has been having all of you here, it's time that I see you in your hometowns. Meet more of your friends and family. See what you do in your normal life, what you're like. And also spend some more relaxed time together, but on your turf, not mine. Basically, you guys are in charge."

"When is this happening?" Ambrose asks and I smile at the ever-practical man.

"Starting next week. My father and I finalized the schedule just this morning. The only thing that has to happen in each hometown is we have to have dinner with each of your ambassadors. After that, it's pretty much up to you guys what you want to do," I explain and smile as Audrey strides in the room handing me a thick folder and my phone. "Thanks Audrey, I was just telling the guys about the next five weeks."

"Five weeks?" Levi asks, his eyebrows raising.

I flush. "Sorry, I don't think I'm doing the best at explaining. Yes, I will be spending five days in each hometown, arriving each Monday and leaving each Friday. Some weekends, I'll come home, others I will be spending away and relaxing. You will be spending the entire time home, coming back at the end of the five weeks."

"This sounds really fun, I have so many ideas already." Xander smiles at me from his table and I can't help but smile back.

I pass out a sheet of paper to each guy. "This is the schedule my father and I came up with. I hope these work for everyone. Also, I will need to know if I need to make arrangements with hotels in each town."

I say this last bit without meeting anyone's eyes and a flush on my face. Because the alternative is staying with them. In their homes.

I know they've been staying with me in my home since day one, but this somehow feels different. This feels more intimate. I want that time with them, but it just feels... different.

"So we have to have dinner with the ambassadors?" Bowie asks, almost looking disappointed and I share his pain. The St. George ambassador is especially old and boring.

"Yeah, it's like a goodwill thing. Whenever we visit a province, we are not required, but expected to visit with the ambassador," I explain, twisting my mouth into a sympathetic frown.

"It's part of the job, gentlemen," Uncle Phillip tells the men meaningfully and I nod, reaffirming his words.

"Any questions?" I ask them, hoping now they understand what we're going for. They all shake their heads and I think that's a good sign.

After talking to them, I'm excited. This will be good for them, I think, and for me too.

I just hope they're excited as well.

May 14th

6:35 pm

I walk the quiet halls and it hits me how empty my home feels now. When all the men were here, it felt full, bursting at the seams. Now I'm down to just five men standing. The halls almost feel hollow without all of their voices floating through them. It used to be I could barely turn a corner without running into one or two of the Selected men. I even had to go to the cabin to escape them all. Now, they've all gone home and suddenly the palace feels too large.

Maybe it was always too large to begin with.

I shake my head at the thoughts and continue on my way to my room. I need to pack. Well, Madeline and I need to pack, but really, I have no idea how to pack for the next five weeks. Luckily in between a few of them, I'm coming home. I can refresh my wardrobe a few times, but I have no idea what the men are going to plan for my visits to their home. How will I know how to dress?

I worry at my lower lip when Bard comes around the corner ahead. At least there's still one guy still here for me to run into randomly in the halls.

"You ready?" Bard asks, his stance easy as he slips his hands in his pockets. I just shake my head, being honest with my friend for the first time in a while. Bard frowns. "Charlotte, what's wrong?"

"What if it doesn't work, what if this destroys everything?" I ask him, feeling more nervous for this than I ever thought I would.

I don't know why the home visits are so important to me. Probably because my father has put so much weight on them, and insisted they happen so soon. It feels insane to be at this point after only five months of knowing these guys. It feels insane to be seriously considering marrying one of these men after only five months. Five months. That's such a short amount of time. It's only been 127 days since I first met them all and now there's only five left. One left standing for every month I've known them.

Did I go too fast? Did I already screw this up?

"Hey, get out of your head." Bard reaches out and holds my shoulders, grounding me. He ducks his head to look me in the eye. "Relax. I think this is a good thing. Coming here, being in this environment, it only makes sense that the men might have changed a bit, that they might be different here compared to how they are at home. Besides this way, you get to see them relaxed. Just... pay attention to how they treat you in their home environments. And how they treat the other women in their lives."

"What do you mean?" I ask him, a small smile on my lips. I may have heard that these trips were a good thing over and over, but hearing it from Bard, it almost means more. It means even more that he will be there for some of them.

"I mean, pay attention to how they treat the other women in their lives. Their mom, their neighbor, their boss, whoever. It's a sign of how they'll treat you," Bard tells me and my heart swells. I'm so lucky to have him as a friend.

"Thanks Bard," I say as I pull him into a hug. "And thank you for coming along with me and Chatham."

"Someone's gotta have your back." I can feel Bard's smile as he hugs me back. When he pulls away though, he looks much more serious. "And I will always have your back."

"I know." I nod, my own face as serious as his. "And I will always return the favor."

He gives me a half smile. "I know."

May 16th

6:38 pm

I step off the jet and am so relieved to finally be up and moving around. I was so nervous flying out here, but now that I'm here, I'm almost more nervous. But when I take the last step, he's there, waiting.

"Charlotte," Ambrose says softly as he wraps his arms around me and I can't help but smile. I wasn't expecting him to meet me at the airport, but I am so so happy he did. Eight hours in the air has made me restless and I am so relieved to finally just be here.

"Finally," I complain, stretching once he lets me go.

"Don't get too comfortable, we still have an hour drive into Halifax." Ambrose chuckles and takes my carry-on bag from Bard. It's a move that surprises both Bard and I as Bard was moving towards Chatham who'd come ahead to arrange everything. Bard and Chatham both shrug and soon, Ambrose is leading me off the tarmac, rolling my carry-on bag towards the waiting car.

"Yes, why is the airport an hour away from such a major airport like Halifax?" I ask Ambrose as he surprises me once again and laces our fingers together as we walk.

"Halifax didn't want the air traffic," Ambrose tells me seriously and when I narrow my eyes at him and grins. "Halifax tends to be overcast a lot. So they moved the airport more inland."

"Makes sense." I nod my understanding though I don't really, not yet. I've never been to Halifax before. Portland and Augusta, sure, but I've never been this far north in Hansport.

Ambrose opens my car door for me and I almost groan at the thought of being cooped in the car for another hour. I've already spent the entire day in the plane, now I have to spend an hour in the car. At least for this, Ambrose is with me.

—

I don't know what I was expecting. I really don't, but I know I wasn't expecting to be handed an itinerary from Ambrose as soon as I settled in the car. I scan over it now in the larger of the two guest rooms in Ambrose's high-rise apartment and it strikes me how quiet this place is. I can't even hear Ambrose as he moves around the apartment.

I sigh and set aside the itinerary and turn to my bags. Time to get unpacked and according to the schedule, get ready for a late dinner with Mr. and Mrs. Russi. I'm kind of nervous, I won't lie. They didn't come to my parent's anniversary ball, when most of the other Selected's parents visited. No, then it was all Ambrose's work friends. Come to think of it, Ambrose doesn't talk about his parents much at all and that makes me even more nervous.

Maybe they just don't like flying, or travel in general. Some people are like that. They hate traveling and being away from home. But I would have thought that most people would jump at the chance to visit their son after him not being home for months. The more I think about it, the more odd it feels. But then again, I don't know these people. Maybe, soon, I'll have my answers. I just hope this dinner goes well.

—

Turns out I should be worried. I shift in my seat uncomfortable as Mrs. Russi's eyes cut to me once more. She clearly thinks I shouldn't be drinking wine, nevermind that she's on her third glass. She clearly thinks I should have only ordered a salad, nevermind that I haven't eaten since breakfast this morning. She clearly thinks I'm not good enough for her son, nevermind that I'm the crown princess and he seems happy enough... I think.

It's actually hard to tell with Ambrose sometimes, especially now. When we're alone he's calm and relaxed. In control but also not controlling. He's funny and sweet and we always seem to have fun.

But sometimes he feels a tad distant. Like it's still a facade. I'm really hoping this home visit will show me more of who Ambrose is.

If I can just get through this dinner.

I shift once more and once again Mrs. Russi's eyes cut to me. Her husband continues to drone on about something or another but Mrs. Russi or I are listening. I'm not even sure if Ambrose is fully listening.

"So when you become queen, what exactly will my son be considered?" Mrs. Russi, yes she insists I call her 'Mrs. Russi', cuts her husband off mid sentence. She leans forward aggressively and eyes me up and down.

"Well, technically he would be considered the Prince Regent, but—"

"Even though he married you? And you're queen?" she asks me, cutting me off.

Ambrose shifts now and looks towards me. I swallow and do my best to explain, "Well, it's actually quite misogynistic in the way it's ordered but as it stands, the highest position is King, but as he will join the family by marriage—"

"So you don't think my son deserves to be considered King?" she cuts me off and this time Ambrose speaks up.

"Mom, that's not how it works." He places a hand on mine and squeezes once before taking it away once more.

"I don't care how it works, I want to know Charlotte's opinion," Mrs. Russi snaps but when she looks at her son she softens. "I'm sorry, baby, I just think it's unfair. I mean, you might marry her. You would then deserve the title of King."

"Unfortunately you have to be born into the family to carry that title," I try once more to explain.

"But you can change that," she insists. "For my son, you could change that. If you wanted to."

I look between her and her son, unsure what to say and completely uncomfortable. Somehow I feel like, with Mrs. Russi, I'm failing some kind of test.

May 17th

12:15 pm

Ambrose hasn't stopped smiling at me all day and I can't lie, it's kind of nice. We started the morning off slow, just breakfast and coffee at a small diner around the corner from Ambrose's apartment. I could tell it was his usual morning haunt because the waitress knew his order by heart and gave him a hard time about bringing a girl around. It had been nice having someone so familiar with Ambrose seem happy to see him and actually not hate me.

I hadn't known what to expect when the itinerary had read "tourist things" but I trusted Ambrose, and I had been right to do that. He took me down to the Halifax Boardwalk. I hadn't known what to expect, but the environment I walked into was so, so cool. Small shops line the boardwalk, ranging from everything from clothing boutiques to small bookstores to craft breweries. As soon as I see them, I know I want to go into everything.

And Ambrose lets me.

I don't buy something in every store, but I do pick up more than I intend to by the time lunch time rolls around.

"Come on, I want you to try the regional specialty," Ambrose says, shifting three of my bags he's carrying for me and taking me by the hand.

I flush in delight as he leads me to a little mom and pop lunch spot. 'Danny's Donairs' the sign reads and I get excited. I spent the last week doing a little research on each home city and one thing Halifax is known for is their donairs.

I bit my lip and look up at Ambrose to ask, "Is it weird that I'm excited for a sandwich?"

"No, you should be excited." He chuckles as he drops my hand to hold open the door for me. "These are the best donairs in the province."

"Well then, I trust you," I tell Ambrose. He smiles as leads me to a table right in the front of the shop, overlooking the rest of the boardwalk and the shore. He pulls out a chair for me and puts my bags down next to me.

"Well then, rest up and I'll be back with our food," Ambrose says and I settle into the chair.

And then he surprises me. Just when I'm expecting him to pull away and go to the counter to order, he leans and presses a kiss to my temple.

It takes me completely by surprise.

I'm not sure why, really. In the Selection, Ambrose has always been one of the more touchy-feely types than some of the others. But so far, since I came to his home, Ambrose has been really hands-off. In the palace, he was always reaching out to me, asking me for contact whether it was holding my hand or a hand at the small of my back. He was my first kiss and through the last few weeks, Ambrose has always been touching me. But since I've been at the apartment, it's been the complete opposite.

So when he kisses me, I'm surprised. And pleased. And it makes me feel special for the first time in days.

I just hope it lasts.

May 20th

6:47 pm

This week has been a complete roller coaster. I don't know what I was expecting from my time visiting Ambrose in his hometown, but what I got was both good and bad.

Overall, I had expected to grow closer to Ambrose. I thought we would be able to use this time to get to know each other on a deeper level. I thought that I would get to really know his ins and outs... but I don't feel like I learned anything new. The Ambrose I knew in the palace, the one who was polite and a complete gentleman, that was who I visited this week. I think the biggest disconnect for me is the difference inside the house as outside the house and as I sit across from Ambrose on our last night, it's just as clear as it was yesterday.

Everytime we're out and about, Ambrose really puts on the charm. He's doting and love-y and just overall very much a boyfriend. At dinner with the ambassador he made sure to act like the perfect gentleman I know my uncle would be proud of. Then we had dinner with his bosses and I couldn't help but feel like one of the other trophy wives as Ambrose sat around the table and mostly discussed work. It was weird, I'm not used to being outside of the main discussion, but still, Ambrose was attentive. He would take my hand throughout dinner, squeezing it, letting me know he was there. And then last night, as soon as his friends walked through the door, Ambrose really played up the boyfriend act, again nothing but attentive.

But as soon as we're home or alone, he becomes much more distant. It's like he's playing a part and I can't help but be a little confused by it all.

Now, we sit here at a bit of a late dinner, in front of the main window of Affinité, Halifax's nicest restaurant and it really feels so different than when we were at his apartment just forty minutes ago. There, he sat and just waited, patiently reading the daily paper while I got ready. Once I was, he just led the way out. Didn't help me with my coat, didn't take my hand, didn't help me into the car. Nothing. When we arrived though...

As soon as we arrived, he was helping me out of the car. He took my hand and blocked the number of paparazzi helping me get through the crowd. And when we were getting seated he made sure not only to help me with my coat but to also help me with my chair and that I was settled before sitting down himself. He even grumbled about being seated in the window, where the paparazzi were still able to get photos of us to the maitre d'. We didn't change tables, but at least he complained for me.

I think the weirdest thing though is that even though he's sitting here, looking at me like he's already in love with me and holding my hand, he's barely said a word to me all night. It's been an inconsistency I can't help but notice. And I don't know what to do about it. So I do what any girl does on an awkward date.

"Excuse me, I'll be right back," I say as I start to move back from the table.

Ambrose, naturally, rushes to help me with my chair and I can feel his eyes on my back as I walk away.

"Hello?" Wynnie's voice is tinny when she finally picks up the phone and I exhale a relieved breath.

"Wynn, is Henley there? I need both of you," I tell her, speaking quickly but quietly so the bathroom attendant doesn't hear from outside the door.

"Hold on," Wynnie says and I hear her rushing towards the suite where Henley has been staying. I glance around and play with the lotion options on the counter the attendant left behind. I actually feel bad for the poor lady. She'd been so startled when Chatham stormed his way into the bathroom, checking each stall to be sure no one else was in here while Bard waited with me outside. Then she'd yelped when Chatham escorted her out, giving me the room and privacy I needed to place this call.

I have the best guards.

"Okay, she's here," Wynnie tells me and I sigh once more.

"What's up, Charlotte, are you on your way home already?" Henley asks me and I can hear her shifting to check her watch. At least, that's what I'm picturing.

"No, we're at dinner," I explain, my tone still hushed.

"Uh-oh, a call from the restaurant bathroom, never a good sign," Henley says and my stomach clenches. Is this really such a bad sign?

"No, nothing's wrong really, I'm just... confused," I tell them and I can see it in my mind's eye, them glancing at each other.

"Explain," Wynnie demands and I almost chuckle. I love my cousin.

"Okay so, it's almost hard to explain but it's like everytime we're alone, there's a distance. But when we're out in public or around other people, he's so affectionate and sweet," I try to tell them quickly but I'm not sure I'm explaining it right. "Does that make sense?"

"Maybe?" Henley says and something tells me she's not saying something.

"Explain a little more," Wynnie demands again and this time I do chuckle.

"Okay so take this dinner, he's holding my hand, he's helping with my chair, he's looking deeply into my eyes," I start and then I sigh and continue, "But back at his apartment, when we were alone and no one else was around, there was nothing. He didn't take my hand, didn't help me with my coat. You guys, he hasn't even kissed me this entire time."

"Wait, he has you alone in his apartment, and he hasn't kissed you?" Henley gasps and finally I feel like she gets it, even as my cheeks heat in embarrassment.

"No, just small pecks here and there and always around others," I say, thinking about it. The more that I think about it, the more it makes me nervous. What does this mean? How bad is this? "Guys, do you think he's faking?"

"No," they both answer at the same time and I don't know if that makes me feel better or worse.

Henley clears her throat. "No, I think Ambrose genuinely likes you. I just think he's very..."

"He's aware of the optics," Wynnie provides and I squint in confusion even though they can't see me. Wynnie must sense that I'm not understanding because she continues, "Think about it, he's a chief branding officer for his company. He knows what it takes and how to analyze how the public views his company, and now him. Now that doesn't mean he's faking his feelings, he probably also knows how to..."

"Ham it up," Henley provides, probably because Wynnie doesn't even know what that colloquialism means. I can tell Henley is holding the phone now because her voice is much louder. "Look, Charlotte, just talk to him. Ask him. It's Ambrose, I know he has feelings for you. I've talked to him about you, so for real, I know, but you're not going to get anywhere with him if you don't just talk to him. Communication is going to be key. Trust me."

"You've talked to him about me?" I ask, embarrassed and embarrassingly happy.

"Yes, now you should too." Henley sighs and I can tell she's rolling her eyes.

"Okay, thank you," I say, feeling nervous about the thought of talking to Ambrose about this. I mean how do I? I may be princess of the nation but how do I sit across from a Selected and ask if he actually likes me? I don't know if I can do it.

"Of course, just don't chicken out," Henley says and I can hear Wynnie snicker her agreement in the background. How did she know?

"Okay, okay, I gotta go," I tell them as I end the call. I'm glad I called, but somehow, I don't feel any more confident.

—

"Everything okay?" Ambrose asks as he once again helps me with my chair.

I nod, not sure what to say. Yes, I feel like now I understand you a little better, but only after talking to my cousin and best friend? Or no, I thought you'd want more private time with me once we were alone and instead, you've had me out and around people at every possible opportunity? Because really, both are true.

"Yeah," I find myself saying to Ambrose and smiling up at him. "Yeah, everything's all good."

Henley and Wynnie are going to be so upset with me.

May 23rd

7:45 pm

I smile as I look around the small table. Mr. and Mrs. Westwell are everything I imagined and honestly, so is Quentin's childhood home. His mother is the traditional doting mother, clearly loves her son but more than anything is happy that he's happy. And I can't help but love Mr. Westwell's handlebar mustache. Quentin had actually warned me about it before we arrived, clearly finding it embarrassing but now I just want him to grow one.

We got here a little later than we had been wanting, but Mr. and Mrs. Westwell were so excited when we arrived, you never would have known. I had been prepared to apologize and explain and Mrs. Westwell, Lori, just hugged me and told me to hush. Then she ushered me straight to her table and piled my plate full of lasagna, complaining about how skinny I am and blaming it on the horrible plane food. Quentin had just blushed and accepted his own piled high plate.

And it was the best lasagna I've ever had.

Now we're sitting around and Lori and Dave are telling me tons of stories about young Quentin, helped along with the many photo albums piled up around us.

"When we get back to the palace, I demand to see some embarrassing photos from your childhood," Quentin murmurs as I chuckle over yet another photo of a toothless, grinning Quentin holding up a science trophy.

"I don't know that there are any," I tell him honestly as I smile broadly at him.

"Oh nonsense, your mother must have tons of photos of you," Lori swats my words away as she leans over me and turns the page to show me old choir photos of Quentin.

"I don't know." I shrug and I smile down at Quentin's childhood self. He's smiling in every picture, even when I know he was bullied so much in school. "I don't remember us taking many photos. Most of the photos we took were always for the media, so I doubt there's much that is like this."

"Like what?" Quentin asks me softly and when I lock eyes with him, there's only one real answer.

"Real," I say with complete honesty in my heart.

—

"I'm glad you liked them," Quentin says as we walk the three blocks back to his house. It doesn't surprise me that Quentin still lives close to home, not after meeting his parents and spending real time with them. In fact, it doesn't surprise me at all.

"They're great people," I tell him honestly and it warms me when he beams at my words. "I don't think I've ever seen two people more proud of their son."

"Your parents are proud of you," Quentin says softly and when I glance up at him I'm not surprised to see the small furrow in his brow.

I grin, trying to take the tension from the moment. "Not like that." I motion back towards his parent's house even though we're more than a block away. "No, you're clearly the apple of their eye. It's really sweet."

"Well I think they liked you too," Qunetin assures me as he threads his fingers through mine. "You might even replace me as their favorite soon."

"I don't think that could ever happen." I shake my head, chuckling lightly.

"Yeah, the photo albums are a little overboard, huh?" Quentin asks, but I can tell by his tone that he's joking, taking our conversation into a lighter topic, trying to make himself the butt of the joke. Again. He always does that. Takes the brunt to make me more comfortable. Like he's used to being the one picked on and is trying to spare me that experience. Like he's protecting me.

It makes me appreciate him even more.

"No, I loved them," I tell him honestly, smiling up at him.

He doesn't say anything, just smiles down at me as he pulls me closer to him by the hand. He still says nothing as he drops my hand and instead wraps an arm around me and I can't help it, my heart skips a small beat. The way he's looking at me... I don't know. There's an intensity there where usually there is a smile. There's an emotion, a delight and the longer he looks at me like that, the more I can picture myself fitting into his life, and he into mine.

I definitely like the thought.

May 26th

11:23 am

"I'm sorry, I don't know why they're insisting I come in today," Quentin apologizes to me for the fourth time and I can't help but shake my head at him. I don't know how many times he's apologized. I also don't know how many times I've told him it's fine.

It's more than fine. I want to see where he works. I want to meet some of his students and coworkers. I want to see his daily life, not just the highlights of his hometown, as fun as those have been. I want to know the real Quentin, all of Quentin.

So I'm not disappointed that our trip to the museums got interrupted before it even began. I'm not disappointed to be a Livingston Middle School. I'm not disappointed in seeing another snippet of who Quentin is outside of the palace.

This week so far has been really good for that.

I can't help but compare Quentin and Ambrose in these moments. When my father suggested I do home visits with the top five men, I wasn't so sure. I'd thought that the guys were all being themselves around me and surely I know them by now. I'd thought that I wouldn't learn much more about them, just be able to spend more time with them individually. And for the most part, that had held true with Ambrose.

That's what I had learned last week. Being around Ambrose in his own environment, it was no different than being around Ambrose in my home environment. I learned that he takes everything in stride and remembers to think about the optics of how everything looks. And that's not a bad thing.

No, in fact, it's almost good.

Ambrose remembering to look at how any action will be perceived by the media allowed me to almost forget the media existed, at least for that limited amount of time. It doesn't mean he doesn't like me or anything. It only means that he sees the whole scope of what the Selection might mean in the end. He's being smart about it. At least that is the conclusion I had come to by the end of our last dinner.

But Quentin is different.

Now that we're away from the other guys he seems so much more open and relaxed around me. I notice he laughs more and is much more ready to pull out some off the wall science facts just to amuse me. He likes to hold my hand when we walk and when we just sit to relax, he always wants to be by my side.

Like last night after we got back from having dinner at Quentin's favorite hole in the wall restaurant, we just cuddled up on the couch and each read a book. But instead of sitting across the room from me, like I'd been expecting, like what Ambrose did countless times last week, Quentin plopped himself into the awkward middle couch seat. Just so he could pull my legs up and over his so he could idly trace patterns along my calves.

I never thought about small things like that. How much courage it can take or how comforting it can be just to have someone pay that kind of attention to me. It's really nice, but sometimes it can almost feel forced.

Like right now for example.

We're just walking six feet into the middle school and still, Quentin insists on holding hands. At this point I'm not sure if it's a territorial thing or if he thinks I might get lost.

I shouldn't think like that. I'm sure he's just being sweet. It just feels like I don't know what I want. Not really. And that scares me more than anything.

I bat those thoughts away as Quentin holds the first of two doors open for me. I'm just turning to smile at him when a loud chorus of "Surprise!" rings out all around me. I startle, letting out a small yelp as I jump and spin finding what feels like an entire school's worth of kids all standing there, holding signs and screaming. All around me welcome signs wave, kids scream, cheering as they throw confetti at me.

It's the sweetest and most terrifying welcome I've ever seen.

"Did you know about this?" I ask Quentin, turning to him and motioning to the kids behind me.

"No." He chuckles and looks around at everyone in complete awe. "No, I had no idea what is happening right now."

"Princess Charlotte, Mr. Westwell," a man's voice booms through the crowd. It's not hard to find him since he's practically twice the size of every kid there and he has a megaphone. He steps forward and kids seem to part around him. He's a balding man, clearly doing well in the money and food departments and his grin is almost possessive. "Welcome to our very first field day! In your honor!"

"What exactly is a field day?" I ask Quentin, my tone low as I continue to smile and wave at all the kids.

"I have no idea," Quentin murmurs back as his students rush him, excited to have what seems to be their favorite teacher back. In between hugs and fist bumps, he turns to me, "I don't think Mr. Henski does either."

"Well, this should be interesting," I tell him, trying to keep calm as kids take Quentin giving his students a hug as permission to rush forward and hug me. I chuckle. "Okay, okay, one at a time."

"Princess Charlotte?" One little girl, I think a kindergartener, pulls at my skirt. I squat to see eye to eye with her. Once I reach out and shake her hand she continues with her question, "Are you a real princess?"

I can't help but chuckle. "Yes, yes I am."

"But where's your crown?!" she cries and I can tell she's really distressed about my lack of crown.

"I left it at home," I explain to her. "It's only for special days when I have to get completely dressed up."

"But I wanted to see it," she whines and I chuckle again as I sit cross legged in front of her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know," I tell her honestly. I feel bad as she walks away from me a little sadder. I look up at Quentin frowning. Just as he opens his mouth to help me, Mr. Henski cuts him off.

"Okay students, let's head to the gym." Mr. Henski throws his arms out wide, motioning to the gym behind him. I watch as kids squeal and scramble and I'm grateful when Quentin reaches down and helps me up. Otherwise I think more than a few of them would have run me over.

"I'm sorry about this," Quentin murmurs as he pulls me close to him. "I had no idea he would even do this. He hates big group activities. He says there's too many of them and if we get them all together, they'll completely outnumber us."

"Don't they already?" I ask him and he chuckles.

"Yes, but a group of them? A whole new kind of outnumber." Quentin chuckles as he starts to lead me towards the gym as well.

"I don't think I'm ready for this," I tell him honestly.

"That's why you've got me." Quentin's smile grows.

I might still be a bit tense, but something about Quentin's words work. I relax and remember these kids are still people. Just smaller, happier people. I can do this. And when I falter, I've got Quentin.

I hope that's enough.

May 28th

4:47 pm

"So how have your weeks been?" Wynnie asks as she lays back against my pillows.

I groan as I join her, relishing being back in my own bed even if it's only for a couple of nights. I turn my head towards my cousin and sigh. "They've been fine."

"Oh come on, just fine?" Wynnie asks, looking at me now and I can feel the worry in her voice.

"No, some of it was really nice," I admit and sigh. "A lot of it was. I'm just tired."

"Three more weeks," Wynnie reminds me and something clenches in my stomach at the reminder. She glances at me. "Unless you think you already know?"

"Know what?" I ask her with a yawn.

"Who you're going to pick, who's your one?" Wynnie asks almost hopefully and I can't help but wonder if Ambrose or Quentin is her favorite.

"No, stop, no," I tell her adamantly. I shake my head and turn to pull a pillow out to hit her in the face. "No, I don't know who I'm going to pick. I've only spent time with two of them."

"And you're missing the other three?" Wynnie asks me, obviously looking for information. "Maybe one more than the others?"

"Okay Wynn, who's your favorite? Just tell me already! I'm tired of these little hints," I tell her, rolling to look at her.

"My favorite is whoever makes you the most happy," Wynnie tells me and for the first time I believe her. "So," she says, hinting at something once more. "The question is, who makes you happiest?"

I pause, thinking about that for a moment. Who is it that makes me the happiest? Who is it that I'm most excited to see or saddest I had to leave? I think I know, but there's still so much time to go.

But still, there's one guy I can't help but think of everytime someone asks me these kinds of questions.

I just hope it all works out.

May 31st

1:41 pm

"It was such a pleasure to see you again, Your Highness," Zacharias Forge, the ambassador of St. George, groans as we walk slowly, very slowly to the front of the restaurant.

I can feel Bowie's restlessness behind me and I smile back at him, encouraging him to be patient. To be fair, we got to lunch at eleven. And Zacharias Forge likes the sound of his own voice. A lot. So I really can't blame Bowie for being ready to get out of here. I am too.

But this is part of the job.

"It's a pleasure to see you again too," I tell Forge and the grin that lights up his face reminds me of a grandfather seeing his granddaughter.

"I must say, princess," Forge says, his voice warbling. "You have grown into such a lovely young lady. I remember when you were running around these meetings with your father in pigtails."

"Zacharias, you know I've never worn pigtails," I remind him, a smile on my face. "That was most definitely my sister."

"Hmmm, maybe it was," Forge says and for a moment I feel bad for him. He used to be sharp as a tack, now, he seems to be forgetting more and more. He forgot Bowie's name three times during lunch and called me Helena twice. I might have to talk to my father about this when I'm home next. Forge turns back to me. "Well anyways princess, send your father my best. Now I will let you two go do what young couples in love do. Welcome to St. George princess."

"Thank you, Ambassador Forge," I say as I lean over and kiss the old man on the cheek even as my own turn a bit red.

Bowie and I stand on the sidewalk as we watch the ambassador leave. When the car finally pulls off, Bowie releases an exasperated breath. "I thought that would never end."

"I know," I tell him, kind of amused. "I could feel your energy bouncing around the room."

"I can't help it, I'm excited." Bowie grins down at me.

"Excited for what?" I ask him, looking up at him.

"You'll see." Bowie's grin is excited and teasing. Like a little kid who has a big surprise for his favorite person in the world. "You'll just have to wait and see."

—

"Camping?" I ask Bowie looking at the pile of equipment sitting at the door of Bowie's apartment. "You're taking me camping?"

"I am." Bowie looks so pleased with himself that I have to hold back my worry. I've never been camping before. Not real camping. Not the kind of camping I think Bowie wants me to go on. He must see the panic in my eyes though because he rushes to continue, "It's going to be so fun. You'll see, you're going to love it."

I chuckle, worried still but wanting to believe him. "Um... okay... Let's go camping."

June 2nd

6:33 pm

I hate camping.

I'm sorry but I hate camping so much. I hate the bugs, I hate sleeping on the ground, I hate not having a real bathroom. I miss an actual shower and a real pillow and to be honest, I miss hot coffee that doesn't suck.

Bowie is a lot of things, but a barista he is not. What he is though, is so completely and utterly happy.

I hadn't been expecting Bowie to want to leave right away, but I hadn't exactly packed camping clothes. So that's what we did after lunch with Zacharias Forge. We went shopping for a completely new, and a very... functional wardrobe. Bright and early the next day we'd set out and hiked for so long, I think my legs almost fell off.

I've learned a lot. Like how cold it can get at night and how embarrassing it is to not have a toilet. I've also learned how pretty the stars are without the light pollution of the city or the palace and how relaxing a midnight fire can be. I think I've also learned that Bowie doesn't belong in the palace.

He's just so much happier out here. I've never seen him like this. He's so excited to show me everything, every aspect of this whole adventure.

And I really could care less.

"Well, Charlotte, are you glad we came out here?" Bowie asks from his camping chair and I can hear both Bard and Chatham shift in their own.

They know. They know how little I'm liking this. Chatham even talked to me about it yesterday when we were down by the river getting more water.

"Yeah, I really am," I tell him, stretching the truth just a bit. "But Bowie, I think we need to talk."

"I think we need more firewood," Bard says, suddenly standing.

"Yeah, I think I'll help you with that," Chatham says, joining him as they both rush for the tree line.

"Thanks guys," I murmur under my breath and I move closer to Bowie.

"This doesn't sound good," Bowie groans as he looks glumly into the fire.

"It's not," I tell him honestly and he turns to me, concerned. "No, Bowie, listen. You're not meant to be in the palace. You're meant to be out here, it's where you belong."

"No, Charlotte, the palace is fine," Bowie tries and I admire his effort, I do.

I smile sadly at him. "But it's not here. And you'll never get this." I motion to the very little around us. "At the palace. You won't have time. You won't be able to just get away whenever you want and be out here. You'll have to be in a suit most days and you won't be able to get your hands dirty. Bowie, it's just not right for you. I know that, and I'm sorry. But—"

"No, you're right." Bowie nods and he takes my hand. "But I really like you, Charlotte, I really do. You're so amazing and I think we could be good together, but you're right. This would be a lot to give up."

"I do think I know something that would be a good fit for you," I tell him, getting excited once more.

"Yeah?" he asks, curious and I grin.

"Yeah, I actually have this friend on the Green Council that I think you'd get along really well with," I tell him honestly, getting excited for his future.

As sad as it is to let him go now, this far along into the Selection, I know it's right. He would never really be happy in the palace. He needs open skies and quiet nights. Unfortunately those are very rare in the palace. But on the Green Council, I think he could make a lot of connections and hopefully help change the nation. I look forward to working with him in the future and for that, I can't find myself regretting keeping him around this long.

Besides, I like Bowie. But I'm not sure it could ever lead to love.

Not like I can see happening with the others... One down, four left.

June 7th

5:40 pm

"I'm sure he'll be any minute," I tell Ambassador Franklin for the third time. I glare at Bard, silently pleading with him to find Xander, please for the love that is all things, find Xander but the helpless look he gives me is as useless as I feel.

"Yes, I'm sure," Hugo Franklin replies but I can tell he's annoyed. Dinner was supposed to be forty minutes ago but so far, there's been no Xander. Not even a message. Chatham went out looking for him but so far, none of us have heard of him. It worries me.

I last saw Xander three hours ago when he dropped me off at the hotel at my hotel room. All day, he was talking about a project he got as soon as he came home and he was so excited to show me after work. But that's it. When he dropped me off, he seemed fine but now, just nothing.

"Can I get you another glass of water?" the waitress asks as she circles back around for the third time.

I can tell that she feels bad for me and is getting nervous about keeping a table tied up for so long. I glance up at Bard and he shakes his head and my heart falls a bit. But for a royal, the show must go on. So I force on my happiest smile and look up at the waitress. "Actually, if you're ready, Ambassador and Mrs. Franklin, I think I'm ready to order."

"Are you sure? We can wait a little longer," Leah offers, concern in her eyes. She feels bad for me. Hugo feels bad for me. I don't want them feeling bad for me. But it's too late. All I can do is try to salvage this dinner.

I start to answer and then Bard steps forward and whispers in my ear, faking a phone call in the other. It's nonsense really, but the excuse I need. I sag in relief and turn back to my dinner company, looking sad but no longer concerned. "I'm sorry. I feel so bad about this, I completely forgot that Xander had been complaining of a migraine earlier today and it seems it just took over him. He got really sick and is still dealing with that."

"Oh no, migraines are the worst," Leah sympathizes and I nod. I can't tell if either she or Hugo are buying it, but at least for now, they're letting me move on.

"They really are. Again, I am so sorry for forgetting and worrying you. He sends his regrets, I know how much he was looking forward to meeting both of you," I tell the ambassador and his wife, lying through my teeth. I turn back to the waitress. "I'm so sorry about this but I think it'll just be the three of us."

"Oh no problem." She smiles and picks up the extra menu. Then she turns to the rest of the table. "Now what can I get you all?"

—

That was a disaster and I can't help but fume as I watch as the ambassador and his wife drive off. The looks of pity never actually left their faces through the whole dinner and I think that's what really dug at me the most. Once they're out of sight I turn to Bard.

"Where is he?" I seethe and I don't think I've ever been this angry or hurt.

"Chatham finally found him," Bard assures me, checking his phone.

"Where?" I ask him, angrier than before.

"His studio," Bard tells me and he looks at me like he knows exactly how I feel. Now that I think about it, he might. I've never seen Bard look so angry. All through dinner, anytime I looked up from my salad, he was glowering there in the corner. I saw as he got the text from Chatham. I watched as he got even angrier.

"I didn't realize he had a studio," I tell Bard, my voice tight, ready for Chatham to get back with the car.

"Neither did we. Chatham had to question his mother to get the address out of her," Bard tells me and I sigh.

"You make it sound like he tortured her," I tell him, relieved when I see the car with the flags on the front heading our way.

"No, but he did have to ask her over and over for twenty minutes until finally his father told him," Bard grumbles as he opens the door for me.

"Sounds awful," I tell him and turn to Chatham. "Take me to him."

"Not tonight," Chatham shakes his head at me and I feel a flare of anger towards him. He must see it in my eyes because he just shakes his head. "No, sleep tonight. Wait until tomorrow when you calm down."

"Please, I just want to talk to him," I tell Chatham and Bard. "Please?"

—

Chatham was right. I shouldn't have come here. I glance around at the workshop. Clothing item after clothing item fills the whole area and scraps of fabric cover every surface. Xander doesn't even hear us when we enter but he does notice when I stand behind him, casting a shadow over the design he's currently working on.

"Oh, Charlotte." Xander blinks up at me like he hasn't seen an actual human in days, let alone a few hours ago. It takes him a minute and then he takes me in, my dinner dress, my nice heels. He blinks again. "You look nice, but I thought I was meeting you at the restaurant."

"Yeah, you were supposed to," I say, holding up the bag of food I ordered for him since he was "sick".

Xander gasps and turns, frantically looking at the clock on the wall. He reads the time and looks back at me, his eyes wide. "Crap, Charlotte, I am so sorry. I lost all track of time."

"Xander, you just left me there like an idiot." I sigh, more sad now than angry. "I didn't even have a way to contact you."

"I'm so sorry, I really didn't mean to do that to you." Xander stands coming towards me. "I just got caught up in my work and I swear I just sat down."

I stand there for a minute, staring at him, hurt and disappointed. How could he just stand me up like that and not even realize how long he's been here. Then again, didn't I just do that a few weeks ago to Abri? If there's one thing I can understand it's getting a little too caught up in work and forgetting everything else. I'm just not used to being on the receiving end of it.

It hurts and now I feel even worse for every other person I've ever made feel like this.

I sigh and hold out the bag once more. "I got you a burger. And truffle fries." Xander's smile is relieved as he takes the bag from me and takes it back to the work bench, gingerly moving the piece he's working on but I stop him. "Show me what you're working on?"

Xander's grin grows even more as he holds the piece up in front of him. "It's a continuation of the pieces I worked on at the palace. But I'm playing around with different textures and silhouettes."

I smile and watch him as he goes on and on about the pieces he's been working on ever since getting back home. Apparently he'd been contacted by several designers and asked to make a small collection to show at some big fashion show coming up.

"It's a big deal in Lakedon," he tells me excitedly as he finally sits and starts to eat the burger I got him. "I can't believe I was even approached."

"I can, you're really talented," I tell him honestly and I can tell he's proud as he glances down at the takeout container.

"Thanks, that means a lot, especially coming from you," his words are soft and meant only for me and something about them makes me light up a little more. I can feel myself starting to forgive him, just a little bit. I know, I know Bard will be upset. I'm upset, but again, I can understand. He's doing well and he's excited and it's a big deal for him.

I can understand... right?

June 8th

9:25 am

"Charlotte, I need to talk to you," Bard says lowly, glancing around the workshop towards Xander. We're back here this morning after Xander canceled our breakfast plans this morning. He's on a deadline he explained and he's really struggling to get finished with his pieces in time.

So I brought donuts and coffee and my book.

I sigh shifting on the small couch I'm on. "Bard, I know you're not happy with him, but he got caught up with work. How many times have I accidentally done that?"

"And what about canceling all of your plans this morning to keep working?" Bard asks me, his tone angry and frustrated.

I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Bard, I- I can't, okay. It sucks but—"

"This isn't what I wanted to talk to you about," Bard cuts me off and then shows me his phone. I squint at the screen, it looks like some kind of website. "I wanted to show you this."

"What is this?" I ask him, frowning at the screen. It looks like clothes and suddenly I realize I recognize the face in the photos. Mine. Panic courses through me. "Bard, what is this?"

"It's Xander's website," he tells me matter of factly.

I scroll through the images, my stomach dropping even more. The website shows the Alice in Wonderland style photos we took back at the palace and I can feel my face heat. Some of the shots... well I'm not sure that this is the type of imagery PR would normally want out there. I keep scrolling and I can actually feel all of the color drain from my face. He posted the photos from last night.

I hadn't intended to model for him again last night. I hadn't intended to model for him ever again. But it had been so fun that day in the tea room with Madeline and some of the pieces Xander is working on are even more extravagant and amazing. I'd thought we were just playing dress up. I'd thought Xander was just getting an idea of how they sat on an actual human instead of a dress form. I'd thought that what we took would stay private, deleted even after he'd made his corrections.

This was not private.

No, this was not private at all. In fact, some of these, I hadn't even been aware he'd taken. They were tasteful but they showed way more skin than I ever did with the media.

Horror floods me and Bard grunts, taking me back to the top of the photos and showing me the date of the original posts. "He posted these while back in Angeles. I think this is how he got into the Lakedon fashion show."

My stomach drops. Has Xander just been using me?

"Xander!" I bark, surprising myself as I storm towards the man and rip his headphones off of his head. I toss the phone in front of him. "What is this?"

"What?" Xander frowns at me and then at the phone. He glances down and then looks up at me even more confused. "It's my website. So what?"

"So what?" I ask him, incredulous. "What do you mean 'so what'? What are those photos?"

I feel crazy. He's looking at me like I'm crazy but I can't stop now.

"They're good photos," Xander says like I'm dumb. "Charlotte, calm down."

"Don't tell her to calm down," Bard's voice is harsh but I cut him a look.

"You realize it's illegal to use my photos without my permission?" I ask him, surprised he wouldn't ask me first. "How could you just post these?"

"That can't be true, paparazzi get your photo all the time." Xander waves me off and picks Bard's phone back up. He scrolls through the photos and glances up at me. "I really don't understand why you're upset. These are good photos."

"They show way more of me than I ever wanted the public to see!" I practically scream, really angry now.

He laughs. "Charlotte! They cover way more than a bathing suit."

"When have you ever seen a photo of me in a bathing suit?" I ask him, giving him a look. "Xander, how could you do this? How could you not think this through?"

"I didn't think it was a big deal, the others have been up for ages!" he yells back and I can feel Bard stiffen next to me.

"Yeah, the images that you also didn't ask me about and used to get attention to your clothes," I accuse, angrier and angrier by the moment. "Xander, I came here to get to know you better. I came here to spend more time with you and all you have done is thrown me to the side, ignored me, forgotten about me and used me."

"Charlotte, no, come on." He sighs and rubs at his forehead. "It's not like that. You know it's not like that."

"I don't, actually," I tell him, storming back to the couch and grabbing my bag. I turn back to him. "What I do know is that those images, all of them better be down within the hour. Because if I have to do it myself you will regret it."

His face colors then, anger really seeping in. He opens his mouth to say something but I cut him off.

"And what I also know," I tell him, frustration and hurt simmering in my core, "is that this, this is over. Don't bother coming back to Angeles. Good luck with your fashion show."

I ignore his protests, just like he ignored me all morning. I ignore him as he rushes the car, ready to object, just like he ignored my privacy. I ignore the look on his face as we pull away, Bard climbing into the driver's seat and tucking his phone away, just like he ignored every emotion and feeling I might have.

We make it three blocks before I break down crying.

How could I be so stupid?

June 9th

9:44am

"Wait, I thought you were supposed to be in Lakedon?" Henley asks me, confused, over Facetime.

"I was," I tell her, giving her a pointed look. Then I sigh. What the heck? Bard and Chatham already know everything. "I left. I eliminated Xander and I just couldn't stay there any longer."

"Oh, Charlotte, I'm sorry," Henley sighs and pouts. "So where are you now?"

"I went early to my layover city," I tell her. She hums and when she gets her evil grin on her face, I'm suddenly nervous. "What?"

"Well, I was just thinking about how your layover city is only a couple of hours from Airdrie... home of a certain other Selected..." Henley is saying all of this like I didn't choose this city for a layover because it was close to Levi's.

"Yeah, that was the whole point," I tell her, voicing my thoughts.

"I'm just saying, you could... go on to Levi's," Henley suggests with a shrug of her shoulders, like she's innocent.

"But I'm not supposed to be there until Monday," I argue.

"Yeah, but don't you want to see him?"

Yes, yes I really do. I've missed him these past four weeks, more than I thought I would. I hate to say it, I might have missed him the most.

"And wouldn't you rather spend the extra days with him than in a hotel room?" Henley asks now, a knowing look in her eye.

Again, yes. I'd rather have spent the last three weeks with him. But that's rude to say. That's not fair to the others. Besides, I'm sure it's just because he's the last home visit.

"I don't know, Henley." I shake my head.

"Charlotte, I'm not going to tell you what to do. But I will say, if you answered yes in your head at all... I think you should go." Henley shrugs but that glint in her eye is still there. She knows what she's doing, what she's done. She can probably see the excitement in my eyes at the prospect of seeing Levi soon. Today even.

"I don't know," I tell her, still hesitant.

"Charlotte, go," Henley tells me forcefully and a grin breaks out across my face.

"Yeah?" The excitement is growing in my stomach, but for some reason I still need the reassurance.

"Yeah." She chuckles and nods.

—

"Chatham, what do I wear to a garage?" I ask my bodyguard, leaning up into the front seat of our small rental car. Bard's napping, his headphones turned up so loud he's going to hurt his ear drums. But he is so tired of listening to Taylor Swift and right now, I need my confidence boosted. And that means it's all Taylor.

"What do you mean?" Chatham's eyes barely leave the road but they meet mine briefly in the mirror.

"I mean, I feel like this," I motion down to my linen pants and cashmere cardigan. "I feel like it's a bit much for a mechanics shop."

"How do you know he's even at the shop?" Chatham furrows his brow.

"Henley called, pretended to be a customer." I shrug, leaning back against my seat in the back. Chatham snorts but I scroll through my phone. "So again, what do I wear? I feel like royal chic just isn't going to cut it. Plus, I like this sweater. I don't really want to get it dirty."

"I mean, did you bring any jeans?" Chatham asks. "I could always find somewhere for you to change."

"Okay, so here's the thing," I say, scooting up in my seat once more and I watch in the mirror as Chatham rolls his eyes. He hates when I start something like this. He says it's always his signal that I've got something off the wall to say and it can always go either really well or really poorly for him. I clear my throat. "So here's the thing, I really had no idea how to pack for Levi's home visit. I mean Ambrose and Quentin I was pretty well able to guess, and it worked out just fine. Bowie... Well, okay none of us were prepared to go camping for three days. And Xander... well, it wasn't hard to pinpoint the tone for either but Levi..."

"Levi what?" Bard mumbles, rolling and pulling a headphone out.

I frown at him. "Are you eavesdropping?"

"Charlotte, we're literally in a car," Bard complains, still not opening his eyes. He sighs. "Now Levi what? Please tell me you're not changing your mind."

"No." I practically stick my tongue out at him. "I just don't know what to wear around him."

"Did you bring jeans?" Bard asks me, sounding bored and Chatham chuckles.

"Okay, when have either of you ever seen me in jeans? Honestly?" I ask them, annoyed now. "I brought my most casual clothes."

"Which I'm guessing in Levi world might mean business chic." Bard opens his eyes now, looking at the car ceiling. He sighs again and looks over at Chatham. "Do you think this means what I think it means?"

Chatham sighs. "I already looked up the nearest mall."

"I can't believe we have to go shopping with her," Bard complains, leaning his head back against his seat.

"Hey, I'm not that bad!" I protest, poking him in the arm.

"Sure, you aren't, Charlotte." Bard sighs as Chatham chuckles. "Sure you aren't."

—

Okay, maybe I'm not the best to go shopping with. The worst part is that I'm not actually sure what size I am. Most everything is specially made for me, I've never had to go shopping and pull my own clothes. I feel so spoiled, but it's fun. But maybe a little too fun.

"Charlotte? How much longer?" Chatham asks me through the changing room door.

"I'm sorry Chatham, I just—" I huff as I try on yet another pair of jeans. "I just can't tell if they actually fit."

"Do you need my phone?" Chatham offers and I sigh. I didn't want to have to resort to calling Henley but it looks like I have no choice.

"Yes," I whine, reaching out of the dressing room, relieved that he's already dialed Henley.

Calling Henley, it turns out, is an even worse idea than taking me shopping. Somehow from the small space of a cell phone screen, she somehow manages to dictate every little thing. Including how many pairs of too-tight jeans and tees. She even refuses to allow me to go up a size. When I exit the dressing room, a pile of clothes ready for the register, I can't help but feel a little self- conscious.

"Do I look ridiculous?" I ask my bodyguard. "Because I feel ridiculous."

"No," Chatham says as he stands at the checkout with me. He glances me over once more and frowns. "You look nice, Charlotte."

"Then why are you looking at me like that?" I ask him, glancing down at myself and Chatham rolls his eyes.

"Because you look nice, Charlotte."

—

Nerves are starting to get to me as we pull up outside of the garage. I've been in an auto mechanic's shop before and honestly, I don't know what to expect. Together, Bard, Chatham and I all watch as an elderly lady enters through the front office. My stomach flips and I'm practically bouncing in my seat now. The closer to his hometown I got, the more I realized how much I missed Levi.

I missed his quiet confidence in me and our late night dance lessons. I missed the teasing jabs and how he always managed to surprise me while still staying completely Levi. I missed his smile and the flutter of electricity I felt every time he was near. I missed how he made me feel safe and heard and appreciated. I missed him. Maybe more than the others.

And that scares me as much as it excites me.

"Okay, I can't wait any longer," I tell my bodyguards and I reach over, pushing open my door.

"Wait, Charlotte, you can't go in there. Not with that lady, no one is supposed to know you're here yet," Bard reminds me, rushing to open his own door and follow me.

I turn then and head to one of the open garage doors. "Fine," I tell him, not slowing down for him. "I'll go in the back."

The words had just escaped my mouth when I crossed the threshold. Immediately a voice calls out, "Sorry, customers can't be back— Charlotte?!"

I look up at the vaguely familiar voice and I beam as Onyx, Levi's best friend rushes towards me. He laughs loudly, drawing more attention to us as he leans in for a hug. "Nena, what are you doing here? I thought you were coming next week?"

"I decided to come early," I tell him, smiling and accepting the hug.

"Couldn't stay away from our boy, huh?" he asks me with a wink before he turns back to the rest of the garage. "Ay! Everybody, look who turned up in Airdrie!"

Suddenly half a dozen voices are surrounding me and I can see out of the corner of my eye as Bard stiffens, but Chatham still seems relaxed. I take that as a good sign as several large and grease-smudged men rush forward to shake my hand.

"Your highness, nice to meet you," one says as he grins and introduces himself. A couple others line up behind him when one comes out of what looks like a back office, hollering and sending up a round of cheers.

"Your Majesty, I'm Kevin, Levi's boss," the newcomer tells me, a broad smile on his face.

"Please, everyone, Charlotte is fine," I tell them all, keeping a smile on my face as I look at all of them.

"We thought you weren't coming until next week," someone calls out and I'm surprised it's a woman's voice.

"My schedule cleared up a little," I tell them and a couple of them chuckle. I can feel my cheeks blush. "I'm sorry for interrupting your work."

"Please, like this crew ever gets any work done anyways," Kevin jokes, rolling his eyes and tossing a rag at Onyx.

"Hey bossman, you can't talk about us like that, not in front of Levi's princess." Onyx laughs as he walks towards the back of the shop, or rather the front. My cheeks flair at his choice of words but I can't help but wonder where exactly Levi is. There's so many people here, but I still haven't seen the one I've wanted to see most.

There's laughter and hollering and several people trying to get my attention all at the same time and yet, I'm still looking around. I almost give up and ask when he appears.

Instantly, I'm relieved. I can feel my smile grow as I take him in and I start to make my way through the garage, towards him. He looks the same as he did four weeks ago, and yet I can't take my eyes off of him. It's like I'm afraid if I look away he'll suddenly disappear.

Finally, after what feels like hours, I make my way to Levi and of course that's when everyone quiets down. Now that I'm here, in front of him, nerves take over my body once more. I stand there and fidget and finally when I hear someone clear their throat, I glance up and in a whisper say, "Hi, Levi."

Hi, Levi? Really? That's all I can say? How... lame. I don't even hug him, or anything. Of course, he isn't hugging me either. In fact, he almost looks sick.

"Hey, Charlotte," his voice croaks and I can see his throat working overtime to produce even that much.

"Oooo Levi, your girl is here. What are you going to do now?" a voice sings out from behind me and I hear a snort from somewhere else in the room. Now my cheeks are flushing for all the wrong reasons. I bite my lip, not sure what to do now. There are so many eyes on us and really, I was expecting... Well, I don't know, but more of a happy reaction. Not this... statue.

"I'm sorry to just show up, but—" I become so acutely aware in that moment that everyone is listening to every word I'm stammering. What is wrong with me? I can stand in front of hundreds of people and deliver a speech. I can get on the evening news and recite facts and figures until I'm blue in the face. True I hate every minute and true, someone else usually writes those speeches, but still it's me saying the words, doing the thing. The only difference now is it's Levi in front of me and as he gives me the most panicked and lost look I've ever seen on his face, I find I have no idea what to say. I glance up at him, fully embarrassed now. "Can we talk in private?"

He nods, that's it, just nods and my stomach continues its endless plummet. Something's wrong. I made a mistake. Did I make a mistake? No, I don't know that yet. He was surprised. But usually when someone likes their surprise, they smile.

And Levi is certainly not smiling.

Levi leads me to the far corner of the garage and while it's not exactly private, it'll do. At least over here I can drop my voice into a whisper and actually have no one overhear me. I turn to face Levi and have to block out the stoic expressions on my bodyguards' faces and the concerned one on Onyx's. I shouldn't have done that though. In doing that, I have forced myself to look up at Levi and something about the look I see there...

"Um, so," I fumble for my words and I find myself fidgeting with my hands once more. I glance around Levi's eyes, avoiding the cold I see there. "I'm really sorry to just show up here. I decided to come early and figured you might be working, so I thought I'd take a chance and just come here. To the garage. To see you."

Nothing. It's almost hard to tell if he even hears me. The tips of his ears grow a shade pinker and I worry that I'm just embarrassing him as much as I'm embarrassing myself. I wait a beat longer and still, Levi says nothing and that feels like a punch to the gut, but maybe something's just wrong. Maybe he's busy.

Yeah, maybe I'm taking up time he'd planned to finish a few cars. Maybe he's just trying to figure out how to finish his work before we can leave, or if he'll even be able to.

So I try to give him an out. I smile, well as much of a smile as I can force and ask, "So, I'm assuming you have some work to finish up before—"

That seems to jerk him out of whatever has been going on in his mind and it's nice to see even a little life in him.

"Uh, yeah." He glances over my head. "Probably about an hour or so. Are you okay to stay here until we can head to my house?"

Relief washes over me. Okay, good. He still wants me to come to his house. He still wants me... "Yeah," I tell him, a true smile on my face now. "Of course I'm fine with that. You do what you need to do."

"Okay." Levi nods and then just walks away.

His shoulders are stiff and as Chatham and Bard circle the garage to stand near me, I force myself to relax.

This is Levi, I remind myself. I have nothing to worry about. Maybe he's just worried about what me being here means. We did have that talk about how he's never been in a relationship before. Maybe he's just nervous about that, like I've been in so many and know what I'm doing. Hah. Not at all. I'm floundering here, the last two eliminations are proof enough of that. But Levi, he's different. He's always treated me differently. He doesn't treat me like I'm weak, like I'm porcelain that is going to break at the slightest wind. Instead, even when it was windy, he's supported me, and he's always been honest with me. Right from the start, since the first word of his application.

This is Levi.

But then again, maybe the time apart did the opposite for him. Maybe while I found myself missing him the longer he was away, maybe Levi settled right back in here. Maybe he realized I'm too young or too much of a hassle. Maybe he figured out I'm not worth changing his entire life for. Maybe he realized he didn't feel as strongly for me as I'm afraid I do for him.

Maybe... maybe an hour is too long for me to be left alone with my thoughts.

—

Panic is tight in my chest by the time we get to his house. I don't know how but Levi ended up driving me in his car, Bard and Chatham following in our rental behind. I think they were trying to give us space, so we could talk on the way, but Levi's silent. Uncomfortable silence. We've been quiet together before. It's one of the things I like about him. I can just relax and we don't have to always be filling the space around us. We can just be. This silence though, is excruciating.

By the time we walk through his front door, I think both of us are so wound up, we might actually explode. Bard catches my eye as he places my luggage just inside the door and I send him a glare back.

No, I do not want him to speak up. I need privacy with Levi. He wasn't ready in the car, but now, we're in his home. Maybe now he'll be ready to say whatever he needs to say.

Even if it is to just send me home.

I think that's what scares me most. That maybe in the four weeks apart Levi has learned that he can in fact live without me. That he can't see a life where we fit together, where we make each other better. That he's barely thought of me, that he just let his life go completely back to normal.

And that he's happier that way.

"Uh—" I start, nerves fueling me to just talk but he also starts.

"So—" he says at the same time and we both catch each other's eye and chuckle awkwardly.

"Sorry, you can go first," I offer and wait. Finally, maybe he'll talk to me. But instead, I watch as he opens his mouth and freezes again. Panic swims through his eyes and doubt follows suit and my heart sinks even further. This isn't good. Something's wrong and while I fear and fear and fear, I still need to know. I still need to hear it. I need him to say it. I need to hear him say that he doesn't want me here, that he doesn't want me, that he's better off without me- whatever it is, as much as it scares me, I need him to say it. But frozen he stays. So, I step forward and with a light hand on his arm, I ask, "Are you okay?"

That seems to snap him out of it as his eyes, wild, shoot to me. But still, he hides and nods. "Yes."

Silence greets me once more and okay, he's not going to go first. I try to school my emotion, maybe if I just start it off—

"Levi, about showing up at your garage," I start and I find I can't look at him anymore. I can't look up at him and watch as he remains distant from me. It hurts, but it's up to me now. I think about everything that happened at the garage. All the hollering and chiding and the teasing from the others. How everytime someone said something or cast a grin at Levi, his cheeks grew three shades of red. How everytime Onyx or Kevin opened their mouth, his eyes would dart in panic. And then it hits me. He was embarrassed. But of what? So I try again, "I know it might have been embarrassing for you, at least that's how it seemed. So, I can't help but feel that the surprise wasn't exactly a welcome one."

Levi closes his eyes, seemingly no longer able to look at me. He speaks now, which I think is good until I hear what he says, "I'm not a huge fan of surprises."

"Oh." My stomach drops and I feel like I'm choking as I stammer, "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"It's fine." He shrugs, like it's no big deal. Like it means nothing. Like I mean nothing. "It's fine," he repeats and then something enters his voice, a hint of hardness. "I just wish you would have told me though."

"Right." Now it's my turn to nod as my face flushes with heat. My throat is thick now and all I want to do is fix this. "You're right, I should have, and—"

"You could have sent Bard ahead," he says, his voice rising a bit and now he's looking at me. I panic. I don't know what to do. I could have sent Bard, but I— I wanted to see him. I wanted to see him. I open my mouth to apologize again, to say something, anything but he continues, "Or Chatham. Anyone else, really."

"Oh, yeah, I could have," I mumble, wrapping my arms around myself, holding myself together as more panic zings through my veins. I've never heard this tone from Levi. Never. I don't think I like it.

"It didn't have to be you, Charlotte," he says softly but he might as well be shouting it as it echoes through my head. And he continues, dealing another blow, "It could have been anyone other than you."

Anyone other than me. That's who he would rather have had in his shop today. That's who he'd rather have here, now, in his home. Anyone other than me.

The words take my breath away for a moment and it's like every fear and insecurity are rushing me all at once. It's like they're suffocating me, drowning me. For a moment I can't breathe, I can't think, I can hardly do anything but stand there and try to hold myself together. But I'm failing. Failing as slowly, I feel my heart begin to fall apart.

"I didn't realize it was that terrible for you," I force out, anger and hurt lining any word. It's still hard for me to look at him, so I duck my head and whisper again, "I'm really sorry."

"You should be," he says and somehow his words surprise me. I'm not used to this Levi. I'm not even used to seeing Levi angry, and never at me. This Levi is all new to me and I can't help but wonder if this is how Levi truly feels about me. If this has just been a game and he's tired of it now, now that I took it too far and embarrassed him. He stabs the knife in deeper by adding, "You're here early, Charlotte. You didn't give me any warning, you just came out of nowhere. That's not fair, I was caught totally unaware."

I flinch at his words but they still do their job. They still land, creating more holes in my confidence than ever before. I had really thought... No. No, you can get through this.

"Well, that's kind of the point of a surprise Levi," I tell him, my breathing becoming fast. I'm anxious and angry and I need to get the words out. Maybe if I just get the words out, he'll understand. "I was trying to surprise you, trying to do something nice for you. I'm sorry it caught you off guard but I was excited to see you and—"

"Something nice for me?" he scoffs, cutting me off as his voice rises to be heard over mine. "Showing up at my work is not something I would call nice. Especially not there, not in front of all those people."

Something about his words niggle at me, strikes a chord that sets off alarms in my head. I'd said it before, that he'd seemed embarrassed I was there. I'd meant it in the sense that we're kind of dating, and that it's weird having a new beau around a group of people. But something about the way he says 'not in front of all those people' makes it feel like more. Like he's actually embarrassed of—

"You were embarrassed of me," I whisper the realization out loud, my eyes shooting to his, searching for the truth. Desperately hoping not to find it. When I do, my heart shatters with a loud crack. I shake my head, unable to fully process the information. "Of course," my voice is so soft but I know he can hear every word. "Of course that's it. You were embarrassed to be seen, with me, in there. Embarrassed that they saw us together." I can't look at him, not as the drowning feeling takes over my body again. When I open my eyes once more, I can't stop the tears that spring to my eyes. "It's easier in the castle, isn't it? Knowing there's no one from your real world there to see us."

"It's not all about you, Charlotte," Levi groans as he rubs a hand over his face. "That was not the reason I was embarrassed—"

I didn't know how much I had wanted him to deny it until he'd confirmed it. I can't stop the high pitched words as they wrench from my body, "Oh so you were embarrassed, good to know!"

"Charlotte, that's not the point," Levi groans, running a hand through his hair. He looks at me, exhaustion and frustration leaking into every word, "The point is, it could have been anyone else there to let me know you were here. Or better yet, you could have come when you were supposed to. When I was expecting you. When I wanted you to come."

"You don't want me here," I gasp, another emotional blow landing on my heart. I don't know how much more of this I can take. Already it's so hard to be in the same room with him, especially as he stands there and slowly pulls apart my heart.

"That's not what I said," he tries, but I'm not listening, not really, not anymore. Not when everytime I do listen, it just hurts me more.

"No, no, Levi, it's fine. It's fine if you don't want me here," I have to step further away from him because I'm definitely crying now and there's nothing I can do about that. There's nothing I can do except try to hurt him as much as he's hurting me, "Maybe I don't want to be here. Maybe I shouldn't be here, maybe I should be at home."

A silence fills the space between us. Please don't agree with me. The plea circles around my head as I silently beg Levi to fight for me, even as I know I'm the one suggesting we give up.

Fight for me, fight for me, fight for me.

Even as I stand here, a complete mess, not able to look at Levi, I still don't want him to give up. I still don't want him to let me go.

"Maybe you're right. Of course, you're right," Levi whispers and it's like a shock to my system.

I force myself to turn to him and I can't stop the tears from falling as I whisper the final, fatal words, "I should just go home then."

And then I can't look at him any longer. I can't watch as the relief must flood him in finally being rid of me. I can't watch as everything I thought would be dissipates before it ever had a chance to start. Everything I thought I had coming here comes crashing down around me. Everything I thought I might have disappears in front of me. And then I realize that Chatham and Bard are still gone.

I'm stuck here. Alone with nothing but my broken heart and boy who broke it.

—

I don't know how long it took for someone to find me. The time was a blur of sobs and tears and trying, desperately trying to hold onto myself. And then Abri was there and she was trying to hold me together, trying to figure out what happened, what went wrong.

Honestly, I was still trying to figure out what went wrong myself. Even if you hate surprises, how do you hate the surprise of someone you want to see? Unless, you don't actually want to see them.

My thoughts spiral, confusing me more and more as I stand at the door with Bard, practically ready to walk out. I don't really know what's stopping me from leaving except the hope that Abri will actually fix this. The hope that maybe all of my worries and assumptions are wrong. The hope that maybe Levi and I can still salvage this. But with every passing second, that hope that Abri instilled in me dwindles.

"Charlotte, why are we waiting?" Bard asks me and his tone isn't kind.

I glance up at him and see a glowering pot of anger and frustration. I think he actually reaches down and cracks his knuckles as he takes in my red rimmed eyes. At least the tears have stopped. My voice cracks as I say his name but he cuts me off.

"I don't know what he did, I'm not sure I want to know what he did." Bard seems to grow with his anger and I shake my head at him. "But why are we waiting? Why are you giving him another chance to hurt you? After everything you've been through in the last two weeks, do not let him do this to you too."

"Bard, please," I beg him, feeling the exhaustion that laces my voice. "I can't fight with you too."

"You fought?" Bard asks, all concerned.

"We argued," I tell him, nodding my head and even now, just saying that, my chest clenches at the reminder that Levi doesn't want me here. That Levi's embarrassed of me, to be seen with me. It's that reminder that shoots another sting of anger into my cheeks and I shake my head. "You know what, let's go."

"I'll get your bags," Bard says, moving around me into the room and grabbing my luggage again.

Chatham huffs as he jogs to the door and grunts. "What's going on?"

"We're leaving," Bard tells him, handing him one of my three suitcases.

"We are?" Chatham asks, surprised and looking from Bard to me. He must see everything he needs to know because suddenly, his jaw is clenched and he looks almost as angry as Bard. "Ah, we are."

Both guys are at the door when Abri and Levi rush back in. I glance at Abri and she looks like she has a hundred things to say. Then I glance up at Levi. A look of determination is on his face and something else that I can't quite place.

I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out. We all just stand there, staring until finally Abri has enough.

"Okay, Levi, you and Charlotte, go talk outside," she says, authoritatively and I just move in response, heading in the direction she and Levi just came in.

I can feel Levi following me and my anxiety once more spikes. I know Abri has the best of intentions but what if nothing comes of this? What if this changes nothing?

I don't know where I'm going, I'm just guessing but I'm a little surprised at the small yard I step out into. It's well kept with a neat row of flowers along the one end. It's small and comfortable and as I watch Levi step out into it, it fits him somehow.

That for whatever reason, brought tears to my eyes once more.

"Charlotte, I'm sorry," Levi says and his voice quavers. Something in it makes my heart clenches even if I can't look at him. He takes a moment to continue with his apology and for some reason, it hurts that I'm surprised he actually does. "I— I was surprised, yes, and the reason I was is because... because the last big surprise I got was the fact that my mom died. And every surprise since then has always caused a huge shock to me, and I don't like to relive that feeling."

I frown, more to myself. I hadn't thought about that. I hadn't thought about the fact that the last time Levi had a major surprise on his hands, it wasn't a good one. It had left him, and his sister motherless and he the sole provider for his sister. I hadn't taken into account his feelings, and it hurts that I would do that to Levi. I don't know how he has the bravery to keep talking, I wouldn't, but he does.

"But it was still wrong. I still— I still ignored you and for that I'm sorry. I was being selfish and I was pushing you away, and I thought that it was better if I did." This surprises me more than it should. Never before have I argued, truly argued with anyone like that and then had them come back and tell me it was their fault. Not even Xander owned up to his transgressions, and he was fully in the wrong.

Meanwhile, Levi stands here, apologizing and taking the blame for something that... wasn't entirely his fault. I open my mouth to say something, but again, he surprises me, "Because then I wouldn't have to face the fact that I was scared to lose you."

Wait, he was afraid to lose me? I look up at him, meeting his eyes then, the words landing heavily in my heart. If he was afraid to lose me then, does that mean... Could he...?

"I've thought of you every day since I've been home." I feel myself almost collapse at the single sentence, but still I stand strong. I don't know how. I just want to throw myself at him, hold him, tell him I'm not angry anymore. But something in me tells me to be patient. So I wait, willing him to say everything I've been dying to hear from him.

"And I had everything planned for you. We were gonna have everything done for you, have the house decorated to welcome you, and... and then you came early. And it threw me off," he continues his declaration and my stomach erupts in happiness and joy. Because even though he's frustrated with himself, I can tell he's frustrated with himself, I know that it's no longer because he simply wants me gone. No, instead, I know it's something more. Something I suspect has been growing in me ever since I met him. He sighs and turns, pacing a few steps before turning back to me. "But what really threw me off is that I thought I had time to process things. You. Me. Us. I thought I had enough time to come to terms with whether or not I thought we could work. Whether or not I thought I could love you."

There it is. The word I've been waiting for. The one I've been hoping for. Love. Abri had asked me before in the house, do I love Levi? Was his home visit supposed to be different, because what I feel for him is different from what I feel for the others? Is that why I was willing to come early? Why I was so excited to come early? Because I love Levi? I think I know the answer to that, I think I'm more than on my way to it. Now, to try and figure out whether or not he can feel the same way for me.

I want to tell him. To ease his fears right there that I think we could work, that I think we could get there. Together. Always together. But I can tell he's not done, and quite honestly, I want to hear what he has to say next as he steps closer to me.

"Even though I don't know if it could work. If we could work. Which is why... I said those things. I said those things because it was easier to say them instead of facing the fact that I—I really care about you," he says as he takes my hand and this is how I know he means it. He means his words. Until now, Levi has never initiated contact. He's always waited for me. Either to initiate the contact to give him all the signs, Levi has otherwise always kept a very respectable distance. Unless, of course, he couldn't. Like now, when he's finally letting his emotions talk and control his every movement. He looks down at him, not breaking eye contact and I can see so much in his eyes. Hurting, wanting, longing and self-doubt all swim there and I feel like I understand him even more.

"You have to know it hurt me too," he says, his voice breaking just slightly as he says it. And I do. I can hear it in his words and feel it in his touch. It breaks my heart as he goes on, " It doesn't make it right, but it still hurts, and I can only apologize so many times and it still doesn't make it right. It doesn't take away the hurt. And I'm also sorry for that. Abri told me what happened with Bowie and Xander, and for that I am also sorry. You aren't a person that should be ignored, Charlotte, and I'm sorry I made you feel that way after just coming from someone who did that to you."

After what feels like an eternity, he takes a deep breath, letting himself catch up to his emotions, and letting me process mine. He closes his eyes and I can't leave him there, half hanging in the wind so I take his other hand, wanting to steady him and drawing him even closer.

"Forgive me," he whispers, leaning down and pressing his forehead to mine. I can't stop the tears that leak out as he leaves himself completely vulnerable to me. I've never seen this side of Levi, so stripped bare and left waiting for my judgment. Like there's anyway but one this kind of judgment would ever go.

"I'm sorry, too," I whisper, saying my first words in what feels like a lifetime. I can't stop the weak smile on my face as Levi reaches up to wipe away the tears still escaping down my cheek. I have to explain, "I was already hurting having to leave Xander's the way I did. And then I decided to come and see you and..." and I was expecting a lot from him. I realize that now. I built our reunion up in my head, thinking there would be no issue, that everything would be fine, because that's what I wanted. But it didn't go that way. "And I was comparing the two of you, your reactions and you were mixing together in my mind and I never gave you a chance after that. I had already made my decision and that wasn't fair of me. It wasn't fair to you." I swallow, knowing there's a million more things I could say to try to explain but I don't think it matters. Not really. So I say to the most important thing, "So I beg forgiveness too."

"It was my fault, Charlotte, really." Levi shakes his head, not letting me take responsibility for my part in all of this, even as I shake my own head.

I know he'll never let me take responsibility for this. Not really, not as much as I deserve, so instead I roll my eyes. "Well then, I accept your apology."

"And I accept yours." A grin spreads across his face but I know that he still is seeing himself as the villain in all of this.

I hate knowing that he sees himself as the sole holder of the blame. I hate that he thinks that lowly of himself. I wish I could make him see that it's just as much me. That I hold as much blame in this situation. But I know Levi. I know that he will only ever blame himself, so I choose to change the subject as his other words fill me with delight.

"So, you really do care about me then?" I ask him like a little kid wanting to hear it again.

"I do." Levi nods, a much happier smile on his lips now. Lips that I can't seem to stop looking at now that I've already started, even as he says, "I really do." My own grin widens and for a moment I picture myself stepping forward to press my lips against his own when he shakes me from those thoughts with a whisper.

"Even if your family doesn't like me very much."

I know he means it as a joke but it's like someone shook me awake for a moment. He's not wrong. At first, my family didn't like him very much. Even now, this far along, my father has only just started to accept Levi. And acceptance is a long way from liking.

"They like you...." I try to tell him but I trail off thinking about all the different times my family has snubbed him in the last six months. No wonder why he thinks they don't like him. My mother rarely ever speaks to him, my father always turns his nose up at Levi and Luc... well, Luc and Levi seem to have reached some weird truce ever since the hockey game. At least Uncle Philip isn't completely against him... not anymore at least.

"I don't fit there, Charlotte," Levi says it softly but every word is like a punch to the gut. "You know it and they know it."

"But you could fit with me," I insist, squeezing his hands and thinking about my thoughts from just a moment ago. I know we could fit. I could show him how well we could fit.

Levi drops my hands and paces away from me once more, seemingly at battle with himself. He runs his hands through his hair as he seems to argue something in his head. I can sense another bad turn coming from us as the expressions on his face change rapidly and suddenly I can feel my pulse in my throat. I need to head him off before he forces us over a cliff I don't want him nearing. I need to convince him, somehow, I need him to see clearly.

"I picked your application," I blurt out and it seems to work. He looks at me now, his mouth opening and closing and this must be how he was feeling moments ago because before he can mutter more than a 'what?' I'm moving closer to him and explaining myself.

"I just kept coming back to it," I rush to explain and now it's my turn to pace. "I had five provinces that I got to choose the Selected from, and one was yours. I knew what my parents wanted me to pick. The ones with the best jobs, most perfect on paper, the ones that my father wanted as king because he could mold them," I swallow knowing how well Ambrose fits that description. It doesn't matter, I inhale and continue, "I knew it was out of some small rebellion, but I picked yours. That's why my parents don't like you, because they never would have picked you themselves."

It hurts me to tell him this but it's the truth. For them. Not for me. Never for me.

I can see his mind working through this new information and how much that might change. I can see how as each new realization hits, he looks at me just a little differently. There's just one thing that seems to still be bothering him.

"Why?" he asks, confusion and something else lacing his voice. "Why would you pick me?"

"Because you were honest," I don't even have to think about my answer because it's been the same from the very beginning. "I saw tons of applications from those five provinces alone. Most everyone else put their whole life story, but surprisingly, they were all good things. It was like a highlight reel. Promotions at work, family growing closer, even making their home lives with divorced family sound like a dream. On and on it went but I could see through all the lies," I tell him, turning away and pacing more and more. It's true. Every application was a montage to how amazing each life had been up until then. Like a neon sign signaling that I could be the next chapter of their perfect lives. "Everyone always has a chance to make themselves sound better on paper, and pretty much everyone took it."

"But not yours," I pause and look up at him, remembering who it is I'm talking to. Remembering the application that kept me coming back time and time again. "It didn't seem like you left anything out. You gave dates, you gave tragedies. You told me the truth, Levi." I smile softly, appreciating how honest he had been with a complete stranger and rewarding that honesty with some of my own. "I read your application, many times, and I— I wanted to know you. I wanted to meet you. I wanted to meet the man who had the bravery to write about his worst moments as well as his best. The man who had the bravery to write about his dad, about his time in the war, about what happened to his mom."

Levi's eyes are closed now as he takes in everything I'm saying and I take that opportunity to move closer. I hope everything I'm saying is landing home, because I don't think I've ever been more honest with anyone in my life. Now I feel like what I say here and now is more important than any other speech I've ever given in my life.

"I've dealt with false faces and fronts all of my life. Everyone will lie to a princess if it makes them look better. I've dealt with the lies, the fake stories and even people who I thought were closest to me hiding things about themselves that they shouldn't have—" I pause, Hellie's face crossing my face. I wish she would have talked to me about everything she was going through. I could have helped her. She could have trusted me. But that's not what this is about. This, right here, right now, is about Levi and trying to make him understand. I look back up at him. "But not you, you've never lied to me, Levi. You've never put up a front. You've always been straightforward. You've been different the whole time, different from everyone else.

"It's my fault my family doesn't like you," I sigh, hanging my head in defeat. "Dad's been wanting to get you out of the Selection since before you arrived. But I- I never could do it. I couldn't let you go. And Levi, throughout all of it, you've still shown me that you're different. Your application didn't lie, not like so many others that did." James, Apollo, Nico all flash through my head and I'm more thankful than ever that Levi is still standing in front of me, that Levi has made it to the end.

"I thought it would have scared you away," Levi's voice is a hoarse whisper and I realize that he's closer to me. Almost right in front of me. When did he come so close?

I shake my head, a small smile tugging at the corner of my lips. Levi would think that his honesty would scare me away.

"It didn't," I tell him, honesty pouring from me as I endeavor to open my heart completely to him, to make him understand. "Ever since I saw you standing on the sidelines on my birthday, I knew. I knew Levi, that I wanted you there." I sigh and force myself to continue on. "Throughout it all, every moment, even the argument, there was a part of me that didn't want to let you go. Even though I was hurt, even though I had thought you had pushed me away forever." I take a deep breath as tears start fresh, even as I see the pain on his face at the reminder, I know I must continue, "During your apology and even before you asked, I had already forgiven you because I want you here with me, Levi. I want to be here with you... I wasn't ready to let you go."

"You can thank Abri for getting me to apologize," Levi tries to joke with a breathy laugh and the gratitude I feel towards that girl, on so many levels, astounds me.

"I will," I promise him, taking another step towards him. Slowly through every confession, we've been moving closer to each other. Now we're just within reach and yet Levi takes another step.

I want to touch him. I want to reach out and hold him and reassure him. I want him to wrap me in a hug and tell me it will all be alright. That it'll all work out. I want to reach up and kiss him, to find out how well we can fit together, to finally see if this is all just in my head. I don't think it is.

"So you don't regret your decision? After everything, after our fight, after our apology, you don't regret picking me?" he says it almost lightly but I can tell that a lot rides on my answer.

Good thing it's the easiest question I've ever been asked in my entire life. "No, no," I tell him, shaking my head. I look up at him and once more my gaze snags on his lips and I tell him again, "Never."

The word is barely out of my mouth when I feel him moving. Suddenly, his arms are around me, pulling me closer than he ever has before. Then he really surprises me and presses his lips to mine.

Finally.

That's all the time I get to think before he's pulling back, just slightly. I think I actually whine briefly, before he's pulling me to him once more, his kiss hungrier than before. I can't stop the smile on my lips as my hands cup his face. Finally, he kisses me. I've been waiting for weeks, months and now that he's finally kissing me, it feels like I've been waiting for my entire life for Levi to kiss me.

And now that he has, I know I was right. We fit.

All at once, I can see it. I can see how we would fit together, what our life together might be like. All at once, I know I want that life, I need that life. I would do anything for that life.

I just hope Levi feels the same. As he deepens the kiss, I smile to myself once more. I think he does, I think he feels it too.

Levi pulls away and I realize we're both shaking. Not from cold or anything. No, not from anything but pure adrenaline and racing emotions. He presses his forehead to mine and grins at me, satisfaction lacing his grin.

"I don't regret you picking me either," Levi whispers, confessing to me.

I grin back, needing to tease him just a bit, "Not even a little?"

"Not even a little," he murmurs, grinning as widely as he presses another kiss to my lips. "Not even a little."

—

I could get lost in Levi's kisses all day.

Unfortunately for me, shortly after we come back up for air, Abri joins us back out on the porch. I can feel her eyes darting between the pair of us, looking for a sign, any sign of what might have happened between us. But this, I think Levi and I are determined to keep everything just between us. Instead, I just hugged Abri, whispering my thanks to her. Without her, Levi and I would never have patched ourselves back up. Without her, I might already be on my way back to Angeles.

I owe her a debt.

Entering the house however, that took a lot more courage. The looks Bard and Chatham give Levi... well, I'm going to have to put a stop to those real quick. I don't get a chance though. Not as we all settle around the dining table in Levi and Abri's kitchen. Instead, we sit and talk and I'm relieved when pizza quickly arrives. Food always takes the edge off of people's tempers and curiosity. Abri keeps the conversation light and alive but I kind of stop paying attention half way through. It's not my fault. It's Levi's.

Instead of paying attention to the conversation, all I can think about is how Levi took my hand under that table. About how he laced his fingers with mine and how now it's resting lightly on his thigh as he traces circles in my palm with his thumb. Thanks to Levi, all I can think about is how perfectly our hands fit together and how happy I am just from the simple act of him holding my hand. How much I'm melting from just that simple bit of physical contact.

If this is how I'm going to react everytime Levi shows me any attention, everyone else is going to know. And fast. But as Levi's thumb swipes across my palm once more, I find that I don't care.

Not even a little bit.

June 10th

8:45 am

Singing woke me up and I can't help but grin as the unknown song starts over once more. Yeah, that seems like something Abri would do. As I lay in bed, the smells of waffles drift up and reach me. My stomach grumbles and I smile. I love waffles.

I glance around the small, cozy room Levi and Abri rushed to get ready for me last night. A tinge of guilt pierces through me as I remember what Levi told me. He told me they had planned to set up the room, decorate the house for my arrival and I ruined all of their plans. Guilt and anger and sadness pierces through me once more as I think about yesterday. And then I remember the kiss. Well, the kisses.

And nothing about that makes me sad.

I get dressed quickly and head down, just in time for Abri's solo. Looking around the kitchen, it seems like every song has been Abri's solo. With her spatula as her microphone. It looks like it's caused batter to go everywhere.

And then I see Levi.

Holding in a laugh, I smile up at him, waffle batter all through his hair and it takes everything in me not to reach up and try to clean some of it up for him. But then he meets my eyes and I freeze just for a moment. Abri must have noticed her brother was no longer following her instructions and she too turns to smile at me.

"Smells good in here," I greet them, avoiding meeting Levi's eye. I know as soon as I do, I'm going to blush. And then Abri will know something happened between us. I'm not sure we're ready for anyone else to know yet. So I distract myself by looking at the suspiciously clean Abri. "Can I help with anything?"

"Nope, it's all ready." Abri dances around the kitchen, turning down the music. "You hungry?"

"Of course." I shrug, standing to move to where Abri pulls a plate down from the cabinet for me. I almost choke at the amount of food Abri piles on my plate but at the same time, I'm grateful. People always give me small portions of food, figuring I'm a princess and I must watch my intake. But they don't realize how many meals I actually skip. I don't always realize how many meals I skip.

I move from Abri and stand next to Levi, fighting the urge to look up at him. Because if I look at him then I'll want to touch him, and if I touch him then I'll want to kiss him. And then once again, Abri will know. Then I do it, I glance up at him as Levi slides a waffle on my plate.

"Good morning, Levi," I can't help but greet him and smile softly. I can already feel the butterflies in my stomach.

"Good morning, princess," he says softly and there it is. Full eruption of butterflies as I feel my cheeks heat at his words. How does he make my title sound so endearing? Why is it that I like it on his lips so much? Why do I want him to call me that again?

I don't respond, just settle at the table with my piled high plate of food. Everything is delicious, of course and I can't help but do a small happy dance in my seat at just how good the waffles are. I love waffles.

When everyone finishes eating I turn to Levi. "So what's the plan for today?"

He swallows, not sure what to say. I can see the indecision on his face as he decides how best to tell me something. He wipes at his mouth with his napkin and turns to me. "Well, I still have a few jobs at the shop to finish up but it shouldn't take me too long. I can probably ask Onyx or one of the other guys to take them over..."

"No, don't," I blurt out, feeling bad all over again at how much I'm inconveniencing him and Abri with my spur of the moment decision. "I don't want to be a burden," I tell him, shifting in my seat. "What all do you have to do today?"

"A couple of oil changes and a tire replacement," Levi rattles it off like it's the most boring thing and maybe to a mechanic it is. He watches as his sister gathers the plates and reaches out, taking my hand under the table once more. Butterflies... are there any butterflies anywhere else in the world or are they all in my stomach? He grins at the slight flush coloring my cheeks and reassures me. "It won't take me long. I'll be back around lunch."

"Oh, well actually, I was wondering," I tell him, swinging our hands slightly with my musings and Levi raises his eyebrow at me. I grin at him. "I was actually wondering if you would teach me."

"You want me to teach you... what, exactly?" He's confused now and I roll my eyes.

"How to change a tire or oil." I shrug. "Either one really."

"I don't know." Levi shakes his head and pulls my hand to him, inspecting it. He glances up at me from under his lashes. "Neither is very clean, or gentle on the hands."

"Oh my gosh!" Abri shouts from the kitchen, sending a dish towel flying at her brother. "If the girl wants to learn how to change a tire, teach her how to change a tire!"

Levi and I both snort and duck our heads as she sends a washcloth flying next, chasing us out of the house and towards Levi's car. Once outside Levi turns to me, curious once more. "Why the interest?"

"I don't know." I shrug my shoulders and look up at him. "Maybe I just wanna see what it is you do at work."

Levi grins at that and something in his grin makes me blush. He pulls me towards the car and as he opens my door he whispers in my ear, "Well then, princess, let's teach you how to change a tire."

—

Entering the garage this time is a completely different experience. The others still stare but at least they're not all shouting their names at me or jostling to shake my hand. I can't tell if that is because the novelty of me being a princess has worn off or if it's because Levi is beside me and glowering at all of them.

"Hey, Charlotte, good to see ya again," Onyx says as he loops his arm around my neck and I have to laugh at the look he gives Levi. It's a mixture of teasing, pride and innocence. Something tells me it's a look only Onyx could get away with.

"Good morning, Onyx, nice to see you as well." I laugh with the charismatic young man. He grins down at me and huffs as Levi lifts Onyx's arm from around me, leading me away from his friend.

"Hey, Levi, did you tell Genn she was coming?" Onyx asks as he follows us towards where I saw Levi working yesterday.

I frown. "Who's Genn?"

"She's our manager," Onyx tells me and turns back to Levi. I tune them out though because I don't remember meeting a 'Genn' yesterday. In fact, I don't remember meeting any other girls yesterday. Judging by the gleam in Onyx's eye and the tone in his voice as he asks about her, I might not want to.

"Anyways, Charlotte, here's some gloves," Levi says to me as he hands me a pair of thick work gloves. That is clearly too big for me. I put them on and look up at him, skeptical. He chuckles. "They're all I've got."

"Nah." Onyx shakes his head and jogs away, shaking his head.

When he's gone I look up at Levi. "So what are we starting with?"

"The tires," Levi tells me, grinning at me as he grabs a set of keys from his work bench and pushes a button, lifting the nearest garage door. "Stay here and I'll bring the first car around."

Once he's gone I hear a set of footsteps right behind me. I don't turn around, expecting Bard or Chatham, maybe even Onyx coming back. Instead a distinctly feminine voice interrupts my thoughts.

"So you're the princess, huh?" I glance over, finding a tall brunette standing next to me. Well, taller than me anyway.

I don't like her tone but I smile and hold out my hand. "Yes, hi, I don't think we met yesterday. I'm Charlotte."

"I know." She glance up and down my body and something in her gaze makes me want to fidget. It's like she's evaluating me and based on the smirk on her face when she meets my eyes once more, she's found me lacking. "You know, I was expecting... more. Maybe it's your sister I'm thinking of though."

"Hey, Genn." Onyx's smile is tight as he approaches us once more and holds a pair of gloves out to me. "Here, Charlotte, these might fit you a bit better than Levi's."

"Thanks," I mutter, dropping my gaze from Genn's. It feels like I let her win, but she already knew that she had. Comparing me to my sister? And finding me lacking? Yeah, she knew exactly where to hit.

"Genn, don't you have some scheduling to do?" Onyx asks the girl, narrowing his eyes.

She just shrugs as she begins to walk away. "Eh, I just wanted to meet our illustrious princess. Turns out I didn't really need to, not much there to meet."

"Oh, how's that, Genn?" Levi asks from behind her and she jumps, color coming to her cheeks. He stands in the doorway from the office, his own cheeks a bit red but more from anger than anything else.

Genn bites her bottom lip and then she straightens. Seems like she's not one to back down from a fight. She grins up at Levi and shrugs, like she couldn't care less what I think, what he thinks. "Oh I don't know Levi." Then she glances back at me. "She's just a bit... delicate for someone like you."

Levi looks at me as well and shrugs, turning his attention back to Genn. "I don't know. I think she's perfect for someone like me."

And once again, Levi Hernandez makes me melt.

June 11th

12:32 am

I don't know when I fell asleep. I don't remember finishing the movie or Abri going back to bed, so it must have been kind of early. I'm surprised neither Levi or Abri woke me up to get me into bed. Instead, they left me here, curled up on the couch.

I am really warm. And very, very comfortable.

I'm not at all surprised to find the blanket pulled up around me. Levi would never leave me down here without blankets or a pillow. I am surprised when I glance up and find Levi still down here with me, curled up around me in the blanket as well.

It's a good surprise. A happy one. One that reminds me how happy I am to be here, even though it's only been one day. Even though my arrival was more than a bit tumultuous. I am happy here.

Levi's arm tightens around my waist and I smile to myself once more. I could head up to bed, but that would mean breaking his hold and leaving this happy, warm spot. Instead, I glance up at his sleeping face, taking in everything he is. It hits me again at this moment, just like it did yesterday.

I love this man.

The thought sends my tired mind spiraling. If I love him, how do I proceed from here? Do I tell him? Is it too early? What about Quentin and Ambrose? Does Levi feel the same?Around and around my mind spins and I'm finding it hard to silence the racing midnight thoughts. Levi must sense my distress because once more his arm tightens around my waist and this time, he nuzzles into my hair. The movement quiets my mind, if only briefly and I relax back into him.

I know if I stand a chance of falling back asleep, I need to relax. I need to turn my mind off, get lost in something, anything else. I glance down and notice Levi's arm, slung around me.

Slowly, tentatively, I reach out and run my fingers along his arm. He doesn't respond and I do it again and again. Over and over I trace the designs in his tattoos, making my own in the dark ink, satisfying a want I had long ago.

I feel my body relax more. Eventually my mind quiets down and finally I feel my eyes start to drift closed, lulling me once more back into a restful sleep. All I can think is, I'm happy here.

I'm home.

—

"Okay, makeover time." Abri sighs as she drops a pile of clothes on her bed and begins holding up item after item, looking at me through squinted eyes.

"Oooh, I always like that top on you." Emmie grins from her spot on the bed, shoving a handful of m&ms into her mouth.

"Yeah, but is it Charlotte?" Abri asks, holding the top in question up once more and evaluating it.

"To be fair, I'm not sure much in that pile is very 'Charlotte'," I tell the younger girls as I eye the pile of clothes once more. I'm not sure why Abri has decided that she must dress me to go out tonight, but one thing I have learned very quickly, do not argue with Abri. In my defense, most of the pile seems to have some element of leather, which in general is not very princess-y.

"Ain't that the truth," Abri snorts as she tosses me the shirt in question. "Here, try it on. We'll go from there."

It takes almost an hour to choose my outfit and even longer for Emmie to do my makeup. I have to admit though, she did a really good job on it. Abri was right, I look nothing like normal Charlotte. Instead, in front of me stands a whole new Charlotte. A much, much edgier Charlotte.

I'm second guessing the whole look however when Abri pulls me out of her room, down and into the living room. Levi is at the door, almost gone when we emerge and the look in his eyes as he takes my makeover in makes it all worth it.

"I know," Abri sing-songs, clearly proud of herself. "You don't even recognize her."

Levi's eyes run over me once more before he snaps his attention back to his sister. "You have your phone?"

"Yes," she sighs, clearly annoyed he had nothing to say about my look. Honestly, I'm a little disappointed as well. I was expecting something, anything. Instead, he just nods as Abri pats her back pocket.

"Just checking," his voice is low and I'm just about to give up and insist that Abri changes me back when his eyes snap back to me. Okay, that look, that look, makes forcing myself into the tight leather pants worth it.

As Levi closes the door behind him, Abri chuckles before turning to me. "You ready?"

No. I will never be ready to go out looking like this. But that look...

I straighten up and give Abri my most confident grin.

"I'm ready."

—

After dinner, I finally admit to Abri that I'm not entirely comfortable going out dressed as I was. That and I ate so much I felt like I could barely move.

That seems to be a theme with Abri. She likes feeding me way more than I should be eating and challenging me to get whatever it is that's catching my eye the most, instead of the salad I know I should be eating at this point. So now I'm bloated and completely relieved to be back at Levi and Abri's house and hanging into comfy clothes.

"Turn around," Abri moans when she sees me, a huge tote in front of her.

"What? Why?" I ask her, glancing down at myself. I know my outfit is a relaxed lounge set.

"Those are not lounge clothes," she says motioning for me to spin.

I oblige. "Yes they are! Feel them, they're jersey."

"The thickest jersey I've ever felt," Abri tsks as she feels my top. She sighs. "Okay, that is soft. But to be fair, I was expecting an oversized tee shirt and some leggings. You know, like me."

She motions down at herself and I can't help but laugh. "Firstly, if my mother ever caught me wearing leggings for anything but yoga or a workout, she'd probably skin me alive. And secondly, you think Madeline would ever allow me to have an oversized tee shirt?"

"Fair enough," Abri sighs. Then she gets a look on her face, a devilish look and something tells me I might not like what she says next. "I know where we can get you some oversized shirts."

"I don't know exactly what you're thinking, but really Abri, I'm fine," I tell her, shaking my head. "This is comfortable and I'm happy."

"Fine, but don't complain to me when I accidentally get nail polish on it." Abri shakes her head, sighing and heading into the living room.

"I won't," I tell her, following. "I know just how to get nail polish out of most fabric types. It's part of princess training."

"Is it really?" she asks me, stopping by the coffee table, surprised.

"No," I snort, shaking my head.

Abri gasps. "Charlotte Schreave, just for that, I'm making you paint my nails first."

"Fair enough," I laugh, settling down into my spot, leaning against the couch. "Fair enough."

—

Something in me is entirely unsurprised that Levi knows how to do nail art. It seems like something a little sister would make her older brother learn. In fact, I remember more than a few times Hellie and I were yelled at for putting sparkle nail polish on Luc. I think that's completely normal.

What I wasn't expecting him to know, was how to braid. Or dye hair. I don't know. Luc always seemed so hesitant and never would let us braid his hair. But now that I think about it, Hellie used to braid my hair all the time, so maybe it's not such a surprise. Either way, I always melt completely on the floor when Levi begins playing with my hair, parting it this way and that, brushing it and working the dye into the tips.

At this point, I am not surprised at all that Abri talked me into red tips. Well, I probably would have done just about anything for an excuse for Levi to play with my hair. I love having my hair played with. My favorite day of the month is when Gustav, my hair stylist, comes in to freshen up my balayage. In fact, I have an appointment with him on Sunday when I get back, another reason why I'm currently letting Levi Hernandez put red dye over my blonde. Gustav will be able to take it out when I get home, and why shouldn't I have a little fun?

"Having fun?" Levi asks me and I startle. I hadn't realized I'd closed my eyes while he'd worked and I reached my head back, looking up at him.

"This is incredibly relaxing," I tell him, a soft smile on my lips.

He grins. "Good I'm glad."

"See Levi, I told you the skill would come in handy," Abri teases her brother. "No woman can resist a man who plays with her hair."

"Hear, hear!" I declare, straightening out my neck.

I can feel rather than hear Levi chuckle behind me. I hadn't realized he was that close and I flush at the sensation.

"Good to know," he says, not able to hide his amusement. Abri grins at her brother and then winks at me and then I know. She's orchestrating this, all of this. Every moment.

She's going to be trouble.

June 12th

11:27 pm

I haven't been able to quiet my mind tonight. I told the siblings that it feels normal here, and that I needed normal, and I did. I think I really needed a home visit like this. Granted I've only been here a few days, but this has felt different from the others. I don't feel Levi and Abri are trying to show me off or trying to only show me the good things of living in Airdrie. No, instead, this home visit has felt like they're just showing me their home and their lives together.

Which makes what Abri told me today all the harder to hold onto.

Knowing that Abri was almost hurt, or worse, makes my skin crawl. The fact that she's been staying here alone since Levi's been gone only makes it worse. I want her to feel safe in her own home, in her own hometown. If a girl can't even go to the quick mart and stay safe, what hope does she have if she has to work nights? I hate the thought and I hate how useless I feel because of it. It's kept me up.

I try to quietly descend the stairs, but I don't think I'm successful. The small house Levi got for him and Abri is cozy, but the floors can squeak. A lot. Like with every step I take. It makes sneaking around very, very difficult.

At least it's difficult when you don't live here.

I turn the corner of the stairs, heading to the kitchen and almost scream as I run into someone.

Someone tall and solid and smelling faintly of cinnamon and orange blossom and something else that I can't quite place. And shirtless. Very, very shirtless.

I swallow hard, taking in the expanse of shoulders and pecs in my eyeline. And tattoos. So many tattoos.

I've seen Levi shirtless before, but never when it was just us, and not when I could just look. The tattoos are beautiful, the muscles are beautiful and that ache to touch, to trace, shoots through me once more.

"Are you okay, princess?" Levi clears his throat, breaking me out of my staring and I can feel my cheeks heat up at the knowledge that he caught me staring.

"Um," I stammer, not able to control my gaze as I glance between his eyes and chest, not quite able to stomach the smirk that now graces Levi's face. I clear my own throat and force myself to look up into his eyes. "Y-yeah, I just wasn't able to sleep."

Levi's cheeks are slightly red as well as he runs his hand through his wet hair and frowns at me. "I'm sorry. Is something wrong with your room? Is it too cold? I know it can get a little cold at night this far north."

"No, no that's not it." I shake my head and I pinch my bottom lip. It dawns on me that Levi must have been showering, and it takes everything in me not to picture him in that setting.

"Well, what's wrong?" Levi asks me, almost sounding concerned as I walk past him, heading to the kitchen for a glass of water.

Well, now it's the mental image of you shirtless, which has not changed, I think to myself but I just purse my lips, knowing that I can't say that. If I did, Levi would probably make it a goal to never be shirtless around me again, and no one wants that. So I frown once more and go for the second truth. Well, half of the second truth.

"Abri told me she's been staying here while you're gone," I tell him, feeling like I'm betraying Abri. Levi stops in the doorway and glances at me.

"She told you that?" Levi swallows and sits at the barstools across from me. I join him, leaning against the counter and nod. Levi sighs. "I'm surprised she told you."

"Why?" I ask him, not sure if I should be offended or not.

He shrugs. "She can take a minute to open up. She must really like you."

"Well, I really like her," I tell him honestly and I shift, taking a drink of my water. "Which is why it makes me nervous, her being here alone and so young."

"I know, me too." Levi sighs and rubs at his forehead. "But she had some valid points when I confronted her about it."

"Which were...?" I ask him, leaning forward.

"Well, this is her home," Levi tells me and I nod, encouraging him to keep going. "It's not fair to ask her to leave just because I'm not here. And if- uh- well, we don't know how long I'll be gone so—" Levi trails off, looking at me, really looking at me and I blush. Something tells me whatever he was going to say— oh. Oh. He was going to say if he never came back, if he stayed with me, she might be alone even longer. Levi shifts and sits up slightly. "But I know that she can handle herself. I made sure of it."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I ask him, leaning forward and taking his hand in mine. I flush slightly and find I can't bring myself to look him in the eye. "I mean, I'm sure you worry about her when you're not here."

"I do." Levi nods and I can sense as he adjusts on the stool once more. "But I also have to acknowledge that Abri is an adult now. My little sister, yes, but also an adult."

"Ouch," I try to joke and he chuckles.

"I know, right? She was just a little kid and now she's a full adult," he says, his voice both sad and proud.

"Luc did the same thing to me," I tell him, running my forefinger down his palm. "A little kid and then suddenly he was taller than me."

"Well, princess, that's not exactly hard," Levi drawls, his voice low and it sends a shiver through me.

"Hey!" I protest, a laugh erupting through my lips. "I am not that short!"

"You're pretty short," Levi jokes with me. My heart races as he stands and circles the kitchen counter, stopping to stand right in front of me. The look in his eye sends a jolt through me and I really think he's about to lean down and kiss me. Or maybe that's just what I'm hoping he'll do. Instead he just raises his hand and places it flat on the top of my head and measures it against his chest. "Yeah, see? I think Abri passed by you when she was ten."

"Not my fault you two are freakishly tall!" I protest and he laughs, a full belly laugh now.

"Freakishly tall?" he asks me, wrapping his arms around me and tilting, causing me to be unbalanced in his hug. "Who's freakishly tall now?"

"Still you!" I laugh as I struggle out of his grip.

He laughs too but when he speaks, his voice is low, "You like it though."

I almost choke. How did he know? I can feel my cheeks flush yet again and am grateful for the late hour and that he can't see my face as I smile. I force a chuckle but tell him the truth, "Yeah, yeah I do."

June 13th

6:45 pm

Dinner was awful. Completely awful. I wish I could say I'm surprised, but of course, Ambassador Flannigan behaved exactly as I had expected him to. Completely awful.

Klint Flannigan is very well known as being one of the most shallow and pretentious ambassadors in the room. I'm honestly not sure why Calgary keeps choosing him and I especially feel bad for his wife Evelyn. She's one of the sweetest wives, if a little airheaded. It's just unfortunate that she's married to one of the worst husbands.

I walk alongside Levi and Abri as we make our way to the gourmet ice cream shop down the street from the steak restaurant. I lean forward, looking across Levi to Abri. "I'm really sorry guys, Flannigan is really the worst."

I jump and glance around, making sure no one else overheard me.

"It's okay, Charlotte." Abri sighs as she links her arm through her brother's and leans into him. "It's not your fault he's a prick."

"Where did you learn the term 'prick'?" Levi teases his sister.

"I read books." Abri sticks her tongue out at him and he chuckles.

"Sure you do," Levi quips but it seems Abri is choosing to ignore it.

Levi smiles fondly at his sister and I feel warmth flood through me. I love how much he adores his sister and I love knowing how hard he's worked to provide for her. It makes me proud to know him, and ashamed to have known someone like Flannigan first.

We make our way to the ice cream shop and instantly, Abri's demeanor changes. Suddenly, she's bouncing from counter to counter, excited to try each of the goodies.

The ice cream shop is an over the top one. At one counter is the classic scoop station. Along another wall, the milkshake and malt bar boasts about the classics and the crazy concoctions and in the middle is the counter with the specialties. The ice cream sandwiches and bars float are illustrated in extreme detail. The best part about it though, the part that makes me the most happy, is that the workers are all dressed in old candy striper outfits.

"You're loving this place," Levi observes as we both watch his sister approach the milkshake counter and animatedly begin to build a custom shake.

"I mean, how can I not?" I ask him, shrugging my shoulders and wandering from counter to counter.

"It's pretty impressive," Levi agrees as he walks by me. As he passes, I flush as I feel his hand brush against my own. He grins back at me. "What are you thinking of getting?"

"Gah, I don't know, there's so many choices," I admit, following along behind him.

"You have to get a milkshake." Abri bounces over, shoving her monstrosity of a milkshake in our faces.

Levi pulls a face. "What even is that?"

"No idea." Abri's grin widens even more. "But I convinced him to use the black sprinkles, so it's clearly the best thing on the menu."

Levi looks back at me, his eyebrows raised and snorts, "Clearly."

I can't help but chuckle.

June 14th

4:20 pm

"You should look up, Charlotte, you might enjoy it more!" Levi chuckles as he revs his engine, causing me to squeal and shake my head no.

I don't know how he convinced me to get on the back of his motorcycle but now that I'm here, I'm regretting it even more than I thought I would. No, I do know how he convinced me. He asked and smiled and I would have said yes to anything. Nevermind that I've never been on a motorcycle before, nevermind that my father always expressly forbade it, nevermind I'm currently wearing a sundress. When Levi looked at me like that, I had no choice but to say yes. I'm not even sure I knew what I was agreeing to.

All I knew was Levi was standing in front of me, asking me out on a date. Of course I said yes as fast as I could. And for my enthusiasm, I am not on the back of Levi's motorcycle, hanging on to him for dear life.

It's not the worst position I've ever been in.

Just when I'm getting into the rhythm of leaning when Levi turns and am just about to open my eyes, Levi brings the loud thing to a halt. I almost yelp again as the motorcycle suddenly stops. Finally, after what feels like forever, I crack open my eyes. I smile, taking in the small park Levi's brought me to. The only problem, I think I'm stuck.

I struggle to figure out how to get off the bike, trying to figure out the logistics of it when I look up. Levi is watching me, smirking and I can feel a blush heat my cheeks.

"Help a princess out?" I ask, my voice muffled by the helmet I'm still wearing. Speaking of, I'm probably going to have the worst helmet hair now.

Levi only chuckles and holds out his hands, taking mine and helping me stay steady as I slide off the bike. I chuckle, nervously as I get my feet back under me. We didn't drive far, but it was long enough to make my legs unsteady. Of course, that could be because I was completely tense the whole drive. Maybe I'll try to make an effort to actually open my eyes on the way back.

"Here, let me help," Levi's voice is low as he reaches under my chin to undo my helmet strap. His fingers crush along my jaw and I can feel a trace of blush flame where his skin touches mine. It's an embarrassing reaction but I don't hate it.

"Thank you," I say softly as he lifts the helmet from my head. I smile up at him and I'm pleased to see he's grinning back.

I sigh, looking out at the spot Levi's brought me to. It's a simple place. A small field overlooking the hill, flowers cropping up everywhere and a tree providing just the right amount of shade. It's picturesque. It's perfect. Then I turn and find Levi spreading out a blanket for us and I can't help but smile.

Now, it's perfect.

Levi holds out his hand to me and I sit, putting all my princess training into action as I make sure that my skirt is positioned just so around me. Levi smiles again at me and begins unloading the picnic basket he'd packed and I have to know.

"How'd you find this place?"

"My mom took me here when I was a kid, and then brought me back when Abri was old enough," Levi explains as he focuses on setting everything out. I have to hand it to him, he thought of everything. We have sandwiches, water, fruit and cookies. A lovely lunch with a perfect man and when I look back at him, I melt a bit more. I love it when he talks about his mom. His features soften and while there's a sadness in his eyes, there's an unending love there too. He points out to the flower field. "We would get lost out in that field over there and we would race to see who could pick the biggest bouquet of flowers for mom in the littlest amount of time."

I smile, picturing it as I take the sandwich he offers me. "And who won?"

"Abri did." He grins, remembering. "But I always had the better bouquet."

I grin at him. This week has shown me another side to Levi. A softer side, a more feminine side. I'm not at all surprised there's this side to him, I'm just glad I get to experience it without all the interruptions at the palace.

Levi stays like that as he tells me more about his mom and his childhood and I find myself understanding him more. So often, I see him as the man who had to come back here and care for his sister. When I think of Levi I think of his strength, his control and his protectiveness. I still think of all of those things, but now I'm seeing his caring and supportive side. I'm seeing the man who came home from the coast guard and took care of his pre-teen sister. Now, I'm seeing the man who taught himself how to handle all of the girl stuff because his sister needed him. And I think I fall for him even more.

That's why it breaks my heart to hear him talk about thinking he'd never come back to his mother, or his sister. Levi's entire demeanor changes as he admits to things I can tell he's never discussed with anyone before. He was running, running from every fear and bad thing that happened to him in his childhood home. He was running from everything he was missing as his family grew and changed without him. I feel like I'm still not getting the entire story, but I know enough.

I know enough about the man sitting in front of me to know how much I would be missing out on if his wish would have come true. Everything would be different and I probably would be sitting here with someone very, very different. I know how grateful I am that that's not the case.

And then his words take a turn. He tries to convince me that everything he's done, everything he's become, is rooted in guilt and selfishness. I watch in horror as Levi condemns everything he's done, as he takes all he's become and twists it into something bad. I watch in even greater horror as a tear slips down his cheek.

"I was so ashamed of why I stayed away I told myself nothing like that would ever happen again," Levi tells me, a tone of determination in his voice. I look up to him, the same expression I know Abri gives him all the time, but he's not seeing me. All he's seeing is his faults and failures. He swallows and continues, "Abri would be taken care of and I made sure she knew that I didn't want to live without her. She would never be a reason I would need to stay away again."

"I'm sorry," I whisper, moving closer to him, almost as close to him as I was last night. All I can think to say is apologies, to explain to him how off base he really is. "I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. Everything with you dad and then your mom... I'm sorry you felt you had to stay away from your family, even with how much you care for them." He tries to wave off my words but I take both of his hands in mine, willing him to hear me. "I'm sure what you said is true, doing everything out of guilt, but isn't that how it starts sometimes? Doing a deed because you're ashamed of something? And then it turns into something else?"

Something in me feels desperate. Desperate to get him to hear me, to understand what I'm trying to tell him, to believe me. More than anything, I need Levi to believe me.

"I don't know, maybe, but—" He shakes his head and his voice sounds so broken that it's a stab to my heart. I won't hear it though.

"I think you can do both, Levi. Feel guilty but also do something because you care. And you care about Abri. Levi, I know you care about her," Once more I feel desperate. He ducks his head, but so do I, meeting his eyes once more. I'm not letting him hide from me as I say my piece. "She's your whole world, and no matter the reason for it, you take care of her because you want what's best for her."

"And maybe what was best for her when you were gone was your mom. And maybe you would have been too, but you'll never know. And when you came back home, you were the best thing for her. Whether or not the actions were out of guilt. You still did everything for her, and you still do. I don't see that as an act of guilt but an act of love," I swallow before continuing, because this feels like the more difficult part to say, to get him to hear. "And I don't think Abri would see it that way. I think she would see the sacrifice you made and know it couldn't have been purely out of guilt."

I watch as he breaks down in front of me to my words and I know I need to push forward, even as I reach out to wipe away his tears.

"Anyone could look at you and know that guilt and shame are not your reasoning for all you've done, Levi. I see it too. And I understand you doing things at first because you were ashamed, but remember, you were also grieving," I tell him, hoping beyond all hope that he hears me, that he trusts me enough to believe me on this. Yes, maybe guilt and shame played a part in his motivations, but he kept at it purely out of love. The fact that he still sees himself through that lens brings tears to my eyes. "You were grieving the life you could have had should you have stayed, you were grieving the years you missed spending with Abri, and you were grieving the death of your mom. It had to have been a lot on you, and grief does funny things to a person. You had a lot to grieve."

"I'm sorry," I whisper to him as I sit just in front of him. I press my forehead to his and let a tear of my own fall. I had not been expecting our date to take this turn but I am so humbled that he's letting me in this much. I gather myself and repeat my words, "I'm sorry you had to live with that feeling for so long, Levi. I truly am."

"Thank you," Levi whispers against my mouth as his hands reach up to cup my face.

I can feel it coming, in that instant, a kiss. Our first kiss took me completely by surprise but now I know it's coming. He needs comfort in this moment and I'm here, more than willing to provide it in any way he needs.

Too bad the universe has other plans for us.

Just when his lips are about to touch mine once more, a loud crack splits the earth. At least, that's how it feels. I just have enough time to gasp in surprise when the skies open up above us and rain comes pouring down, soaking us in mere moments. After that, everything seems to move in double time. Suddenly Levi's gathering up the blanket while I'm struggling to shove everything back into the basket.

We take off down the hill, running as quickly as possible and I can't help my scream as the sky lights up around us. Inside, inside, inside. I need to get inside somewhere, anywhere, as long as I'm safe. Inside is safe.

It hits me that we rode Levi's motorcycle here. That can't be safe and there is no inside. I can feel the panic rising in me but Levi is all action. He's already got the picnic stuff shoved into the small storage compartment, shoved both of our helmets on our heads and has swung his leg over the side of his bike. All before I can even make sense of what to do. Another flash of lightning streaks through the sky and spurs me into action.

I thought I kept a tight grip on Levi on the drive up here. It's nothing compared to my grip now.

We streak through the streets. I can feel the hammering of Levi's heart as I cling to him as he navigates the roads. Somehow it feels like it takes us twice as long to get back to his house as it took us to get up on the hill. When we finally get there, I don't even realize Levi's stopped the bike. All I know is he's moving in front of me in a completely different way and I can hear the rumble of his voice. I can't tell what he's saying. All I know is the fear that rolls through me as another rumble of thunder shakes the earth.

I don't realize what's happening. I have no idea what's going on around me. All I know is fear and cold and Levi, holding onto me as tightly as I'm holding onto him.

Soon, the sound is softer. I open my eyes and glance around, realizing we're inside. I take a deep breath and release it, my chest shaking as I do.

"Charlotte, hey," Levi's tone is low and coaxing and I hate that he has to apply it to me. His hand rubs up and down my back as I turn and wrap my arms around his middle. He chuffs and I can feel trails of warmth where his hands travel my back. "Hey, you have to let go now. You need to take a hot shower and get warm again. I'll still be here when you get back."

I shake my head in his chest. "But the storm—"

"We're in the house, we'll be fine." Levi pushes the wet hair behind my ears and off of my shoulders. "But you're shaking and freezing and I need you to get warm."

"I'm warm with you," I insist and really, I don't know where this side of me is coming from. I'm not usually so... clingy. All I know is last night when there was a storm, he was there for me. He held me until I dozed into sleep and it was the first time in years that I fell asleep during a storm. I think it's because of Levi. Because I feel safe with him. That means more to me than anything else.

"Hey," his voice is low and quiet as he tilts my chin up to look him in the eye. "I'll be here when you get back, but I need you to get warm. You won't be much warmer with me after a few minutes because I'm freezing too. We both need to take showers and get dry, and to do that, you have to let go of me."

I look into his eyes and I can see how serious he is. He's cold too but he's worried about me. He's doing his best to protect me from this storm and he feels guilty for putting me out into it in the first place. I nod my head and finally release him, turning to the bathroom.

Levi presses his lips to my forehead and leads me to the bathroom. Once I'm alone, I turn the water as warm as I can stand. Thunder rolls again and I hold in the scream. Okay, shower, right. Levi's right, I need to shower and get warm. Once the room is steaming up, I peel off my sundress and step in.

The warm water helps tremendously and soon the shaking I didn't realize I was doing stops. I run my hands through my hair, washing the rain from my red tipped locks. Levi's scent surrounds me and even in the hot water, I flush when I realize I've unconsciously been using his shampoo. And his soap. I set down the bottle, flustered with myself and I shake my head. I need to get out of here. Fast. For more reasons than just the danger of showering during a storm.

I slip out of the bathroom and cross into the guest bedroom Levi and Abri have lent me. Levi knocks lightly on the door as he passes, letting me know he put some clothes in here for me to change into. I flush as I notice them on the bed. His sweatshirt and what looks like a pair of sweatpants. I smile to myself and as thunder rolls through once more, I get to work on at least halfway drying my hair.

I hear the shower start back up and stop before I even get my hair dried and soon I can hear Levi's footsteps head back down the hallway. I glance out the curtain, hoping that maybe the storm has passed, but another streak of lightning wakes up the world and I squeal, knowing it's time to stop hiding in this room. It doesn't even have a closet for me to hide in. That means that the safest place in the house is by Levi's side. So I leave the small room and make my way back to the living room. I stop in the hallway leading towards the living room and smile. Levi's built me a fort. A safe place to ride out the storm and he's already inside.

Another crack of lightning fills the sky and thunder closely follows. I rush forward, crawling into the fort, landing right in Levi's arms. Right where I want to be most.

I huddle against him, burying my face in his chest. Levi doesn't say anything, doesn't hesitate, just wraps his arms around me and covers us both in an extra warm blanket. He holds me while the thunder rolls, almost as tightly as I held him on the motorcycle and I can't help but smile through my fear. He doesn't even know why I'm so terrified of storms. He just accepts it and holds me through the storm.

I feel him bury his nose in my hair and sniff. I can't help but smile to myself and then I realize what I've done.

"I— I felt wrong using Abri's without permission," I fib and watch as he smiles down at me.

"Smells nice," he teases me and my stomach flips. I love it when he uses that tone with me.

I grin back at him and snuggle in closer. "I thought so too."

"Are you warm now?" he asks me, still looking down at me, a softness in his eyes. He runs a hand through my hair, smoothing a few pieces back from my face and I close my eyes briefly at the touch.

"Very," I nod, thinking how happy I am at this moment, despite the storm. Just to prove I'm a liar, thunder rolls. I squeal and bury my face in Levi's chest. He doesn't laugh at me though, he just holds me tighter.

"Thank you, Levi," I murmur against his chest once the thunder settles down. He rubs my back once more and I open my eyes, looking up at him. He looks back at me and I feel like I have a million things I should be thanking him for, so I start listing just a few, "For getting me here and for a fun picnic, even if we did get rained out. And also for letting me squeeze you as tight as possible on the way back. And for the food, even if I didn't finish it, and also for letting me wear your sweatshirt again, and for letting me use your soap, and—"

Levi cuts me off as he presses his lips to mine. I don't have time to think about it, I just react as Levi's mouth moves against mine. All I can do is sink into the feeling and let his warmth wash over me. I sigh into the kiss, happy and content. Safe.

Somehow, Levi always makes me feel safe. Another thing I should thank him for.

I don't get the words out though, even as Levi pulls away from me. He gives me a small smile and whispers, "You're welcome."

I grin. He has no idea just how much I'm thankful but as he looks down at me, I think maybe he does. Maybe he does know. Maybe he does know and this is his way of telling me he knows because as we lock eyes, he leans down and presses his lips to mine once again.

I don't know how long we kiss, but boy am I grateful that Abri is out all night at Emmie's. Eventually, to the protest of every fiber of my being, we stop. Levi grins down at me as he leans back. I try to follow him but he only chuckles.

"Are you feeling any better?" he asks me, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I'm warm," I tell him as I shift. He loosens his grip on me but never lets me go and it makes me smile. It thunders again, but it's further off. I still startle, but at least it's not quite as loud. "And it sounds like the storm is moving on, so... yes. Better."

"Good." Levi sighs against me as he settles against the couch once more. I didn't realize we'd laid completely out on the floor. Now, Levi pulls us up mostly into a sitting position.

"It's all thanks to you," I tell him, snuggling deeper into his sweatshirt and his chest.

"I'll take that credit." Levi grins at me.

"You've earned it," I tell him. "Honestly, Levi, you have no idea how much this means to me. Everyone has always laughed at my fear of storms."

"It's a legitimate fear." Levi looks at me seriously. "That's nothing to laugh at."

"Yeah, well, most people think I should have grown out of it by the time my childhood was over," I tell him, a slight tinge of bitterness in my voice.

"I think I can guess who those people are," Levi murmurs and I nod.

"Yeah, you got it," I tell him. I sigh, hug him tightly, "I just— sometimes I feel like they look at me and still see the child. I feel like they don't always take me seriously."

"It's hard," Levi says softly and then it's his turn to sigh. "Look, Charlotte, I'm not trying to defend your parents—"

"But you're about to defend my parents?" I interrupt him, holding back the ironic smile.

"Yes, well." Levi shifts and clears his throat. "It's hard when you raise someone, okay? For so long, they're young and you are the center of their world. You're the one that provides for them and watches out for them and makes sure the world doesn't beat them down. And then you turn around all of a sudden, they're grown. And they don't need you anymore and you're left kind of in the dust. So it's kind of hard to put that side of your life aside."

"Wow," I say, looking up at him, my eyebrows raised.

"Yeah." Levi chuckles. "And I only raised half a kid. I can't imagine what it would be like to raise one from the start."

"Huh," I chuff softly. This is not the turn in conversation I thought this moment would take. I sigh. "I mean to be fair though, my parents had a team raising us. Mostly nannies."

Levi chuckles and rubs at his chin. "Okay, yeah. But still. I bet that at least contributes to it. At least a little."

"Maybe," I allow, tilting my head. "At least I hope it's that and not the alternative."

"The alternative being..." Levi trails off waiting for me to fill in the blank.

"That they don't actually take me seriously," I tell him, a new fear filling me. "That I'm not doing a good enough job to be taken seriously."

"Not possible." Levi shakes his head, a fierceness in his tone now.

I roll my eyes. "Levi, I—"

"I'm serious, Charlotte." Levi tilts my chin up to look him in the eye once more. "There's no way that's possible. You're doing a great job. I mean, look at the other night, any other person would have gone off on Ambassador Flannigan. I know, because my sister did. But you handled it with the utmost poise and respect for everyone at the table. You got this Charlotte, you're going to be an amazing queen."

"Thank you." I smile at him softly and lean up, pressing my lips to his once more.

"Anytime, princess," Levi murmurs, a smile gracing his lips as well. "Anytime."

June 15th

10:45 am

I sneeze for what feels like the hundredth time this morning and I moan. I never thought I would spend time on one of my home visits sick beyond all sick. Actually, it's been awhile since I've been this sick. And of course this is happening in front of Levi.

Speak of the handsome devil, a knock sounds at my door. I moan and he must take that as an invitation to come in. I mean, it's not like it wasn't but I'm not exactly pleased that he's seeing me like this.

"I brought you some tea," Levi tells me, his voice soft.

"Tea sucks," I whine even as I reach out for the hot mug.

He chuckles as he hands it over. "I know. I know coffee is better, but tea will make you feel better."

"Levi?" I ask, my voice raspy. He quirks an eyebrow at me and I grin. "Can you hug me for a little? You have the best heat."

"Oh so you're using me as a heating blanket now?" Levi teases me, even as he gathers me in his arms. I sigh against him as he holds me, my back to his chest.

"Yes, yes I am," I acknowledge what I'm doing as I take a sip of my tea. I grimace as I almost spit it out and I can feel Levi chuckle.

"As long as I know where I stand," Levi whispers into my hair and I snuggle deeper into him. He wraps my blanket around my shoulder more tightly and asks, "How are you feeling?"

"Not much has changed," I admit and I sigh. "I'm really sorry, Levi."

"What are you sorry for? It's my fault that you're sick." Levi rubs my arms and I gape at him, even though he can't see me.

I cough. "Why would you think that? This is probably due to four weeks of travel! I haven't been keeping up with my vitamins as much as I should have been."

"I put you out in that storm, it's all my fault, Charlotte." I can tell Levi is shaking his head and I try to turn to look at him but he has me so wrapped up I can't.

"No, Levi, it's not," I tell him, sighing. "It's not like you can control the weather."

"Still, I should have checked the weather." Levi wraps his arms around my shoulders and I love how warm he is at my back.

"Like the forecast is always right." I roll my eyes once more before they start to drift closed. "Seriously, Levi," I yawn. "You can't blame yourself. Besides, you've taken such good care of me."

"I try," Levi murmurs in my hair as he reaches around and takes the mug of tea from my hands. He slips out from behind me and tucks me back into bed. "Get some rest, Charlotte. And feel better."

I murmur my thanks back and I can only hope that he understands me as I doze back into sleep. I really hope I feel better by the end of the day.

—

I wake up a few more times throughout the rest of the day. While I was sick and exhausted, I was also restless. Thank goodness Levi and Abri understood. Several times throughout the day I moved from the bedroom to the couch. Everytime Levi would turn on a different movie for me. Pitch Perfect, The Greatest Showman, Little Women and Love, Actually. I only ever made it about halfway through, but I appreciated it all the same.

Now it's late. I can tell I've been sleeping all day because I feel more restless than ever before. I swing my legs over the side of the bed that I don't remember going back to, and stand, moving to the window. For it being June, it's still chilly and I have to wonder if it ever actually gets warm this far north. I stretch, feeling better than I have all day and shiver. Seriously Calgary, it's mid-June.

I pull Levi's sweatshirt over my head and head down to the kitchen. It's time for another dose of ibuprofen and a glass of water. Hopefully it'll be my last dose. On my way out, I grab one of the many afghans Levi has piled up around me today and throw it around my shoulders. I just can't seem to get warm enough today.

I head downstairs and am not at all surprised to find Levi there. He's been there, ready and waiting all day. He's worked hard, making sure I had what I needed, kept warm and kept hydrated all day.

"Charlotte," Levi says, standing from his spot at the counter, no doubt to get something for me. I wave him off, moving to the fridge myself. He frowns at me but asks, "Are you feeling any better?"

"Much better actually, but I think sleeping all day will do that." I nod, smiling back at him. I chuckle, but it sends a pain shooting through my head so I stop almost immediately. I move to the cabinet I've watched Levi go to all day, easily finding the medicine and getting another dose for myself. "I just came down for another dose of ibuprofen and some water for a headache. Another thing sleeping all day will do."

"Come here," he says softly, motioning me towards him. I shuffle forward after taking the small pills and flush as he checks my temperature. I can feel my blush creep along as his hand moves from my forehead to my cheeks. He seems content with the loss of my fever and I have to swallow as I see the look in his eye. "You seem much cooler now."

I can't help but feel slightly disappointed as he takes his hand away. I look up at him, almost wishing for my fever back. I swallow and nod. "That's good."

"It is." Levi nods and I'm almost disappointed when he keeps his distance.

What am I saying? I've been sick all day. Of course he's keeping his distance. He doesn't want to catch whatever it is I came down with. And I need to protect him as well.

"Well," I say, pulling back and pulling the blanket tighter around my shoulders. "I think I'll try to get back to bed."

"Okay," Levi says, his voice tight. "Goodnight, Charlotte."

Am I imagining things or does he seem as disappointed as I feel? As I leave the room, I pass by him, running my hand along his elbow and sigh, a bit defeated.

"Night, Levi."

June 16th

2:33 pm

"That was really fun, thank you for taking me," I tell Levi as we come in through the door. I wasn't expecting much from today. Well, I had actually been expecting to feeling pretty crappy from my cold I had yesterday. But this morning, I woke up feeling mostly recovered. So naturally, I wanted a redo on the date that got interrupted.

So Levi took me bowling.

The last time I went bowling was on one of the group dates early on in the Selection. I don't think I actually got to bowl much. No, back then I was still trying to get to know everyone. I spent most of my time talking and either throwing away my turn or letting someone else take it. This time... well I sucked. Yeah, I was really bad. But gradually I got better, thanks to Levi's help.

Levi did his best to help me the longer we played. He showed me that I was twisting my wrist too much, and using too heavy of a ball. He showed me how to follow through on my throw and how not to slip in the shoes. The trick there is not to celebrate too much. By the end of our session, my wrist was completely sore and I got my first strike!

Honestly, I don't care if I won or lost. Which is good because I lost. By a lot. A lot, a lot. I was just happy that I didn't waste another day Levi and I had together.

"Only you would have that much fun bowling." Levi chuckles lightly, grabbing my elbow as I almost trip over the coffee table.

"Well, it helps when my game actually improves," I tell him, holding my wrist with my other hand. "Even if my wrist starts to hurt."

"I told you to stop over twisting on your release." Levi sighs and shakes his head. He crosses into the other room to grab me some ibuprofen. He hands me a pill and a glass of water. "Here, take this. It'll help."

"That's what you said yesterday too," I tell him over the rim of my cup. He grins at me and I can't help but grin back.

"And I was right then too." Levi grins. He takes a step closer to me and gently places his hands on my waist. He frowns down at me. "Are you sure you're okay?"

I glance up at him and set aside my glass. I wind my arms up on his shoulders and smile. "Levi, I told you, I'm fine."

"If you're sure." Levi ducks his head, coming close, so, so close.

"I'm positive, I promise," I assure him.

"Good, then I can do this." He grins as he suddenly takes my hand in his, spins me out and away from him and then pulls me back to him. I squeal in surprise and delight as he continues to push me out and away from him, then pulling me back in, swaying us to a beat only in his head.

"Hang on, hang on," I pant as I pull away from him. He pouts at me as I cross the open room but I only smile as I turn to the stereo and push several buttons. I rush back to him when music fills the room, grinning from ear to ear. I raise my hands. "Okay, now I'm ready."

Levi chuckles, placing his hands back on my waist and in my waiting hand. Soon, he's leading me through a dance once more. We go through several songs, Levi leading me through a waltz and then into some swing. It's just like our lessons all over again and I am in bliss. This is everything I could have wanted. Me and Levi, dancing and laughing and just being together.

This is the home visit I've been craving these past five weeks. One that brings me closer and a better understanding of the Selected. The one where I feel like I'm home as well.

And with Levi, I'm home.

I'm just looking up at him, about to tell him what's on my mind when the door bursts open.

"Awe, look at you two," Abri coos from the doorway. Levi and I come to a halt, looking at her, looking at us. She has this weird look on her face but when she glances up at her brother, she seems to snap out of it. Her usual grin quirks her lips on one side. "Dang Charlotte, you weren't kidding. He can dance... kind of."

"Hey, I said he was a good dancer." I hold up my hands when Levi looks at me, fake insulted. "Levi, I promise."

"Oh, so this is all you," Levi says, dropping my hands and reaching over, pulling his sister in under his arm and ruffling her hair. After a few minutes of protest, he lets her straighten up. "Okay, little sister, let me show you what I've learned."

I watch from the sidelines as Levi leads his sister clumsily in a waltz. I can't help but chuckle as they stumble a few times and Abri pulls back from her brother.

"Charlotte, I thought you said he was good!" She gently smacks his arm and stands next to me, raising her eyebrow at me. "I'm calling your bluff. You are the one actually leading, aren't you?"

"No." I shake my head at her. Levi grins at me and executes a perfect bow, holding his hand out to me. I grin as I give a small curtsy before placing my hand in his. Levi pulls me to him, moving me effortlessly into the waltz he was previously failing at with his sister. He leads me through a few sets of the steps and then spins me out, spinning me back to him so my back is to his. It's my favorite move and when I place my hand lightly in his, crossing my waist, I have to actively try not to swoon. He gives me a look, like he knows what I'm thinking and I have to steady myself. Levi winks at me and I blush. I clear my throat and look back at Abri. "I think it was a partner issue."

"Yeah," she says slowly, like she has a secret knowledge herself. "Yeah, I think it's all about the partner."

June 18th

9:35 am

"I'll see you soon," whispering the words feels like eating rocks. I don't want to see Levi soon. I want him to come home with me. Now. I don't want to be away from him. Even for a few days.

But I have to.

"I'll be there," Levi tells me and I hold the words to me like the promise they are. I look up at him and suddenly, he's reaching down and I'm reaching up and we're hugging. We're clinging to each other like if we let go all of the last ten days will disappear.

It's insane. I've spent the most time with him and yet now as we stand at the end of it all, it feels like it's not enough. I cling to him like if I let him go it all ends. Like if I let him go, I'm letting him go forever.

I don't want to let him go. I never want to let him go.

"Princess," Chatham's voice calls out and both Levi and I tense. "I'm sorry, but we need to be leaving."

I look up at Levi. This close, he has very few facial features, but still I can read the emotion in his eyes. We're both dreading the moment we have to let go and still it barrels towards us.

"I don't want to go," I whisper, fear and longing filling my voice.

"I know." Levi nods, understanding filling his face. He holds me tighter to him and leans down, to whisper in my ear. "I don't want you to go either."

"Glad we're on the same page." I try to chuckle but for whatever reason a sadness weighs down my laugh. Levi doesn't say anything else, just holds me to him a moment longer and takes a deep breath, steadying himself. Then he does the thing I've been dreading most.

He steps back and takes me by the hand, leading me to the car and opening the door for me. When I'm settled into the car and he finally has to let me go, he looks me in the eye and ducks his head, kissing me on the cheek. "Safe travels, princess. I'll see you soon."

"Hurry back," I beg him, looking up at him with wide eyes. I don't even care that Bard and Chatham are in the front seat.

Levi's lips quirk in a smile. "I will do my best, princess."

"I'm holding you to that," I tell him, still not wanting to let him go.

"You do that." Levi chuckles as he slowly closes my door. "You do that."