All week I have been paired up with Ao'nung and I wanted to off myself. Like I was seriously about to either kill myself or him. He has been spewing the same bullshit all week, and it was getting on my last nerve. I was already on edge because after me and Neteyams walk on the beach I decided it was best for me to let go of my feelings, so that I could be a better... sister. I almost gagged.
Not talking to him was killing me, it was like a piece of me was missing. I wanted him to hold me and I wanted to tell him everything thats been going on. But I didn't want to load all my problems onto him. Neteyam barley even comes to me when he's upset, I'm supposed to be there for him. I wondered how he was doing and if he was finally a bit more comfortable on his Ilu.
" Are you upset? Are you going to run to mommy? Oh wait." Roxto giggled next to Ao'nung.
They had the mindset of a three year old. If I didn't know any better I would say they would make good friends with Lo'ak.
" I can't help imagining how much better the world would have been if your dad would have just pulled out."
" Watch it orphan, you wouldn't want me telling my dad that you're causing problems."
I rolled my eyes but smiled at him. It was a wide smile, a smile that they could see my fangs.
After our signing lesson I walked back to the Hut. I still didn't understand the signs, even with learning english it wasn't that hard. I usually caught things pretty fast but recently I've just been off. My head wasn't in the right place.
I miss Ale. What I would do to just go on a ride right about now.
I walked into the hut and the only person there was Neytriri, who was cutting up some dried fruit. I sat down next to her and started helping. I hadn't really spoken to her or Jake this week. I didn't know what to say, I didn't want to make it awkward by telling them about what had been going on so I said nothing and acted like me and Ao'nung where getting along. I almost cut my finger thinking of Ao'nung and what I wanted to do to him. Most of it was hanging him in a tree upside down in front of hungry Slinger.
" What is wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong." I said immediately. Damn you dagger.
She did the stare thing.Its a hard stare, it usually makes any of us break.Once it is directed at you there was no escaping it. I REFUSED TO BE WEAK!
I started to sweat as her eyes bared down on me. The mom stare was an unbeatable power.
I couldn't stand the weight of the stare anymore, I crumbled.
" I just feel like I don't belong here."
It was a half truth. I wasn't lying either so it would have to suffice.
" Aw Riti." she scooted closer to me and put her hand on the back of my neck. She knew I felt uncomfortable with being comforted. I was fine with giving it but receiving it was just made me feel awkward.It made me feel like I was fragile. I didn't like it.
I smiled at her, " it just seems like everyone is getting used to it here...but I'm just not."
I shrugged looking down at my hands, " I miss home."
She put her hands into mine, " It is okay to feel that way. I feel the same."
I looked at her, it was nice to know that someone felt the same, instead of just telling me that we would adapt and get used to it.
" The ocean is beautiful, but it will never come close to what I feel for the forest."
I hesitated, " Do you think...Do you think we'll ever be able to go back?"
She sat back and looked at me, " I do not know...but I hope so."
That wasn't the answer I was hoping for.
" As long as we are together then we can make a home. But Riti you are not alone.The forest will always be apart of us, and being here makes no difference . Now to be honest, I have no idea what they are doing with their fingers."
I laughed, and she joined me. It was nice, she wasn't giving me some fictional hope that we were going to go home, nor was she telling me that we were going to go home. But she was telling me that I wasn't alone, she was letting me know that she is struggling too. And that meant more to me than false promises.
That evening we talked and laughed, telling stories of the forest. She told me memories of young Neteyam and young Kiri. It felt like I had a mom. I never called her mom because I always thought she wouldn't be comfortable with it but I always wanted to. One day I hope I will be able to say it to her with ease.
The next day
Lo'aks Pov:
I just finished another breathing lesson with Tsireya. I finally got the fucking shell ,it was about time. Tsireya was proud of me too, I had to admit my ego went up when she held my hand, there definitely weren't butterflies, Nope, and I totally didn't blush like a little girl.. I was walking back to the hut when I heard them.
" Ao'nung maybe it's time we let off off the orphan."
Who the hell was named Orphan? Who's parents would hate their kid that much? Maybe they named them orphan because they hated them, they wanted to make them an orphan.
" Nah, she won't tell. She's too scared that they'll kick her out."
" But still her dad is Toruk Makto.."
"He told her to make friends with us. That's the only reason why she hasn't done anything. Nothing changes the fact that I'm the chiefs son."
Were they talking about Kiri? Why would they call her orphan though? I would kill them for saying shit like that to her.
" But what if her dad told your dad.We would be in so much shit."
" We aren't even saying anything that bad..."
"..."
" fuck."
I would kill them. They've been bullying my sister? I peered behind the hut I was hiding behind, I was going to wreck their shit. That's when I saw Kiri walk by and Ao'nung and Roxto said nothing to her. Still talking amongst themselves.
" Lo'ak what are you doing?"
I grabbed Kiris arm and pulled her in the opposite direction.
" Have Ao'nung and Roxto been picking on you?"
She gave me a confused look, "No?"
" Don't lie to me, are they calling you an orphan?"
" What? No. Lo'ak what?"
It didn't look like she was lying. Then it occurred to me, Riti. God how could I have been so stupid? She hasn't been herself recently. I mean she still says her sarcastic comments and laughs when its appropriate but she has been separating herself from Neteyam and hanging out with Ao'nung. She hates Ao'nung ,and she would never choose to spend time with Ao'nung over Neteyam. She's been zoning out a lot during dinner and she doesn't really joke or partake in lessons anymore. Riti always jokes, always. It almost pains her to be serious, I mean unless she's with Neteyam. That's a whole different story. Even Neteyam is confused on why she has been ignoring him and ditching him.
" Lo'ak?" Kiri waved a hand in front of my face.
I felt rage. " I think Riti's been getting bullied."
Kiri immediately shook her head, " No way. Riti would never let anyone bully her."
Usually I would have agreed, Riti was strong willed, no one could walk all over her, she wouldn't allow it.
" Think about it. Dad said not to cause any trouble and Riti hasn't been herself lately."
"We would have noticed if they were saying anything to her."
" She's been hanging out with Ao'nung and Roxto a lot lately."
" Neteyam wouldn't stand for it."
" She hasn't been hanging out with Neteyam."
Realization sparked in her eyes "....shit."
Exactly, you know something is up if Riti isn't hanging out with Neteyam. They went everywhere together. You didn't have one without the other, you just didn't.
" We have to tell dad."
" Kiri no.They'll just continue to pick on her if they find out we told."
" Dad will understand Lo'ak."
" No he won't. We don't even have any proof!"
Kiri was adamant that we told dad. But what would happen if we told him and he didn't do anything? Or he told the chief and then there was no way we were going to have peace with each other. My blood boiled, Riti was strong but even she wasn't invincible. I didn't give a shit that Riti wasn't born into our family, I was her brother. It was my job as her brother to make sure that I Was there for her when she needs me, and piss her off most days. Mostly she's always there for me, always cheering me up when I get in trouble, giving me comfort even when I don't want it. I haven't been the best brother I could have been and I felt guilty as hell for it now. Hell I knew something was up but I didn't even talk to her about it.
" We're telling dad Lo'ak."
I sighed. Fine. We'd tell dad but if that didn't work then we'd do it my way.
That night
3rd person Pov:
Lo'ak and Kiri had told Jake the situation and to say the man was conflicted was an understatement. He had always been close to the girl, her kind heart not judging him for his actions as much as his family sometimes did. She was an understanding kid..and a lonely one. If he talked to the chief then there would be no peace for either party, if he did nothing then it showed the kids that he cared more about being civil than he cared about Riti. Which wasn't true at all, if he had it his way he would have rung the kids out by their necks and forced them to apologize to her. He had a feeling something had been up, especially after overhearing her conversation with Neytiri. He felt like shit, he raised her like his own but he hadn't even bothered to ask what had been wrong. He didn't know if orphan was the only insult directed at her but he should have known something was up when she walked into the tent that one day. The look on her face was not one he saw on her a lot. He shouldn't have scolded her, he should have asked why she was upset. Instead he forced her to hangout and kiss her bully's asses. That encouraged them to walk all over her. She hadn't even told anyone, that killed him more than anything. She still thought she was alone.... Jake decided to talk to Riti first before he came to any decision.
He found her looking up at the stars, unsurprisingly.
" You know I never understood your obsession with the stars."
" It's cause I'm a narcissist."
He snorted and laid down next to her, Riti's name was star. It was fitting for the girl, Neteyam would always say she shinned bright in the dark.
They laid there in silence before Riti broke it, " What is it that you want from me old man?"
She knew something was up he never just decided it was Riti time, she usually decided that.
"...Lo'ak told me that Ao'nung and his friends were picking on you."
Her smile faltered, " Nah, that's just how they joke around."
" Common sweetheart." He sat up and placed a hand on her head.
"Really everything is fine."
" It's okay for everything not to be fine, not everything has to be okay sweetheart."
She sat up and watched her hands but still said nothing. Not that Jake was expecting her too.
" Have you talked to Neteyam?"
She shook his head and his worry increased. He might be older now but he recognized those looks, those fleeting touches. He knew what they meant, Neteyam and Riti had a bond like no one else. If anyone was going to help her open up it would be him.
"Kid, you know that we love you right?"
She looked up at him shocked as he brought her into a hug.
"It's okay to tell me things, I'm not going to love you any less. It's my job as a parent to make sure that you feel comfortable enough to come to me when you'er having a hard time and I'm sorry I haven't been doing that."
Jake felt his heart break a little when she squeezed him back, she had never been one to seek comfort, in fact she felt uncomfortable with it most days. So the fact that she was soaking this up meant that she has been really stuck in her head.
" Thank you Jake."
He patted the back of her head, " Call me dad, Riti."
" We'll get to that." He laughed and she giggled.
Jake knew that she wasn't 100% there was only one person who could truly get her out of this stump .... He had to talk to his son.
—----------------
When he found Neteyam after walking away from Riti to enjoy some peace alone, he found his son sitting looking up with the stars with his feet in the water. Jake shook his head, amused.
" What are you doing here son?"
Neteyam immediately got up, " Nothing, sir."
Jake waved him down, " I need to talk to you."
Neteyam's ears went down, usually that meant that Lo'ak did something.
" You're not in trouble, neither is Lo'ak."
He immediately relaxed, but was heavily confused " What did you want to talk to me about?"
Neteyam had to admit this was a little weird.
" Riti..have you spoken to her lately?"
Neteyams ears and tail twitched, " No, she's been avoiding me....she keeps on hanging out with Ao'nung and his friends." His jaw clenched, he was seriously confused and hurt by his best friend ditching him.
Jake sighed scratching the back of his neck, " Son, that might have been my fault."
" what?" Neteyam was staring at his dad, eyes green in the moonlight.
" Last week I came outside and it looked like she was arguing with Ao'nung. I told her to make peace with him and befriend them...I told her that she wasn't allowed to be taught by anyone else."
Neteyam looked ahead, ashamed at himself. He knew Riti better than that. Yet he had been blaming her for ditching him, when he knew she would never do that. He felt embarrassed as he thought of the many moments of jealousy watching them together. Yet he didn't see her smile not once.
" Son that isn't all though."
Jake put a hand on Neteyams neck, "She's been having a tough time, and you know Riti. She wants everyone to think she's fine so she doesn't bother anyone but Neteyam, she needs you. She only opens up to you."
Netyeam immediately got to his feet to go run to Riti, as soon as he heard she was having a hard time. How did he not notice? He paused though, he was tired of this back and forth. He wanted her to be his.
" Dad, I need some advice."
Jake held back his smile knowing where this was going. He acted passive like he had no idea.
" When I'm with Riti...I don't feel like she's just a friend to me... I feel like she's so much more. When she is around My heart beats out of my chest, her laugh is like music to me, and I swear she is the most beautiful girl in the world. I want to show her how much she means to me ." He hesitated, " but she's my best friend. I don't know if she feels the same way and what if I tell her about how I'm feeling and it ruins our friendship?"
" son...how would you know if you don't try? Are you really willing to go throughout your entire life holding back these feelings? If your bond is as strong as I think it is, then a rejection won't be able to break it... hell a breakup won't be able to break what you two have." He laughed.
" I know the look you guys give each other, and let me tell you son, a rejection doesn't seem to be in the future for you."
Neteyam smiled at his dad and Jake nodded, " Go get your girl son."
Neteyam ran off into the distance and Jake sat there laughing to himself. Neytiri and him had made a bet long ago when they first saw the blushes and looks they gave to each other, even as kids. It was to see how long it took them to get together.
It seemed as if his wife won.