"When Rachel was announced, I can't lie I was yawning. How can you look so leng during the day, but a nitbag in the morning?" Chip starts. "You go, queen!" Holly claps her hand, making him laugh.
"My name is Chipo Crimes, and you know I won't lack. Walahi Balahi Talahi, this girl's only personality trait is her back." He shrugs, making everyone laugh. "He's got this in the bag." Holly covers her face. "I knew that was coming." Billy nods.
"Rachel thinks she's bad, she thinks she can hurt me. But, look at the state of her teeth cast me, bro, I know that shit's from Turkey." He says, making everyone gasp.
"But Rachel when you have kids, I'm curious who will be the farther. The type of dons you go for might be the Nigerian Jeffery Dahmer." He smiles, making everyone lean back in their seats. "Look at Rachel fanning herself, the heat is rising." Holly laughs.
"That made no sense." Billy shakes his head. "No sense at all, exactly." Rachel laughs, pointing in Billy's direction. "Oh my god, my bars are so cold, you would think I'm Siberian. The way this girl seasons her chicken, I can't believe she's Nigerian." Chip shakes his head.
"My chicken was sick wasn't it though?" Rachel asks, the housemates. "It was alright." Holly shrugs.
"She also claims she's resilient, and we know she'll make Max nuts swift. But, the only Brazilian in you is that Brazilian bum lift." Chip finishes. "That was cold." Holly claps her hand. "All natural baby." Rachel stands up.
"Chip you're such a simp, if your girlfriend had a dick it would constantly limp." Rachel starts, making Holly gasp. "Most annoying guy on fellas, and I know calfred makes you jealous." Rachel reads, making Chip look down.
"Man said Calfred." Holly laughs, leaning back. "All you do is smell shit, it's actually vile. Oh wait, and I heard your girl's a paedophile." Rachel laughs, making Holly stand up. "To clarify quickly, I'm not a perv." She looks into the camera.
"Sorry Holl's." Rachel looks at the girl, as she sits back down. "Not forgiven." She jokes, looking back at the girl. "Talking about paedophiles how are you waking up with a semi? Next to a guy that's nine years younger than you." She says, making Chip point towards Holly.
"That brother is a little bit sus, and I know if your girlfriend wasn't in the bed next to you, you'd probably suck his nuts." Rachel nods, making Billy throw his arms around Kate and Holly. "What? Nah, she means that." The boy points at Rachel.
"What did I do?" Max turns to look at Holly. "I heard you've been on YouTube for years, yet I still don't know who the fuck you are. That'd be my biggest fear. I saw you crying over Harry, and you're meant to be the most popular guy. Yet, you're still after GK Barry." Rachel pretends to mic drop.
"I've just been violated, there's no way I'm coming back from it." Chip shakes his head. "What about me?" Holly shakes her head, walking to the front. "Nah, she meant that." Billy says. "I don't mean it." Rachel shakes her head. "Don't worry about it, girl." Chip waves her off.
"Holly will be crying tonight, as she's been called a paedophile before. Haven't you love?" Grace looks at Holly.
"Yeah, sadly I have. And they couldn't be more wrong. I was with my brother and sister, who are like four and six years younger than me." Holly explains.
"But it happened to the best of us. Do you know what I mean?" Grace questions.
"No, I don't. How do I get called a paedophile for being with my brother and sister?" The brunette shrugs.
"We'll never know." Grace shakes her head.
"We've got a South London girl, and a raging tory." Grace reads, before passing the paper to Holly. "From fighting over a short king to rimming each other's assholes. Okay, you definitely wrote this." Holly laughs, passing the paper back to her. "We've got Kate and Destini." Grace nods.
"First of all let's clear things up. You weren't a part of the love triangle, Ilyas just knew he could easily get your legs in a tight angle. I mean come on you've made it clear you're easy. I know all the boys are passing you around like a frisbee." Destini starts.
"Half a million subscribers, and you were still in the bottom three. With a body count like yours, no one's ever getting down on one knee." She shakes her head, making people gasp.
"Nah, I'm just joking, she's perfect as she is, she's a tory and by the way, the votes weren't lying, because you do bore me. Oh Kate, your tall and on top of that you're lanky. People must be confused, do you identify as a he or she?" Destini leans closer to the blonde.
"She really thought she done something like that." Holly laughs, in the storeroom. "Like, hun come on. You can do better than that." Holly shakes her head.
"Destini, Destini, where do I begin? Should I start with the first night, where you were basically getting rimmed?" Kate starts, making everyone's mouths open in shock. "I was not expecting this from her." Holly shakes her head.
"Trying it on with Yung Filly's mate, we see straight through it. Exposure is the goal right, don't misconstrue it." The blonde says, making everyone gasp. "Vocabulary." Billy nods. "What does misconstrue mean?" Holly asks cluelessly. "interpret a person's words it's actions wrongly." Kate turns to look at her.
"Day ten is upon us, and you were crying in bed all afternoon. Ilyas clearly wasn't available to be the little spoon." Kate finishes. "That was better than I expected, I can't lie." Holly applauds.
"Next we have got most boring verses most desperate." Holly nods, making people laugh. "This is the part of the show where people will skip forward." Grace shrugs. "So not last but literally least, Ilyas and Liv." Holly claps her hands, walking to the bench.
"I'm gonna keep this short and sweet, and I'm not gonna lack. You're the only girl in here, that ain't got a back. It should've been Olivia and not Harry. You're the only one here, who won't get to sit down with GK Barry." Ilyas points to the podcaster.
"If you didn't make coffee for the mandem every morning, I would've voted for you to dip. Now it makes sense why you packed up all your shit." He shrugs, making everyone laugh.
"I knew Kate was gonna come for me, and her dad voted Brexit. When I saw those teeth yesterday, I knew she had to exit." Ilyas turns to Kate. "Where do I come into it?" The blonde sits up straight and points to herself.
"I'm done." Ilyas says. "Fuck sake." Billy shakes his head. "I'm done." Ilyas rips up his piece of paper. "He roasted me!" Kate shouts.
"Tried it with Destini, and then Kate. They both just looked at each other and laughed, and said huh he's just a mate." Liv starts, making everyone laugh. "Come on Livvy." Holly shouts, hyping her up.
"Fuck you're in the friend zone, go and speak to Max. He'll teach you how to make a girl moan." Liv smiles, making Holly look to the ground. "I will, I will." Max repeats, looking at the camera.
"Looking like the oldest in the house, you'll never get a girl when you're the size of a mouse." Liv laughs, putting her head on the table. "Her laughs are so cute." Holly laughs. "I'm so sorry, I'm nearly done." Liv tells Ilyas. "No, keep going." He tells her.
"Locked in season three got you thinking you're careers on the men. But, you are only here, because of your friends." Liv finishes. "Ahh, there you go, that was a good one, I liked the ending." Ilyas nods. "You did great girl." Holly tells Liv.
"Kate, you had to get it." Ilyas looks at the blonde. "What the hell? That was so unnecessary." Kate tells him. "There's no safety in this room right now." Billy shakes his head.
"To be honest, I feel like she did better than most people would've expected her to. So, go Liv." Grace explains messing around with her bottle.
"She really did bless her. But there were a couple of people that surprised me." Holly looks at the camera.
"Like who?" Grace asks her.
"Well for starters there was Kate, Liv, and you." Holly lists, looking at the blonde.
"What was your favourite part about Grace's?"
"Definitely the part about my parents catching me and Chip." Holly laughs shaking her head.
"Right, we now have Me and the twig herself, Holly Lewis." Grace claps her hand, as she sits at the table. "Ahh, you slag." Holly shakes her head. "Who's going first?" Billy asks, the two girls shrugging. "Grace, you go first." Chip points to her.
"You think you're the shit when in reality you just chat it. How cheapskate are you, spending all of Josh's p's." Grace starts. "That's true." Chip nods his head. "No, it's not." Holly turns to him. "Shut up." Grace tells them, making everyone laugh.
"You live under a rock, that is smaller than your boyfriend's cock. You have no personality, the same with your tits. Apparently, you're good at sucking dick, and the clit." She shrugs. "Do you wanna find out?" Holly looks at Grace.
"No!" Chip shouts standing up, and making everyone look at him. "Are you alright love?" Holly asks in an American accent. "Yeah, I'm good." He nods, sitting back down.
"I'm jealous of the people who don't know you. God, please take me back so I don't have to put up with her shit." Grace looks up. "You silly bitch." Holly shakes her head.
"Talking about shit, you said you eat ass. Must be why your ex cheated on you, she obviously has some class." Grace squints her eyes, trying to read the next line. "That woman is the furthest thing away from Class, trust." Holly itches her head.
"Imagine being cheated on, couldn't be this Donny here. Together for four years, and she cheated like it was funny. This just proves, that no gyal wants you." Grace scoffs, making everyone oooo, and Holly lean back in her seat and yawn.
"Even though you're a bi-con you're dating this geezer here." The blonde laughs, pointing at Chip. "You were clearly embarrassed, having to hide him for nearly five years." Grace smiles and Holly, as the brunette waves her hands around.
"You're done, you are done." Holly clicks with every word. "Let me finish, I have a little bit left."Grace shushes her. "Okay, girl." Holly holds her hands up.
"You said you were sly, but mummy and daddy saw you riding this guy." Grace looks to Chip again, making everyone gasp. "How does she know that?" Chip looks accusingly at Holly. The brunette just shrugs and looks to the side of the room.
"Oh, who's Holly again? Isn't she that wroetoshaw guy's sister?" Grace itches her head, finishing her roast. "That was... that was cold." Holly nods, shaking Grace's hand. "I'm still confused about how she knows about your parents walking in on us." Chip looks at Holly.
"Erm, I don't know either." The brunette laughs awkwardly. "You told her didn't you?" Chip points at her. "And us." Liv, Kate and Rachel all day. " well, thanks for pushing me under the bus, guys." Holly shrugs. "It's your turn." Grace says.
"Alright, you ready?" Holly asks the girl opposite her. "Yeah, I'm scared now." Grace puts her hands together and leans on them. "It's not that bad, don't worry." Holly waves her off. "Alright, go on." Grace tells her.
"Grace you're sexy, but you have a flat bum. You try too hard, you just need to charge it. Come around again, when you learn how to make Bill cum." Holly laughs.
"Dunno what Bill sees in you, it must be the money. Because it's definitely not your non-existent ass." Holly shrugs, making Grace cover her mouth, and everyone else laughs.
"You think you're funny, but you have no puns. You have a phobia of sick, Bill best be upset when you don't suck his dick. You look like a giraffe with a neck that long. But, yet is smaller than my long shlong." Holly covers her face, in embarrassment.
"Ha, what the fuck was that?" Grace shouts. "Don't, I haven't got a clue, but I'm not finished." Holly shakes her head, looking at her friend. "Carry on." Grace laughs.
"Still living at home, Grace, love you're almost twenty-four. That's embarrassing, having mummy and daddy do your chores. Tell me, what do you do when Bob Marley starts playing?" Holly looks at Grace. "Dad loves a good bit of Bob Marley." Grace laughs.
"Tell Joe and George, I could bag their mum. Lisa babe, you're a milf ease come over, If you do I will make you cum over and over." Holly turns to the camera and winks. "Not in my bed you won't." Chip points to himself. "Well, if Lisa comes knocking you're getting sent away." Holly turns to him.
"But yeah that's my roast done guys." Holly stands up and bows, making everyone applaud. "Your one is so much better than mine." Holly laughs, pointing to Grace's paper. "I know, I thought yours would be so much better." Grace looks at Holly.
"Did you make a diss track when that whole thing was going on?" Billy asks. "No comment." Holly shakes her head, knowing what he's talking about. "You so did." Billy starts to laugh. "What thing?" Liv asks.
"Well five years ago, JJ left the sidemen. So, Behz thought why not make a diss track? So then everyone else made one, and they all mentioned me and Dani in there. Like what the fuck. So we made one as well, but it's only been listened to by mine and Dani's ears." Holly laughs.
"You should release it." Billy tells her. "You funny." Holly shakes her head, pointing at the freestyler. "What? You should." He stands up. "Yeah, no one is listening to it until I'm dead." Holly shrugs, tucking in the chair and standing next to Grace.
"Alright, it's the end of the roast battle. We all did that for absolutely no reason." Grace shrugs. "There was definitely truth behind every single one of the bars that was just said." Holly looks at the housemates. "Oh shut up." Chip says, crushing his paper up and chucking it at Holly's head.
"What the hell?" Grace shouts, looking between the couple. "Fuck you." Holly says to Chip, chucking the paper back at him. "Love you too." He smiles, walking out of the room.
"What are you looking for?"Grace asks as Holly walks into the kitchen looking through the cupboards. "My bottle, I haven't seen it since yesterday." The brunette turns to look at the housemates. "Have you checked the bedroom?" Chip asks her.
"No." Holly shakes her head. "Well then go and look in the bedroom." Chip laughs. "Can one of you help me?" Holly looks between the housemates. "I will." Grace stands up.
"Of course, you wanna come to the bedroom with me." Holly winks, before walking out of the kitchen. "This woman." Grace laughs, walking out after the brunette.
"Why are you laughing?" Holly stands up and looks over at Grace. "You'll never guess what." Grace turns to Holly, holding something behind her back. "Tell me Grace, what is it?" Holly puts her hands on her waist.
"I found a bottle." Grace holds it up. "But." Holly asks, already knowing something is coming. "But, it says Harry." Grace bursts out laughing. "You fucking joking me." Holly walks over, snatching the bottle off Grace.
"That fucker stole my bottle." Holly scoffs. "Harry, you mother fucker." Holly points at the camera. "You stole my bottle you slag, this can never be forgiven." Holly says slowly, walking closer to the camera.
"Is everything okay?" Chip walks into the room, seeing Grace on the floor in fits of laughter, and Holly's face close to the camera. "No, it's not." Holly turns to look at her boyfriend. "What happened?" Chip wonders.
"Harry took my bottle." Holly cries, looking up. "Why are you crying over it?" Chip asks, making Grace laugh harder. "Because now I have nothing to drink from." Holly points at herself. "You can use mine." Chip smiles, holding his bottle up.
"Oh, thank you." Holly smiles, taking the bottle and walks out of the room. "She's weird." Grace laughs. "Nah, she's acting different." Chip shakes his head, looking in the direction his girlfriend went.
"You didn't actually think we would burn your luxury items did you? Housemates, head to the store room."
"Holly, we're going to the storeroom." Chip says walking into the room. "Where the fuck is she?" He asks himself, running to the front.
"Oh, you're in here already." Chip says, seeing Holly in the chair.
"Hell yeah, I was straight down here." Holly smiles, holding up his picture book.
"It's back." Chip takes it if her.
"Yep, now we don't need to retake pictures." She smiles, hugging him.
"Oh my god, I'm getting squashed." Ilyas says as Destini sits on him.
"Aww, look at you all. You all look so happy."
"Thanks, gurl." Max nods, holding up his book.
"And sexy?" Chip says, hopefully.
"Wait I feel like she's gonna switch it now though." Destini shuts everyone up.
"But?" Ilyas asks cautiously.
"No, I just wanted to see your happy little faces."
"I fucking love you sugar." Holly smiles, going to the camera and kissing the lens.
"I love you too baby."
"I'm going to have your babies one day." Holly winks.
"I don't know how Chip will feel about that."
"He'll have to deal with it." Holly smiles, touching Chip's head.
"The way you sugar is the way you wanna lips." Max nods.
"Shut up."
"I fucking love this sugar, I'm soaring ahead." Holly laughs, looking at the screen. "They take ages." She shakes her head, waiting for the housemates to come out of the bedroom and look at the scoreboard.
"Wait... How have you got up two more than everyone?" Chip turns to Holly. "I have my ways." She shrugs, smiling.
"You're talking to the top two." Holly smiles leaning into Chip.
"The two sexiest people in the house." Chip nods.
"Debatable."
"No there is no debate, and if there was we'd win." Chip tells sugar lips.
"And that on period." Holly snaps her fingers.
"Destini, unfortunately, you've failed your secret challenge today.
"Ohhhh, your rubbish." Ilyas tells her. "No, can I just say yeah mine was so dumb? Imagine, you know the challenge we had today about the order?" The girl asks. "Yeah." All the housemates say.
"They said to me, I've got to convince the team to make me go first two of them. I was just thinking, that's not gonna work. So like, most funny I had to be like. Oh yeah, I'm the funniest guys put me first. So, I didn't even try." Destini explains.
"Oi, fifty club though." Ilyas holds both his hands out to Holly and Chip. "Fifty-eight points bro?" Billy turns to look at Holly. "Yeah, the fifty club." Ilyas nods. "This girl doesn't need any more money." Billy wraps his arm around her shoulders.
"How do you know I'll keep it?" Holly looks up at him. "Just, let's talk girl." Billy leans his head closer. "What about?" She asks. "About the money." Billy shrugs. "No, you ain't getting any." Holly laughs.
Big Red:
Billy is acc a lowkey vibe he's like the younger brother of the group( Max is the distant cousin that asks if u have games on your phone)
"Bruda this punctuation is crazy." Billy shakes his head, reading the message. "That's so true." Holly laughs. "Wait, why did he put that in brackets though I don't get it. But, thank you though Big Red." Billy holds up his thumbs.
"You need to improve on your punctuation though, but yeah thank you." He repeats. "I can't lie Big Red you're a joke man." Max shakes his head. "Much appreciated." Billy smiles. "Big joke man." Max scoffs.
S N M:
Ilias moving more desperate than max and that's saying something 😂
"Laughing emoji." Billy says, after reading the comment. "Who's Ilias? I don't know who that is." Ilyas shrugs. "My ones Ilyas, they fuck it." The max laughs. "Man called you Ilias, that's the wrestler." Billy shakes his head.
"I can't lie, what does that mean? Desperate more than Max and that's saying something. What the hell are you trying to say?" Max turns to the camera. "That you're desperate." Ilyas tells him. "I am, I am." The nineteen-year-old repeats.
Izayah Moeke:
Olivia is sooooo leng and a Down to earth person.
"That's five o's." Billy looks at the brunette. "I get so embarrassed." Liv laughs, looking at Holly. "Why, you need to own it, girl." The YouTuber nudges her. "Me when I lie." Chip laughs. "Shut the fuck up." Holly pushes Chip's head.
"And he said down to earth person, bro, you don't know her man calm down." Billy shrugs, making Liv look at him and laugh. "Bill." Holly scolds him. "I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm chill." Billy shakes his head, hugging Liv.
Suhayla AA:
can we talk about how underrated rachel bada is! shes sooo pretty
"Yeah, Rachel Bada." Grace nods. "Thanks." Rachel claps her hands. "Bada than bad." Ilyas smiles. "Can we talk about how overrated she is eh?" Max laughs, looking at the woman.
"Huh, look at your spots man, you need to clean your skin." Rachel fires back. "At least I don't have fake teeth." He looks at the screen. "I love my teeth though." Rachel smiles. "And I don't." Max shakes his head. "Roast battle part two." Ilyas nods.
YouTube:
"i like pies but not when a man has his fingers in a lot of them" pls Grace had me cackling 😭
"YouTube commented that." Grace smiles, tucking her hair behind her ear. "YouTube? Nah Grace is gone." Billy shakes his head. "What was that about?" Holly asks the blonde. "I have absolutely no clue. Maybe, that was about Ilyas." She itches her head.
"Wait Grace, you sure you actually said that though? And you didn't just get it wrong?" Billy asks. "No, I definitely would've said some shit like that." Grace nods. "Time for bedtime, where I won't sleep a wink." Holly dances.
"What are you doing?" Chip laughs, looking at her. "I don't know, but I'm not tired." Holly moves her head around to look at her boyfriend. "Fucks sake." He shakes his head.
Authors note:
Only four episodes left to write!
I don't know how long it will drake me to write them either as I'm back in school tomorrow.
Dunno how I'm going to cope, I've been going to sleep at like six every morning.
But, anyway, is there anything you'd like to see in the next four episodes?
Would you like different POV'S apart from Holly's?
Who's your favourite Holly duo?