Before
05/08/2024
He waited for her to return. He felt he also had the right to be selfish. He wanted her to want him as much as he wanted her. He wanted her to return to him. He wanted her to find him. He was angry, hurt. Without realising he had been taking care of the flora the way she had taught him to. He had been painting the missing days. How lost he felt. How much he wanted to be found.
As he walked around the empty studio that was only filled with memories of her and pieces of her, he stumbled across an incomplete letter. He sat down on the chair and started reading.
Dear Akir,
I seem to only have the confidence to call you by your name when you are asleep, in my thoughts, my work, my writings, my unconscious and especially when you are away. Yet you seem to know. You know everything. I don't have to express myself for you to know, which honestly I believed only existed in fiction. You are too surreal to be real. Even then I know I take pride in knowing you are mine. Akir, I don't know if I will ever show this letter to you. If you will ever find it, because I am scared. I fear I'll lose you. I will burn this after I note down all my feelings.
I hate that you love me so daringly. You love me and just me and everything that is me. You are so stupid but I just love that stupidity. I love you so much Akir. I love you so so much. I wish to say it to you, I wish to spell it to you, I wish to show it to you as bravely as you. Yet I feel inferior when I see the amount of love you have for me. Have always shown me and continue to show me. I am self seeking when it comes to you. I still want you to love me unconditionally. I don't want you to leave no matter how irrational or foolish I might be. Please run after me when I leave, call after me when I don't turn, speak to me when I'm mute and pat me when I don't see.
Just know I will love you, it will always be you. I might be late but I'll come back for you. Wait for me. I will be able to say it one day. Akir Akir Akir....your name is muse. I will call
Before he knew he had worn his shoes in hast and was running for the door. He left and was now in the streets. Turning left and right. He turned left and dashed. After running for a long time he stopped, gasping for air. He was never a runner. It seemed to hinder him now. Before he could take off again he heard a faint call.
".....Akir! Akir, stop running damn it! I'm tired."
He whipped his head around and saw a tiny figure with pale purple hair, running. She was running towards him. He froze. She seemed to get closer. Her face clearer, her beauty more definitive. He realised her hair colour had faded to a pale purple. She came closer until he noticed she was going to leap on him. And she did.
He caught her, now aware that they were both laughing. All the anger, hurt, prior emotions missing, rather vanished.
"I missed you." She said, "Akir."