now we're all on the stage, the curtain is closed, with the team of LOD waiting to hear if Amanda can compete with us.
"okay, we have a decision, the judge's ruling is final." Sandra said to us. "next year, we'll tighten up the loophole, but as of this year, Amanda can dance with The Next Step."
"yes!" i said happily, smiling to James.
"okay, let's flip a coin, see who goes first." Lexi said, the captain of LOD.
"okay, we'll do that." Sandra agreed. she flipped the coin and looked at lexi. "call it."
"heads."
she looked on the coin. "heads it is."
"we choose first." she said looking at me.
"cool." i said with a little bit attitude to match to her. "bye." i turned around and we all walked away to dress up and prepare Amanda for the dance.
i'm now at the back studio with my phone, calling Alex but he hasn't answered since two days ago and i'm starting to get worried.
"what's up?" i heard James behind me. i looked at him, still pacing around with my phone. "izzy?"
"it's just... Alex was supposed to go out of the hospital yesterday, and he called me last night, but i didn't answer. and i've been trying to call him since this morning and he's not answering." i said, quickly, stressfully.
"Iz, i'm sure he's fine."
"but why is he not answering? and my mom is not answering either—"
"izzy. i'll make some calls, okay? you need to focus on the dance and get dressed and talk to Emily, and talk to Amanda. you need to stop worrying. not everything is your responsibility."
i sighed. "okay. but if your mom says anything, you have to find me."
"promise."
i kissed him quickly and turned to the dressing room.
James: sometimes izzy takes too much on herself, and when she starts worrying, she lose focus on everything else and that can't happen to her right now. not when she has to be our dance captain.
it's been two hours. we're all now ready, well, as ready as we can be, and we're at the curtains of the stage, preparing ourselves to watch LOD's dance.
alex and my mom are still not answering and i'm really starting to worry.
"James." i walked up to him and he looked at me. "have you heard anything?"
"no. my mom hasn't spoke to your mom today so she doesn't know anything. sorry."
"it's fine. i just need to focus on the dance right now. thanks anyway."
he wrapped his hand around my shoulders and pulled me closer to a hug.
James: the truth is, i have heard something. i'm just not sure how to even say it.
LOD started dancing. their dance is actually pretty cool.
they're models and they are being followed by the paparazzi. so they can't make one move without a photographer taking a picture and releasing it to the press.
there's a reason they won Nationals in the last two years. they're like robots. it's hard to compete with them.
when their dance finished, we were all stressing out. they were great and clean.
the curtain fell on them and they walked out of the stage, walking between us like proper divas. so disrespectful.
and now... it was our turn to dance.
"izzy, just wanted to say. i love you." West came up to me out of nowhere.
"yo bro, back off." James told him and i chuckled.
"love you too, West." i said back to him as he walked away.
"hey!" James looked at me offended.
"i love you more." i said to him softly and he smiled widely.
"hey everybody. have a good show!" West said to all of us. "The Next Step on three! one, two three..."
"The Next Step!" we all yelled and took our positions on the stage.
the music started, the curtain raised, and the crowd cheered, and this is all i need in life.
our dance starts with Eldon and Michelle's duet as they helped us win Regionals, but this time it's just the start of the dance.
and then we all start dancing and our dance really starts now.
our set up is like a circus and that's what our dance is about. it's funky, energetic and so fun.
we all give all of ourselves into this dance, and we've never wanted this more.
we're all doing it for Emily. this whole dance, this whole energy is for Em. we're all so grateful for her.
when the song finishes, the whole crowd stood up, cheering and clapping for us and this feeling is just amazing.
we've come so far, as a group and as an individual, and what's most important is that we had fun with our family. because that's what we are.
we took our place in the front of the stage, and we all held hands, taking in this moment before bowing to them, grateful for all of this cheering from them.
and then the curtain fell down and i jumped on Riley and James who were standing next to me.
as the judges came on stage with the trophy we walked next to Kate, Phoebe and Emily before the curtain raised and we walked back on stage.
i can't wait to hear who won. we all want this so bad. we all deserve it.
"and the 17th annual absolute dance National champions are..."
this is the moment we've all been waiting for. there's nothing we want more. there's nothing we deserve more. and if the judges want to watch a true performance, i think we've got this.
"... The Next Step!" we jumped and cheered as soon as we heard the first word of the name of our studio.
i immediately jumped into James's arms and hugged him tightly before kissing him and then turning to the rest of my team.
we won Nationals. everything that we went through was worth it to get to here. this is the best feeling in the world.
i looked behind me at Amanda and smiled at her. if she didn't help us we would have lose. and we will not be here without her.
i walked off stage and hugged Emily first. she's my co captain, my best friend, almost like my sister. and this is for her.
after we all calmed down and changed out of our costumes i grabbed my phone and seen 5 miscalls from my mom, and a bunch of texts from her too.
my heart immediately dropped when i opened her text, and along with my heart my phone is too.
"iz?" i looked up to see James looking at me concerned. "what's wrong?"
"umm..." i swallowed hard, trying to speak. "alex's car accident was a suicide attempt. and—" my eyes wallowed with tears. "my mom sent him away to London because he overdosed."
i didn't even finish my sentence and James's arms were wrapped around me and i let myself cry into his chest.
this day had turned around so quickly i wasn't even able to blink.
the drive home nearly killed me. everyone were so happy, and i just couldn't.
when i got home nothing felt right. i was angry at my mom, angry at alex, and angry at myself for not being here for him.
i couldn't stay there so i packed a bag and slept with James for the next two nights.
but i couldn't bring myself to leave his house. even when Kate texted us that the studio is being evicted. even when she needed my help packing the studio. i just couldn't help others when i'm like this.
James walked in his room, where i was on his bed, and looked at me. "what?"
"you gotta get out of here, Iz. i love you, and you know i do, but this is getting out of control."
"i'll go home then." i said sharply.
"that's not what i'm saying."
"what's the point of getting out of here, James? i don't have a brother to cry to, and i don't have a studio where i can dance until i break. nothing feels right! everything is gone!"
"i'm right here, Iz. and i'm trying to be supportive but you're making it very difficult."
i sighed. "i'm sorry. how was with Kate?"
"it was... interesting. Lucian walked in."
"the Elite owner?" he nodded. "what did he want?"
James looked up at me. "he said if elite and the next step will merge, he will give us a place to practice."
i scoffed. "that's insane. is Miss Kate actually considering it?"
"unfortunately. but what other choice do we have?"
"we can't merge with them, J." i sat next to him.
"i know." he put his arm around me and i cuddled into him.
this is the only place i feel good about everything- in his arms.