Nyra
I knew I couldn't trust Ivan. He had grown too close to me in the few weeks we'd known each other. It was surreal how fast we had become attached to each other. It didn't make any sense. I've been with plenty of men, and I've never thought of them to the point of insanity.
I didn't care if they fucked other girls or dated other girls. I've never in my life staked a claim onto a man and had a man claim I was his and his only. From the very first time we had sex, he claimed me as his, and that should have had me running for the hills, but it didn't.
It was toxic, a blaring red flag, but I ignored them. I ignored everything wrong and everything that could go wrong because of how he made me feel. Ivan made me feel like he saw me like he knew me, and it comforted me.
It comforted me to know that our relationship wasn't purely sexual and that he cared to listen to me, hold me, and comfort me. There was still a part of me that knew that nothing good lasted and that whatever Ivan and I had would end.
Soon. It just felt too good, too beautiful, and gave me too much false hope. It would only end in disaster. Sometimes when we spoke to each other, our mistrust for each other shined, and I knew Ivan wanted something from me.
He didn't have to say it or hint at it, no man got close to someone like me because they liked or loved me. People used people, and men loved using women to their advantage.
I gave Ivan a lot of pieces of myself, and in exchange, he gave me nothing back. It was very easy to have Omar and a few of my other men pick Ivan right off the street, gag and tie him, and bring him to me.
I could do that, but I didn't want to. I didn't want to have to hurt him unless he proved to be a threat. Yes, he was a strange man with a squeaky-clean past and life, but he was nice to me.
He touched me like he cared, kissed me because he ached not to, held me when I cried, and tucked me into bed right after. He didn't force himself on the bed with me or do anything.
He put me into bed and left, and that was that. I didn't know what to make do with all the information. I didn't know if I should wait for him to give me a reason or if I should trust my gut and deal with Ivan before it got out of hand.
It was pathetic how afraid I felt. I was terrified of finding out that he got close to me for a devious reason. It was a possibility, it always has been, and it always will be, but it would hurt coming from Ivan.
He was the first man in six years to kiss me and touch me. I trusted him to kiss and touch me. I trusted him with my body in ways I never trusted anyone before.
I told him about my cousins, talked about my family, and told him my dark confession. I knew what it was when I gave it to him. Ammunition.
It was like my secrets and stories were the bullets he'd use to fill up the chamber of his gun before shooting me with it. I grabbed my phone and dialed Omar's number. He answered after one ring.
"Yes, boss."
"I need to retrain, Omar. I haven't trained in a while, and I need to be ready for anything. Get me a few men that you trust and have them meet me in my gym in an hour."
"Yes, boss. Of course."
I hung up and put my phone into my bag. I stood up and pulled out the gun from my holster. I checked the chamber and made sure it was loaded. I put it back in and grabbed my coat to cover the weapon.
With my purse in my hand, I stepped out of the office and told my new secretary I'd be taking the rest of the day off. Once I got home, I stripped out of my extravagant clothing and into something more comfortable.
I wiped my makeup off and wrapped my hair up into a bun. I grabbed my sneakers and headed downstairs to wait. My dogs lounged around in the gym with me while I stretched and tried to undo the tense muscles knotting in my back.
I felt so on edge that my hands were shaking. I had to do my breathing exercises over and over again until I finally calmed down. There was a knock on the gym door, and Omar, along with three other men, walked in.
"Boss." Omar greeted me. "These men will help retrain you. This is Yue, and he'll be helping you improve your hand-to-hand combat."
He pointed to a man of Asian descent. He was medium height, with a fit body and strong arms. I nodded my head respectfully at him.
"This is Vlad, and he'll be helping you improve your knife-fighting skills."
He pointed to a short man with a shiny head and a large scar across his cheek. I gave him the same respectful nod.
"And lastly, this is Junaid and a very close and dear friend of mine. He'll be helping you improve your gun skills."
He placed his hand on the man next to him. He had a thick beard, a headful of hair and his stance was strong, and his eyes were firm as he gave me a nod of his head, which I replied with my own.
"These men will help you, boss. I'll be here overseeing it all."
I approached the three teachers and placed my hands on my hips. "Shall we begin?"
Hours that felt like days passed me by, and I was a sweating, panting, and sore mess. My legs were sore from the laps they forced me to run. My back ached from all the push-ups, and my arms felt like jello from the number of pull-ups they had me do.
Their workout routine was intense, and it lasted over an hour as they pushed me past my limits. They gave me a ten-minute break every ninety minutes, but they wouldn't allow me to drink water.
Something about drinking after would be beneficial. Each man spent with me two hours. Yue was quick and sleuth as he taught me how to fight better. He taught me how to tighten my stance and how to take down someone double my weight and size.
It felt like I was training for a war that I felt was nearing. I learned different types of combat because Yue mixed in some martial arts techniques along with some tae kwon do.
He had me in a chokehold so tight I thought I was going to die in it while he screamed directions in my ear. After Yue's lesson was done, he stepped away, and then I was paired with Vlad.
Vlad was even more brutal. He used a knife like it was an extension of his hand. He was quick, the blade almost invisible as he moved it around and cut through the obstacles.
His English was weak, but he made up with grunts and visual aids. He taught me how to use not only the blade but the handle it came with. Omar pulled out a visual of the human body and its anatomy.
He taught me where to cut for major damage and how deep to cut if I wanted them to bleed out. After teaching me, he gave me a stiff smile and pat on my back before I moved on to Junaid.
If I thought the first two men were savage, I was wrong. Junaid was an animal when it came to his gun techniques and his lesson. He taught me longer than the other two.
He taught me how to disarm a gun and how to put it back together in less than a minute. He'd time me, and if I were to make a mistake, he'd make me do it all over again.
Then we were working with different types of guns and feeling the weight of them in my hand. He taught me how to shoot with techniques I didn't even know existed, but I was grateful.
Despite his constant screaming and cussing, he was an amazing teacher, and I was grateful for him, for all of them. I was so tired; I couldn't even enjoy dinner with all of them.
Instead, I told Beth to save me a plate because I needed a long soak in the tub. I groaned in pain as I stepped into the bath, and before I could close my eyes, my phone began to vibrate. I cursed and got up to my bedroom.
I checked the ID and saw that it was Ivan. I hung up and called him from another phone. I walked back into the tub and checked my towel to ensure my gun was there before slipping back inside.
"Hey, how are you?" He asked.
"Sore," I admitted.
"From what?"
"Omar punished me with an intense workout. I can't feel my body."
He laughed a laugh that didn't belong to a man as cunning and devious as him.
"I'm sorry, baby. Are you okay? Want me to come over and give you a massage?"
I hummed. "Tempting."
"When do I get to see you?"
"When do you want to see me?"
"Right now." He demanded.
I closed my eyes and let out a breath of air. "Ivan, what am I to you?"
"You're my girl, and I care about you very much."
"Are you lying to me?" I whispered, my weakness evident in my voice.
"No, I'm not lying to you."
"I haven't cried in years," I divulged. "Yet, I cried in front of you."
"I don't want to have this conversation over the phone." He murmured, and my anger grew, but so did the hurt and pain. "Let me come over and-"
"Why? So you could gauge my facial reactions? Do you need more ammunition?" I exclaimed.
"Ammunition? Nyra, what's wrong, baby? Talk to me."
"Ivan, I'm not an easy person to bring down. I'm a strong woman, and I've been through hell and back to get to where I am. I've been hurt, betrayed, deceived, and had my heart broken too many times to count. The life I'm leading is mine, and I won't let anyone take it from me. Not you, not anyone. Do you understand?"
"I understand." I didn't speak, and silence filled the air. "I still want to see you."
"I'm tired, Ivan. I'm so, so tired." My voice cracked. "I just want to sleep. Good night."
I hung up and put my phone on the counter. I closed my eyes and could feel the tears falling down my face. My heart hurt and hiccuped in my chest as I cried.
It hurt to hold it in any longer, and I found myself sobbing in the tub. I covered my face with my hands as my body shook in the water. I cried over my parents, over what my uncle and cousins did to me.
I cried over the girl who went through abuse and assault when she used to strips. I cried over the successful businesswoman who couldn't trust anyone.
It wasn't a therapeutic cry but a hurtful one. It hurt to cry. It hurt to hold in so much pain, and to have it explode right now made my chest rattle. I didn't even hear my bathroom door open or my dogs barking, but Beth walked in.
She came to where I was and scooped me out of the tub, and wrapped me up in a towel. She pulled me to her chest and hugged me tightly. I cried in her arms pathetically, and when I was finished.
She helped wash my face and dried me off with the towel. She got me dressed and brushed my hair, and then walked me to my bed.
She helped me in, and my dogs jumped on the bed with me. They cuddled around me, and Beth kissed my forehead before ushering me to sleep.
"Thank you, Beth." It came out weak and congested.
"Of course, dear." She stayed close to me until I closed my eyes and fell asleep drained and exhausted.