- Taylors Pov -
Being home for Christmas break is nice, but it's also intense being back in my parents' house. Both of them, and my brother, are hovering about food. But what they don't realize is that I need to do that on my own, I need to learn to do it on my own and they need to let me. I had a long conversation with my therapist about that before break, and she wanted me to work on taking responsibility even under my parents' roof. If I didn't it would be even harder when I get back to New York in the new year.
Today we have an agenda, a family tradition that we do every year. I've put on a Christmas sweater, jeans, boots, and a Santa hat because today we are going to the children's hospital. Every year on Christmas Eve my family and I dress up and deliver presents to kids that need to spend Christmas in the hospital. the presents are donated by big companies in Boston that wants to look good by donating, but I don't care about their pr reasoning because I know it means a lot to the kids. I've spent a few Christmases in the eating disorder unit myself, so I get that it sucks to be stuck here when you would rather be home with your family.
«One year we are getting you to put on a fake beard and dress like Santa Austin» I grin at my brother as we finish up the last of the sorting of presents. There are volunteers that have donated their time to organize all the presents and making sure it's appropriate gifts for the kids based on their age, they have written names, floors, and room number on them, so now it's up to us to pass them out to the kids.
«I'll do it if you do it teffy» he playfully elbows me before handing me the bag he was working on «I assume you want to see your boyfriend. This is for that ward»
Joe is spending Christmas in the hospital with his brother while they wait for Patrick's blood counts to recover. It's still up in the air but hopefully it will fully recover. As far as I know it's looking better blood count wise, but he has fatigue at the moment which I know is scaring Joe. They can't even be in the room with him, they are on the other side of a plastic wall to protect Patrick. I can't imagine how hard it is for their family, and I wish there was something I could do.
«What did you get lover boy for Christmas anyway?» He asks and I shrug «not telling you. we are opening them over video chat tomorrow so I'm keeping my mouth shut until then» it was hard figuring out what to get him, because I really wanted it to be something that he would like. I got him a thing and then an experience we could do together. It seemed like the perfect balance.
We separate and I head up to the pediatric cancer ward. There are actually several cancer wards because there are sadly so many kids with cancer, but his brother is on the bone marrow transplant unit because that's where the isolation rooms are. There are only a few kids there, I think it's like eight rooms or something but there are six kids there for the holidays. I assume the two other spots are either open or they got discharged right before Christmas.
The first kid is a toddler girl, then there are two elementary school aged kids, one kid that's almost an adult and two middle school kids. One of the middle school aged kids are Patrick, so I save him for last.
I knock on the door to the part of the room where Joe is, and they open it. «Hey you! I didn't know you were coming» he says and peck my lips. «I'm Santa for the kids on the ward. So I have a present for Patrick» I say as I pull it out of my Santa bag. I don't actually know what's inside it, but I do as I'm told and hand it to the nurse. They need to disinfect the outside of it, so no bugs come into Patrick's room. It won't be a hundred precent sterile, but that's not really possible.
Joe invites me into the room, and I greet his parents and brother. It seems like their mom is on his brother's side of the wall and Joe is on this side with their father. I know their family dynamic is fractured, so I can't even imagine how hard this Christmas is on Joe and Patrick. Their parents straight up hate one another, and the kids are caught in the middle of that. Not only that, but they are all stuck in a hospital far away from home.
«Taylor. It's good to see you again sweetie» his mother Elizabeth says, and I smile at her through the plastic «it's good to see you guys too. Hope you're having a good day so far»
The hospital tries to do their best to create Christmas spirit for the kids and their families that are stuck here. No one wants to be stuck in the hospital over the holidays, but some just don't have a choice. Some kids are just too sick to leave to celebrate at home, so the hospital try to make the best out of the situation. One of those things are the presents they get from the hospital; every kid gets one. They also decorate the whole hospital, actually they hire a decorator for each holiday so it can be well put together and so it doesn't take time away from the nurses doing their job. There are treats offered to the patients and their families, and they try to accommodate families so they can be together. Some of these kids spend a lot of time alone because the parents have to work, and some work out of state and see their kids even less.
«Are you playing Santa for the kids?» Patrick asks and I nod «I sure am. my family volunteer every year to deliver presents for the kids that are stuck here over Christmas. Hence why I'm wearing a Santa hat and carrying a Santa bag» charity has always been important to my parents, even before they held high positions in hospitals here in Boston. They always wanted me and my brother to appreciate all we had and lean to give back to those in need. we always balance it out, having family time but also giving back to the community. I really don't mind though; I always saw the importance in it.
«That's really cool. Do all the kids get presents?» Their mother asks and I nod again «yes, local companies and private donators donate to the hospital, and we pack the presents, label them and hand them out to those spending Christmas Eve and day here»
I don't have long to spend with them because I have to head to another ward, but Joe follows me out into the hallway so we can say goodbye in private. «I think my brother really appreciated that, thanks. His spirits have been low today» Joe says and rest his hands on my hips as he pulls us closer.
«This is one of my favorite things about the holiday, handing out presents and seeing the looks on the kids' faces. Some of these kids' parents are also so deep in medical bills they can't afford Christmas presents, and some parents can't be here at all so the kids spend the day alone. It's the lease I can do to try to raise their spirits. Even the kids that don't believe in Santa and those that don't celebrate Christmas seem to appreciate the gesture too» if we know that a kid celebrate Hannukah instead we hand them a present for that instead to try to accommodate different cultures. and if we are unsure about a family preference we talk to the parents beforehand, but I have never had a family turn the gesture down. Even if they don't celebrate Christmas, it's still hard for the kids to be in the hospital.
«I love you» he says and press his forehead against mine. I can feel the warmth radiate from his body and the familiar butterflies flutter in my stomach. «I love you too Joe» we are both spending the day today and tomorrow with our families, but we are going to meet up the day after and do something fun together. Since we both are in the same city for winter break, we want to take advantage of that, even if it's just hanging out at my house or something.
** the next morning **
Christmas morning is a big deal in the swift household and my parents have made sure every corner of our house Is fully decorated early in December. There has never been a lack of Christmas spirit and I've always loved helping decorate everything. Of course I've been in New York up until now, so I didn't get to participate, but I did get to put the star on top of the Christmas tree last night because it was my turn this year. We save it for Christmas Eve and my brother, and I take turns placing it on top of the tree. It's the little things I guess that adds a little more magic to the day.
«Teffy. Get your ass out of bed» my brother comes into my room and throw himself on my bed. Just like any other year we are wearing matching pajamas because we always get those on Christmas Eve. «I was already awake dumbass. Just trying to wake up my body» I groan.
«Mom and dad are awake and making breakfast, so it's only you slowpoke that's not up. And you know the rules, we aren't allowed in the sitting room until all of us is out of bed. Some come on» he says and literally drag me out of bed. He plays football so he is much stronger than me. «Austin, seriously» I whine. «Suck it up and come downstairs»
There is no point in arguing with Austin so together we head downstairs and follow the scent of pancakes to the kitchen. «Good you're up sleepyhead. Its already nine am. Breakfast is ready» my dad says and come over to kiss the top of my head.
«I had to wait until nine to force your ass out of bed. But now Christmas day can officially start» Austin grins as he hands me a cup of coffee and the four of us head over to the kitchen table where my mom has breakfast ready for us. My mom has the whole day off while my dad has a shift at the hospital from 4pm until 11pm. Their job doesn't stop just because it's the Holliday, people still get sick.
My mom always put food coloring in the pancakes for Christmas morning, just like she did when we were kids. It doesn't matter that we don't believe it's the elves playing magic tricks on us anymore, it's still fun. Growing up we had elf on the shelf doing silly things we had to find when we woke up all through December. Now we don't do that, but some things stuck.
After we finish, we clean up before we all head to the sitting room to open presents. The tree is covered with them. «Mom, dad you went overboard this year» I kiss their cheeks. They have a tendency to do that no matter how many times we tell them that we have everything we could ever need. It's still nice though and it's fun to open everything together. And not every present is from them, some are from family and friends too.
One by one we open the presents, and it takes about two hours because we take turns and wait to see what the other person got as well as take breaks to refill coffee cups. I get some Lululemon stuff, gift cards to Starbucks from some family friends, a jucy set from my parents and other things. From Selena I get this gift box thing with little things she knows I like, and tom gives me a Starbucks gift card because he knows I'm addicted. At the end there is only one gift left, mine from Joe.
«The only gift left is lover boys' gift to Taylor» Austin grins at me and I poke my tongue out at him. «I'm actually going to take that and FaceTime him if that's okay» I bite my lip and my mother pokes my side playfully. «My little girl has a boyfriend. Go call lover boy sweetie» I'm so happy they seem to like Joe because he means a lot to me. Getting the parents approval is sort of a dealbreaker for me as it would make things way too complicated if they didn't like him. It's not that it would make or break the relationship, but I don't know if I could deal with the complications it brought. However I don't need to consider that as they seem to love Joe and how good he is for me.
Present in hand I sit up against my headboard and call him on FaceTime. It only takes two rings before he picks up «hi there gorgeous. Merry Christmas» he says and is on the move. I don't know where he goes but he sits down in a chair somewhere, probably somewhere giving us some privacy. «Merry Christmas Joe»
We talk about how our morning went. Apparently, Patrick has a good day today with a little more energy so that's good, and he isn't so pale which is also good. Their parents have already fought but that's sadly not a new thing in their family. Joe got some clothes but mostly gift cards or cash. now all that's left is our presents to one another.
«Do you want to go first?» I ask him and he nods «sure» the phone awkwardly sit against something so I can still see his face as he opens the present. I got him tickets to a stand-up show in New York and then a pair of sneakers because his will never truly be white again no matter how many times, he put them through the wash. «thank you, Taylor. I was going to buy myself some new shoes, but now I don't have too. Thanks! And we haven't gone to standup before so that will be fun» I wanted to combine something he could use with something we could do together.
«Now open mine» he says and looks nervous. «Don't look so nervous babe» I grin at him as I start to unwrap it. There are some really nice slippers with some sort of wool inside them that looks cozy, and then a framed picture of us, one we took on our first date. «You're always say you have cold feet, so I thought some slippers would be good. And I love that picture, it's the day I knew I never wanted to let you go»
I can't stop smiling at him through the screen «I wish I could kiss you right now. These are much needed because mine just got a hole in them. And this picture... god I was so nervous that day, but I knew you were a keeper at the end of the day»
It wasn't a spectacular date in terms of what we did, it was casual, but it was also perfect for us. We got lots of time to talk and get to know each other better while at the same time see parts of the city. No pressure just being the two of us. that's my ideal type of date, getting to talk and do simple things like hold hands. Sometimes we forget that the little things can carry more meaning than more elaborate settings.
«I want to kiss you too. It's me and you from now on, just me and you» he says, and his eyes are sparkly blue as they look straight into mine. The gentleness, tenderness, and love between us is everything I could want. I didn't need anything materialistic for Christmas as long as I have my lover with me.
***
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