And i will go if you ask me to:
Jennie enters the living room with shaky knees and a sick feeling in her stomach.
She's still half dazed from sleep, her eyes puffy and burning against the first beams of sunlight streaming through her grandmother's chiffon curtains, painting the living room soft and golden.
She's sitting there on the couch, a bowl of what looks to be sunflower seeds in her lap, and Jennie's eyes prickle at the sight of her beloved grandma.
She doesn't dare open her mouth, too scared to ruin the moment, too scared of what's going to happen next.
She takes a step inside, tugging on the sleeves of her sweater, and her grandmother finally lifts her head to acknowledge her.
"Morning, grandma," Jennie mumbles, shuffling over to the chair to sit down on it. She tries to appear relaxed and yawns, feigning sleepiness when really, she's about to lose her mind.
Everything was so... perfect last night.
It was nice to pretend that things would be okay for a moment, just for one night, with Y/n in her bed, touching her in a way that had Jennie's skin erupt with goosebumps, peppering her skin with soft kisses, looking at her like she was... like she meant more to her than the opinions of the villagers.
"Good morning," Her grandmother replies with a smile. Jennie lets out a shaky breath. Her smile is warm, almost teasing, the way it always is.
"You came back early," Jennie says and watches her put down the bowl on the coffee table.
"Her husband left for work early in the morning, so I asked him to drop me off here on his way," She explains, buttoning up the woven vest she's wearing.
It's color reminds Jennie of the lavender she's growing in her garden.
"That's nice," Jennie says. She gulps and shifts to hide her hands when she realizes that her fingers are trembling. "Uhm... Grandma, about Y/n. I hope it's okay that she stayed over last night. We were watching a movie and we fell asleep. Sorry I didn't ask before."
Her grandmother stares at her for a long moment before smiling again. "Y/n is like my daughter, sweetheart. Why would you apologize?"
"Oh," Jennie dumbly says.
"Is there something you feel like you should be sorry for?"
"No." Jennie shakes her head, and thinks about Y/n kissing her, thinks about her being so happy she had to hide her face in Y/n's neck to hide her smile, and then a lump forms in her throat, and she feels like crying.
She keeps looking at her. "You and her grew really close. I have never seen Y/n take someone in so fast like she did with you."
"Yeah," Jennie answers. "She's really nice. I mean. All of them are."
They both stay silent for a moment, and it's awkward as hell, and Jennie just wants to disappear and crawl out of her skin, anything but this.
"Alright, let's not do this," She suddenly says and Jennie feels her heart plummet to the pit of her stomach, nervously watching her stand up and walk over to the couch to sit next to her instead. "Is there anything you have to tell me, Jennie?"
"W-What?"
"I know I'm just your grandmother, and we don't see each other that often, but I love you so much. You grew up in my arms, Jennie, and it does break my old heart that you don't trust me enough to tell me certain things about you."
"I'm sorry."
"Jennie..." She sighs and slowly reaches out to place her palm on her knee, squeezing softly. "You are... how old now? Twenty-one?"
Jennie nods her head, lower lip wobbling as she tries to keep it together.
"Whenever I ask your mother if you have a boyfriend, she says no. I'm not saying there's something wrong with not having had a boyfriend yet at your age, that's not it. Heck, kids these days don't get married before their thirties, so you've got plenty of time left."
She nods her head, feeling a familiar ache spread in her chest. She's going to be so disappointed.
So damn disappointed.
"I guess you and Y/n have that in common," She continues. "That girl is so beautiful but she won't accept any of the boys her family introduced to her. Maybe that's what made you guys hit it off so well, huh?"
Jennie swallows and forces a smile, nodding her head. "Yeah, maybe."
"Or maybe you both just don't like boys that much?"
"Yeah, grandma-" Jennie stops once she realizes her mistake, the words that left her grandma's mouth only sinking in once it's too late.
She looks at her, her lips parting, and feels like she's going to throw up.
She raises her eyebrows at her, and it's like the world around them goes completely quiet. "Oh?"
"I-"
"Is there something you need to tell me, Jennie?"
And sitting here in her grandparents' living room with the pastel yellow walls and her granddad probably staring down at them from above, the cool morning breeze before another warm summer day making the curtains sway, Jennie knows she should laugh it off.
She knows she should deny it, for her parents' sake, for her own sake, and mostly, for Y/n's sake.
But her grandmother looks at her so gently, nodding her head almost like she's encouraging her, and Jennie can't really believe what she's doing.
"Do you hate me?" Jennie asks, her voice catching, lower lip wobbling pathetically in fear and shame.
And her grandmother's face suddenly falls and Jennie feels like her whole world comes crashing down, because fuck, this was a mistake.
She just-
Did she just come out to her?
She came out to the woman that used to let her sprinkle pumpkin seeds in her garden when she was four, who used to make fresh green tea lemonade for her when she was six, who used to put bandaids on her knees when she fell down playing on the swing when she was eight.
The only person from her family that still... loves her, entirely.
And now she screwed that up, too.
"Grandma, please don't," Jennie starts. "I love you, please don't hate me-"
"Are you listening to yourself?" She asks harshly, her eyebrows furrowed, and Jennie thinks she sees her eyes well up with tears. "Have you forgotten who you're talking to? Do you believe your grandma is just like every other old person in this village?"
Jennie bites down on her lower lip to keep it from trembling, her heart is racing, and she can't quite understand what's happening. She stares at the ground, waiting for her to say something, but instead feels her place her palm on the top of her head, fingers carding through her hair as gently as ever.
Jennie starts crying then.
"I keep disappointing everyone," Jennie mutters through her tears. "My parents they-I know they're embarrassed of me. It's why they haven't told anyone. They haven't even told you. I'm just so sorry-"
Her grandma shushes her and when Jennie weakly lifts her head to look at her, she's crying, too. "What are you even saying?"
"It's the truth. Don't try to tell me otherwise. My dad can't even look me in the eyes anymore without looking disgusted by me." More tears bubble up in her eyes. She thought she was over it. She thought she was used to these feeling by now, years later, but talking about it, saying it out loud, is like re-opening an old wound. It hurts so bad.
"Your father doesn't even know how lucky he is," Her grandmother says. "To call someone as amazing as you his daughter."
Jennie's lower lip wobbles. She can't really believe this is happening. Is she dreaming again? Has her sleep deprived brain started to fabricate things again? "Why would you say that? I just-I just told you that I'm... I'm lesbian. Grandma, I like woman."
"I know. I'm not stupid." She reaches up to wipe at her eyes and slowly shakes her head. "I wasn't sure before. But I saw you two on the hammock and I thought I was just reading too much into things. I don't know how young people interact these days. But I've known Y/n since she was a baby, and I have never seen that girl act the way she acts around you. And this morning I came into your room to check up on you, and both of you were... it felt like I was intruding. Which it shouldn't, if you two were simply friends, right Jennie?"
Jennie feels like her heart is going to burst through her chest, unable to wrap her mind around the fact that this is actually happening. "Grandma..."
"That doesn't change who you are. You are still Jennie. The same girl that used to come home with flower bouquets for me after playing outside all day long. I don't care who you love, Jennie. I just want you to be happy and safe. But it's not possible here. You know that. People won't accept it and I'm scared for your safety. That's the only thing I'm worried about. Nothing else. And in no way would I ever be embarrassed of you, do you hear me? I love you, and I'm proud of the woman you're becoming."
Jennie stares at her in disbelief, and it feels like she can properly breathe again, for the first time in a long while.
To say that she feels relieved would be an understatement.
It feels like she was drowning and someone saved her in the very last second.
She cries and her grandmother shushes her once again, pulling her into a motherly embrace, and lets Jennie cry into her shoulder like she's five years old again, she gentle hands combing through her hair, calming and loving.
"I love you, Jennie. Please don't ever think otherwise. And I know that if your grandfather was still with us, he would feel the same. You're loved, sweetheart. Don't care about opinions of people who don't matter."
It only makes Jennie cry harder, but she feels so much lighter, less burdened, knowing that against all odds, her grandmother accepts her and that she's got her back.
It doesn't feel real, and Jennie still thinks it was all just a dream, until she walks down to the garden hours later to ask her if she needs help, and she looks at her and gives her a smile that is so proud and loving that it punches the air out of her lungs.
This is real. This is really happening.
This isn't just a lucky moment for the protagonist in a western movie.
Jennie came out to her grandmother, and she still loves her.
It's the happiest, most surreal moment Jennie has ever experienced so far in her young life.
-
It must be the events of the day, the emotional rollercoaster she went through after coming out to her grandma (holy shit), that make Jennie mysteriously fall asleep when she lies down on the hammock after going for a short walk with Kuma in the early hours of the afternoon.
She doesn't know how long she's been sleeping, but her skin has warmed up from where the sun was kissing it, and she feels like a lazy cat on a Sunday afternoon, relaxed and content, when she gets woken up by a voice against her ear.
Jennie groans softly, trying to turn away, but the hammock is blocking her movements, and the intruder of her sleep chuckles quietly at the pout on Jennie's face.
"Leave me alone," Jennie whines.
"Do you really want me to?"
The voice is deep, and warm, and it makes Jennie's heart beat faster. It sounds like honey.
"Hm."
"Wake up, sleepyhead."
Someone kisses Jennie's forehead, and Jennie smiles sleepily, flushing at the action.
Y/n smiles against her skin and presses another kiss against her temple, soft and loving, and Jennie feels like she's in heaven.
"Jen... Come on. Wake up for me, hm?"
Jennie finally blinks her eyes open, immediately squinting against the sunlight, and tilts her head back to look at Y/n's beautiful face upside down. Y/n's smile widens when Jennie grins up at her lazily. "Hey."
"Hey," Y/n answers, still smiling. So pretty and gentle when she reaches down to brush Jennie's hair locks out of her eyes.
God, Jennie loves her so much it's not even funny anymore.
"Why are you here?" Jennie asks. "Aren't you supposed to be at work?"
Y/n shrugs and braces her arms on the end of the hammock, her chin resting on top. "I left early."
"Why?"
"Wanted to spend time with you."
Jennie stares at her, her face heating up at Y/n's words, and the older smirks at her, teasing and pleased as ever. "Oh."
"Mhm. Oh." Y/n ruffles her hair. "So, are you going to keep sleeping or do you maybe want to spend time with me, too?"
"The second one, please."
Y/n chuckles and steps up next to her to help her out of the hammock, their hands locking together tightly as Y/n pulls her up on her feet. Her smile dims a little bit as her eyes flicker over Jennie's face, concern brimming in them. "Hey... are you okay?"
Jennie hums, wanting nothing more than to step closer and kiss the older. It's such a pretty day, and Y/n looks like some sort of angel underneath the bright sun and blue sky. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"Because of earlier. This morning," Y/n explains. "I'm sorry your grandma saw us."
Jennie briefly considers telling Y/n, about her conversation with her grandmother, but for some reason, Jennie decides against it. It's a touchy subject as it is, even more so for Y/n, and she doesn't know how the older would react to someone knowing about her.
Jennie only now realizes that she indirectly outed Y/n to her grandmother, too.
Her smile slips and Y/n's eyes flash with concern but for all the wrong reasons. It's not that she doesn't trust her grandmother; she knows she would never tell a soul about them, but Y/n should be allowed to come out on her own terms, when she's ready.
"Jennie?" Y/n asks, stepping closer, her hand moving to Jennie's face as if to cup her cheek but curling into a fist once she remembers that they're out in the open where anyone could see them. She lowers her hand again with a grim expression. "Say something. You're worrying me."
"Huh? No! I mean, it's okay. She didn't see anything." Jennie chuckles and hopes it doesn't sound as nervous as she feels. "She was, like, really chill."
Y/n frowns. "But she saw us sleeping together. I was spooning you..."
Jennie shrugs. "It's fine. Lots of girls sleep together like that. Trust me , she didn't think anything of it."
Y/n looks at her for a moment longer, eyes wary, before she sighs and nods her head. "Okay. Okay, good."
Jennie's smile crumbles a bit at that, because a part of her wants Y/n to be... disappointed.
She wants there to be a tiny part of Y/n that wants people to know about them, but instead, Y/n sounds and looks so relieved it kind of breaks Jennie's heart.
"Yeah, good," Jennie repeats slowly.
Y/n smiles at her, that handsome smile of her that makes the sides of her nose scrunch up, and Jennie couldn't even stay upset if she tried.
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Got a new story for yall! Gonna start posting from next week🫶