Y/n stops the car at a random field and proceeds to drive right through it, ignoring Jennie's complaints about her ruining the pretty grass.
Her complaints stop the second Y/n kills the engine and tells Jennie to get out, which she does, and promptly turns into a statue at the beautiful scenery in front of her.
It seems they found the perfect spot to watch the sunset, somewhere on top a small hill, looking down on those never ending fields of crops and flowers and the grass with that shade of vibrant green that just seems so much more alive than what Jennie sees in the city.
Y/n moves to sit in the open back of the truck while Jennie snaps a few pictures of the landscape and it's only when Jennie notices how quiet it is that she remembers who she's here with.
She puts her phone away and turns around to look the older girl, her heart shrinking a little when she sees Y/n sitting there with a troubled look on her face, eyes lowered to her lap.
Jennie takes a calming breath and hesitatingly moves to sit down next to her, their feet dangling above the ground, and squints her eyes against the brightness of the sun disappearing behind the mountains in the distance.
The gentle breeze seems stronger out here on the open fields, ruffling through their hair and making Jennie's thin cotton shirt flutter against her chest.
Y/n's legs look like one of a child; bruises and cuts marring the skin, and as Jennie's eyes travel up she finds that there are a few bruises and cuts along her arms, too, and Jennie can't fight the concern flaring in her chest at the sight.
She hopes they have at least basic safety regulations on that construction site; the thought of Y/n walking around there without a helmet makes her cringe.
"Are you not going to say anything?" Jennie's voice cuts through the silence after minutes, making Y/n tense up next to her.
She glances at Y/n, at her lowered eyelashes because she's still resolutely staring at her lap, the drop of her shoulders like an invisible weight is pulling down on them. "I don't even know where to start," Y/n finally says, her voice breaking towards the end.
Jennie keeps her mouth shut, for once trying her best to sort out her thoughts before she speaks. This is a serious situation and Y/n she's- she's struggling and Jennie just wants to be able to help her out somehow. "How about- How about I ask you some things that are on my mind, and you answer? If you want to."
Y/n slowly lifts her head and faces Jennie, her pretty features which are twisted in exhaustion still serving to knock all the air out of Jennie's lungs. "Okay."
"Do you-" Jennie starts, pulling a conflicted face, not sure if it's the right thing to ask or not. "Do you like girls?"
Yeah, definitely not the right thing to ask. Y/n's jaw tightens and she looks away, her whole body so tense it looks like she might just snap if Jennie were to touch her.
"Sorry," Jennie quickly says. "That was a stupid thing to ask."
"It's fine," Y/n mutters, her chest rising and falling with the deep breaths she's taking. "I let you kiss me yesterday. Of course you'd ask."
Jennie's stomach drops unpleasantly at Y/n's words. She makes it sound like she... like she simply endured Jennie kissing her, like she didn't want it. "Did you not want me to kiss you?"
Y/n's head snaps up at the waver of Jennie's voice, eyebrows knitted together in confusion and if Jennie didn't know it better, she'd think that was concern swimming in Y/n's eyes. "Jennie-," She starts and the way she says her name makes Jennie shudder, heart pounding faster. "I kissed you back. What- What do you think?"
Her cheeks are red and Jennie can tell how hard it is for the girl to talk about it. "I don't know. But I hope you wanted to kiss me as much as I wanted to kiss you."
Y/n blushes even more at Jennie's words, and Jennie can barely control herself when those eyes drop to her mouth for a fleeting second.
"Of course I did," Y/n says, finally meeting Jennie's eyes again, her voice nearly getting lost in the howling of the wind around them.
And now Jennie is blushing. For god's sake, she isn't a twelve year old virgin school girl anymore, what's going on with her? "You, uhm, aren't freaking out as much as I thought you would."
Y/n blinks at her and nods her head, lowering her gaze. "You're asking me why I'm not having a lesbian freakout?"
Jennie's eyes widen and she can't do anything but nod her head dumbly.
"I-" Y/n starts and shakes her head, cursing under her breath and Jennie really wants to reach out and grab her hand but she doesn't. "I have known for a while that I'm not... that there's something not right with me."
"No," Jennie is quick to say, squeezing her eyes shut as she gives a shake of her head. "You're fine."
Y/n chuckles but it sounds weak and when Jennie manages to lift her head and look at her, her expression is worn out and bitter. "I never once felt attracted to a man, not matter how handsome he was. I didn't think about it too much at first, but then I-" Her breath quivers and she swallows heavily. "I would have these dreams. About- About women. I was sixteen and I just knew."
Jennie takes a few calming breaths, waiting for Y/n to continue.
"When I was younger there was a pastor in the village. This is going to sound so fucking cliché but all the kids had to go to bible study on Sundays and I remember-" Y/n stops and Jennie's heart aches at the pained smile tugging on her lips. "I remember this famous actor coming out as gay when I was thirteen, and the pastor going on about how it was a perfect example of a person falling for the devil's temptations. He told us to pray for people like that so they would find their way back to the right path. And I used to believe him, I mean, I didn't know anything else, right? And when I realized what was going on with me, I just... I used to pray and ask God for help, but nothing changed. I still didn't want boys. So I thought God just turned His back on me, you know? Gave up on me. I stopped going to church. I haven't prayed in years."
"Y/n," Jennie's voice cracks and she doesn't know what to do. She feels stupid and helpless, watching Y/n's hands tremble on her lap.
"I figured I could just ignore it," Y/n continues. "I know there are a lot of... lesbian girls in the cities, but there are none here. And the girls are like my sisters, there's no way I would ever look at them like that. So if I just stay and spend the rest of my life here, I won't be tempted. No one will ever found out." Y/n glances at her, to get her point across. "The village may be a hellhole, but at least my secret's safe there."
Jennie lips part once it clicks, and her heart aches at the realization. "Wait, Y/n, you're saying you- you don't want to leave the village because you're scared you're gonna meet a boy and-"
"It's part of the reason why. There's more but..." Y/n smiles and it looks heartbreaking. "My plan didn't exactly work out, did it?"
Y/n meets her eyes and Jennie's heart lurches in her chest, her stomach tingling uncontrollably. "I'm sorry?"
And Y/n cracks a smile. "I'm not leaving the village, Jennie. I don't know... I'm not sure what your intentions were when you kissed me but- just, it's better if we just forget about it."
The words feel like a punch to the gut and Jennie isn't fast enough to mask the blatant hurt flaring in her eyes because Y/n's face falls once she sees it.
"But I like you," Jennie says, deciding to ignore all of Lisa's warnings, all the blaring alarms in her head, how her heart is already breaking just from looking into Y/n's troubled eyes.
Y/n's eyebrow twitches, her breath faltering. "Don't say that-"
I like you, Y/n."
"Why are you saying that?" Y/n asks, the flush on her cheeks betraying the irritation in her words. "You met me, what, a week ago? Is that how it is in the city? You meet a lesbian girl and just settle because you don't have much options and want to get laid-"
"No!" Jennie snaps, turning her whole upper body to face Y/n, desperate to make the older see that she isn't just fucking horny or settling. "Y/n, it's not like that. I can't- I can't explain it, okay? But I can't stop thinking about you. I tried, okay? I'm not stupid. I know how reckless and dangerous it is but I can't... I can't control it. My heart just beats faster around you."
The anger fades from Y/n's features with each word leaving Jennie's lips, replaced by something more raw and vulnerable. "Jennie."
"I like you," Jennie weakly repeats, feeling like her chest is going to crack open with how hard her heart is beating. "I'm still here for another three weeks. If you don't feel that way about me then I'll just- I'm not a douchebag. I'll leave you alone. But if you-" She has to take a calming breath because Y/n is blushing a lot right now and Jennie kind of feels like dying. "I mean, do you?" She ends up asking, sounding like a scared child.
"Do I what?"
"Like me?"
It's like the wind settles down around them, waiting, along with Jennie who's holding her breath.
Y/n doesn't answer, she doesn't say anything, but her eyebrows do that thing where they draw together and make her look so helpless, her eyes giving away what her lips refuse to.
Jennie gulps and slowly crosses the space between them, careful and hesitating, watching Y/n's eyes follow her movements like she's ready to bolt, her chest heaving more and more the closer Jennie gets.
Their hands touch where they're resting on the car, and the wind picks up again, carrying Y/n's addicting scent with it, and Jennie shudders when it hits her, that pull from yesterday night back, only ten times harder with no alcohol clouding her senses.
Jennie is about to ask for permission; the last thing she wants is to freak Y/n out or make her feel uncomfortable, but then Y/n's tongue darts out to wet her lips and Jennie can't suppress the whine in the back of her throat. Y/n's lips part at the sound and Jennie just shuts her brain off and leans in, gives Y/n's soft mouth a peck, like a dollop of honey, sweet and gentle, their lips slotting together perfectly.
Y/n freezes at the initial contact, but when Jennie pulls back with a quivering intake of air only to lean back in for a second kiss, Y/n melts.
She sighs against Jennie's lips, and kisses back. Tentative and hesitant.
Jennie cradles Y/n's cheek and Y/n curls her trembling hand into Jennie's shirt, pulling her closer, and everything is so strangely delicate Jennie doesn't know how what to do with herself and the way her body reacts to Y/n.
Jennie pulls away, her heart leaping when Y/n leans back in to kiss her again, not letting her go, and Jennie just lets herself be kissed because it feels like-
It feels like heaven.
It's pure longing the way Y/n pulls her in when Jennie wraps her arms around her, the way their chests are heaving, hasty breaths fanning over each others lips.
And then Y/n pulls away and presses her face into Jennie's shoulder, her hair tickling Jennie's cheeks and Jennie hugs her, waits for them to catch their breaths and for her heart to calm down.
"So..." Jennie asks after listening to nothing but the wind for a minute, her hands shaking a bit where she's gently resting them on the small of Y/n's back, feeling the warmth seeping through Y/n's thin shirt, the knobs of her spine pressing into Jennie's palms and Jennie just has this sudden, overwhelming urge to protect her. "Is that a yes? You like me too?"
Y/n's breath stutters against Jennie's neck, and then her shoulders shake as she lets out a muffled laugh, shaking her head as she presses closer into Jennie's body for a moment before pulling back.
And the thing is... Y/n is just beautiful.
She's so unfairly pretty with her fluffy hair and bright smile and the way her boxy shirt hangs from her frame, Jennie feels like her brain is about to melt out of her ears, unable to do anything but forget how to breathe and stare at the older girl.
"I got a bruise at work the other day because I wasn't paying attention," Y/n quietly says, struggling to meet Jennie's eyes, the blush on her cheeks never leaving. "I couldn't focus. I was- I kept thinking about you." She gulps and tentatively looks up, making Jennie's heart flutter wildly. "I wanted to be done so I could go home and see you."
Jennie wants to squeal but tries to control herself as she looks into Y/n's eyes. It's all slightly overwhelming and her heart starts to feel like it's too big for her chest. "This one?" She asks instead, reaching out to trail a finger over the blue, triangle shaped bruise in the bed of Y/n's elbow.
Y/n looks down where Jennie's fingers are touching her skin and she nods her head.
"Does it hurt?" Jennie asks, careful not to put any pressure on the bruise. She really doesn't like how marred Y/n's skin is; like it's so smooth, looks like caramel from how tanned she is, but there are all these bruises and cuts and they shouldn't be there.
"Not at all," Y/n shrugs and pulls her arm back so Jennie will stop looking at it.
The sun has disappeared behind the mountains by now, a thin line burning bright orange on the horizon still lingering around for the last few minutes before night starts settling in.
"Y/n," Jennie mumbles after a few moments of silence.
"Yes?"
"What happens now?"
Y/n kicks her feet, fingers curled around the edge of the car's trunk and looks down at the tiny daisies blooming amidst the green. "What do you want to happen?"
Instead of trying to find the right words, Jennie decides to go with her gut and takes Y/n's hand, hesitating for a second to see if Y/n is okay with it before she carefully laces their fingers together.
They stay like that for a moment, both looking down at their hands resting on Jennie's thigh. The shade of their skin is nearly similar but Y/n's has a warmer tone to it, being in the sun so often, while Jennie's natural skin seems almost dull and pale in comparison.
Jennie looks up at the older girl and sees Y/n's chest expand on a deep breath, her thumb slowly brushing over the knuckle of Jennie's index finger.
"I'm... Jennie, I'm dead if anyone finds out," Y/n whispers. "We should probably stay away from each other when others are around."
"Okay," Jennie mumbles and nods, her voice coming out smaller than she intended.
Y/n strokes the back of Jennie's hand with her thumb, giving Jennie a sombre look. "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault." Jennie squeezes her hand, hopes Y/n understands that she's there for her since no one else was in the past few years.
She can barely wrap her mind around the idea of keeping all those thoughts and feelings bottled up for so long with no possibility of letting them out or talking to anyone about them.
God, Y/n was ready to spend the rest of her live in this godforsaken village just to keep that part of her hidden.
Jennie suddenly feels the back of her eyes burn but no, she's not going to cry. She has no fucking reason to cry, not when Y/n is in this twisted situation with no way out.
"Hey," Y/n says, a frown appearing on her face. "Jennie, what's wrong?"
The concern in her eyes, the way she squeezes Jennie's hand and twists her body to face her properly, make tears pool in Jennie's eyes, and Y/n's entire face instantly falls at the sight.
Y/n seems to forget that she's a human clam, because she reaches out and cups Jennie's cheek, thumb brushing the thin skin underneath Jennie's eyes, just like she did a few nights ago. Jennie can't help but lean into the touch, barely able to stop herself from pressing a kiss into Y/n's palm.
"Why are you crying?"
"I don't know." Jennie feels so stupid but she can't control her tears or how hard her heart is pounding from Y/n's touch. Her lower lip wobbles and Y/n catches the tear with her thumb when it finally rolls down Jennie's cheek.
Y/n's lips curl into a gentle smile. "Such a baby."
"Y/n," Jennie whines, squeezing her eyes shut when a sob makes it's way out of her throat.
Y/n chuckles and coos at her, pulling Jennie closer until her face is pressed into Y/n's shoulder. "I don't understand how a grown ass girl like you can be... so cute."
Jennie laughs but it sounds horrible, a mixture of snot and tears blending into the sound, and she wraps her arms around Y/n's waist like she can protect her from everyone who'd be throwing hurtful words at her if they knew about them.
The way Y/n brushes her fingers through the Jennie's long hair and the by now familiar scent of her earthy cologne mixed with the peachy smell of her clothes makes Jennie stop crying like an idiot eventually.
When Y/n asks her again what's wrong, Jennie simply shakes her head and rests her head more comfortably on Y/n's shoulder.
Her brain is already working on a million ways on how to help Y/n. No one can expect Jennie to just leave this place in three weeks and forget about this girl, she can't and she won't, but she doesn't think Y/n would like the idea of her trying to save her very much, so she keeps her mouth firmly shut for now.
"Can we take a nap?" Jennie asks and Y/n nods her head, turning her face to bury her nose in Jennie's hair for a second before pulling away from the hug.
Y/n is a bit awkward still, it's evident in the way she slowly spreads her arm out so Jennie can use it as a pillow later when they're lying in the trunk of the pickup truck under the pink and blue dusk.
Their faces are close in that position with Jennie resting her head on Y/n's arm, her heart fluttering when Y/n curls her arm around Jennie's shoulder to pull her a bit closer. It's different from everything else Jennie has ever done with a girl.
It's never felt this intimate and it's never felt like the other person particularly cared beyond making sure Jennie was down to have sex with them.
"What if a wolf shows up?" Jennie asks.
Y/n smiles and Jennie feels like her heart is bulging at the seams as she engraves the pretty curl of Y/n's lips in her mind, resisting the urge to lean in and imprint it on her own mouth, too. "You could try talking to it. Maybe there's a hot girly hiding underneath all that fur."
Jennie snorts. "Why would I want that? I already have you."
Y/n blushes like crazy, and Jennie grins, feeling high and giddy, until Y/n pinches her hip and tells her to go to sleep.
So Jennie closes her eyes and immediately feels the heaviness of sleep pulling at her eyelids.
Y/n shifts a bit closer and Jennie melts a bit when she feels Y/n rub her palm over the thin fabric of Jennie's shirt at her back, the tips of her fingers running over the ridges of Jennie's ribs.
It doesn't take long for the warm and secure feeling of Y/n's arm around her to lull her into a much needed sleep.
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