They leave through the door at the back, not the front where Seulgi is probably rubbing Seokmin's back while he's throwing up.
Seulgi's house is situated more so on the outside of the village, meaning when you look at the scenery on the back, it's just a large grass field followed by a dark forest, never ending forest. It's eery, it really is, because Jennie doesn't even want to know what sort of animals lurk in there.
It's hard to make out anything in the darkness of the night; only the outlines of the mountains are visible due to how bright the stars are.
Y/n leans against the wooden fence and fiddles with the box of cigarettes while Jennie is once again too fascinated by the stars hanging in the sky to look at anything else. There's a cool breeze in the air and she can hear bells clinking whenever either cows or sheep move somewhere in their stables.
It's such a peaceful night though with crickets chirping seemingly everywhere around them.
"Fuck," Y/n curses quietly, making Jennie lower her head to look at her.
"What is it?" Jennie asks, stepping closer to the fence.
Y/n sighs and crumples the box in her hand. "Ran out."
"That's good, though, isn't it?" Jennie asks, folding her arms over the fence, facing the dark forest and mountains while Y/n is leaning against it with her back, facing the other way and the back of Jin's house.
"I guess," Y/n mutters. Her voice shakes and when Jennie glances at her she picks up on the jumpiness; the way she's shaking her knee, the slight tremor to her fingers, the way Y/n clenches and unclenches her jaw.
"Or not," Jennie chuckles pityingly. "When did you have your last one?"
"Yesterday at work," Y/n answers, bringing her hand up to run it through her hair. She closes her eyes and tilts her head back and Jennie can't help but stare oddly intimate it makes her swallow heavily.
Shit.
Maybe it's the alcohol she had, but Jennie is having a really hard time tonight keeping her thoughts and actions at bay. She digs her blunt fingernails into the wood of the fence, trying to ground herself.
"You know, a friend of mine back in the city, she used to be a really bad chainsmoker. She tried just about everything to stop but you know what eventually helped her?"
Y/n blinks her eyes open and turns to face her. Jennie swears she sees the stars' reflection in her eyes. "What?"
"Whenever she had the urge to smoke she kissed her gi-" Jennie glances at Y/n, relieved to find that the older girl didn't notice her slip. "Her boyfriend. She'd just make out with him until the urge went away."
A tiny laugh leaves Y/n's mouth. "Well, it's a shame I don't have a boyfriend, isn't it?"
Jennie cracks a nervous smile and slowly nods her head, eyes searching Y/n's. "Yeah... Shame."
Y/n licks her lips and Jennie nearly pops a vein, the wood giving in under the relentless pressure of her fingers. The air feels so charged around them Jennie doesn't dare move, and she doesn't think she could look away from Y/n even if she wanted to.
It's like they're opposite poles because Jennie can feel the pull, and maybe it's just her, but it tugs at her chest and stomach and legs, urging her to lean in and touch Y/n, her heart thudding heavily and Jennie is torn between starting to hate the constant feeling and wanting more of it.
But Y/n suddenly seems to come back to her senses. She closes her eyes and shakes her head, pushing away from the fence and Jennie hears her curse quietly, her heart dropping to the bottom of her stomach at the whispered "Shit" Y/n lets out.
Jennie sighs, her pulse kicking up again, and she pushes herself off the fence as well.
Y/n hasn't moved away that far; she's just standing there with her back facing Jennie, seemingly staring into nothing.
"Y/n," Jennie says, frustration and confusion blending into her voice. She should stop. Jennie should just leave it be and go back inside but she doesn't want to. There's really only one thing she wants, this whole village and their religious beliefs be damned. "Y/n, can we... can we talk or, please just hear me out-"
Y/n suddenly spins around and closes up on her, Jennie stumbling back in surprise and nearly tripping over her feet if Y/n didn't reach out to grip her arm and steady her.
"Uhm," Jennie dumbly says.
Y/n's eyes are frantically moving over Jennie's face and her chest is heaving a bit. "Talk about what?"
Jennie gulps, not sure what she's supposed to say. "This."
"I don't know what you mean."
"Really?" Jennie licks her lips and Y/n looks pained. "So I'm- I'm the only one feeling like this?"
Y/n glares at her for a moment longer, and then her whole face just crumples, her shoulders sagging. "I don't know- I can't-"
She sounds so lost and confused it makes Jennie's chest ache, and she's about to pull away again when Jennie doesn't speak for a few tense seconds but Jennie quickly springs into action and grips Y/n's wrist, pulling her back.
"Y/n," Jennie starts, her heart stuck in her throat, ignoring all the warning signals in her head because Y/n is so close and she looks so conflicted and like she can't breathe and Jennie is been known to listen to her heart rather than her head. "I- I'm not scared," She repeats the same thing she said last night and gulps when she sees Y/n's eyes flash with understanding.
"But I am," Y/n's voice cracks and Jennie can feel her hand trembling where she's still holding Y/n's wrist. "I shouldn't want to-" Y/n stops and looks away. "It's wrong. It's wrong."
That's nothing Jennie hasn't heard before, but it still doesn't hurt less to hear it.
She waits for Y/n to scrape up the courage to meet Jennie's eyes again. They're red rimmed, like Y/n is fighting tears.
She's that scared.
Jennie gulps and shakes her head. "It's not wrong."
"It is," Y/n hisses, jaw clenching. "People would- They wouldn't let me live if they knew."
Jennie feels her heart drop all the way to her stomach, anger flaring in her chest. "Just tell me something."
Y/n's eyebrows twitch. "What?"
"Does it feel wrong?"
And Jennie knows she might end up with a marked cheek tonight, or even worse than that, but she doesn't even think that far anymore.
She doesn't think beyond the shade of red that makes up Y/n's lips when she leans in and presses a fleeting kiss into them.
Jennie can't really breathe and Y/n tenses up against her in stark contrast to the softness of her lips.
It can barely be called a kiss; just a gentle brush of lips but the meaning behind it is there.
Jennie pulls away quickly, her heart going crazy and skin tingling, and she expects Y/n to start cursing at her, or go straight for a slap but none of that happens.
When she blinks her eyes open, Y/n is just staring at her, wide eyed with flushed cheeks and her hand-
Her hand that's still curled around Jennie's arm, pulls Jennie closer, like a silent plea.
And maybe Jennie is reading everything wrong, but she wants to, she desperately wants to kiss Y/n again and she inhales shakily when Y/n leans in, fingers so tight around Y/n's arm it might leave some bruise, not that Jennie cares.
She feels Y/n's warm breath on her lips and closes her eyes right before their lips brush, then separate for a second where Jennie hears Y/n suck in a breath and suddenly lean in to press their lips together again in the next moment.
Jennie's knees feel slightly unsteady because she can't remember the last time a kiss has felt like this, so nerve wrecking but fulfilling and the way Y/n sighs into it, her mouth pliant and so soft, makes Jennie tilt her head and kiss Y/n deeper. Their breaths are fanning across each other's faces, Jennie pulling Y/n closer and feeling her shudder at every hesitant brush of their lips.
She doesn't know how many times they kiss, but their chests are heaving and she can barely breathe anymore by the end of it. She pulls back and is terrified to open her eyes, not wanting to let go of the warm feeling that's spreading in every inch of her body, but she eventually does.
Y/n is standing there, her eyes still closed, her pretty mouth slightly agape, her skin slightly flushed, and Jennie did that.
"Y/n," She whispers, her throat feeling dry and hands tingling and body screaming to lean in and kiss the girl again and again, but she can't. "Look at me."
Y/n opens her eyes, blushing even more when she finally meets Jennie's gaze. She doesn't say anything, just stares at Jennie.
"Say something."
"I-" Y/n starts but just ends up staring again. Jennie licks her lips, trying to ignore how Y/n's eyes follow the movement. And it's like Y/n's brain finally starts working again, because her grip on Jennie's arm loosens until it slips away entirely. "I should go."
She might as well have just given Jennie a slap.
Jennie just stares at her, unable to move and unable to open her mouth and tell Y/n that there's only so much running away you can do before reality catches up with you. Jennie's been there, the denial, self-hatred, she's been through all of it, so she has no right to get at mad at Y/n.
Maybe it's not Y/n she's mad at. Maybe it's this village, all these people here with their outdated beliefs, their harsh words and hatred that make Y/n believe that this is wrong.
If the circumstances were different, Jennie would kick up a fuss. She would tell the other person that it's kind of an asshole move to just leave like that after a kiss, but she doesn't think she can do much right now.
Y/n looks at her for another second before she turns around and walks away, disappearing inside the house.
Jennie stares after her, her chest aching horribly. She's stupid. This is all her own fault. What did she expect to happen? Did she expect Y/n to ask her to be her girlfriend? It's not- It's not possible, not here in this village, maybe not even in this country.
The odds were against her from the beginning and Lisa warned her and Jennie didn't listen, because she never does.
A sudden noise makes her head snap up and she proceeds to stare at Y/n with wide eyes, her brain not really processing what's happening when she sees the older girl standing there again.
Y/n swallows heavily and steps closer, and closer, and suddenly Jennie is in her arms.
Y/n is shaking a bit and her breaths come out in nervous little puffs against Jennie's ear, but she's hugging Jennie, and she's so warm and gentle and Jennie feels her nose prickle with the sudden urge to cry.
"It- It didn't feel wrong," Y/n mumbles into her ear.
Jennie closes her eyes and carefully presses closer into Y/n. "Okay."
"Can you-" Y/n exhales shakily, arms tightening around Jennie's waist. "Can you say it again?"
Jennie doesn't instantly know what Y/n means but once she understands, her heart just completely breaks and her arms slide around Y/n's back before she can stop herself. "It's not wrong. There's nothing wrong with you, Y/n."
Y/n takes a deep breath and nuzzles into Jennie's neck and it sends tingles down her spine, her sweet scent making Jennie feel heady. The cool breeze ruffles their hair and nips at Jennie's skin where her shirt has ridden up and she shivers, feels Y/n tighten her arms around her as if to warm Jennie up.
She can feel Y/n's heart racing, she can feel it, the erratic little pounding on her chest where Y/n's body is pressing against her own, and everything about it makes Jennie feel things she probably shouldn't be feeling this soon.
Y/n pulls away after a moment, her arms slowly sliding away from around Jennie, taking the warmth with her. The flush of her skin has spread all the way down her neck, to her collarbones and chest and down into her shirt and-
"You can't tell anyone," Y/n mumbles, shaking her head. "I can't- I can't just... I have to think of my family. No one can know."
And just as fast as the nice feelings came, they're gone again, making room for the anxiety and mild panic over their whole twisted situation to kick in. "I won't tell a soul."
Y/n's face falls a bit and she looks away, sniffling.
Jennie can't really look her in the eyes, so she drops her gaze to the ground, her mind already running all sorts of scenarios in her head, trying to figure out what's going to happen, if this was just an experiment to Y/n, if it was a prank to out her, if tomorrow the whole village will know-
"I'll see you tomorrow," Y/n interrupts her thoughts and when Jennie looks up at her with an unconvinced expression Y/n shakes her head. "I- I promise. I'll come see you tomorrow."
"Careful, Y/n, I don't take promises lightly," Jennie says, trying to lighten up the mood no matter how worried she is.
"Me neither," Y/n answers, giving Jennie a pointed look, and Jennie believes her.
Y/n's eyes drop to Jennie's mouth again, and her flush gets worse for a second before she turns around and walks away.
Jennie watches her duck her head and disappear inside the house, barely managing to step aside when Joohyun appears in front of her. She hears Y/n utter out an apology before She hurries off, catches Joohyun's confused gaze and quickly averts her eyes before they can give anything away.
She crosses her arms over her chest and walks out to stand on the steps, tilting her head as she looks at Jennie.
It's silent for a minute, in fact, Jennie can almost hear the flow of the river behind her somewhere even though it's far away from Seulgi's house. She doesn't know why She's so scared to face the girl but She can't bring herself to look her in the eyes all of a sudden.
She hears Joohyun sigh and her bare feet move across the wooden stairs and She faintly lifts her head to look what she's doing, finding that she's sitting on the top step, her eyes gentle on her. She pats the space next to her and Jennie takes a calming breath, moving to sit down next to her, only now realizing how much her legs are shaking.
Joohyun shuffles over to make space for her, wrapping her arms around herself when the wind nips at their skin a little too much, tugging a few strands out of her ponytail.
Jennie sniffles and stares into the darkness in front of them, her heart having yet to calm down, lips tingling with the ghost of Y/n's mouth. She can barely handle all the emotions brewing inside of her, excitement and fear, this want for Y/n that's so overwhelming it feels like it's just going to knock her over at one point. And now that Jennie knows how Y/n tastes, how her lips feel, She just wants her even more.
She's the first to break the silence, taking a deep breath and tilting her head back towards the bright night sky. "It's pretty, isn't it?"
Jennie drags her thoughts away from Y/n and turns to look at Joohyun next to her, following her line of sight. The stars sparkle down on them, and maybe they'll be lucky enough tonight to spot a shooting star. "Yeah, it is."
Joohyun drops her head after a while and Jennie's face twists into a frown when She feels the air around them shift, Joohyun suddenly seeming a lot smaller, her eyes downcast. Just very unlike her.
"You okay?" Jennie gently asks.
"I hate this place," Joohyun whispers, slowly, like she's scared someone might hear her.
Jennie just blinks at her, uncertain as to what to say. "I don't think you belong here."
She slowly turns her head, meeting Jennie's eyes, and somehow Jennie isn't surprised to see her holding back tears. It doesn't mean it's any less heart breaking, though. Jennie may have met her only last week, but Joohyun's been constantly smiling and teasing whenever She saw her, and she's easy to talk to, and Jennie just somehow just liked her right from the start, so seeing her upset doesn't sit well with her at all.
"You're not being careful, Jennie," She quietly says, the corner of her mouth lifting into a tired little smile.
Jennie swallows heavily, thinking her words through carefully, not wanting to give anything away. "What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean."
"I don't think I do."
Joohyun sighs and shakes her head. "Y/n can't leave, Jennie. You can, whenever you want, you can leave. Run away from all this. But She's stuck here. If you... If you're not careful and someone hears of it, She'll be the one to bear the brunt. She already took the fall for her dad once, don't make her go through the same for you- "
"I wouldn't," Jennie interrupts her, her voice coming out too loud and harsh, the sudden anger and urge to protect Y/n making her unable to shut her mouth. "I wouldn't just leave her here, I would-"
"So I was right," Joohyun whispers, her eyes wide. Jennie realizes her mistake a second too late and everything just kind of stops. She tries to find words but ends up just staring at Joohyun like a scared child, her face falling at the obvious fear in Jennie's eyes. "Oh, Jennie."
-
Jennie could potentially ruin Y/n's life, She can't, She can't do that.
"Joohyun," Jennie scrambles to explain, her throat closing up because shit, this is bad. This is so fucking bad. Jennie doesn't even care anymore what happens to her, She'll gladly leave and never come back to this place but Joohyun was right; this is Y/n's home. "Y/n has nothing to do with this. Look, I know you have no reason to help me, but please, I'm begging you don't tell anyone. I forced myself on her, I- "
"Stop, Jennie, stop," Joohyun squeezes her eyes shut and shakes her head. "You stupid idiot. Are you listening to yourself? You're like an oversized puppy, you could never force yourself on anyone."
"I swear Y/n didn't-"
"Yeah, and next you're going to try and make me believe Y/n doesn't look at you like the sun shines out of your ass?"
Jennie just kind of freezes, struggling to breathe properly. "What?"
"I've known Y/n my whole life," Joohyun quietly says. "If- If there is something there, then Y/n is just as responsible as you."
She calmly stares at Jennie, and there's no signs of anger or disgust on her face. She still looks at her the same way she did yesterday, and Jennie is so extremely confused She has a hard time remembering how to talk.
"Please just- Please, Joohyun. Don't tell anyone. You can't tell anyone. Y/n would..." Jennie's throat closes up. She doesn't know why She's so scared, why the thought of Y/n getting hurt scares her more than what could happen to Jennie herself.
"Do you really think I would do that?" Joohyun tilts her head, She pretty eyes suddenly looking so tired, like they've seen more than Jennie could ever imagine. "Jennie, your secret is safe with me. But can you promise me something, too?"
Jennie's still busy staring at her, trying to understand why Joohyun isn't- why she isn't reacting. As if finding out that Jennie and Y/n... that they did something men shouldn't do, according to their society. "Promise you what?"
Joohyun doesn't answer immediately. She looks away for a moment, the wind blowing some of her strands into her face. "If I ever need your help in the near future, you will do it. No questions asked."
"What would you need my help with?"
"I said no questions asked."
"Jooyhun- "
"Do you promise?" She reaches her hand out, offering Jennie her little pinkie and Jennie just looks her in the eyes for a second, and She sees a kind of determination there She's never seen before, and it scares her. A part of her doesn't want to make this promise, not because She's scared, but She's worried about Joohyun. "Jennie."
"Okay," She mumbles and links their pinkies together, thumbs kissing in the middle to seal the promise. "I promise."
"Good." Joohyun nods, taking a deep breath and moving as if to get up and go back inside.
"Joohyun, wait." Jennie stops her, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion when she turns to give her a curious look. "Why- Why are you so okay with this? With... with Y/n, and me."
Joohyun blinks at her, reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, a strange smile tugging on her lips. "Are you asking me why I'm being a decent human being?"
"But it doesn't make sense. No one here is... everyone is..."
"I know how the villagers are. But I'm not," She says. "I would be a hypocrite if I judged you or Y/n for who you like."
Jennie shakes her head. "I don't get it."
Joohyun sighs and gets up, smiling down at Jennie. "Just, remember that promise, okay?"
----
Finally the longgg waited kiss