Well, here it is my loves, the final chapter of Well-Bred! I hope you all enjoy this chapter and I hope i've given you and this story a well-deserved ending. Thank you all for coming on this ride with me and my apologies for taking as long as I did. Thank you for leaving comments and for sharing how much you love this story with me. I've had this ending planned from the beginning so i hope you love it as much as i do! And who knows maybe there will be an epilogue if you all want a little more 😏
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Kylo
The day was gloomy and the wind whipped around the bare trees making the air colder. Kylo stood still as a statue, letting the snow dance around him as it fell. The snow usually gave him a sense of comfort. The silence it brings and the soft way it falls and stills everything it covers. But today it did not give him those feelings. Today, it just soaked him to the bone and reminded him of how much he's grown to hate the silence. How he'd become so used to having her with him, that the silence is only a reminder that she was not. His eyes ached from the lack of sleep and burned from the number of times he had to rub the tears away from his eyes.
The past few days had felt like years. His mother was staying at his penthouse, constantly checking on him to see if he was okay. She would bug him to eat until he finally had something to fill his stomach. She tried to coax him into watching a movie or talking through things but his bed always seemed to provide more solace. It still smelled like her.
His mother was being strong for him when she didn't have to be. But her support, even if he didn't want to admit it, was helping him. He couldn't deny that a part of him deep down felt comforted by his mother's actions. He'd thought about the things a mother would do for her son for so many years in that dark basement, for the years after too. How she would care for him, kiss him better if he fell and scraped his knee, how she would be a friend to him when the kids at school would pick on him. It felt good to have her around more regularly even though it took these circumstances for it to happen. It was obvious that her attentiveness towards him was also a way to distract herself from the sadness and grief she was pushing deep down. But he knew he couldn't let her face all of it alone.
He had to be strong.
The whip of the bitter wind brought him back to reality and out of his thoughts. The mahogany casket lay before him ready to be dropped into the ground. Leia stood beside him, arm wrapped around his own. He almost needed her to keep him upright. His jaw clenched, and his hands balled into fists as he watched the wood get lowered into the ground.
This was all his fault. He should've been more careful. He would never forgive himself for this. Because of him, they'd never have the time to learn more about each other. They'd never get to share stories and make up for the time they had lost before.
Once the casket was rested on the dirt floor of the grave that was dug, the preacher said a few words, and we were given the opportunity to toss a handful of soil onto the coffin. The tradition is to symbolize that the deceased has returned to where they came from. But to Kylo it just solidifies the fact that this was truly the end. A life had ended because of his stupid mistakes. An important fucking life. He couldn't stand here any longer. He needed to go. The sight of the wood in the ground just reminded him of everything he did wrong.
He kissed his mom on the head and whispered, "I'm sorry," before walking back to his car. He was covered in snow but right now he couldn't be bothered by his cold and damp state. He was numb to any feeling.
He put his car in drive and raced off, not looking back.
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It was cold and dark and your whole body felt like it wanted to give up. You were trudging through the snow trying to stay bundled up with the coat that covered your body. The street lamps were lit but the very dim light offered no illumination on who the figure in front of you was. You squinted, hoping that the narrowing of your eyes would magically allow you to see clearer.
You recognized that shape, that large frame that walked before you. You started to call out his name but he kept walking ahead, never looking back. You ran trying to get closer to him, trying to get him to notice you. Why wasn't he noticing you? You closed the space between you and your hand came out from beside you to tap his shoulder.
You whispered his name, your voice in your own ears barely able to be heard. He didn't flinch, he just kept walking. You could feel the frustration building and you got ahead of him placing both hands on his shoulders. This caused him to stop but he never looked up. You shook him and screamed his name as you felt that familiar fear build inside you. You've had this dream before. And you were going to fight for a different ending this time.
"Look at me!" You screamed. "Why won't you look at me!"
You felt the warm tears falling down your cheeks as you screamed at him. Holding on to the hope that his eyes would meet yours. You weren't going to give up on him even as you felt the light bleeding in through the scene trying to signal the end.
"Kylo! Please!" Your voice broke as you gripped him. And then finally, as if he could feel your agony, his eyes lifted to yours, recognition seeping into those hazel irises. His hands grabbed your face, his smile big and bright as if he'd spent years searching for you and just found you. As if he'd been so alone and finally got you back in his arms. Your eyes leaked with more tears and you couldn't stop them as you smiled. His own eyes welling with tears, his relief so apparent. He didn't waste any time wrapping his arms around you.
"Finally," he said. "I finally got you back."
You were back in his arms. You were home.
You
Your eyes opened, once again having to adjust to the bright lights of the hospital room. Realizing the contents of that dream had been similar to one you had before but knowing that it ended much differently. You had to smile to yourself because you had rewritten it. Fate was in your favor now.
The weight in your hand as it squeezed your own caused your head to turn. Kylo sat on the chair beside your bed, his hand connected with yours. His touch was gentle but you could feel how he was clutching your hand, not wanting to let you go. Concern and worry were written all over his face and all you wanted to do was take that away from him. You gave him a small smile hoping it might help a bit. To let him know that there's nothing for him to worry about.
"Hi," you said, your voice hoarse from not having spoken in the few hours that you'd slept.
You were okay. You both were okay.
You don't remember much of what happened after Kylo's frantic call to 9-1-1. But you remember everything that happened before. You remember the fear and terror that coursed through your body. You remember Snoke's vicious words and wondering how in the hell he was able to get past security and break into Kylo's penthouse. You remember Snoke's lifeless body lying in a pool of his own blood as Kylo dropped the gun from his hand and rushed to you. He had no time to process what he'd done because he was desperate to save you. You remember that one feeling that was so much stronger than your fear when Snoke stood before you aiming his gun. The need to protect Kylo. He had already been hurt too many times by that man and you weren't going to let it happen again. You don't regret jumping in front of the bullet. You'd do it all over again if it meant Kylo would be safe. Even if your body ached like hell, where the bullet had pierced you.
"Just shy of your heart," the surgeon had said. "You're incredibly lucky."
Kylo cursed to himself and had left the room for hours after hearing that news. You had been so afraid he might not come back. You were in and out, your body clearly needing the rest to heal, but every time you would open your eyes, Kylo would be there. He never left your side. You will never forget his eyes each time you would wake back up after hours and hours of sleep. It was like he almost wasn't expecting you to wake up but when you did, relief washed over his whole body.
You had thought you were going to die that night. The pain and the loss of consciousness, the memories flashing before your eyes before they finally shut as you laid still in Kylo's arms. The cold. Gods the cold you felt. It was unlike anything you'd ever experienced. It wasn't like walking out in New York City on a fifteen-degree day. Everything was cold. You felt it seeping into your bones, through your veins, into every nook and cranny of your body. But you never lost the fight you had. To come back to him. Everything in you wanted to stay. For him. To be with him. To have a life with him. Something inside you knew you'd never leave him. Not if you had anything to say about it.
"You were thrashing in your sleep," Kylo's raw voice filled your ears, bringing you back. "Were you dreaming of...did you have a nightmare about..." He dropped his head, shaking it from side to side. He couldn't bring himself to talk about what had happened. He hadn't been able to for days. You knew he felt nothing but guilt. He felt it was his fault that you landed up here again. You tried to tell him there was nothing he could've done differently. He couldn't have known what was waiting for you that night. You reassured him every day that you were okay. But it wasn't enough, not after you did end up losing someone that day.
You squeezed his hand and shook your head. "No," you smiled. "It might've started out a little scary but that dream...it ended how I always wanted it to." The corner of his lips twitched into what was supposed to be a smile but it was riddled with sadness.
"Were Rey and Poe here already?" He asked, his voice still scratchy with emotion. "Yes, and Finn. They left a little bit before you came. We called mom too," You smiled. "You all are so worried," you said bringing your hand up to caress his cheek. "I'm perfectly fine. The doctors said I'm healthy and there were no complications. I'll make a full recovery." He dropped his head from your hand and nodded. He didn't believe it and you wanted him to so badly. You hated seeing him this way. The only thing you could do right now is just get his mind off of it. So, you asked him the first thing that came to your mind which probably wasn't any better.
"How was the funeral?" You asked softly. You knew how painful it must have been for him to be there. But his mother needed him right now. She had just lost her brother.
When you woke up for the first time after your surgery things were foggy. The moments came back in pieces and hit like a semi-truck. But Kylo had spared you that first time, choosing not to tell you what they'd found after rushing you to the hospital. It wasn't until he felt like you could hear it, that he told you. Snoke was making his rounds it seemed. He went to visit Luke first, somehow finding out where he was staying even though he had been so cautious with picking his hiding spot. Leia had offered for him to stay with her but he didn't want to put her in any danger. Now we know if they would've been together Kylo would've lost an uncle and a mother that day. Leia was going to be the next stop after you and Kylo.
Kylo hadn't talked much about what he did that night. He had killed Snoke but it was out of self-defense. The cops had cleared him almost instantly after seeing the state you were in as well as security footage from the penthouse. You knew he hated feeling the way he did. Guilty for killing someone, for taking a life. But clearly not wanting to feel guilty about it because it was someone who had caused him so much pain, who killed his father, his uncle. Someone who almost killed you. A bad man who did bad things.
"It was...a funeral. Leia was glad to have me there."
"I'm sure," you smiled. There was a long pause before you heard Kylo say your name, his voice cracking from holding back tears. You could see the water swelling in his eyes and you cradled his face in your hands.
"Kylo, it's okay. You can let it out. It's just me. Your tears won't hurt me." You watched as Kylo held tight to your hand. His forehead rested on your knuckles as his body started to shake.
"I'm so sorry. It's all my fault that you're here again. That you're hurt again. It's all my fault. You'd be better off if you'd never even met me. I put you in danger one too many times. I won't let it happen again. If I would be gone from your life-"
Oh no. You were not going to let him finish that sentence. Hell, you would not let him do this to you again. He was not going to leave you to protect you. You already knew you felt safer when he was with you than apart. He knew that too. But he was second-guessing everything right now and you needed to assure him that him staying with you was exactly what you need. That you needed him.
"You're not going to do this to me again Kylo. I know what you're thinking and this time I will not let you walk out of that door unless I am with you. So, stop thinking what you're thinking right now. We need each other. I need you. We're going to get through this together. It's not your fault I'm here, it's Snoke's. I knew what I was doing when I agreed to be with you. I knew the risks. And I wouldn't change a goddamn thing if it meant I got to be with you and make more memories with you that I'll cherish all my life. So, you don't get to leave. You're going to stay here. With me."
Kylo watched you as you spoke, his eyes glossy with the tears threatening to fall down his cheeks. He absorbed everything you said, you could see it. You knew he was fighting himself. Every one of his instincts was telling him to run. Running was all he's ever known. He didn't want to see you hurt again, he couldn't bear it. But he saw how scared you were that he'd leave you again. He saw how much you needed him to stay. And ultimately, you were more important to him than anything. And he knew leaving you again would hurt you, he'd end up doing to you what he was trying to avoid anyway.
He nodded his head as the tears started to fall. "I'll stay, I promise. I'm not going anywhere. I'm just...so sorry. I know those words aren't nearly enough for what I put you through but it's all I have right now." At that he let his emotions go. You held his hand tight, doing your best to comfort him in any way that you could. You wished you weren't confined to a damn hospital bed, barely able to move. You wanted to wrap your arms around him and let him cry. You knew everything he was feeling was coming to a head. The grief from the loss of his father and his uncle, the guilt of killing a man, and the guilt of putting you in harm's way again. He was letting it all out and honestly you couldn't be more proud of him. This Kylo? He had grown so much from the one you met a few years ago. Your heart swelled with how vulnerable he was able to be with you now.
The familiar sound of his sobs took you back to the last time you were in this hospital room. Yes, they had put you back in the same exact room, what a coincidence. But back then you hadn't seen him cry. So why did it sound so familiar?
Suddenly it was as if a part of your brain unlocked, hidden memories you didn't know were stored came rushing out. There weren't any images, only sounds. Voices, tears, words. It must have been everything you heard while you were in your coma. You heard something like this could happen. That coma patients could sometimes still hear their loved ones while they were asleep. You just thought you weren't one of those people. Being back in this room must've triggered all those conversations to come back. You heard Rey and Finn. Poe and your mom. You heard Kylo. And one thing he said played over and over again in your head.
"You have no idea how much I wish I could let myself love you."
You could practically hear his broken voice as he said it. All this time he's been holding back because he didn't think he deserved you. Because he didn't think himself capable of loving someone. He left you for a year knowing deep down that he loved you. You almost wanted to be angry but found nothing close to that fiery feeling in you. He couldn't help it that no one showed him how to love. No one showed him that it was okay to love. His whole adult life was lived thinking that love was a form of weakness. Love is so far from a form of weakness. It's the strongest feeling in the world. A feeling that produces happiness, peace, joy, acceptance, and compassion. Love truly can conquer all. And you are tired of Kylo not feeling like he's allowed to feel it, to receive it.
"Kylo," you whispered. His sobs had retreated more into silent tears and it hurt your heart to see him like this. He looked up at you and noticed your face covered in shock.
"What's wrong? Are you okay? Should I call for the nurse?" He was frantic, consumed with worry about a simple change in your expression. You squeezed his hand and motioned for him to sit back down with your head.
"I'm perfectly fine, Kylo. I promise." You smiled trying to ease his worry.
"Then what is it, princess?" His eyes were trained on you, waiting for your every word.
"I've always felt like a part of me was missing since being in my coma," you started. "Like I was forgetting something. Being back here seems to have jogged that missing piece inside of me. All the conversations I missed being a part of but heard." You paused, watching him to see if he was understanding what you were saying.
"Kylo I heard every single thing that you said to me while I was sleeping. And now it's all come back to me. I remember it all."
His face was a mixture of slight horror and confusion. He was probably remembering everything he had said back then and realizing that I had heard it all, terrified him.
"I was worried for you so, a lot of the things I said weren't-"
"Kylo," you said cutting him off. You knew what he said was true. That it came from his heart. He knew it too but he was afraid to admit it out loud.
"Let go of the pain for a moment. Let go of all the hurt. Let go of the notion that you can't love. Because I know you do. I heard you Kylo, every word. And do not think for a second that no one can love you because I do. I've stopped myself from saying it since Singapore because I saw how you freaked out. And then you left. But even when you were gone, even when you broke my heart I still loved you. Because you're it for me Kylo. I love you. And I always will whether you like it or not."
Now it was Kylo's turn to be shocked.
"I'm begging you Kylo, let go. Let yourself love again."
There was a long moment of silence where you didn't know what to think. You were scared Kylo would leave like he did the last time, too afraid to face what he knew to be true deep in his heart. But when Kylo looked into your eyes, his own red-rimmed from his tears, your breath caught in your throat. Your heart started thumping in your chest.
Kylo stood slowly and you watched his every move. His hand reached out for your face, his touch so delicate, terrified he might break you. His forehead rested against your own and you closed your eyes. You took in a deep breath, inhaled his familiar masculine scent, and leaned into his touch. You knew he was taking his time, psyching himself up. For what, you weren't entirely sure but you hoped maybe it was to say those three words. You knew he needed to let it out. You knew he loved you from his actions but you needed to hear it from his lips and he needed to say it to overcome this fear he's had since he was a child.
He tilted your head slightly with his hands letting his lips caress yours ever so lightly. Then he pressed you together in a warm and soft kiss. He was hungry to taste you but kept himself restrained, knowing how sore your body was and how even the slightest of movements caused you pain right now.
He was always able to convey so much in one kiss and as his lips moved against yours you felt everything he was giving...everything he was saying. You whimpered from the intensity and Kylo drew back immediately thinking he might've hurt you. His eyes scanned over your face but you gave him a warm smile before he could voice his worries. He stayed right where he was, his face only inches from your own, and holding your face in his hands.
"I am so glad that you are okay, princess. And I do, you know?" He said that question in a soft whisper as his forehead pressed into your own once again.
"You do what, Kylo?" You swallowed the lump in your throat as your heart rate picked up even more.
"I..." He took a deep breath. "I love you."
You couldn't help the wide grin that covered your face and you tilted your head up to meet his lips again. Your stomach was doing somersaults with the immense joy and happiness you felt at that moment. You kissed him with so much fervor and wanting that he chuckled against you. You didn't care about any of the pain the movements might've caused your body. It was worth it to kiss him. To kiss the man you loved. You giggled, your lips breaking so you could take in his face. He wore a big smile, something akin to disbelief also shining through.
"I can't believe I said that," he chuckled again. "Don't get me wrong I've wanted to say it for so long but...I'm glad I finally grew some balls and said it. You deserve to hear that, baby. That I love you. You deserve to know that you are loved. I'm sorry it took me so long."
"You don't have to apologize, Kylo. I knew those words...that feeling, was difficult for you. I saw how much you loved me every day through your actions. Hearing it only means that we've finally reached that level of trust. That you feel safe to be truly vulnerable with me. I always knew that part of your heart was still closed off but now I feel like it's all finally mine."
"Ben. You can...call me Ben, if you'd like. That is my real name after all. And something tells me I'll really like hearing you say it."
"Mm, okay, Ben." You said with laughter in your voice. After hearing it roll off your tongue you scrunched up your nose a little. "I don't know. It's going to have to take some getting used to. I might still call you Kylo. It's sexy." You pause. "Not saying that Ben isn't sexy I mean, it's you. You're always sexy."
He chuckled and brushed his lips along yours. "As long as you're the one calling me by either, it doesn't matter to me."
Your face heated with the sentiment. You both really were head over heels for each other. And what a ride you had to get here. The things that happened to you during your time with Kylo felt like they were pulled right out of an action novel or a teen drama tv show. But it was real. You lived it. You were kidnapped, shot at, broken up with, and stalked. You knew Kylo had his fair share of horrible things happen to him even before you came into the picture. The journey was hell but it brought you heaven. Kylo. Ben.
You'd do it all over again if it meant this was the ending. The two of you overcoming everything together, not running away, talking and listening, understanding, and being vulnerable with one another. Trusting one another. Loving one another.
You scooted over in your hospital bed, clenching your teeth from how the movement stirred up that dull ache in your chest to a burning pain. But you needed Kylo close to you. You needed to feel him. You'd already gone a few days with only being able to feel the touch of his hands. You needed his solid frame against you, steadying you, and reminding you that relying on each other's strength will always help you get through anything. You needed to feel his warmth and the way he somehow melted part of that solid frame to feel soft against you.
His concerned eyes were drilling into you as he watched the pain your movements caused you. He was unsure about joining you in bed with how fragile your body still was. You patted the empty space beside you with your hand, eyes pleading with him.
"I need you." You said softly and you watched him give into you completely. It was one of your favorite things to see. Not because he was giving you what you wanted but because he'd come so far. A man who had his walls built so high and so sturdy that you weren't sure anything would be able to penetrate them. And here he was before you, allowing you to see him vulnerable, trusting you to hold his heart and never break it. Giving love freely without fear of rejection. You were so, so proud of him.
Kylo slowly and gently crawled into your bed and laid down beside you. He was so tall that you had to shimmy just a bit so you could rest your head on his shoulder. You winced again but the fleeting feeling was worth it to be close to him like this. His body was stiff and rigid, trying hard not to move and cause you any pain but after some time he began to relax. His hand came to your hair and ran his fingers through it, massaging your head in that way you always loved. He always took such good care of you.
When you first started out together it was under the guise of an arrangement. No feelings, no attachments, just sex. But it was clear to you that there was more behind the brooding businessman. He was kind to you in a way you knew he wasn't to others. He cared for you against his better judgment because you became precious to him. He tried so hard to deny it. Until he couldn't. Until he was dying to see you every day. Until he needed you around for his own sanity. Until he fell in love. And then he tried to push the feeling away because of how scared it made him. He couldn't love you and then lose you. He wouldn't. But now you could assure him that you weren't going anywhere. There will always be threats to your relationship. Other women, other men, family, friends, and society. But the two of you are stronger now. You'll be able to face anything after what you've already been through. You came out on the other side still together and more in sync than ever before.
The main threat to you is gone. You can now live without the shadow of Snoke over you. His minions will be eliminated, they are already being taken out one by one. Kylo is free. He's free to live his life how he wants without the guilt of responsibility, without someone who haunts his thoughts, walking around the earth and getting away with his crimes. You both can freely love and live.
Soon your eyelids were fluttering, fighting to stay awake until they couldn't. You drifted off to sleep, easily getting your best sleep since you arrived at the hospital, and it was all because Kylo was there. He was with you. You were safe. You loved him and he was okay with that.
Because he loved you too.
And you could not wait to see what the future had in store for the two of you.
The End