A/N Update: hi, so I'm still sick. But I did edit a couple of chapters I've already written so this is one of them. Thanks for being patient for me to get better. I'm not contagious anymore, but my head is all fuzzy and I can't speak clearly. Hopefully I will be good as new soon.
- Taylors Pov -
«I really like it so far. I feel like we are mostly done. Now we just need to practice it so many times that it's impossible to do it wrong» I say as we sit on the piano bench, I'm the room we usually write music in. «I'm excited for it. And we will practice»
He kisses my cheek, and we play through the whole song again. But we don't have much time, we have plans tonight, a date. It still gives me butterflies in my tummy that we are together. we decided to go see a movie because it's a chill environment. The new avatar movie got released last week, so we decided to watch that. Yesterday we rewatched the first movie so its fresh on our minds before we watch the new one.
The old one is slightly scary; I will admit that. but it's also amazing. The whole concept is exciting to me, so I'm thrilled to see what they do this time.
«Ready to head out? The uber will be here shortly» Joe says as he stands up. «Yeah, let's do this» we exchange a brief kiss before we walk out hand in hand. The small kisses, touches and holding hands have become some of my favorite things during the day. He is so attentive and affectionate. But it's not at a suffocating level. It's just the right amount of affection that has my whole-body tingling.
«Do you want to go watch the book of Mormon soon? It's really good and you haven't seen it» I say as we slip into the uber. I tried to argue we could walk to the theatre, but that got shut down quickly. My body is really weak at the moment, and he just want to make sure I'm okay. It's hard to remember that in the moment when my thoughts take over and I argue with him, but deep down I know he is right.
Thank god he doesn't shy away from me just because I'm a little difficult at the moment. That definitely means he is a keeper. If the person you're with won't be there for you when you go through a storm they don't deserve to be there when the skies are clear, and the sun is shining. It's easy to be there when things are good, but it's the hard stuff that makes or break a relationship. It doesn't matter how long you've been together in my eyes, it's still the same.
«That sounds cool. Especially when you keep singing the songs and I try to understand the story context of them» he smirks at me. I have this tendency to mumble songs or straight up sing all the time. It's not something I really even register myself, but apparently, I do it a lot. I happen to really love musicals.
«Then that settles that. We are watching it» I decide. Taking him to a musical has been something I really wanted to do. It's one of my favorite things to do in New York, so taking my boyfriend sounds like a perfect combo.
We arrive at the theatre and head for the ticket stand. I pull out my wallet, but Joe takes it and put it back in my pocket «I can pay for my ticket» I grumble. «No, it's a date I asked you on. I'm paying» he argues.
«Fine, but since I asked you to the book of Mormon, that's technically me asking you on a date, so then I'm paying for the both of us. Anything else would be sexist, girls can pay for dates too» I declare, and he looks at me amused. «Fine we have a deal. The person asking for the date pays»
That seems like a fair arrangement. I'm not into the old expectation where the guy always has to pay when they go out with their girlfriend. We are living in 2022 and times have changed. I'm not into traditions in that way. But when I tried to argue with harry about it, he never gave in with me. Apparently it was not even a discussion to be had, and it always annoyed me. But at the time I didn't have the energy to put up a fight, and I was scared it would make him like me less.
But with Joe this is new, we can make our own rules from the start.
He gets the tickets and offers to get me some popcorn, but I politely decline. I'm not ready to eat stuff like that out in public. I'm on the meal plan my therapist gave me last weekend, but I'm not ready to venture out too much. I did bring my snack in my pocket though so I could eat it in the dark where no one would notice. Joe does get me a Coke Zero though, and one for himself too.
I had an argument with my therapist about diet drinks, she wanted to ban them from my life, but I argued that they couldn't take everything away from me. Not to mention that it's pretty normal these days for people to drink diet drinks, it's become popular. So I didn't see what the big deal was. She eventually let me do it, but I couldn't substitute those drinks for the drinks on my meal plan. I had to then have the zero drinks in addition to my plan. That was a hard pill to swallow because I'm scared to get too much fluid in my body, but I agreed to her compromise. She promised me that the additional fluid of a diet drinks a day wouldn't make me retain a lot of water weight. I'm not completely convinced but so far, my ankles haven't swollen, neither has my wrists. So I guess I'm good for now.
When we get to our seats I like where they are placed. They're far back so we get a good vantage point to look at the screen, but it's not too far back that it's hard to see anything. I wear contacts because I have shitty eyesight, so it's a perfect distance for me. One day I will get laser surgery on my eyes to not have to wear contacts, but my health has been too unstable to consider it yet. One day I will though.
The commercials are playing when we sit down and take off our jackets. It's cold outside in New York, but I love the fall. I wish fall would last forever, but soon it will be winter. Hopefully we will get some snow though, and I would love to take Joe skating at Rockefeller center. I've done that every year since I was a kid with my family, it's so much fun. We would come to New York to watch the New York Christmas spectacular with the rockets at radio city music hall, and before that we would go skating. Well... we did it every year when I wasn't admitted to the hospital over the Holidays. Sadly I did spend a Christmas locked in a ward against my will, but my family brought my presents, and we had our own little Christmas in a private room. At that point I wasn't allowed to leave the ward, so the hospital staff helped get me some normalcy with my family to celebrate the Holidays. I was the only patient at that ward that didn't get leave to see their families at home on Christmas eve and day.
«Is this the point where I tell you that I think the first movie is slightly scary. so this one probably will be too. And anything scary get scarier when you're in a movie theatre that's completely dark» I Say and bite my lip before looking at Joe. I wasn't nervous before we got here, but now I am.
«I've got you. You can hold my hand, or I will wrap my arm around you. And if it gets too much we can just leave. I won't make you sit through it if it scares you. And if you're scared when we leave here, we can cuddle all night in either your bed or mine. I wouldn't mind that regardless by the way. I sleep a lot better when you're there» I say and brush a stray piece of hair behind my ear.
If there was a contest for the best boyfriend, I think Joe would be high up there. He always says the perfect thing, which at times get annoying because he is just so damn good to me. I don't feel like I deserve someone like him, someone who genuinely seem to care about me. We are still newly together, but he treats me like we have been together for years, and I do the same to him. We are like two puzzle pieces that were just waiting to be connected.
**
Okay that movie was intense, and I am genuinely slightly scared. We watched it in 3D, so everything was more real. I've always been hesitant to watch things in 3D because it scares me sometimes, but it made the experience seem so much more real. The storyline was amazing, and I hope there will be another movie to continue the story.
Joe pays the uber as we arrive back at Julliard, and we walk hand in hand into the building. Security is tight here, but it makes me feel like I'm safe in this building. No one gets inside if you don't have the right identification and keycard. I guess they have to have tighter security when the school is in such a big city, so they don't let people that don't belong her into the building. The school is big on keeping their students safe, and I appreciate that.
«We are still sleeping in my room, right?» I say in the elevator. «Yes» he agrees. Selena doesn't care If Joe joins me in my dorm bed. She said as long as we don't get freaky under the sheets she doesn't care. That always makes me blush because we haven't taken that step yet. I'm honestly not ready to be naked around anyone right now, I hate my body so much. And Joe has thankfully been really patient with me, never pressuring me to take that intimate step. It's like we have all the time in the world, and I can't express how much that comforts me.
I've had sex before, but it always made me really anxious. at times I felt there was something wrong with me that inhibited me from truly enjoying it. It was like going through the motions and wanting harry to feel good, but I was too anxious to orgasm myself. I got a tiny one, he was a gentleman in terms of wanting me to get off too which I appreciate, but it wasn't that intense feeling other people talk about. I've never had that earth shattering orgasm, I might be defective in that way.
We get to his floor so he can grab some stuff, but when we walk into his dorm room, he shares with harry I stop dead in my track. Harry is fully nude in bed with a girl under him and he is clearly buried to the hilt inside of her. The girl quickly grabs his covers and pull it over them while I stand there in shock. I know I should look away, but damn I just can't.
When I meet Harrys eyes the man has the nerve to smirk at me. Fuck him. I drag my gaze away and turn to Joe. «Let's get your stuff and leave them too it» I mumble, and he agrees so we grab some clothes and pajamas for him. He already has a little bag that he usually brings up to my dorm with some toiletries for our sleepovers.
I couldn't give a crap that harry is fucking someone, but the smirk on his face showed that he wanted me to see. It's like he is trying to get a reaction out of me, but I really don't give a fuck. He can fuck the whole school for all I care. Who knows, maybe it will make him move on and stop trying to get back together with me.
I can hear ruffling coming from his side of the dorm room while Joe quickly packs his stuff. and when I turn towards the two naked people the girl I don't know is under the covers while harry is standing in front of us butt naked like the day he was born. what used to excite me and make my panties wet doesn't do anything for me now. He is good looking, I still think that, but he doesn't attract me in a non-platonic way anymore. I remember how I used to feel about him, but those feelings are long gone.
«Tuck your dick away harry. Seriously» Joe groans when he finishes packing his things for the night.
Harry doesn't say anything, but I feel his eyes on us as we walk out the door again and leave him to his fuck with that girl. he probably thought it would wake some old feelings in me, because he knew I would come back with Joe, but he didn't succeed in that. If anything it turned me off more. There is nothing less attractive than a guy that can't take a hint.
***
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