"Happy Birthday!" I cheered as I tugged Rai into a big hug and he engulfed me in it.
Wow, how much time had passed since I last saw him?
"Thank you." He was smiling as we pulled back.
Today was Rai's eighteenth birthday. An important age when you were young because it was the first step into adulthood. It was the first step because no one magically matured in their mind overnight.
Adulthood meant much more, and I knew that despite my twenty-six years of life experience, I had only seen a fraction of what I had yet to see if I still had a long life ahead of me.
But I saw in Rai's eyes and his demeanor how much he had matured over the past few months. He now towered a head above me, which was actually quite a lot, considering that East Asian men barely managed over six feet. He must have gotten good genes.
It played a significant factor at his school, which made me happy because I knew how much he enjoyed playing basketball. But he had made it clear from the beginning to my father and me that it was not the path he wanted to take professionally.
His dream was to study computer science and become an engineer.
Rai and I sat down at the table at the restaurant we had chosen for our lunch. A quiet spot for this time of day on the corner of the 78th. And now that I hadn't seen him in almost two months, I couldn't take my eyes off him, a big smile written on my lips.
"You're making me insecure." He laughed, lifting the menu card in front of his face.
I laughed back. "I just noticed you don't have that baby fat in your cheeks anymore."
"Thank God." He groaned, placing the menu card on the table and shuddering.
Instead of his chubby cheeks, he now had nicely sculpted cheekbones and a sharp jaw. You could still tell he was young and a fresh-faced boy, but he was no longer the kid who jumped up from his bed at night crying for his parents.
It was hard the first two years after their deaths to accustom him to the fact that he would never see them again. A four-year-old needed the closeness of their mother, the strength of their father, and even how hard my father and I tried to fill that void, we had known it would never work.
It was fair to say that I had raised Rai and maybe that was why I had such a strong desire to make sure he was doing well. I had been a child myself, but I had learned to put my twelve-year-old self aside and helped my preschooler cousin grow up.
I didn't have a mother either and could sympathize with him, but it was certainly easier to have never met a person than to lose the most important people in your life at such a young age, I guessed.
"What are your big plans for today that you were talking about?" I asked after we both ordered and the waitress ran off.
Rai leaned back in his seat. "I don't know. The guys prepared something big for me. Well, that's what they said."
My cousin and I had agreed to meet for lunch so I could wish him a happy birthday because he had plans for tonight. I just knew those plans could only get crazy, so I hoped he would have endless fun.
"Adult entertainment is all I've heard out of this." I grinned, taking a sip of my drink. "Maybe all those pictures will come true."
"Reva." he hissed, looking around the restaurant. But everyone else was busy with their own food, engaged in conversation about whatever.
I laughed under my breath as his embarrassment showed on his cheeks. Two years ago, I had accidentally - emphasis on the word - found a magazine under his bed. It was fair to say he'd been traumatized by it ever since and hid his stuff better.
But I guessed that any boy his age had stuff like that in his possession no matter how innocent he seemed. I had no idea about Rai's private life, but it was also just that. Private. The only thing I wondered was who the hell was even selling that kind of magazine these days when there was the internet.
But if he decided to tell me about it himself, that would be his own decision. It didn't mean I wouldn't tease him about it, though, because I enjoyed how coy he could get.
"I'm just messing with you," I reassured, making him laugh as he shook his head, his dimples showing.
"I know." his laugh dimmed and went to a gleeful grin. "But now for the most important question of the day." He leaned forward and I knew what was coming. "What did you get me."
I dodged it with a sarcastic shrug of my shoulders. "What makes you think I'm giving you anything?"
I knew he was only asking the question for the fun of it because Rai was not a boy who expected great things. He would be simply happy even if I just gave him a hug for his birthday even if he secretly knew I always had something prepared for him.
"Because you're the best cousin in the world." he cajoled.
"Uh-huh." I closed my eyes and leaned back. "Let it rain compliments."
We both burst out laughing, which made a few heads turn in our direction, causing us to decrease our volume. I had missed spending time with Rai because, despite our age difference, he was the person who knew me best.
And since I didn't really have that kind of interaction with any of the family members in my new home, it made me appreciate the few hours at this table even more. I wasn't looking forward to heading back.
I tried not to show the pang of loneliness and sadness in my smile as Rai sipped on his drink, our conversation about his gift forgotten. So I unzipped my purse and pulled out an envelope.
"This is for you," I said as I slid it across the table in his direction.
Joy flashed across his face, even though he didn't even know what was inside. "What is it?" he asked, already tearing at the paper.
"You'll see." I placed my forearms on the table, my fingers nervously toying with each other. I knew he would like it, but doubt still gnawed at me.
Rai unfolded the sheet, carefully reading over the contents. Then his big eyes looked over the edge at me and back at the paper. "You're treating me to a trip to five countries?"
I wasn't the best at picking out suitable gifts for people around me, so his reaction eased my nervousness a bit.
"Do you like it?" I asked. "You told me you wanted to travel some places after high school, so I thought I would give you the opening."
"Of course I like it." he smiled big, getting up from his chair and walking to me. "Get up, let me hug you."
I giggled happily and let him wrap his arms around my shoulders. It was a short hug, but a cherished and warm one. After Rai dropped back into his chair, he read over the details again.
"Indonesia too?" he asked excitedly, his brown eyes twinkling with eager anticipation under the light.
"Yeah, I found some places on the internet that looked too surreally beautiful to be true. I wanted you to see them with your own eyes." I explained and he nodded.
See, that was the most beautiful thing about giving someone a gift. It wasn't about the gift itself or its value. It was the reaction, the joy, and the gratitude that mattered.
"I get to pick when I go? Because there's no date written in." Rai remarked.
I nodded. "And it's tickets for two. Maybe you can take one of the boys with you," I suggested. Then my lips stretched into a smirk. "Or someone else."
Rai dropped his eyes to the plate in front of him and his shoulders shook with that quiet yet shy laugh. I knew I would get him with that one. He chewed on his inner cheek, a habit we both shared, to suppress his smile.
"You're never going to forget it, are you?" he shook his head. Then he turned more serious as if he'd remembered something with that little tease. He pressed his lips into a straight line. "I still feel bad about it."
"Stop." I dropped my hand on top of his. I hadn't meant to guilt him with it for something he wasn't to blame for. "That has nothing to do with it, I already told you."
"But maybe—"
I interrupted, my fingers squeezing his hand. This was not a conversation we were supposed to be having on such a beautiful day. "It would have happened eventually, and we both know it." then I leaned back, breaking the tension. "So? Are you going to ask her?"
He scratched at the back of his neck, the back of his head, and the corner of his right eye. I wanted Rai to be happy, though I didn't know if it was anything serious. Maybe he was cautiously approaching, maybe he had no interest in solidifying the bond at all.
"I don't know what we are yet. I mean I'm interested in her, but her family is pretty conservative..." he shrugged, then grimaced. "But you probably know better than I do."
Yeah.
He could tell I was getting quiet. "How's it going, by the way? Have you gotten used to married life?"
For Rai, and for everyone else, our marriage was a tangible reality. Maybe even my father had forgotten for what reason I had accepted it, but he didn't bother to check on me to give me a chance to inquire how far his appreciation went.
"It's fine," I reassured him with a tight smile that didn't quite reach my eyes. "I just miss you two. How's Dad?"
Rai thought for a moment, recalling the memories from my absence. "He's fine, I guess. Better. He misses you, too, but at least I didn't find him drunk and sleeping on the carpet like the first night you were gone."
I held back a deep and exasperated sigh. My father wouldn't let me talk to him, treated me like I was to blame for marrying myself off, and then acted like an alcoholic who couldn't do anything but drink himself out of his sobriety.
It was hard to understand Riku Matokai, and it seemed I had misread my own father over the years.
No matter how hard I tried not to make my reaction known to Rai, he still saw it in my eyes. And part of me felt that even though I hadn't told him, he still knew exactly what the reason for this marriage was in the first place.
"He'll be fine, he just likes to whine about it." I joked, bringing a bit of levity back into the conversation. Rai nodded, quietly agreeing with me as something over his shoulder caught my attention at that moment.
Or rather, someone.
Jungkook was standing with two other men dressed just as high-end and work-appropriate as he was, and they were talking at their table. It looked like they had already finished eating and were about to leave the restaurant.
Feeling eyes on him and as if attracted by a magnet, his dark gaze found mine instantly in the crowd but considering that the restaurant was not too spacious, that could have been just as much a coincidence.
Our eye contact lingered while the men next to him continued chatting. His focus shifted for a split second and he stared at the back of Rai's head before his gaze found me again.
Jaw tightened and tongue roaming his lower lip, he was pulled out of his fog by the middle-aged gentleman with a boxer's cut. He smiled at the man, patting his shoulder before all three of them walked out of the restaurant.
"Where are you looking?" Rai wondered when he realized I hadn't been listening to his thoughts on the trip. He turned around, trying to see what I was looking at.
He turned back to me and I shook my head. "Nothing. Jungkook was just here, but he left with work associates."
"Really, why didn't he say hi?" Rai's furrowed eyebrows showed me how absurd everything actually was.
"He's busy with meetings. I'm sure he didn't want to be rude to the new investors by leaving them alone." I lied.
I didn't know who these men were, as a wife, it just seemed to be the best answer. But it was odd, unnatural even. Because, if a husband wanted, he would always say hello to his wife. Yet our predicament was clear to me, always a nagging reminder.
"Anyway. What did Dad get you for your birthday?" I asked, avoiding the subject.
"A G-Class."
Ah, men.
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Dinner flew by like it did any other day without a word being exchanged except can you pass the salt or the maids need to change the recipe with a sour face.
I was by myself in the room, scrolling through social media. I followed some of Rai's friends because they had practically grown up together and giggled under my breath as I watched their sharing from his birthday party.
I knew that guys aged eighteen to twenty couldn't hire anything more creative than a stripper for a party. And I hadn't been wrong.
Rai's red cheeks filled my screen and despite looking so shy, he appeared like he was having a good time. Maybe I shouldn't be so casual about it, but it was whatever. I wasn't here to ruin what I knew wouldn't have a repeat anyway.
"What's so funny?" I heard Jungkook ask, as he stepped out of the bathroom after I heard the water running. Steam followed him out the door.
I put my phone down on the sofa. "Nothing," I said, standing up from my seat.
Reaching the dresser, I began to remove my makeup, feeling Jungkook's eyes burning at the back of my head. He was probably spinning something in his head, in his own wicked, twisted way.
"What is it?" I asked when his stare didn't let up even as he pretended to hang the suit he wore today back in the closet.
He reappeared, still the same grim expression written on his face until he faked a smile he didn't mean. "Had fun today?"
I knew it.
A scoff rose in my chest and I turned back to the dresser, now taking off my earrings. Rai looked manly and buff enough from behind to be mistaken for a man my age. And I guessed that's exactly what Jungkook had done when he'd spotted us at the restaurant today.
"I'm not cheating on you if that's what you're implying." I chuckled, which echoed around the room.
He had his left eyebrow raised as I got a small glimpse of him in the mirror. Then I focused on the earrings, which I carefully placed back into their jewelry box. Turning back, I found Jungkook now standing in front of me.
He was looking into my eyes, but I couldn't read any of his thoughts in them. "I know it was Raiden," he said so low, I could hear it vibrating in my chest.
"So what's the frowny face for then?" I questioned.
"There's something we need to talk about." he finally stated.
Jungkook and I didn't share much throughout the day, although there had been a truce of sorts since the day I slipped in the bathroom. Whatever happened there showed us that we could be civil, too.
I took a step back as he came closer so that he was almost touching me. I didn't even want to start on the aura that enveloped me. I reached for the edge of the dresser. "What are you doing?"
He smirked. "Just making something clear."
His eyes skipped over every detail of my face as he tried to prove his dominance. It was hard not to roll my eyes.
"And what would that be?" I wanted clarification so he would finally back off. I wasn't intimidated by him, but this proximity didn't feel right for some reason.
"I don't share." He growled right in my face, his heavy breath hitting me at the base of my throat.
Understanding what he meant by that, I accepted what was about to come. "I'm not yours," I hissed back.
He stepped closer, a smirk appearing on his lips as if all he could feel at that moment was amusement. My patience was wearing thin because he never tired of testing it all the time.
"As long as you bear my name, you are, wife," he whispered, his gaze falling to my lips.
He played with my hair, even tucking it behind my ear. The audacity of this man actually amazed me every day. But I wouldn't waver, because he had to realize that he wasn't the only one who was daredevil.
"So what do you suggest?" I dismissed my annoyance to see where Jungkook was steering with this conversation. Clearly this matter had been bothering him, it seemed.
To make himself understood, he leaned in, now placing both hands on each side of my body. The tension was thick as it had been in the bathroom, and I feared it would burn like a damn paper cut if neither of us snapped out of it.
I didn't know if he enjoyed it, but his fiery eyes were just an indication of how serious he was. Saying that he wouldn't share, that I was all his was probably one of the most ridiculous things I had heard.
It wasn't like I was planning to cheat on Jungkook. I had had my experience with an unfaithful relationship, and I wasn't eager to try it on someone to see if it hurt the same for everyone.
I hadn't been in love, but it had been a blow to my self-esteem, as it had already not been the strongest. To realize that it had not been my fault had taken me a long time. Anyone who wanted to cheat would do it regardless of the outcome.
Besides, I was my own person, I didn't belong to anyone. Even if I ever decided to belong to a man, it would be because I loved him and not because he had signed some insignificant papers.
"Don't touch another man and don't let anyone touch you. It's as simple as that." he shrugged.
I stood up straight and that almost caused his nose to bump against mine. Now he was taller than me, but we were the same. Equals.
Crossing my arms in front of my chest, I tilted my head back. There was a smoky lilt to the depths of my voice as I spoke. "I assume it applies to both sides?"
For just a brief moment, his eyes traveled down my body before settling back into mine. He seemed impressed, almost surprised. Not that I knew what Jungkook had done in his past, but I didn't think he had encountered many people who maintained a straight spine in front of him.
"What makes you think I'm excluding myself?" he wondered.
I shrugged. "Well, I'm not the one sleeping somewhere else several days a week."
That made him laugh. I didn't know what was so amusing, but his eyes flashed with his rumble that I couldn't help but listen. A dimple formed on his cheek before disappearing again.
"I fall asleep in my office sometimes," he explained, though I thought he would shrug it off. "But I didn't peg you for the jealous type." he mused.
"Please." I scoffed with a laugh. "I'm not as jealous as you were when you saw me with Rai."
"I wasn't jealous." he finalized.
I thought it was funny how much a person could read all the emotions on his face when he cracked his mask. It didn't happen often, but I recognized it whenever I detected the shift.
"So what? We're living a life of celibacy?" I asked, trying to clarify.
Sexual abstinence was not what I had considered a factor in this marriage, any more than a sexual relationship with Jungkook. If we couldn't see other people and we didn't benefit from being married, that meant nothing more than saying goodbye to our needs.
Producing an heir hadn't been a stipulation in our prenuptial agreement either, and that left us more wiggle room than either of us should have been able to indulge in. Because a wiggle room always equaled mistakes.
Jungkook seemed to think about my words, clearly not having thought about it before. It was easy to say that infidelity had no place in our marriage and I stood by that, but I doubted a man had enough restraint. No offense.
And that in turn made my thoughts waver on what it would be like if we lived a real married life. Could we block out our dislike for each other and lose ourselves in shared breaths?
What would it be like to feel his body on mine? I wasn't eager to find out, but I wondered anyway. Like an individual wondered how Bluetooth worked or if the chick or chicken had come first.
After a few minutes Jungkook spent lost in his thoughts, he looked into my eyes again. "One year." he began, "Until our first anniversary. And after that, we'll see."
It was hard for a person to ignore their sexual needs, and I doubted Jungkook would even last a year. We were talking 365 days. 8766 hours. Well, when I thought about it, it was hard for anyone who was committed to this kind of activity.
"Deal," I said anyway. I liked the challenge and I was curious to find out if any of us would fail.
We were playing with fire, falling into temptation, and looking for trouble.
But nothing stopped him from taking my outstretched hand in his and shaking it. A grin tugged at his lip. "Deal." he rasped, letting his tongue sweep his inner cheek.
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A/N: okay so the bathroom scene was a turning point and now you guys can expect more interactions between Jk and Reva. Can't promise that they are going to be good ones though🤪🤪