Leah POV
The time I spent apart from Sophie was the lowest I've ever felt in my life. No matter how much I tried to enjoy my experiences, my mind would take me back to how much better they would be if she were there. Sophie told me to sell the ring or 'whatever' when I asked if she wanted it back; I was never going to do that. I still remember the day she came to get her stuff. She had told me that she would pick it up at some point, but I hoped she would change her mind. How wrong was I?
Flashback:
My friends had been great, especially the team. They knew that I needed distraction, and they were more than happy to oblige. As we sat in the cafe, my face was smiling, but my heart was still heavy in my chest. I was still heartbroken. Midway through a conversation about the upcoming matches, my phone began to ring, I saw it was my mum, I know it sounds awful, but I wasn't ready for another you need to talk about how you're feeling, I'm worried conversation, so I ignored it. The noise didn't stop; another two calls came through before a text notification made my eyes pop out of my head.
Mum
Sophie is at the house.
Immediately after calling mum, I began to run to my car with my phone to my ear.
"Mum, how do you know? Did you see her? Does she want to see me? I'm on my way; stop her, please!" I blurted out before she had a chance to speak.
"I'm not there, Leah. I don't know why she is; maybe she wants to talk. I drove by and saw her car there; please be careful driving." Mum said softly.
"Go back—stop her! Please Mum!"
"I've got this meeting, Leah. I'm sorry, this isn't something I should be involved in."
Mum was right; it wasn't her place to ask Sophie to stay. I knew that it had to be me. I rushed through the traffic, refusing to let any other cars out as I attempted to reach the house before Sophie had left. I pulled into the driveway, basically on two wheels, and sighed in relief as I saw her car still sitting there. Phew. Every footstep I made towards the front door felt like it was taking too long, my mind racing with the idea that Sophie might want to talk. And that's when I saw it. Boxes. Lots of them. My heart fell to my feet as I tried to stop myself from breaking down on the spot. I could hear the clanging of hangers beating off one another upstairs, knowing she was clearing out her wardrobe. The noise of me closing the front door obviously startled her; almost silent footsteps made their way across the floor above me before she appeared at the top of the stairs.
"Hi." She spoke softly, showing obvious signs that she had been crying.
"Hi."
"I'm sorry, I thought you'd be out. I'm just getting my things."
"I was out. Mum saw your car here, and she thought, - I thought - well - I thought - you know. Need any help?"
"I'm good, thank you. I won't be long."
All I could do was nod, making my way to the kitchen to silently cry. I stood with my hands propping me up on the worktop beside the sink, desperately trying to calm my breathing, not wanting Sophie to see me this way. I could feel the coldness of my engagement ring hanging from my neck—the ring I had placed on a chain and worn around my neck since Sophie and I ended. Please don't ask for it back.
A clearing of her throat was how Sophie alerted me that she was in the room. I took one last deep breath, turning to face her but unable to speak.
"That's me, sorted." She gave a half-smile.
"Yeah, okay. Be careful driving back to Ireland."
"I'm -"
"It's fine, really." I couldn't hear her say she was sorry. Not now.
"Yeah, sorry. Ignore me. Anyway, look after yourself, Leah." Leah. Not Le.
"You too, Soph."
Sophie walked quietly out of the room. I placed my hand over my mouth and sat down on the floor, exactly where I had been standing. I let the emotions take over my body, with my shoulders jerking up and down and my sobs echoing around the kitchen. I didn't know it was possible to feel this.
The house felt empty, really empty. I couldn't stay downstairs; all I wanted to do was go to sleep and never wake up again. Entering the room that Sophie and I had shared for so long and seeing all of her things gone, it felt like no feeling I had ever felt before. I crawled into bed, allowing myself to find her side and convincing myself that I could close my eyes and pretend she was still there. I woke a few hours later, my eyes stinging as they attempted to recover from the impact of hours of tears. After prying them open, I sat up to turn off the lights. What? I looked down to see what my foot had hit, chuckling slightly to myself as I realised that Sophie had left her shoes here. All that time packing, Soph, and you still managed to forget something I thought to myself before another round of tears hit me. I thought of texting her and offering to post them, but I couldn't. They were the last belongings of hers to be in this house, and I needed them to stay exactly where they were. I needed them to pretend that she would still rush about tomorrow morning looking for the shoes she had gotten out of bed and stepped over.
A few days later, I got a text from Sophie. My heart was beating out of my chest as I waited for my Face ID to unlock my phone, but I was sighing as I read the message.
Sophie
Hey Leah, I was wondering if you could post the engagement ring back? I'm not looking to sell it or anything, I just want to keep the memory.
I believed her; Sophie was sentimental like that, and I knew she wouldn't have wanted something that had meant so much to her to be thrown into a box somewhere and forgotten about. I suppose she was thinking that I had kept hers, so why wouldn't she keep mine? Neither of us knew the correct way to break up when we had been engaged. I did something I never thought I would do to Sophie: I lied to her. Selfishly, I lied to her. It wasn't out of spite; it was simply because in this moment I knew that wearing the ring around my neck was the only thing that made me feel able to leave my house; holding it in my hand before I fell asleep at night was the only way I could manage it; and knowing that Sophie was still right beside my heart was the only thing that made me feel less broken.
Leah
I would, but I gave it to a charity shop. Sorry.
Sophie
Okay. No worries.
Leah
I can send you the money for it?
Sophie
It wasn't about the money. Thanks though.
Leah
I'm sorry, Soph.
She didn't reply, obviously.
— — — —
Now that we were back together, I knew that I would have to tell Sophie the truth; it was the last part of the past that needed to be discussed. I just had no idea how to do it. I didn't know how to tell her that I had lied directly to her at a time when I was desperately trying to gain her trust back. I decided to do it anyway; risking my forever with Sophie was worth it to know that she wasn't being made a fool of in any way.
A few days after the party, I finished training early, deciding to text Sophie and invite her over, knowing that this may be the last time.
Leah
You wanna come over tonight?
Sophie
I'm in court in Birmingham and might not be there until after 7. That okay?
Leah
Of course. It gives me time to have a nap anyway🥱
Sophie
Haha okay. See you then.
I didn't manage to nap; instead, I tossed and turned, thinking of how to go about the conversation with her. Do I say it outright? Do I beg her to forgive me? Do I text her it before she gets here? Before I knew it, Sophie was knocking on the door. I chuckled as I thought of the fact that this used to be our house, and yet she now knocks every time. Guiding her inside, I knew she could tell something was going on with me, so I wasn't surprised when that was her first question, even before a hug.
"What's wrong? You're worrying me."
"I need to tell you something."
"Go on?"
I knew from Sophie's face that she was worried about the revelation I was about to make. Her smile had faded, and her eyes no longer met mine and instead were gazing around the room for an object to focus on.
"I lied to you. When we ended. I need you -"
"Stop. Just tell me."
"I didn't give away the ring." I admitted, quietly.
Sophie thought for a minute, her brows furrowing as she tried to figure out what I was talking about.
"The ring, the one you got me. The engagement ring." I blurted out.
"Oh, yeah. I know." She chuckled gently.
"How?"
"Well, I didn't actually think you had given it away in the first place. Obviously. I thought you just didn't want to give it back because you were angry with me. Then, when I came here that night, I found it under the pillows. I realised you had kept yours for the same reason I took mine back."
"I wore it around my neck every single day. I took it off at night to hold it." I sighed.
"Me too, Le. Is that what you lied to me about?" She chuckled again, making eye contact.
"Yeah. I haven't and won't lie to you about anything else. I promise. Like I swear."
"Better not. You're such a worry worm—but a cute one. Can I have a hug now?"
Well, that went so much better than I expected.
The following morning, I woke to the sound of the shower running next door, smiling to myself as I remembered that Sophie had stayed here the night before. I buried myself back into the blanket, waiting patiently for her return. Hearing the bedroom door open, I propped my head up to smile at her, and a half smile was returned.
"What's up, Soph?" I questioned.
"Nothing, just tired." She sighed.
"C'mere. Tell me what's up."
"I get like this before work. I'm just grumpy." She chuckled gently.
"Can I do anything? To make it better?"
"I feel better when I wake up beside you, I promise."
In that moment, of course I was upset for Sophie, but mostly I was thankful. I was thankful that I had kept Sophie's own business for her; I was thankful that I had made that purchase to ensure that when she was ready, she could take it over again and carry on her journey to the success I knew she could be.
Flashback
It was just another day of returning home and wanting to slink into bed and cry until I fell asleep. That day became so much more when my mum walked through the door. The look on her face told me that this wasn't a friendly visit or one that she had decided to make to see how I was. She tried to beat around the bush for a while before she came out with the words that ripped my heart out.
"A girl called Yvonne Simmons contacted me today as Sophie's legal representative."
"What's that for?"
"She's selling her part of the business."
Well, that was a knife to the heart.
"Selling? But she loved that firm. She can't sell. Not because of me, no, Mum. She can't. You have to speak to her." I began to cry.
Mum told me that Yvonne had advised all contact to go through her. Sophie obviously didn't want to talk. She explained that Sophie had agreed to give Mum some time to find another partner, but that Yvonne would have a sale lined up in case Mum wasn't able to find one. I think mum already knew my plan before she left that night; her eyes were telling me that she didn't need to wonder who her next partner would be; she knew that I wasn't ready to let go of the life that Sophie and I had built.
It took a few days for me to decide whether it was right or not, my main issue being whether or not it was fair on Sophie to leave some kind of attachment there without her knowing. I thought of the idea that Sophie may move on and that she may one day want to buy the firm and realise she had to buy it from me. In the end, I decided that this was one of those times when the most used word in our relationship should apply: effort.
I expected Mum to talk me out of the decision, hovering my finger over the call button on my screen for at least an hour before I pressed it.
"Hello you, is everything okay?" It sounds like she's in a good mood.
"Yeah. How do I buy the firm?"
I decided being straight was the best idea, bracing myself for the as your mum it's my job to talk you out of stupid decisions talk. It didn't come, though.
"Well, I suppose we just let them know we have a buyer. Won't Sophie be mad?"
"No. I won't tell her. Then, when she's ready, she can have it back." I said firmly.
"Paula will tell her?"
"I'll sort it with Paula; I need to do this for her, mum. I won't stand back and watch her lose everything she worked so hard for."
"That's my girl." Wow.
A quick phone call with Paula, and that was it; everything was in place to protect Sophie's empire. Paula told me that Sophie was doing okay, but she hadn't heard much from her. I expected that Sophie wouldn't want to be reminded of London; I worried she may never come back. I hoped, though, every single day. Paula was thankful that Sophie wasn't losing the firm; to a degree, I could tell by her tone that she resented me for being the reason Sophie left. I understood it, and I resented me too.
— — — —
Now I just had to wait for the moment that Sophie was ready to take the business back; I couldn't force it. This had to be on her terms, and I promised I would wait forever. I will wait forever.
"I have Liv this weekend." Sophie's voice broke me from my reminiscing.
"In London?"
"Yeah."
"Okay." I wasn't sure if it was an invitation or simply her way of telling me she wasn't free.
"Why did your face drop like that? Did we have plans? We didn't have plans, did we?" She rambled.
"No, babe. No plans. I just miss her." I smiled, pulling her into me for a last hug before she left for work.
"You'll see her in, like, two days."
"I will?"
"Yeah - wait - if you want - I - well, I just assumed."
"I wasn't sure if that was an invite or an I'll see you after the weekend." I chuckled.
"God no, Liv would kill me if I didn't invite you."
Thank God.