A Storm Is Brewing

Time to Leave

Leah POV

Travelling with a baby was a completely different ballgame: the fear of leaving something behind, the stress of trying to get through security, and the crying after takeoff. As usual, I let Sophie take the lead in trying to calm Teddy, unable to do anything other than sit there in awe of her ability to make us both feel better without seeming like it was stressful in the slightest for her. She held him on her knee, making sure her left hand was kept free to reassuringly brush her thumb across my fingers as I looked around at the other passengers staring at us.

"You'd think none of them had ever been a fucking baby." I whispered.
"It's fine; ignore them."
"Can I do anything?"
"No, it's okay."

The journey on the other side was more successful; he slept from the minute we got into the hire car until we arrived at Jacqueline's. Rhys was on hand as we pulled up, helping to carry our stuff in as Jacqueline detached Teddy's car seat from the car and carried him instead. Once again, I stood back and watched as they moved around like this was a well-rehearsed routine. The only person not needed as part of it.

"He's getting so big." Jacqueline cooed.
"Yeah." I nodded.
"Is he sleeping well, Sophie?"

Ouch.

"Yeah, he's sleeping well, isn't he, Le?"
"And what about food? He looks like he's put on a lot of weight. Are you breastfeeding or what, Sophie?" Rhys asked.

I felt Sophie's hand snake around my back, lifting up my jumper to draw small circles on my back. I knew she was recognising the situation and how it would make me feel that this was yet another instance of me being irrelevant.

"No, with how premature he was, they had to bottle feed him."
"Do you two want something to eat? Leah, are you hungry?"

Now they speak to me.

"No, I'm good, thanks." I smiled politely.
"Will we go leave our stuff in our room, Le?"

The second we got through the doors to the room we were staying in, Sophie had her arms wrapped around my waist and her head resting on my chest.

"I love you."
"I love you." I mumbled into her hair.
"You are so important to the life we have, Le. So important."
"I know, Soph."

The truth is, I wasn't so sure anymore. Sophie was good at this; she was a natural, and I had no doubt that if I wasn't around tomorrow, she would have no trouble meeting every single one of Teddy's needs. I also knew that if Sophie wasn't around tomorrow, I wouldn't be able to last longer than half a day on my own with him; she was the only one who actually knew how to be a parent, and I was getting tired of denying that fact.

I couldn't tell her that, though. It would shatter her heart to think that walking out had crossed my mind more times than I wanted to admit to myself. Every time, though, I'd selfishly choose to stay because the thought of being in agony with Sophie and Teddy was so much better than the thought of being without them.

Flashback:

Beth
How are you? How's Sophie? Is she having any luck with Teddy's sleeping?

Logically, I didn't need to read into the wording of that message. Sophie had spent an excessive length of time when Beth had visited telling her about the issues she was having getting Teddy to sleep and laughing about the fact that he seemed to sleep right away when I was the one to put him to bed. That's all Beth meant. This wasn't a time when logic was on my side, so instead I overanalysed it until I decided that this was just another person who thought it was Sophie, her baby, and me.