A Storm Is Brewing

Leah

Leah POV

I didn't sleep much that night. I guess this is the side of love that people don't talk about: the hard times. I had so many questions, not just for Sophie but for myself too. This wasn't something that would go away, but I had promised Sophie that I would help sort it out. The truth was, I didn't know if that was even possible. I had to try, though.

Sophie slept peacefully beside me until just before 7 a.m.; until then, I had gently stroked her hair for hours on end, admiring her peaceful face as I watched her chest rise and fall in perfect movements.

No, no, no. They haven't done anything wrong; it was me. It was all me. Please.

Sophie began to kick at the covers, her peaceful face interrupted by the tears that fell as her mind played out a horrible nightmare. I pulled her body towards me; her head snuggled into my chest. I rubbed circles on her back with one hand, stroking her hair with the other.

"Hey, hey, c'mon, you. It's just a nightmare. I'm here; you're safe. We're all safe. Shush, shush." I repeated, feeling her stir awake in my arms.
"Sorry." She sniffled quietly.
"What for, silly?"
"Being a baby."
"You aren't a baby. Well, you're my baby, but not an actual baby." I gently reminded her.

Rhys appeared at the door, knocking gently, before I told him to come in. He placed himself at the side of the bed, gently stroking Sophie's arm as he spoke.

"Soph, I'm going to go get Olivia once I've gone to get some groceries. I can take her out for the day if you would rather not see her when you're feeling like this?"
"Do you mind if she comes here?" Sophie looked up at me.
"She's my favourite Kelly; of course I don't." I smiled, attempting to make her laugh.
"Watch it. I'm not too sad to hit you." She giggled into my chest. God, I was so glad to hear her laugh.

Rhys kissed her head, placing his hand on my shoulder and mouthing thank you to me. I would be lying if I said that before last night I didn't hold a grudge against him. I thought he was selfish and entitled when he made me feel like I had no choice but to finish with Sophie back then. I understood it now; I understood why he had. At certain points last night, I too wished that I had left her. That I had never looked back, but that was during momentary lapses of judgement. Holding Sophie and protecting her felt right.

"Your training, Leah." Sophie shot up, realising what my being here meant.
"My girlfriend, Sophie."
"Le, I love you. You can't miss training for me, though."
"I can. I will. I want to. I want to be here with you. Plus, Liv is coming, and if I leave before she gets here, she will kill me."
"Poor choice of words from you there, Le." Sophie laughed as she stretched, letting her body fall back into my grip.

I knew we needed to talk, and so did Sophie. Neither of us knew how to start the conversation; we were both afraid of what the conversation would mean. For me, I was struggling to think of a way to continue my relationship while keeping my reputation afloat. For Sophie, I knew she was struggling to think of a way that she could return to London and be away from her family again. Well, I don't know that, but one can make educated guesses.

"What do I do now? How do I keep you?" Sophie sighed.
"You have me, Soph. You always will. Can I ask you some questions?"
"Anything."
"Is there anything else I should know?"
"Nothing; I have no other secrets."
"If this were to happen now, in this situation, would you tell me?"
"In a heartbeat, Le."
"Why didn't you tell me about it? We talked a lot about your big cases. You didn't even mention it."
"Two reasons. Firstly, I think I tried to erase it from my memory. Secondly, the minute I told you that involved you, I didn't want to involve anyone else in it."
"What if something happens again, something you feel you can't involve me in. What if you feel you have to hide something from me to protect me in the future, Soph?"
"Things are different now, Le."
"How? What's changed since then?"
"I have someone else to think about now. My life isn't just my life anymore. It's our life. Wait, is it still our life?"
"I want it to be." I smiled.

Sophie cuddled back into me, our bodies intertwining into some form of safety within each other. She delicately stroked my collarbone with her fingers, letting out the breath she had been holding in since our conversation began. Just as we both fell asleep, my phone rang. I knew who it was, I knew what it was about, and I knew that Sophie couldn't hear this conversation. I slipped out of bed, kissing her head gently as I moved outside and made my way to the bottom step of the stairs to take the call.

"Hi Mum."
"Where are you?"
"I'm in Ireland. Sophie needed -"
"Are these articles true? Did she defend that man, Leah?"
"Yes, but there's more to it."
"I don't care, Leah. This is your career. Everyone is talking about you. Everyone! How can you even look at her?"
"Mum, you have no idea. If you knew, you would understand."
"Tell me then!" Mum's frustration was clear in her voice; we never argued.
"I can't, Mum. I just -"
"Tell her, Le." Sophie spoke from the top of the stairs. Fuck. She wasn't supposed to hear this conversation.
"Mum, I'll call you back, okay?"
"No, Leah. That's your Mum. Tell her." Sophie said, more firm now.

Mum sat silent, realising now that whatever this was about was a lot more serious than she had originally thought. Sophie's recognition of my need to be honest with my mum seemed to silence her, possibly realising that Sophie wasn't to blame here.

"Not over the phone, Mum, okay? I will come and see you when we are back. I promise."
"Leah?" My mum's voice softened.
"Yeah?"
"Is Soph okay?"
"She will be, Mum." I sighed.

As I ended the call with Mum, Sophie had made it to the bottom of the stairs. She sat on the step behind the one I was on, placing her arms around my neck and her legs either side of my shoulders. We didn't exchange any words; we didn't need to. Sophie was right; the idea that this could be kept a secret from someone that Sophie so desperately wanted approval from was silly. How does that work, though? How do I tell my mum, without telling my dad? My brother? My teammates? All of those people were now judging Sophie. Judging the person I was sure now that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

Just before I could break the silence, a smiling face burst through the door. My knee immediately became a seat for Olivia's tiny body.

"Leaaaahhhh!" She grinned.
"Olivia, I missed you!"
"I missed you too, and you, auntie Sophie." Olivia said, moving her eyes to Sophie.
"I missed you more, my little favourite." Sophie's words echoed in my ear, her head resting on my shoulder.
"Are you two staying here tonight?" Olivia asked.
"No, mate, we have to go back. I promise we'll come back soon, though. Okay?" Sophie's answer confused me; I didn't think she would be ready to go back to London yet.
"That's okay; Dad said you might be going home. Please come back."
"Always." I smiled at her.

Olivia ran to find Rhys, and Sophie pulled me more tightly towards her, placing a kiss on my cheek.

"Come to bed." She whispered.
"Sophie! Your brother is here! And your niece." I blushed slightly, trying to hide that I wanted nothing more as her breath grazed my neck.
"Sorry. Come to bed quietly." She whispered, making me roll my eyes as she gripped her hands around my neck as a queue for me to carry her upstairs.

— — — —

"I needed that." Sophie said between breaths.
"Nice to know what's been making you sad all morning." I joked.
"I know. Took you long enough to realise." She laughed back.
"Tell me the truth, though; why did you?"
"It makes me feel close to you, like our souls intertwine. Sounds silly; I guess it just makes me feel like there's nothing that can come between us." She smiled.
"Me too. Soph, I need you to know that this isn't going to be easy. You know that?"
"I know." She sighed.
"I wasn't finished, speedy. I was going to say that I want you to know that this isn't going to be easy, but I am with you completely. My heart is yours, no matter what this means for us both. I want us to find a way through together." I brushed my lips against hers.
"I was so scared of losing you, Le. I wasn't afraid of what they might do to me; I was afraid of what it might do to us."
"Made us stronger, that's what it did. Will you come with me to see my Mum?"
"I'll go anywhere with you, Le. Anywhere."

How the fuck do I tell her that after such a short time, I think I want to marry her?