We are not free to choose our actions.
We are not free to choose our paths, everything happens for a reason, cliché I know
We think we can do whatever we want in our lives but all the things we do are already determined.
Time is an illusion. Time does not exist. Time is not linear, it is simultaneous. Everything is happening right now.
Past, present and future exist simultaenously like frames of a video, time travel has so many paradoxes and unexplainable things.
Just like how in every reality, every universe and in every timeline, I couldn't do anything to save you.
If I let you go, will things still happen as it is? If I let her save you, what would happen exactly?
What is the purpose of this? Why am I the only person in the world who gets to discover this power. Where did this even come from?
I have no answer.
How many times have I watched you die without being able to do anything about it?
How many personalities have I showed in the past years that I tried to save you? It was hard adapting but it was harder to watch you go, and I couldn't even do that. Let you.
And then this timeline happened, the only different timeline in billions of realities I have seen.
I want to talk. I want to let you know but I don't want to tell you
Everytime she says your name, I grimace. She always smiles a little as she says it. It makes me sick to my stomach.
I watched. I simply watched. I can't help but feel a deep sadness whenever I picture her without you, I wondered if she would've mourned? or celebrated? Will her heart dissipate if you're gone?
And then my biggest fear happened. You left her. You left me again.
You did not know how to love me like you did with her, and it's okay. I held it together so well I even believed myself.
Sometimes suffering is just suffering. It doesn't make you stronger, it doesn't build character. It only hurts.
I watched her suffer for days before I decided to give her a chance to see you again. I didn't expect these things to happen either.
I admire her bravery because I wouldn't even have the guts to do that. How exactly would she save you? She told me she'll go back for only one reason
"I just want to see her again,"
I saw myself in her. So being the fool that I am, I gave in.
The only thing I didn't get to realize is the storm coming back to give ten times worth of pain I've experienced.
"Was it my fault?" She asked
"It was mine." I answered