TW : Eating-Disorder
Hazel's POV :
I fell asleep with mom Delia cuddling me, while mom Mina was singing sweet night songs to soothe me.
The next morning, I woke up with a bad pain in my throat and my stomach. I tried to move and cuddle closer to my mom, but I just ended up waking her up.
"Hey sweetie, how are you feeling ?" She gently asked me. She looked rested, and she wasn't crying anymore. I felt bad deep down for putting my moms in such stressful situations, but I couldn't help myself.
"I-" I coughed a little, trying to have my voice back. "I feel better. My throat is a bit sore tho."
"Do you want me to call a nurse ?" She sat up, looking worried.
"No no, I'm okay mom, really-" but before I was able to finish my sentence, a doctor entered.
"Hello miss Hazel, I'm doctor Staple. I'm a psychiatrist." She introduced herself. I sighed at the idea of talking to a psychiatrist. I wasn't crazy, just not confident in my body.
"Is it okay if I sit with you a little ?" She gently asked. I nodded and I have to admit, she seemed nice. She didn't looked like the shrink stereotype I had in mind. For me, the shrinks were all old, fat, and bald. She was everything but these things. She was thin, she had brown hair and a welcoming smile. She sat by the window on the armchair were mom Mina slept the previous night. Mom Mina was currently at the cafeteria, and mom Delia suggested to join her in order to let me and Dr Staple talk privately. The psychiatrist agreed and my mom kissed the top of my head before standing up and leaving the room.
"So, Hazel, can you tell me why you're here ?" Dr Staple asked me, nicely, but I felt irritated of her question. She obviously knew if she was in front of me right now. And that's what I told her.
"You probably know already."
"I do actually. But I wanted to hear your version of things. It's your story to tell right ?"
"Right." I rolled my eyes.
"So ?"
"So I sank my fingers down my throat to be sick." I responded blankly.
"Why that ?" She questioned, titling her head to the side.
I sighed again. This conversation was useless. "Because I enjoy it." I answered ironically.
"Hazel." She warned.
"What ? Don't tell me you never saw a girl making herself throwing up on purpose, for an obvious reason ?!" I started to get really, really annoyed. "You're a shrink for god sake ! You clearly know why I did that ! You know why I rather end up in the hospital than get bigger !" I now screamed.
"Okay. Let's calm down." She softly said. "We don't want you to get more worked up." She made her way to me and helped me lay again on my bed. I let her do so, I didn't want to put up a fight, I was still too weak. She now sat on the edge of my bed.
"Hazel, I'm here to help you get better. I'm here because you deserve to get better. But if you don't put even a tiny effort in the process, it'll worth nothing. I want to help you, but if you don't want me, let's not waste any more minute." She explained strictly.
I sighed, still not wanting to open up. After few seconds of silence, waiting for my answer, she stood up and walked to the door.
"You can still change your mind later Hazel." She took the doorknob in her hand and just when she was ready to open the door, I spoke.
"No, don't leave. Please." I murmured.