In the parallel universe...
-Seokmi pov-
Silence...
The dorm is met with silence as I lay on my bed staring blankly at the ceiling. The room feels colder somehow as Namree and Taeyon isn't here and working back at the studio. I fist my hands at the memory as I try to numb my thoughts.
Everything feels so wrong...
I feel like a heavy weight is dragging me down a bottomless pit off darkness with my thoughts feeling muffled. The last few days feel like a nightmare which just doesn't want to end no matter how many times I try to wake up. I thought it was a sick...one extremely sick joke when Namree confessed to not knowing Jungmei and I could see the potential for a fight to break out but as the eldest I had to stop it.
Our leader is down so I need to step up right?
It seems easier then it is in reality. No matter how much we tried to get through Namree she thought we were crazy and thought we were pranking her but when I scrolled through our photo's and showed them to her she said there wasn't anyone there when I pointed at Jungmei. The fact that Jungmei's body was still missing aswell felt like a gun to my head about to go off.
I felt anger course through me at her plain denial of seeing her when she was clearly holding onto her arm in the picture. She still completely denied it and when she got irritated by us she left us standing baffled I'm the room stunned in silence. Yoonmi was the first to explode wanting to march to her room but we all held her down. Jamie went quieter then she was and Taeyon was stunned into confusion but the moment she started questioning things I lost it and told them all they needed to stop before I did something I would regret later.
Thankfully Hanna understood where I was standing as I lost the cool persona I tried to have for everyone in the dorm. I didn't even get the time to lash out from the grief because I had to be the strong one but this was all that I had gotten.
So in the blinding raging emotions I distanced myself from them for a while just to stop them from messing with my head. My main focus was trying to cope with the person I saw as my little sister's death and they all made it so difficult. We still can't even mourn with her body but it doesn't seem like that problem is going to be solved soon.
A day after I stayed away from them I thought maybe Namree would be better but I was shocked when I returned to them all just to be met with something that shattered me. Namree still denied the existence of Jungmei but this time she wasn't alone...
Taeyon was the same.
To say Jamie was in a state would be a downplay from how she lunged at the girl. It finally dawned on me on how we were all breaking and I had no idea what was happening to us. Yes I expected pain if something happened to one of us but just straight out denying our sweet precious Jungmei's existence is taking it way too far for any sain person to cope with it.
So for the days after that I decided to mute my phone and since the day I decided to fall on my bed I never got up till now. I just feel too numb to stand or do anything. I don't want to speak to Namree or Taeyon as they show fake concern for us pretending that they are concerned for our mental health and our friendship that has taken a major strain.
They have to be faking their concern...there is no way I'm taking it when they still won't say Jungmei is real...
I'm not crazy....I know I'm not...
I can't be....
"Unnie..." I blink blankly at the ceiling as I hear a voice enter the room. I didn't even hear the door open but I don't really care. I immediately recognize the voice as Yoonmi but there was something strange about how her voice sounded. It sounded scared and broken.
"U-Unnie..." Her voice broke as she walked further into the room before I felt a dip in my bed shocking me as Yoonmi collapsed on my bed and wrapped herself around me stuffing her face in my shoulder before her body shook.
Her state immediately woke me up as I raised my head in panic for my dongsaeng. She violently shook as loud sobs escaped her and I rubbed her back. It's rare for Yoonmi to cry and if she does she doesn't like to seek comfort by others first.
"T-They are all C-CRAZY! U-Unnie I can't do this anymore! I c-can't a-anymore" She screamed out in a cry and I could feel my own eyes prickle with a wave of tears at her state.
"Yoonmi-ah hey its okay"
"NO! U-UNNIE NO! WHAT ABOUT H-HER MEMORY?! HOW C-CAN YOU FORGET THE PERSON Y-YOU SPENDED ALMOST A DECADE WITH DIED?! IT'S CRUEL! FIRST H-HER BODY WENT MISSING AND NOW NAMREE AND TAEYON ARE CRAZY!" She sobbed louded making her body shake like a leaf and I tried my best to stay in control as I pulled us both up to sit in the bed. She didn't push me away when I tightly wrapped my arms around her and began to sway with her.
"You...you are right...it's...it's all so wrong" I whisper softly as she wailed cries in my arms. It felt like my heart was being ripped in pieces. Yoonmi was even more broken than me but I feel like something happened today to trigger her breakdown. I continue to whisper in her ear trying to calm her breathing down which started working as her body fell limp in my arms. A few seconds pass as I pat her head until she spoke up again.
"I'm scared that they aren't lying and we aren't going to find her..." I stiffen at her words that sound like a soft whisper. Her voice sounds like it's on the end of caring about anything anymore. It...scares me.
"What did you say?" I ask in disbelief but she shakes her head and I hear a sniff before she talks again.
"I said I'm scared they aren't lying...unnie they just, they loved her so much...and their eyes...they really look like they believe what they are saying. It's like an illness that Namree got and Taeyon got infected. I'm...scared it won't stop at them. I'm also scared about Jungmei's body...we still have no idea what happened but I'm so scared" My breath hitched at her words as I process it. It was true and I understand her concerns but it's not possible right? There is no way that we could all start forgetting her like some disease infecting our brains. I also don't want to think about Jungmei's body because there can't be any other option then stolen right? But why?
It makes no sense...
"Don't worry Yoons I'm sure we will sort this out, maybe we can convince them to go to therapy? They were both strongly affected by...her passing. I mean Namree was in denial of her death and Taeyon felt guilty for letting her go out alone. Maybe that is what's happening? Also we just need to have hope for the police..." I try to reason but she shakes her head.
"No the police are absolutely idiots! They don't help at all! The person I talked to didn't even believe Jungmei existed and they were the obes who took her case, absolute fools" She huffed but I held her tighter as I tried to calm her down.
"Yoonmi-ah please...just try and believe in the positive for a moment okay?" She was quiet fot a moment before she nodded and it seems like it's working as she let's out puffs of air before letting out a little nod.
"Thank you for that unnie" She leaned back looking at me with red rimmed eyes as her nose was a little red too. A small smile played on her lips and I patted her head.
"No need to thank me. I'm just as scared as you are but remember we need to stay helping each other. It's no use pretending to be strong but we also can't fall into the hole of misery. We need to cherish her memory but never forget she was once with us and now we need to save our two sisters from their minds" I give a supportive nod and I see determination grow back in her eyes.
"Yes wow I'm so glad we all have you to keep us together when our leader is down. You're a great unnie. Jungmei would be proud of you" I felt my eyes tear up at her words before lightly hitting her arm.
"Aish don't make me cry again~" We both let out a soft laugh before I pay her shoulder as I find the strength to try to figure stuff out again. I don't want to make her words seem false now about being a great unnie. I need to be there for them all.
"Okay now let's get up and get some food in us all, real food this time. Also go grab a shower before dinner" I give her a pointed look as she huffs rolling her eyed before standing up. "You can't say alot, I can feel your bones as I hug you. You need to eat more too" She said and I scrunch my nose up not denying it. I cant lie about it and she smiles seeing me not denying it. This moment felt healing to us giving us strength to keep on fighting.
"Hush Hush child and go shower while I go make us food" I tease and she shakes her head with a smile.
"Fine but only because I agree about needing a shower. After that I'll go check in on Jamie and Hanna" She said before walking out of the room. The moment she walked out the heavy silence in the room returned as I let out a sigh. I hate how my emotions can change so fast but I need to stay together for them and start healing.
I shake my head before walking out of the room for the first time in days. The quietness never faded away and is still looming in every part of the dorm but we still need to work things out.
I walk all the way to the kitchen before I'm met with the same sight that I saw the last time I was in here. It's just as half clean as the day we broke apart even more. It doesn't surprise me that Taeyon and Namree still didn't use the kitchen since they were rarely here. Letting out a sigh I walk closer and begin cleaning the space up a bit before opening the fridge to search for something to eat.
Why am I not surprised?
I throw my head back closing my eyes seeing the lack of food. We all seriously need to always stock up on food because this is just ridiculous.
Maybe if we had food in the house Jungmei wouldn't have-
Okay okay stop!
I take a few deep breaths as I try to regain focus when I hear the front door open. The sound of footsteps echo through the hallway as I hold my breath. Not even a few seconds later I saw both Namree and Taeyon walking in with takeaway bags.
"I'm telling you Unnie we need to tell what our mana-"
"Shush!" I raise my eyebrows as Namree harshly shushes Taeyon when when she makes eye contact with me. I narrow my eyes at them and Taeyon turns around with wide eyes and a nervous smile.
"H-Hi Unnie! I see you are up?" She asked and I nodded still aware of their suspicious actions. "Yeah I wanted to make us some food but then I saw there is none" I shrugged and Namree gave me a dimpled smile. It looked so genuine that I had to blink a few times as it was the first time I've seen it since Jungmei.
"Good thing we came home then! Me and Taeyon stopped and got takeaways for us all." I smiled as guilt ate away at me. They both still cared enough to buy us all food even though the ones who remember have been avoiding them and sending them glares.
"Thank you both. We still need to go buy groceries though..." I look down at the thought of going out again and facing the news that would still be full blown or I think it would but honeslty I've been staying away from any social media or any news so I have no idea what is happening.
"We can go out later today to go and buy some groceries if you want?" Taeyon looks at me with a hopeful smile which makes me freeze. As the eldest I seriously have left out the two while worrying about the rest. I need to pull myself together and try again like I am trying to motivate Yoonmi.
"Yes I'll join you" A boxy smile formed on her lips before she pushed the takeaway bag into the free hand of Namree and dashed towards me. I let out an oof as she hugged me so tightly that I felt like I was being smothered by a bear.
"It's been quite a weird time recently and I missed you" She said into our hug and I hugged her tighter. Perhaps it was better she forgot her sadness since now seeing the difference between her before and her after Jungmei's death it's like seeing different personalities. This Taeyon is the one before all of the bad things came to us.
I just wish we could have Jungmei back too but I really should stop letting my mind always flow there. "Yeah it's definitely been something..." I sigh as she released me from the hug but still stayed close.
"Does that mean you are over the-"
"Careful with your words Taeyon-ah" Namree warned her as she came closer and side hugged me before placing the bags on the counter. "Oh yeah sorry" Taeyon apologized and I shook my head. I don't want to cause any drama at the moment and I know what they want to say but I have no energy to start this fight again and I don't want to lose any of my sisters anymore.
"Anyway how about we plate the food and wait for the rest. Yoonmi already went to go and-"
"GET AWAY FROM ME!"
"I SWEAR IF YOU DON'T START WALKING THEN I WILL PUNCH THE LIVING FLUFF OUT OF YOU!"
The three of us freeze at the sound of a high pitched scream from the hallway before a disturbed Jamie and shocked Hanna enters the kitchen. Yoonmi huffs before looking at me with a soft smile but her smile drops at the sight of Namree and Taeyon.
All three of their faces fall at the sight of the two with me but I quickly say something before one of them start something. I don't have the energy for a useless fight anymore.
"So you are back from your shower right Yoonmi? Namree and Taeyon brought us food so I don't want to hear anything from any of you and I want you all to go sit at the table. Any arguments will get a talking to and I am not in the right mood right now to be messed with" Jamie looked up at me with broken eyes before nodding as she walks out.
Hanna's gaze stays on the two near me before she attempts a smile and walks out. Yoonmi stares at me and I raise my eyebrows making her let out a long sigh before she looks at the two again.
"It's nice to see you both in the dorm again. We...missed you here with us like now" Her honesty surprised me at how easy it was but it hurt when I could hear the longing for them to be back like normal with us in her voice clearly.
"It's...nice too" Namree said as her shoulders relaxed and Yoonmi nodded before she walked out too. I hold my breath in for a second before shaking my head and turning towards the bag tearing it open taking out the food.
"Hey Taeyon can you please hand me over sev- I-I mean six plates please" I stutter over my own save as I cringe from changing the word as I clench my jaw. It won't be easy so soon I still have a long path to heal but I don't want to cry anymore now and I want to be strong.
"Yes unnie!" Taeyon beamed at me as she handed me the plates. I moved fast as I plated each order individually on each plate before six plates were full. The sight still feels weird and I don't want to focus on the fact that it would be the first time we ate together without her.
Focus Seokmi FOCUS!
I pinch my wrist before picking up two plates. Namree and Hanna copy my movement as they both take two plates and we walk out. When we reach the table we place a plate infront of everyone before sitting down. A small silence followed as everyone just stared at the food awkwardly.
Come on Seokmi try your best
"Let's dig in girls" I say with a small smile and Namree, Taeyon, Hanna and Yoonmi gives me grateful looks while Jamie just sat staring at her food. I started first and then the rest followed as we ate silently until Taeyon spoke up.
"I really miss you all at the company. The studio isn't the same without you all and it doesn't help that the manager-"
"Taeyon!" Namree dropped her hands on the table sending a warning glare at Taeyon who blinked up at her before her eyes widened in regret.
I narrow my eyes on them as it is the second time I heard them saying this now and it's always Namree who stops her. Something feels off about this. It seems like Yoonmi felt the same as she squinted at them.
"What are two hiding?" She questions making both of them turn to her with wide eyes. If they didn't look guilty before then they certainly did now.
"We aren't hiding anything"
"Don't pretend I can cleary see you are"
"Listen we aren't-"
"Stop just...stop please" We all turn our heads to Jamie who still holds her eyes locked on her half eaten food. "You want us to break down further? Be my guest and start holding secrets. I mean you both went crazy already so I see no harm in it" She blurted out before her shoulders sagged.
"You know what, I'm just going to eat in my room" She started grabbing her plate but Namree stopped her. "Wait! Wait please Jamie-ah I'm sorry we will share what we know we are sorry" Jamie stared at Namree blankly before she just sat down again not making eye-contact with anyone. Namree took a deep breath before she looked around the table.
"So...today...our manager approached us and he said that things aren't looking that great. The media wants to know what happened to you all and nobody knows why the four of you got so closed off. Our manager said that he would come over soon to talk with us but the thing is I was scared to say anything because..." She paused as she was met with silence and Taeyon took over.
"Nothing you all are saying makes sense. The media, nobody knows about who the person is you all are talking about. I know you all think we haven't tried to figure out what is going on but we did. Nowhere is any trace of evidence that a person like that exists or existed and the claim you all made with her being a 7th member...I'm sorry but there is nothing like that. We were scared our manager would want you all to go get help...you aren't crazy just...confused?" She scrunched up her nose at her own words but when they both still heard nothing they saw us looking at them with wide eyes.
My jaw dropped in disbelief because...what in the messed up world?
"W-What?" Hanna asked as she looked like she was going to run away at any second. "I'm sorry you all"
"This...this is why nobody could find her body? I...the police officer really didn't...know...her. No no we need to find her I..." Yoonmi stared at her hands as tears streamed down her face shocking Namree and Taeyon.
"Unnie-" Yoonmi shook her head before she stood up and started walking away. Not even a second later Jamie stood up with no words said as she walked away.
The only one's left were me, Namree, Hanna and Taeyon in the silence. "I'm sorry-"
"Don't apologize Tae...it's not your fault you were only telling the truth" I said as I reached over to pat her hand. Hanna shot her head up at me with a frown.
"The truth? How could it be the truth?" She shook her head and I sighed leaning back as the tiredness fell over me once again. I should never have gotten up. It was useless.
"You can see it, she is telling her truth meaning that what she said is true because for some reason this universe is really showing us we are going crazy. Nothing makes sense anymore but fighting won't help us..." I look at them all before sighing.
"I'm sorry unnie but I still need time I hope you understand" Hanna says as she stands up from her place and walks away. I drop my head into my hands as it's only Namree and Taeyon left with me.
Maybe we all really are going crazy...won't surprise me anymore!
"Unnie...are you okay?" Namree patted my back and honestly...no.
"I'll be fine...I just..."
I've come to the conclusion that...it won't get better....nothing will get better...
"I'm okay"
No I'm not but it's okay to pretend because...
Maybe soon I'll join them into the memory tainted happiness...
Because...I give up...I tried and tried again but I don't think it's working out anymore now with the news of our manager and people not knowing Jungmei anymore...
I'm sorry Jungmei...
I'm so sorry