"Hex" I pant as I jog to catch up. He had left Wyonna's room in a hurry and left me behind in the process.
He doesn't wait and continues walking, not looking at anyone or anything around him. His jaw clenches and unclenches each time a nurse smiles at him as he walks past. I throw each one a sorry when their faces crumble a little.
I eventually catch up to him, latching my hand on his forearm, rubbing it up and down in comfort.
The lady at the front desk says goodbye to us but she's promptly ignored. The automatic doors open and allow cold air to hit us in the face as we exit.
Oxygen fills my lungs and I hear the deep inhale Hex does beside me, it does little to calm him.
My thighs start to ache at the fast pace I have to keep up to stay by Hex's side. He's in a rush, wanting to be in the comfort of our own home as quickly as possible before he loses it in the car park of the hospice.
"Excuse me!" The shriek of an older woman echos from behind us. I look over my shoulder and see her waving her hand at us. I don't recognise her and I ignore her when Hex doesn't bother stopping either. "It's common curtesy; ladies first."
I have no idea what she's talking about but when I look over my shoulder once again, I see her waving her hand at the doors. There was plenty of room for both Hex and her to walk through at the same time and it becomes apparent quickly that she just wants to make a scene.
Hex's temper balances on the edge and its not going to be this woman that sends him over the edge and embarrasses him in public.
"Excuse me!"
My hair whips my face as I spin to look at her, my eyebrows bunch together in what I hope is an intimidating look.
"Would you shut the fuck up!" I match her attitude and volume. It seems to stun her into silence as her mouth opens and closes like a fish before she turns and finally walks into the hospice without another word.
Hex remains silent but his hand grabs my own and holds it tight.
I take the keys from him and sit in the drivers seat. He doesn't even bother fighting me like he usually would. He's still shaking and his leg bounces as he looks out the passenger window.
My heart aches watching him in such a state and there being nothing I can do to make him feel better.
We arrive home before I know it, my mind somehow being on auto pilot and getting us from point A to point B without any cognitive thought.
I get out of the car and lock it once Hex gets out too. Except he rounds the car instead of walking in the direction of our apartment. I stop in my way as he towers over me and holds out his hand. I place the keys in his open palm and he leans down to kiss my forehead.
"I'll be back in a bit" I can do nothing as he walks around me and gets in the drivers side of the car, turns the engine on and then reverses out, leaving me standing there by myself.
He's gone before I can even stop him, let alone talk to him. My heart sinks to the lowest point it can, he shouldn't be by himself right now and he definitely shouldn't be in public.
The memory of the time he had left and gone to therapy runs through my head on replay as I convince myself that he's making good choices.
I have no option other than to turn around and walk to our apartment by myself. Hex had taken the keys and for a brief moment I worry that I'll be locked out until he comes back but then I remember the key under the doormat.
I pick it up and unlock the door. I'm about to put it back in place but decide against it and bring the key inside for safety reasons.
I jump as Teddy scares me when he runs around the corner with a meow.
Its eerie being home by myself, especially after the news we've just received. It feels like Wyonna has already passed and we're already grieving. Its a strange feeling, one I hadn't expected.
I consider calling Sarah to keep me company since Harley is in no state and mum had told me she was going on a lunch date today. But I decide not to. If Hex comes home, he's not going to want anyone around, especially if he comes home upset.
I can't help but feel slightly angry. I know he has problems communicating and prefers to run away from them but I'm his Darling, he should feel comfortable confiding in me instead of leaving me wondering where he is and if he's safe as I wait at home like a military wife for him to walk through the door or for the call saying he's been arrested.
But then I feel guilty for making it about my feelings when his mother is on her deathbed.
"C'mon Teddy, I need a cuddle" I mumble and pick him up, walking us both to the lounge room to await Hex's arrival.
*
I wake in the dark. It makes my heart pound in fear and I reach over to turn the lamp on. Teddy meows, he had remained curled up beside me on the couch the entire time.
I hadn't planned on going to sleep but the lack there of last night must have been effecting me more than I had thought.
My eyes catch the front windows that show the outside; it makes my skin crawl imagining someone on the other side, looking in.
"Sorry Ted" I softly push him out of the way and even though I feel bad, the fear overrides it.
I breathe a sigh of relief when I pull the curtains closed and look to the clock.
Its 10pm.
I rush over to my phone that I had placed on the coffee table and see no missed calls nor texts.
My fingers move quickly as I pull up Hex's contact and press call but my anger grows when he lets it ring out.
I bite my bottom lip as I think about what to do for a moment but ultimately decide fuck it.
"I'll be back, Teddy" I gather my phone and car keys, give Teddy a pat and then walk out the front door.
I ignore the nagging in the back of my mind, warning me of the dangers of being out at night, especially when Ace Pollar is running around somewhere.
My eyes move right and left, looking for anything that lurks in the shadows, listening for any noise.
Everyones cars are in their respected parks, except for Hex's, its still empty.
Usually I'm getting ready for bed at this hour but I just spent the majority of the day sleeping and there's no way I'll be going back to sleep anytime soon, especially without knowing where Hex is.
I lock the doors as soon as I get in my car and check the backseats, it allows me to relax a little.
I have no idea where to start and I regret not asking Hex to share his location with me before he left.
I start on my way to Harley's house, hoping I'll find Hex there.
But when I drive by, his car isn't out the front and their lights are off inside, indicating that Harley and Banks are in bed and probably have no idea where Hex is either.
I have no where else to check, besides the hospice. Its closed at this hour and I have no doubt Wyonna is asleep but I start driving in the direction on the off chance he's sitting in the carpark or maybe they let him in.
But once again his car isn't there.
I don't know where else to go and I find myself driving through town, looking through the windows of stores as I drive past but a lot of them are closed and the ones that are open are mostly empty.
A lightbulb goes off in my head; maybe he's at Clyde's house. But I have no idea where Clyde lives; I don't think Hex even knows where Clyde lives. So, instead I go to the mechanic shop but everything is locked up, the front fence closed with a big chain and lock.
"Fucking hell, Hex" I mumble under my breath, my voice shakes as I breathe out.
This street gives me the creeps as I remember seeing Ace walk along the same street only a short time ago.
I've driven everywhere in town, past everywhere I thought Hex would be and have still come up empty handed.
My heart sinks as it races when a lightbulb goes off in my mind and I'm immediately overwhelmed with a feeling of nausea. If Hex isn't in town anywhere then there's only one other place he can be.
Eastside.