"No,"
Iyon kakaagad ang sagot ko kay Leopold. Wala pa ngang isang segundo ang nakakalipas ay naramdaman ko na ang pagluwag ng pagkakahawak niya sa leeg ko. Nawala rin ang malapit na hininga niya sa may leeg ko ngunit ramdam kong nakaupo siya sa harapan ko rito sa kama. I can see his really big unclear shadow. It is towering me even with him being seated.
"Did your tongue just click again?" I asked after I heard the same noise that feels like he is annoyed.
I find it cute.
"You're...different." I heard him sigh. Sa tantiya ko ay nag-iisip siya. "This is the first time I met a very weird human like you who can say no to my lust. The temptation...you can say no to it. Am I losing my power? Am I... useless? Oh, fuck. I might. But no. The other humans cannot deny me. Only this one can say no. Akala ko ay noong una lang iyon. Isang beses lang ngunit ngayon, I am seeing it's not just that one time."
What was supposed to be just a question about me turned out to be his loud monologue in front of me, too. Muntik pa akong matawa kung hindi ko lang nakakalimutan ang nangyayari. Na sa ngayon ay dinadalaw na naman ako ng isang Incubus. And until now, I cannot fathom that I can summon him using my lust. But right now, I do not feel the lust at all. He once told me that my lust is stronger when I am mad inside. Maybe that has something to do with it.
"If I kill someone, pupunta ba ako sa langit?" I asked him out of the blue. I am pretty sure he is as confused as I am.
"I mean...kill for what?"
"For raping me."
"Fuck."
I have no idea if that is a good kind of reaction or what. I am just sure it sounds bad.
"I have been sexually taken advantage of since I was a kid." I started telling him but that did not stop him from doing what he came here for. He started touching me slowly again. And I am not complaining this time. His touches are healing me. "That fucking dirty man."
"Tell me more, Ariella." He said and started kissing my neck. "I will not guarantee that I will care and listen to all of it, but it might help you. Your mad eyes are sexy. Your lust deepens when you have those eyes."
"I... I don't understand."
The next thing I knew, he aggressively made me lay down my bed and he ruined all my clothes again. I can feel my whole nakedness and his lustful eyes feasting on me. But the thought of this man looking at me full of lust, like the first time I saw his whole, it is out of this world. The satisfaction and the lust, it is all because of just that thought.
"Tell me more, Ariella. Tell me more..."
Naglalakbay na naman ang mga kamay niya sa kabuuan ko. Kinakabisado ang bawat parte ng katawan ko. He pleasures ne with every touch he makes.
"That dirty old man, that psychopath, that maniac..."
"Hmm, what?"
"He violated me. He violated me before, too."
"Did he touch you without your permission?"
"He sexually abused me!"
I can hear myself shouting at him but to no accord, I am starting to moan because of what he is doing to me. Hindi ko na nalalabanan ang ginagawa niya kagaya ng pagsabi ko ng 'no' kani-kanina lamang.
"Oh, fuck. Leopold..."
"You are mad. It's sexy,"
"I want to kill him." I hissed. This time I even grabbed his hair and made sure my other hand is touching his left cheek. "I will kill him, Leopold."
"Hmm, that is where these lusts are coming from. Sexy...so damn gorgeous."
I started kissing him back. I intentionally kissed his lips and now savoring his every little bite on me. Kagaya noong una, napakalambot at nakakabaliw sa pakiramdam iyon. He is so alluring, and it is expected from a demon of lust himself.
"Your lust keeps on getting heavier and heavier. Nastier. Tastier."
"I will kill him. I will kill him."
Paulit-ulit kong sambit iyon sa bawat segundong sisinghap ako ng hangin mula sa pakikipaghalikan kay Leopold. I do not know what is happening inside of me, but it feels like telling him my anger while he is pleasuring me heals me that I cannot even start to explain it. Mentally, emotionally, physically...and even spiritually, I can feel that this sex is healing me even though it is happening through my dream and reality. My little moans with my mad screams, they are the proof that this demon of lust is my therapy.
"Leopold...you're healing me."
"You cannot fall in love with me, Ariella. I've seen a lot of humans doing that."
"What do you mean?"
He bit my lower lip. I heard his chuckle and even slapped my right butt cheek from the side. "Lust is our only connection. I do not need your love. Humans tend to get attached and be confused with love and lust. If you fall for me, you'll never see me again. You'll never be able to fuck with me again."
"That's it?"
"Yeah,"
"And what if I don't fall? I'll be able to fuck with you forever?"
He laughed. "Yeah. Your whole lifetime."
That made me feel the thrill. Fucking and bedding this man of lust for a long time seems tempting and fun. It might be because it has only been for just a few times. My excitement might also have something to do with the fact that I was able to see again the first time I met him.
"You made me borrow your eyes once, Leopold." I said. I stopped kissing him back. "Can I borrow it again? I wanna see him die with my own hands."
The kiss stopped after that. Later, I found myself wide awake panting and so tired looking for him who was just on top of me a while ago. He left. I woke up without hearing his answer.
Did I ask something wrong?