Enjoy!
"Leave! Get out! Get out! I don't want to see your face! You're off my service!" Dr. Grey's voice thundered through Penny Blake's mind as she wandered through the hallway.
That scar...
Her hands shook, just like they did when she'd stitched up that wound.
That's what happens when your head hits a window at eighty miles an hour. Dr. Grey had said. Or maybe when a fresh-faced intern sutured a woman who just lost her baby.
Penny stiffled a sob and pushed herself into an on-call room. So much had happened that day. She could never forget it.
Four years ago:
Penny navigated the freeway expertly through the construction traffic. She was used to it. She took this road nearly every day for work. She scowled when the radio buzzed with a song she'd heard a million times. Maybe she should check in with the news.
"-Are trying to get some answers, but what we know so far is that a gun man has opened fire at Pacific college, and there could possibly be a dozen- Okay, I'm hearing twenty... twenty victims..."
"Oh my God-" Penny exclaimed.
"A total of fifteen ambulances are on their way, and I'm being told that Shepherd Grace hospital has accepted the call to action and all patients will be sent there, to their newly upgraded level one trauma center."
Penny gasped "Holy-" Twenty possible GSW's? Incredible. She wished she could be there in the action. She glanced down to turn the volume up, unable to tear herself away from this tragedy. But when her attention shifted back to the road, she had to suddenly swerve and brake to avoid the Jeep that was spinning toward her.
Somehow she managed to avoid getting hit, and her little Taurus screeched to a stop on the side of the road.
When she finally came out of her initial shock, she bolted out of the car to see if she could help. She fumbled for her phone as she surveyed the scene. Three cars spread out over the freeway, a Black Camaro was the farthest away, its front end completely crushed and smoking. In the middle, laying on it's side, a white SUV resembled a crumpled styrofoam coffee cup, and right in front of her an old light blue Jeep, the driver's side beaten in.
Resisting the urge to vomit, Penny jogged to the Jeep first. The driver's door was completely smashed in so she had to approach from the passenger side. Thankfully it was unlocked. Penny inhaled, steadying herself for a moment before yanking on the door to see what the damage was to the person inside. She gasped. Resting atop of the deflated airbag was what appeared to be a young woman, not much older than her. Blood covered the left side of her face from a large laceration at the top of her head. But what was more shocking for the young intern was her obvious pregnant belly, and the darkening pool of blood between her thighs.
"Oh god..."
"Oh god, oh god, oh god..." Penny panted, wiping her eyes. How was it possible? How did it seem that the very patient who changed her life was now her boss? Her attending? She couldn't do this... she shook her head... no, she couldn't work here.
Suddenly the door opened, and Penny shifted on her bunk, turning away from the door.
"I'm just saying Herman has a stick up her ass," a man said. "You should call her on it. This is a teaching hospital, you're one of the best surgeon's here, she had no right to treat you like crap."
"- And I'm saying that it's nothing I can't handle, Karev. Yeah, Herman's tough, but Callie and I can handle her."
"Whatever, but she shouldn't be operating if she's been having migraines. You need to talk to her."
There was a sigh, a shuffle of feet, "Yeah... I guess you're right about that."
"You know I am." There was sound of a pager beeping. "Crap. I gotta go, Robbins."
The door clicked closed and there was a sigh.
Penny couldn't contain her tears anymore and sniffed loudly.
"Oh, are you okay?" A soft voice asked.
"Oh..." Penny swallowed thickly and turned over in the bunk to see who was talking to her. Another attending judging by the navy scrubs. Robbins... wasn't she in Ped's? "It's fine. I'm fine."
Robbins frowned. "You don't look fine."
Penny just shook her head, silently wishing the blonde would just leave her be, although she appreciated her concern.
"Wait... you're the new resident aren't you?"
"How did you-"
"It's a big hospital. but not that big. Aren't you on Grey's service? You should be on rounds by now."
"Yeah... well" Penny shrugged half heartedly. "Not anymore."
"She kicked you off your service?"
Penny sniffed again and shifted to sit up on the bed. She ran her hands over her thighs trying to get rid of the sweat that collected on her palms.
The other doctor stepped closer to her. Her blue eyes shone with intensity. "What did she say to you? Did she-"
"You know it's fine..." Penny interrupted. "This... was a mistake, coming here. I think- I think I'll talk to the chief, and have him release me from my contract, and I can... I can rematch somewhere else."
"You shouldn't have to do that. We're one of the best teaching hospital's in the country. If she- said something- If Grey offended or hurt you-"
"No," Penny shook her head, "No, it wasn't like that. It's me. I..."
"What?"
"Why am I even talking to you about this? I don't even know you... It's none of your business..."
"What's not my business? That a resident can't learn because her attending is being a bitch? Of course that's my business. That's everyone's business. This is a freaking teaching hospital after all."
"It's not that."
"Then what?"
Penny bit the corner of her lip before she blurted, "Dr. Grey was in an accident four years ago. I know this because she was my patient."
xxx
"Planning a trip?" Amelia croaked.
Owen didn't know what to say. "Amelia..." he said softly. What was wrong? What was going on with her? She looked... like she'd been punched in the gut. He walked toward her and stopped a few feet in front of her, trying to read her, find out what happened.
"Your sister? The one you don't talk about? She... in trouble?" Amelia asked, tucking her hands into her labcoat, she stared down at her shoes, as if unable to bring herself to look up at him.
"Um..." Owen started, what could he say? How could he explain? They hadn't really talked about family. He didn't think... she wanted to hear about Megan. Amelia seemed to have enough drama going on all around her by herself. Their not talking talking thing had led to a lot more other... passionate ways to communicate. So he settled for a quiet, "yeah."
"Oh." Amelia nodded, but she still didn't meet his gaze. Her torso pivoted toward the wall as she seemed to try to avoid him but still be in his space.
"Are you okay?" He stepped a little closer, reaching out to touch her but still too far away to do so.
"Oh, peachy." She smirked and stepped around him, her gaze locked on some of the random pictures he'd put up in the office.
"Amelia..." Owen sighed. Of course he had to get involved with someone so emotional.
"So, where are you going?"
"Amelia..." If she would just tell him what happened, why she looked so... dejected.
"Just answer the question Owen!" She snapped, turning to face him. "When are you leaving? Where are you going? How long will you be gone?"
"Tomorrow. Somewhere in Jordan probably, and... I don't know." Then he swallowed thickly. "My sister..." he sighed, "She got on a chopper to help a patient, and now she's gone."
"Gone?" Amelia asked, concern lacing her voice. She stepped a little closer to him this time, her eyes watery.
"The chopper never arrived. There was a sandstorm and- I have to go look, I have to find her. I'm leaving tomorrow."
"Oh." she said, like the wind was knocked out of her. Her gaze slid downward, and she twitched back toward the door.
"Amelia," He pleaded. Just because he was leaving for his sister, didn't mean he was leaving her.
"No, it's okay. I get it. She's your sister. You want to protect her. That's what brothers do right?" Amelia nodded. "So you're leaving, just like every man in my life. I um-" she wiped under her eye. "I hope you find her." And without a further word, she whirled around and left.
Owen felt his gut coil and tighten with frustration and heartbreak. Did Amelia actually believe he intended on dumping her? How could she think so little of him? "Amelia-" he started after her, but as he left the office, Arizona practically bowled him over.
"Chief! You knew, didn't you?" She exclaimed, standing right in front of him, blocking him from Amelia's quick exit.
"What?" he said, looking over Arizona's shoulder.
"We need to talk about Penelope Blake-"
"We can talk about her later, I already told Bailey-" He shifted on his feet, trying to move, get around her so he could go after his girlfriend.
But Arizona remained in his face, "How could you not tell her? Prepare her? What the hell is she doing on Grey's service on her first day? Are you trying to kill our residents? Death by Medusa?"
Owen sighed. Amelia was gone, far out of sight. He wouldn't be able to get out of this right now. "Arizona-" he pleaded, rubbing his forehead. It was going to be a long night.
xxx
Alex sighed as he finished marking in his chart. It had been a close call. A teenager had been brought in with what looked like a serious wound, but it had been superficial, just a lot of blood. People really shouldn't play with guns, even if it is a BB gun.
The back of his neck prickled and he saw Jo approach him. He smiled when he saw her. She looked, tired and... pensive though.
"Hey," he said casually.
"Hey," she leaned over on the counter, her hand brushing his.
He went back to his work, filling in the last of his notes.
"A BB gun? Seriously?"
"Seriously," he replied, putting the tablet down. "Hey, you wanna go somewhere? Grab a bite or something?" He knew he's been pushing her away. Ever since Amber left. He didn't know exactly why... he just felt like Jo knew something. That Amber had told her something. Honestly, it didn't bother him that Jo knew something that he didn't. What bothered him was that Amber was obviously in trouble and hadn't stuck around long enough to let him help her. She didn't trust him. She didn't want him. But somehow she'd confided to his girlfriend? That was a low blow.
Jo drummed her fingers on the counter.
"What?" he asked.
"I love you, you know that right?"
Okay, that wasn't a good sign. He looked up from the tablet, reached over and tilted her chin up so she'd look him in the eye. "And I love you, you know that right?"
Jo nodded.
"You can tell me anything," he said and he meant it.
"I know..." She wrapped her arms around herself, her expression sad.
Alex looked around and nodded to an empty patient room. Jo followed behind him and closed the door.
He sat down on the stool and waited. It didn't matter, he told himself, no matter what she told him, he still loved her. He would still love her.
Jo paced, her hands dug deep into her labcoat pocket.
"Jo?"
"I know. I know..." she inhaled deeply. "I used to live in my car when I was sixteen, I ran away from my foster home and stole a car. A couple cars actually, and... Yeah... I was homeless for most of my Junior year."
Alex nodded. He was well aware Jo had a rough life. He didn't care about her past. He cared about who she was right now. "Okay," he said.
"Yeah... so I was homeless for awhile, and I had to protect myself... so I bought a gun."
Alex blinked, a little surprised, but, it made sense he supposed. "Okay," he said. "You were scared."
"Yeah, I was scared." Jo echoed, but she still paced around the room, nervously wringing her hands.
"What is it?"
"I kept the gun. Under the bed, in a box."
'Wait, you still have the gun?" Alex asked.
"Not anymore..." she sighed.
"What are you talking about?" Suddenly something seemed really really wrong. He didn't like where this converation was going now. "Jo?"
"Alex, Fred Martin isn't a PI. Amber lied to you. Fred Martin is Brent's dad, and he's been looking for Amber's kid. I don't know why... but Amber told me after you'd been paged to the hospital. She must've snooped around, because I was rearranging stuff at our new place and I couldn't find the gun. I couldn't find it. I looked everywhere."
"Fuck." Alex cursed as his stomach turned at the thought of his sister running around with a gun. He stood up suddenly, tipping the stool over as he did so. "I... I have to go." he said. He knew that he told her that she could tell him anything but this? Fuck!
"Alex!" Jo called.
"Leave me alone!" he bellowed as marched out of the room.
xxx
Mark collapsed back on the bed. "Wow... Lex, that was..." He panted.
"Hot."
"Hot," he repeated with a grin.
"Steamy," Lexie added.
"Steamy?"
"McSteamy."
He chuckled, a low bass rumble in his throat. It had been a long time since he'd heard that. A twinge of insecurity hit him. "I'm not being an immature, sex crazed teenager am I?" He knew that this was a big deal, getting back together with Lexie this way. This meant something for both of them. What... he didn't know.
"If anything, I'm the immature sex crazed teenager." Lexie said.
"Did I-" he hoped he hadn't manipulated her, or used her... "I mean uh-"
"Mark... it's okay. I wanted this. I wanted you."
"So..." But what did it mean?
Lexie shifted closer to him and traced lazy circles on his chest. He sighed happily and wrapped his arm around her.
"I realized something," Lexie rested her head on his shoulder. "I was selfish."
"Lex-"
"No- just listen okay?" she splayed her hand across his chest, and his heart thump-thumped a little faster.
"Kay," he said.
"I was a little selfish. Since the whole Sloane debacle."
"Really?" He raised his brows at her, not sure what to think. He had to admit, he'd given her an awful choice back then. If roles had been reversed? If he was the pretty young intern dating the hot successful attending whose kid showed up and needed support? He probably would've run too.
"Yeah," Lexie said, "I didn't realize till now, how much you love me, and... Mark, I took that for granted."
"Lexie-"
She pressed a finger to his lips, "shh, not done here."
"Mmm." Mark gazed at her expectantly.
"Anyway, what I was saying was... I want- I think... you know, if you promise to run only to me for grief sex, and not some Shepherd sister or nurse or... anyone... except me, you know... um," she swallowed, "I think I can get over the selfish thing. I want to give... you gave me so much, you've helped me so much, and I know... you're getting older, and doing that contemplating life and mortality thing so..."
"So..?" He was trying to catch her drift, her ramble, her whatever... trying to find out among all those words what she was actually saying, but was confused, what could she possibly give him that he didn't already have?
"Ithinkwecouldbeafamily," Lexie said, biting her lip.
"What?"
"We could be a family." She said slowly, and she traced his ear with her fingertip. "You, and me... and... you know... a k-kid maybe someday..." she smiled quickly, "You know," she gestured, waggling her finger between them. "If you want t-to."
It took a moment for his brain to process what his ears had heard. Somewhere in the Grey ramble, he heard the words, want, family, kid. Was that-? Did that mean-? "You wanna..."
"I want you. And me. Together for the rest of our lives. And maybe a mini Grey-Sloan. Maybe meaning probably... but not right away because-"
He stopped Lexie with a kiss so deep that he nearly sucked the air out of her. Her. And Him. And a maybe probably mini Grey-Sloan to run around the house filling it with laughter and joy. His heart thumped a little faster now as life seemed so much fuller now that Lexie decided that she truly wanted to share it with him.
xxx
Amelia sat on the wooden swing outside Meredith's house. She really should go to a meeting. She really should. Or call Webber. She could call him. But- Who cared anymore? Who really cared about her?
Her mother? Amelia scoffed. Of course she cared, but she also judged... Mark? Freaking Mark? Who had chased after Lexie like a love sick puppy? Yeah... not gonna happen. The paper bag crinkled as she pulled it down, revealing the slim glass bottle of Vodka.
Meredith? Did she care? Hah. That was a joke. Meredith was a joke. Meredith should just go to hell. She had no idea... no idea what it was like to be her. Amelia snorted as she stared at the bottle, her mouth watering in anticipation of the vile liquid.
And Hunt?
She could only blame herself for letting him in. And now it didn't matter if he cared or not. He didn't care enough. Not that he should... it had only been six weeks since she'd met him. Two, maybe three weeks of being maybe serious. She had no right thinking that she should come before his adoring sister.
She twisted the cap off the bottle.
She should really go to a meeting.
But-
Get your own life! Meredith's voice echoed in her head.
Who the hell cared? She didn't want to feel anymore. She didn't want to feel the helplessness and confusion from when her father was shot. She didn't want to feel Derek's hands on her chest as he performed CPR on her after she overdosed. She didn't want to feel the still, dead, weight of her own child in her arms as she held him for the last time. She didn't want to feel the press of Owen's hot lips on hers.
Not now, not anymore.
She wanted to be numb. She had to be numb.
Raising the bottle to her lips, Amelia took a sip.
Another. And then another.
A/N: Intense huh? We are ramping things up...