Grease Paint
Grace was sitting next to Nate, having moved herself from his lap the moment she realized that this wasn't gonig to be a fun and light hearted talk. And even though she really did want to know what he had to say, a part of her dreaded it and was petulantly throwing an internal fit, not wanting to hear it today/ Bad enough that she'd learned her aunt Opi was dying, her women's intuition was warning that this next part was just going to add to the bad news day.
"You're aunt...Opi was going to commit suicide today." Nate started and Grace just felt a jolt of painful adrenaline flood her system at his words, then a strange coldness settled into her body. "She didn't get the chance, because I took away her pill bottle. I've been worried for some time that she might go that route and after finding out the news today, I just...Some part of me knew. When she realized that I had her sleeping pills, she confronted me on it. Didn't try to deny it or anything. It's her choice ultimately and I know Ophelia better than she expects and so I knew that I have no real grounds to tell her what to do. Instead I offered her a bargain.” Nate’s voice was curiously monotone, as if he had switched off his vast emotional capacity or maybe just run to the limits of it and hit his emotional overload. It helped Grace to not freak out but she felt cold, using the Scotch they were still drinking to warm up her insides as her best friend continued his explanation. “I’ve got her to give me just over a week to try and convince her that she has a reason to live. And if I fail, I’ve promised to be there with her when she goes through with it.” Nate sighed and took the bottle from Grace. She stared at him, shock still stronger than the anger beginning in her gut. “My first attempt today failed. Miserably. I’m not going to try and paint it in a kind light to save face. I tried to seduce her. She was passively willing but I couldn’t do it.”
Nate shook his head and scrubbed his face while Grace stared at him. She felt the anger in her belly broil but mostly she felt betrayed. He’d changed the rules of their friendship only to turn around and try to seduce her aunt?
“Is there anything else I need to know that you’re keeping from me?” Grace demanded, fighting the urge to slap him. Or worse, cry. She wasn’t one of those stupid Hollywood females that was weak because of a man dammit, so she refused to act like it now. He deserved her anger, not her hurt and she was happy that that showed in her angry tone.
“Are you sure you want to hear? I did warn you that you’d end up hating me for what I had to say.” Nate’s voice was resigned, like he knew what she was going to say but still had to ask. He wasn’t even apologizing for his actions either! Like he didn’t care that he had led Grace on and made her think that they could actually have a real romantic relationship.
“I cannot believe you right now. You selfish bastard.” Grace snarled out at him. “Just tell me the rest and get the hell out of my house.”
Nate sighed again, standing up from her bed without argument. He handed her the bottle after taking one last swig from it as if to fortify himself for this next part. “I think Ophelia’s in love with Colby. I know she’s hurt by your relationship with him and I am going to do whatever I can to help them get together. She deserves some happiness at least.” He walked to the window and opened it up. But Grace knew that there was some final thing he had to say before leaving. Something that was just going to break her heart and she almost told him to stop talking. Almost.
He perched on the edge of the window sill and Grace could see his face looking just wretched. “But what’s really terrible, what makes all of this unforgiveable; is the simple fact that I did all of this fully knowing that I am in love with you Grace. And I don’t think I’ll be forgiving myself for hurting you like I have.” His confession was simple and the plain emotion in his voice slapped Grace across the face because she believed it.
She gaped at him as he climbed out of the window, leaving because she had to him to. She wasn’t sure if he expected her to stop him after his unexpected confession, to call him back in or simply let him go. Hell, she wasn’t even sure herself what she wanted to do in response to his words even after he had left. Part of her just felt numb. Her heart hurt from the news of her aunt, to Nate’s admission of trying to seduce her despite supposedly being in love with Grace. A disbelieving snort sounded in her room.
In love with me my ass! Grace thought harshly. She took a long drink to settle the numb part and help ease the shock from her system.”You don’t do that to someone you love.” She muttered out loud. The bottle was half empty when she finished her next drink from it. Her brain was starting to feel hazy and it just kept circling around a couple of things he’d said. He’d tried to seduce her aunt. Her aunt was going to kill herself. He was going to let her die. Worse, he was going to be there when she did it. Why the hell would Nate tell her this? She didn’t want to know. How could he put her in this position, put this burden on her? What did he expect her to do, keep it to herself?
Grace groaned and scrubbed her face, an unconscious mimicry of what Nate had done. “Think it out logically. He stopped her from committing suicide. Something no one else seemed to worry about, he figured out and prevented. But she’s only going to wait a week? No, he said just over a week. Jesus that’s vague. Why tell me it’s coming but not when? Is he afraid I’d try and stop her? He should be! Why the crap isn’t he trying to stop her?!” Grace fumed and drank some more. By now she was feeling more than a little fuzzy and realized that maybe she should stop drinking so much or else she’d pay for it in the morning.
But despite having dreamt about her best friend confessing love to her, Grace didn’t feel good about finally hearing it at all. It seemed that his love wasn’t even close enough to keep him from screwing around and that meant Grace really didn’t want anything to do with it!
There was a knock at her bedroom door, but before Grace could get up to answer it, or even think about hiding the evidence of her drunken state, her father opened the door. He eyed the mostly empty bottle of alcohol in her hands and scowled, looking around the room. It was rather obvious that he was going to chew Nate out for getting his daughter drunk, but Nate wasn’t here now. Nope padre, I did this all to myself. Grace thought and had to stifle the stupid urge to cry.
But instead of an adult telling off, or anything else Grace expected out of her dad just then, he simply walked over to the bed and finished off the bottle in one long pull. He sat on the edge of her bed and just rolled the bottle in his hands slowly, not saying anything at first. It seemed strange to Grace to see her father look so… beaten. Finally she remembered that his mother had died of cancer when he was still young and now he was forced to live through another family member go through it all again. And I accused Nate of being selfish!
“She still has time. I won’t let it just end like this. We’ll get a second opinion. She can try some of those experimental trials…” West started to ramble a little. Grace didn’t know why her dad was telling her all this at first. Of course, he didn’t know that Ophelia was planning on killing herself, of taking what little time they had left with her away. And Grace was about to tell him just that when she hesitated. Her father was impulsive and she knew he’d do something immediate and rash if she told him. Like lock Opi in her room or have her put in a hospital under suicide watch. Until what? It would only make her aunt absolutely miserable. She’d also have to tell him how she found out and that would doom Nate to a fate worse than death. God. No wonder Nate hadn’t told anyone. Well, anyone but her that was.
Grace hugged dad silently, all the while starting to really wonder why Nate had told her. Clearly Opi didn’t want anyone knowing or interfering. And Grace could guess that her aunt had made Nate promise not to tell anyone. But he has still told her. Why?
“We’ll help each other through this dad. She’s not alone, we’re not alone. We’re the James family, which means we’re tough and we stick together.” Grace comforted her father as it finally occurred to her. Nate had told her because he couldn’t bear the burden of knowing on his own. He was asking for her help and even with all the other bullshit, she should have realized that. Instead she had simply thought about how it was all affecting her. Selfish like a little child would be. “Dad, I think that she’s going to need us a lot in the next while. But I also think we need to let her tell us what she wants from us. Auntie O has always only asked that we listen to her needs. I want to see her live into old crotchetiness too, but I think it would be selfish to make her endure all that pain just so that I don’t have to miss her.” Grace said calmly, the alcohol helping her say the words despite knowing how her dad was likely to respond to it.
But her father surprised her. He simply looked at her a little sadly. “You aren’t supposed to be this grown up yet. You’re my little girl, I’m supposed to be giving you all the sage advice.”
Grace laughed. “Oh don’t worry daddy, my bout of maturity is short lived. I’m still dumb enough to get myself into trouble. Like I said, I am a James.” She nudged her father’s shoulder.
Westley smiled at her. “Too true. Brush your teeth and drink some water before you come down. You smell like a bar.” He instructed and left Grace sitting on her own.
She still didn’t move though, even knowing that her family was expecting her downstairs. Maybe she could understand why Nate wasn’t telling anyone but her about Opi’s suicide aspirations. And even as reprehensible as it was, his attempt to seduce Opi was to help convince her to stay alive. But he said he hadn’t been able to do it. Now Grace needed to know, did he fail because he couldn’t do it, or because her aunt couldn’t? She wasn’t going to him for the answer. Which only left asking her aunt directly. Oh this was going to be a fun conversation.