Intro
Mr. Wolf: Yeah! I'm bad!
Mr. Snake: You're bad!
Ms. Tarantula: He's bad!
Mr. Hornet: She's bad!
Mr. Piranha: We're bad!
Mr. Shark: Who's bad?
The Bad Guys: Yeah!
We're the Bad Guys!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Some time ago in prison*
Diane was visiting the Bad Guys in jail where she was waiting in the visitation area. When they were called, a cop opened the door for them to see Diane, and they sat at the same table with her,
"Hey, guys. How was jail time doing?" Diane asked in concern.
"I have to be honest, it's a bit boring and no fun..." Snake started, but he was cut off when Wolf wrapped an arm around him to make him stop.
"But it was kinda great, Diane! We spend a little time together, we do service, and..." Wolf then shifted to Piranha and Hornet's sides, "And these two have some kind of chemistry together!"
"W-w-wait, what?!" Piranha exclaimed.
"Excuse me?!" Hornet squeaked.
"You're both stubborn and aggressive," Wolf pointed.
"I am not!" Piranha and Hornet answered in unison while crossing their arms.
"See? You always agreed with each other," Wolf teased them again.
"No, we don't!" Piranha and Hornet shook their heads.
"I am definitely seen a couple here!"
"You're not! Because I'm not! Phew!"
"Besides, Wolf. We're both guys! Two guys shouldn't be in love!" Piranha pointed,
"That's gross." And I'm a hornet, and he's a piranha. It won't work out between us," Hornet added.
"Uhh, Hornet, I'm a tarantula and you're a hornet. It worked out between us," Tarantula reminded.
"Yeah, but we weren't in love, are we? Plus, we're the same size, so we're supposed to be good," Hornet said.
"And Piranha, I thought you heard about the LGBTQ+ community. Everybody is part of it," Diane reminded.
"Yeah. And Hornet, you're pansexual. You're supposed to be in love with anyone!" Shark exclaimed.
"Yeah, well, I'm not feeling it yet, alright? Not even to any of you yet... Well, except for Webs, I already tried her, but it didn't work out," Hornet replied.
"You just need to get out there, and meet someone," Diane stopped when he realized the Bad Guys were still in jail, "I mean, you can find someone else here in prison."
Hornet rolled his eyes and groaned, "Ugh, whatever."
"Yeah, I don't think I have feelings for Hornet. And I'm not sure about the community you're talking about. I'm not into romance anyway," Piranha told Diane as he hopped off the seat, and wanted to head back to his cell.
When Piranha left and Hornet wasn't listening, Snake chuckled as he whispered to Wolf, "I think they won't last a month not realizing they like each other."
Wolf smirked in agreement as he held a fist with Snake bumped into it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
9 months later
At the Bad Guys' hideout, Hornet was sitting on the coffee table, typing on his tiny keyboard which was connected to his helmet, and the screen showed interesting profile pictures on a certain website.
Tarantula was climbing up the table, and noticed Hornet typing on something, "Hey, whatcha doin'?"
Hornet was surprised that Tarantula was behind him, and quickly turned to her, "Uh, nothing!" he turned his helmet off quickly, and grinned nervously at her.
Tarantula lifted a brown, and guessed, "Are you... applying for an online blind date?" Before Hornet shut his helmet off a second ago, she caught a glimpse of what Hornet was researching about.
"No!" Hornet lied as he tried to cover up his secret activity, but Tarantula made a non-resisting smile that convinced him to tell her. Hornet sighed in defeat as he turned his helmet on to proceed with his business, "Yes."
"Then it's good for you! You never have anyone since... me," Tarantula mentioned awkwardly.
Hornet nodded as he didn't want to remember what happened between him and Tarantula, but he changed the topic as he said, "Well, things can be a bit boring, so I wanna try something else for once."
In truthHornet was looking for a date becauseas things got a little awkward between him and Piranha. It happened since the Gala of Goodness last year. He suddenly developed feelings for Piranha, his best friend. And he carried and hid these feelings for a while, even in prison. He even denied it in front of his friends. "I think it's time to put himself into the friendzone with Piranha. This has gotta stop! Just to save their friendship."
"You know, if you want a date, you should have a fake name, fake biography... and a fake species," Tarantula suggested," I know people weren't scared of us anymore, but that's what online dates do. And besides, this is your first time having online dating. You can't reveal yourself online all of a sudden. This is just baby steps."
Hornet was suddenly impressed that his ex-girlfriend knew about online dating, even though he was the one to be online all the time. He then turned to her as he was interested in her advice, "How can I do that?"
"Here. I'll help you."
When Tarantula grabbed Hornet's keyboard, Hornet followed him into her room.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile, Wolf came out from the elevator with a box in his paws. He opened the box, and revealed it to be a medium-sized gun, featuring a green glow.
"Oooh, this is gonna be good!" Wolf laughed as he was excited to use it someday.
Then, Snake slithered from his room when he noticed Wolf holding a gun green gun, "Watcha' got there, Wolf?"
"Oh, Diane lend me one of her weapons. Can't believe this is the first thing she gave us when we started our vigilante business." Wolf explained, "It's the WCFI XI Green Energy Gun."
"Oooh, one of Crimson Paw's coolest gadgets. I always wanted one of these," Snake came closer, wanted to hold it.
But Wolf yanked the gun away from Snake before he could even poke it, "We just have to use it wisely, Snake. We don't want it to fall into the wrong hands."
"Yeah, yeah, I get it," Snake didn't want Wolf to continue his warning, "What if we can use that for our personal things?"
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know, maybe heating things up, even fried some food," Snake then moved towards the fridge, and took out a frozen hotdog, "Look, we could make a hotdog barbeque."
But Wolf still disapproved of this idea as he moved backward, still holding the gun, "Now, now, Snake, this weapon is not a toy. I think we should keep it up here until the time being."
"Oooh, so you're now my mom?"
"I'm just saying that since this is the first weapon Diane has ever giveus, we mustto put this to good use."
Wolf then put the gun on top of the highest shelhe couldto reach. He had to put that gun so no one would there to mind or touch it, not even Snake. After he put the gun on top of the shelf, Wolf walked back to the elevator to repair his car for the next heist. While he was gone, Snake looked at the partial view of the gun that was laying at the edge of the shelf. He smirked sinisterly while flickering his tongue out. Despite Wolf's warning, Snake still wanted that gun.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In her room, Tarantula typed on her computer to make Hornet his own account for online dating. Hornet was watching her reviewing her job.
"Hmm, Painkiller24. Sounds good to me," Hornet said.
"So, I'll leave the profile picture blank, and I have to make you a biography," Tarantula said while continuing to the next step Hornet watched her typing his fake biography.
"Wow, that's a good one," he smirked after reading it.
"And... submit!" Tarantula pressed enter as Hornet's account was completed, "Okay, so maybe this will take a while to find you a date, so just sit back, relax, and..." They heard a chime from the computer, and turned to see a notification. "Whoa! Looks like you got one!" The tarantula chuckled.
"Let's see that!" Hornet moved the mouse, and clicked on the notification to see who had chosen him. He read the username in the notification, "BigEater30?! Hmm, nice username."
Tarantula clicked the username to open its profile page, "Well, there was no specific gender, and the biography is good. Looks like you got a date!" She then turned to Hornet while opening the chat box for him, "Here, chat with them!"
Hornet was a little nervous at first as he wasn't sure if this is a good idea, "Umm... what should I say?"
"Just say something like you were talking to me," Tarantula smiled as she stepped aside, and let Hornet take control of the keyboard.
When Hornet moved over, he gulped nervously, and started typing while speaking, "'Hello. I know we just met here online, but would it be great to meet you in person?',"
When Hornet sent the message, it replied after a few seconds, and he read it, "They said yes!" he felt so relieved that he finally found someone to date, and it was not his best friend, Piranha. One of these days, these feelings will be gone.
"Wow! Everyone believes in love at first online meet!" Tarantula laughed proudly.
Hornet went back to typing on the keyboard, "'Where would we meet?'!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Later, when Hornet left Tarantula's room, Hornet flew dreamily as Piranha, who was sitting on a chair, noticed him. "Hey, Hornet, little buddy, you look happy," he said.
"Oh, I just... Oooh, I can't keep a secret from you! I got a date!" Hornet squealed.
Piranha gasped. He was devastated inside. Hornet, his best friend, his crush, got a date? Wow, that was fast... but it's for the best anyway. Piranha didn't want to make things awkward between him and Hornet after their 4 years of friendship. He pretended to be happy for him, "No way! Really?!"
"Yep! They said they're gonna meet me on this street!" the hornet showed a paper where the address was written.
Piranha's eyes widened surprisingly, "Whoa! You gotta be kidding me! I have to meet my date in that same street too!"
"Wait, what? Really?" Now that's a shocker. Hornet would date someone else to get away from his so-called crush, but then, he has a date as well, and Hornet couldn't escape from it while his date is coming.
"Yeah, I met them on an online date."
"Wow! That means both of us are gonna have a blind date tonight! Maybe we can make it a double date!" Hornet was too nervous to think. Why did he invite Piranha for a double date?!
"Sounds good to me. Though, I'm a little bit... afraid," Piranha admitted. He wasn't afraid only because he has a new date, he was afraid because he might screw up because his crush, his best friend, will be with him the whole date night.
Hornet rolled his eyes, and tried to show support, "Pfft, knowing you, you were never afraid, you always lose your temper. What are you afraid of?"
"I'm afraid that what if my date doesn't like me because... you know," the piranha reminded his reputation as one of the Bad Guys. This was a good excuse to keep his feelings for Hornet a secret.
Hornet nodded as he agreed to the point. Then, he got an idea, "Hmm, you know what you need? A wingman. I can come with you." Darn it! Here we go again! What does Hornet have to be a good guy of the Bad Guys? Hornet then understood this must be one of the reasons his family abandoned him in the first place.
Piranha suddenly blushed as he couldn't see his date with Hornet closer to him. He'll go blush on Hornet, not his date, "Oh, no. I don't want to interrupt your date, I can ask Shark. Besides, he used to hit on the ladies."
Hornet rolled his eyes, but felt relieved that he was able to get away from this without doing anything to make an excuse, Oh well, I'll just see you there with your date and your wingman."
"What about you? Who's your wingman?" Piranha asked.
Hornet's arms dropped as he realized he didn't have a wingman, "I don't have one."
"Well, you better have one, Hornet," Piranha said, "Besides, you also have the same reputation as the rest of us. I don't think you'll be able to pull this off." In this way, Hornet's wingman might get him and his date away from Piranha and his date.
Hornet looked down, and realized Piranha was right. Meeting his new date alone would be a problem because of his reputation. He needed someone to support him, and he knew who it would be, "You're right. I do need someone. Thanks, Piranha," He quickly flew away
"No problem..., buddy," Piranha answered. He had to sound supportive of his best friend. Sure, Piranha was bumped out Hornet found a new date, but he was doing the same thing, and it was one way to move on from his feelings for Hornet.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In her room where Tarantula was busy on her computer, Hornet came in, and closed the door behind him.
"Hey, Webs," Hope he didn't interrupt her.
"Hey, Hornet, what's up?" Tarantula put her computer to sleep as she turned to the insect.
Hornet was too nervous to ask his ex-girlfriend for help, but he calmed down, and asked, "Uh, I wanted to ask you... since you help me with my date, I still need your help," he confessed, "Would you be my wingman... or winggirl for tonight?"
Tarantula was surprised by this, "Oh, me? Why can't you ask Wolf or Snake or Piranha or Shark?"
"Piranha also has a date, and he got Shark as his wingman, and Wolf and Snake were too busy, so you're my only choice left," Hornet said.
"Well, I have nothing to do tonight, so... sure, I can be your winggirl," Tarantula said.
Hornet beamed as he flew towards Tarantula and threw his arms around her, "Thanks, Webs! You're the best!" Tarantula hugged him back. But, they quickly released before feeling awkward about the hug, "Umm, I hope this doesn't change anything between us," he said.
"No, not at all. I'm happy to help a friend," Tarantula reassured him as Hornet smiled back at her before flying out of the room. When Hornet was gone, Tarantula just shook her head while chuckling, "Oh, Hornet, you're hopeless without me sometimes."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At night, it's Snake's chance to get that gun when no one is looking. He had to get that gun to barbeque his hotdog. He stretched his tail all the way up to the gun until...
"Hey Snake," Snake was startled when he heard Piranha's voice as he and Shark, who were wearing their formal tuxedoes, "What are you up to?" Piranha asked.
"Nothing! What do you think I was doing?!" Snake yelled while eyeing Shark and Piranha, who both walked towards the elevator.
"You don't have to be mad about it," Shark rolled his eyes before the elevator door closed.
"I'm not mad!" Snake yelled. When the coast was clear, Snake proceeded to slither his tail all the way up to the shelf to get the gun, but then, he heard another voice behind him.
"Hi, Snake!" Hornet greeted him as Snake stood still casually while staring at him and Tarantula, "How's it going?"
Snake groaned, "Ugh! Hornet, what's with the third degree? It's none of your business how it's going!"
"Why are you so mad?" Tarantula asked.
"I'm not mad!" Snake yelled.
"Okay..." Hornet murmured as he and Tarantula went to the elevator to leave Snake alone.
When Tarantula and Hornet left, it was Snake's chance to get the weapon. He slithered his tail all the way up, and grabbed the handle of the gun. Finally, he got it!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Later, Wolf came out of his room and, called out to his best friend, "Snake, have you seen the others? I haven't seen them all day," But then, much to his horror, he saw Snake using the gun to cook his frozen hotdog. The green laser came out from its point to cook the frozen food, "Snake, what are you doing with that weapon?"
"What? Making it useful," Snake just finished cooking the hotdog.
"But that's not how we're going to use it!" Wolf yelled while marching toward Snake
"At least it was used," Snake pointed while still holding the gun
"That's it! Give me that!" Wolf grabbed the gun, and tried to snatch it away from Snake.
"Hey, hands off!" Snake hissed as he kept his grip on the gun.
The two started a tug-o-war with the gun, but their hand/tail accidentally turned the power level of the gun, and pulled the trigger, causing the gun to fire green lasers around the place, vaporizing small objects in place.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Outside the Bad Guys' hideout, at the bridge where Hornet had to meet with his date, Tarantula fixed up Hornet's bow tie.
"Okay, I think that's done," she said.
"Too bad Piranha and Shark won't be with us. They will be coming here too, and we should have gone out together," Hornet smiled as he fixed his helmet.
"You know Piranha, he would be so mad if not everything is perfect," Tarantula reminded.
While waiting for his date, Hornet used that chance to talk about his feeling for Tarantula, "You know, Webs, I know the two of us didn't work out, but I'm happy you're still a good friend to me."
Tarantula looked back at Hornet with an appreciating smile, "Of course. You boys are my family, and I don't care if I'm the only girl. I just want a group of animals I can depend on, and who can depend on me, and that's you guys, even you, Hornet. Ever since we met, I haven't thought of anything about you other than being a friend. And I'm glad you're my friend. No, not a friend, but a little brother."
Hornet nodded, "Me too, Webs. You're like a big sister to me, and no matter what happened between us, you're sticking around for me, and I appreciated that."
Tarantula and Hornet shared a hug before breaking away. Hornet then pushed the button to put the lens on.
"Do you have to put your helmet on?" Tarantula pointed.
"Just in case my date was too afraid of me," Hornet explained while blushing shyly.
Just then, Tarantula felt someone coming with her setae as she guessed, "Oh, that must be your date!"
"Yes!" Hornet exclaimed excitedly as he turned, "Fun-loving BigEater30?" He pushed the button for his lens to see clearly.
"Hola, Painkiller2-" His date spoke until it was revealed to be Piranha with Shark as his wingman. Piranha shouted in shock when he saw Hornet, and realized he is his date, "HOOORRRRNEEEEEEEEEETT!"
"PIRANHAAA!" Hornet screamed in horror when he realized Piranha is his date.
"Uh-oh," Shark squeaked.
"Oh no," Tarantula facepalmed.
Here it goes again. Another awkward moment between them. Both Piranha and Hornet tried to date other people to get away from their feelings for each other, but instead, they were dating each other! Their online dates were each other! So much for trying to get away from each other, but Piranha and Hornet couldn't escape from their feelings for one another, even if trying to avoid them.
Just then, a green flash of just hit the bridge where the four Bad Guys were standing, and the bridge disintegrated into dust, causing the four to fall down.
Luckily, Shark landed on his feet safely, "Yes!" But he forgot that his three other friends fell down towards him as Piranha was the first one to crash onto Shark, then Tarantula, and lastly, Hornet.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Back at the hideout, Wolf and Snake continued to fight for the gun, causing them to accidentally made a mess around the place, vaporizing small objects, and leaving explosive specks of dust on walls and floors. But the moment the gun pointed downwards, the laser shot under them, causing Wolf and Snake to jump in surprise, and dropped the gun in the process.
Wolf and Snake fell on the floor, and both panted tiredly from their fight. It took a few moments to catch their breath, and noticed the mess they made. They then looked at each other while panting. They saw the looks they made, and realized they were fighting against each other all for that stupid gun, and almost got themselves or each other killed. That was far worse than their fight at prison last year.
"What are we doing?" Snake whispered as soon as he got up.
"Yeah, what are we doing?" Wolf repeated in guilt, approaching Snake and picking up the gun.
"Maybe we're taking this a little too far," Snake admitted while looking around their almost destroyed hideout, then down at the gun
"Yeah... and maybe we can just keep the weapon until it's the right time to use it," Wolf said.
"Agreed."
But first, let's put things back where they used too," Wolf suggested as he reversed the optional knob of the gun, and he shot at all the disintegrated objects, returning them back to normal. Even the bridge outside when both Wolf and Snake noticed the bridge was gone after their fight.
After everything was fixed, Wolf and Snake joined together to put the weapon inside a glass box, and Wolf put it up on the top of the shelf. He even pushed it further so no one would see it to attempt to steal it.
When that part was over, Wolf and Snake looked at the mess one more time. All of the disintegrated objects were back to normal, but there are other stuff, which wasn't affected by the gun, scattered all over the floor, even broken pieces of fragile objects.
Snake asked, "So, what are we going to do now?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Minutes later, Wolf and Snake didn't bother to clean up. All they did was watch TV. To their surprise, the elevator made a sound, "Ding!"
When Shark, Piranha, Tarantula, and Hornet came out of the elevator with embarrassed faces, they found their hideout was a mess, and Wolf and Snake were watching TV on the couch.
"Uh, guys, what's with the mess?" Tarantula asked the two.
Wolf sniffed before asking, "Why do Piranha and Hornet smell like sweat and shame?"
The four cringed in awkwardness as they couldn't explain what happened.
"Uh, Well... You see, um..." Piranha stammered.
"We, uh..." But Hornet couldn't hold it as he confessed without a specific explanation to avoid the awkwardness and embarrassment between him and Piranha, "You know what? I don't care. I met my date tonight, and I am pretty darn proud of myself!"
Piranha smiled as he followed Hornet's method, "You're right, bud. I met my date tonight. My date is so little, and I think maybe he'll... I mean, she'll call me tomorrow."
"You may be disappointed," Hornet deadpanned as his best friend rolled his eyes.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Credits:
Sam Rockwell - Mr. Wolf
Marc Maron - Mr. Snake
Craig Robinson - Mr. Shark
Anthony Ramos - Mr. Piranha
Awkwafina - Ms. Tarantula
Rhenzy Feliz - Mr. Hornet
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author
I.M. Rally
Co-Author
TU4QU0I53T4IAN6L3
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So you're a tough guy
Like it really rough guy
Just can't get enough guy
Chest always so puffed guy
I'm that bad type
Make your mama sad type
Make your girlfriend mad tight
Might seduce your dad type
I'm the bad guy
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When Wolf teasing Piranha and Hornet as a couple is a reference from Hannah Montana: Get Your Gum.
Piranha and Hornet's surprise date scene was a reference to Kid vs Kat: Something About Fiona.
When Piranha, Shar, Tarantula, and Hornet asking Snake what he was doing and why he was mad after asking the first question was a reference to The Loud House: Tea Tale Heart.
The last scene of the chapter was a reference to Family Guy: Halloween On Spooner Street.
Note: The reason Hornet didn't fly when the bridge got vaporized and Piranha, Tarantula, and Shark fell was because Tarantula was holding his leg, pulling him down with them and preventing him to fly.
Special thanks to TU4QU0I53T4IAN6L3 for helping me name the new weapon Diane gave away to Wolf.
This is the first chapter focused on Piranha and Hornet's relationship, so... there will be more to come about in future chapters.