Ask: YAY ok may I please get a Copia fic with an Insecure S/O who believes Copia is simply dating them out of pity and intends to break up with them (which they think they deserve) ending with cuddling and the first "I love you"?
Answer:
"Oh please, it doesn't even matter." Copia huffed loudly as you followed him around the dark church halls, looking for something, you didn't know what, that his suitcase was desperately missing. Another work trip, another single ticket. Another night spent running around the church because your love would lose his head if it wasn't screwed on so tight. Maybe he did lose his heart somewhere, though.
"Oh. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter." You didn't want to get upset, he just picked the very wrong thing to stay. When you stopped and threw your arms up, Copia sighed so loud and turned to face you. "If you could have told me that an hour ago, maybe I wouldn't have gotten upset. Or a day ago. Or seven months ago. Then we wouldn't be in this mess at all." It was his turn to chase you through the halls. You weren't sure where you were going but you didn't want to fight in front of everyone or at least where people could walk passed, again. "You're right, it doesn't matter! My concerns never matter, because you don't actually care."
"Papa I just have a few things that require your- never mind. I will find you later." Aether ghoul saw the look on your face and new better than to interrupt. Great. So now people know we're fighting. And everyone is gonna say I'm crazy again. You wished you had a better relationship with everyone in the clergy, with the ghouls, and all Copia's other friends and coworkers and family. But you were the odd one out, without a job to do, so keeping out of the way was the best way to contribute.
"Nonsense, please." The man you'd been seeing for the better or worse part of a year waved the ghoul over and you never grit your teeth hard enough to concern the dentist before but you were considering making a call for an appointment. While he so obviously ignored you. Because it doesn't matter. I don't matter. You stood and crossed your arms so tight you might need a cardiologist too and watched as Aether sifted through the papers in his arms looking for the right one. He didn't even look up at you. You considered running off, locking him out of the bedroom, or going to your sister's house, or even just into the garden to freeze the anger off. You knew you shouldn't have been pushing it, but thought then maybe if you did, the truth would finally be out. This is why the truth has to come out. This conversation is the exact reason for itself. Aether turned and bent over so Copia could you use his back as a writing desk while he signed a few different sheets.
"Thank you, Papa. I'll say goodnight." He bowed his head and scampered off.
"We can't even have a fucking conversation these days."
"Forgive me I have work to attend to. And this isn't a conversation. You're trying to fight with me. Why are you trying to fight with me?" it wasn't always what Copia said that was the problem, but the way he said it. Everything was a plea or a push. Maybe if we get out to the garden we'll at least be alone. You turned and started on your heel again.
"It doesn't matter." You threw open the heavy wooden door and stomped onto the stones outside. The cool breeze blew your hair in front of your face, and the ground was cold through your shoes, and you had this hangnail that just wouldn't go away no matter what you did or how much you picked - as if that ever helped - and things could not have been worse.
"What are you talking about?" You lead him away from the church until you could only see by the short lights pegged in the ground and sat on one of the colder stone benches.
"It doesn't matter. You say that all the time. It doesn't matter. You don't even care, so it doesn't matter. Why are we doing this then?"
"Exactly! Doing what?" Even if you wanted him to get angry, just to prove something to yourself, his calm confusion, you called it flippant, proved something entirely different and worse. "What doesn't matter?"
"Me!" You couldn't cry, you luckily spent all your tears before he even got home from his meeting. All those stupid meetings. For months, just for some lousy trip. Every odd day was a meeting, and he never bored you with the details and you were never even allowed to wait in the car, and you were beginning to wonder if all the work he was doing had a name. You hoped she was nice, at least. Nicer than you. "I don't matter to you! Why are we doing this as in why are you still leading me on? All these meetings, and trips, and work, and the only time you have for me seems to be when you want your dick sucked and she's busy, and you never say you lo-"
"That's not true at all- who's she? What are you talking about?" And then you got really close to crying because hearing him get near admitting any of it hurt a lot worse than you thinking it, obsessing over it, aching over it every second of the day whether he was around or not. At some point you convinced yourself he only asked you to move in because it was cheaper than paying a live in whore and maid at the same time. All those damn socks on the floor. You crossed your arms and look away into the trees. All the way out there so far from the city, it was so dark you couldn't see your own feet below you without a flashlight, and couldn't see more than two feet in front of the lights surrounding you. You hoped he couldn't see your face either, or that you were picking on the loose string on your sleeve of the shirt he just bought you. "You think I'm cheating on you?" When he laughed like you were ridiculous you no longer wanted to cry, but scream so loud you could wake anyone in the clergy and anything that lurked in the shadows behind you. "Why on Satan's Earth would you ever think that?" The stone bench beneath you was scratchy on the skin on the backs of your thighs where you shorts didn't quite cover enough to stop the cold, rubbing while you shifted nervously.
"You're never home and- if you didn't know how to do it you can just do it now, and I'll pack my stuff. I guess I can wake up my sister to come get me by morning and we'll-" You couldn't see through the desperate burning tears in your eyes but you felt Copia's arms around you, pulling you into his warmth. You only resisted for a second.
"You're so silly, my darling. I don't want anybody but you. I don't know how you could think that. I'm sorry I've been busy with business, truly, but it's just business. I would never cheat on you. My baby. I love you. I do. And I'm sorry it took me so long to say it back."
"Well why didn't you?" He sighed and kissed the top of your head.
"Because I was scared. I've never told anyone before. But listen." He tilted your head up with a finger on your chin, faces so close you could kiss him if you only pushed your lips out. So close your eyes couldn't focus properly. "I do love you so much, it's agony away from you and I spend every second of the day praying when I get home you're still here." You wished his confession made things better. Instantly erased all the bad feelings and every bad thing you thought about him for most of the time you were together. But you only moved in in hopes things might get better, that you might be able to spend anymore time together, you might feel less alone, and fear like that doesn't just go away with a few words. But it was really good start.
"You thought I was going to leave you?" He sighed and pulled your head to his chest again. Even after long days of work and errands and emotional torment, his cologne was so soaked into his clothes you could still smell it cleanly. A warm, caressing scent you couldn't quite put your finger on. It was a strange sort of comforting like peroxide on a scraped knee - even if it hurt you knew it wouldn't get worse, because the infection was killed - to know he was having the same fears as you.
"Yes, topolino. I know I'm not here as much as I should be, don't say the right things when they need to be said, don't really know what I'm doing with you a lot of the time. But I know that I love you so much, you and my work as Papa are the only things that matter to me, and I don't know what I would do without you. Even those nights I'm so busy it's a comfort to know you're around just down the hall." When you finally calmed down all the anger died down and you melted into him. "It's freezing. Why don't we go inside?