Mitchell's POV
I patiently sat in the driver's seat and watched Mila struggle to put on her seatbelt. Her sleek, straight hair fell over her shoulders and hid most of her face. She cursed in Spanish multiple times for failing to buckle the seatbelt.
"Let me he-"
"No," Mila spat. "I don't need you. I can help myself."
I guess I deserve that, but it still ouch.
As I'd done for about a month now, I worked until late and was the last to leave the office. I'd drowned myself with work, so I didn't have to think and it somewhat worked. However, just as I entered the unground parking lot, I got a phone call from Paula, my secretary, who told me she saw Mila at a bar, and she didn't look very good.
I didn't ask for any details, I heard Mila's name with the words not good and immediately asked for an address. Thereafter, it wasn't hard to find Mila, she quite literally stood out and drew attention to herself by standing on the bar. She appeared completely wasted and before she embarrassed herself, I needed to stop her.
After much convincing, Mila was in my car and agreed to let me take her home. I'd seen Mila drunk a good couple of times but not like this. It wasn't just her being drunk but she looked void of any life. It hurt to see her so... broken and I knew I played a huge role in her grief.
"Joder!" She exasperatedly let go of the seatbelt, sat back against the seat, and blew a strand of hair out of her face. "¡Me rindo!"
"Can I help now?"
Mila snapped her head in my direction and narrowed her eyes. I noticed the subtle mascara stains underneath her eyes and how puffy her eyes were which told me she was crying. "I trust your driving skills so I'll do without a seatbelt."
"I won't start this car until you wear it."
Mila shrugged. "Fine, I have no problem walking until I get a cab."
If there's anyone who can test my patience...
Mila was about to open the door, but I quickly reached over and grabbed her. She looked at me offended and then glanced at my hold on her forearm. I stared into her wide, bloodshot eyes and it took everything in me not to kiss away her woes.
"Must you always be so stubborn?"
"Must we argue about everything?"
"Who started this stupid argument?"
"You," Mila replied flatly.
I didn't want to argue anymore. "May I please put on your seatbelt? It's illegal not to wear one."
Mila huffed and pulled a face. "Fine. But only because it's required by the law."
I was relieved and felt our proximity as I drew the belt over her. I paused for a second and our eyes locked. Mila's lips parted and her breath softly hitched. I gulped and had the strongest urge to reach out and touch her.
"I know I'm pretty, but I'd appreciate it if you'd stop staring," Mila's smartass mouth broke the moment.
It felt nice to see a part of her Mila-ness still in there. I cleared my throat to prevent myself from laughing and put on her seatbelt. I stared at her once more for a millisecond and before she called me out again, I pulled back and started the car.
As I drove, I kept glancing at her every chance I got. I didn't know if it was instinctive, but she sat at the edge of her seat, as far away from me as possible, and stared out the window. She hugged herself and caressed her arms.
"You're very quiet," I broke the silence. "It's rare that you aren't finding ways to get on my nerves."
Mila took a deep breath and half shrugged. "I have nothing to say."
I hate seeing her like this so fucking much.
"Shall I put on music?"
She still didn't look my way and shrugged again. "Whatever you want."
My fingers tightened around the steering wheel. I wanted to stop the car and shake the old Mila back into her. I played a huge role in her sadness, but I didn't think her state would've been that bad.
I eventually put on the radio but kept the volume low. I couldn't even hear the music because my mind was preoccupied with Mila. She still smelled like her, sounded like her, looked like her but the essence of Mila that I loved so damn much wasn't there. The spark she possessed that ignited everyone and everything around had dimmed or worse, died out.
"Are you cold?" I didn't wait for a reply and turned up the heat and switched on the seat warmer. "I have a jacket in the backseat if you want."
"I'm okay."
Mila hugged herself tighter and shifted her leg upward. My eyes automatically dropped down and I had no intention of telling her not to put her shoe on the seat. She glanced at me, and our eyes locked before she dropped her leg and rolled her eyes.
"Freaking mechaphilia," she whispered under her breath.
"I swear I wasn't going to say anything."
"You didn't have to," Mila retorted. "Your eyes were loud enough."
I looked between her and the road in front and was glad to see she still wore the diamond pendant I got her just after the accident. Light bounced off the diamond from outside and after she packed everything I gifted her in a box and sent it over, it was solacing that she still wore the pendant.
"I'm waiting for the day he breaks up with his stupid cars," Mila muttered under her breath as she shuffled in her seat.
Her words pinched a nerve and I felt guilty. If only she knew that breaking up with her was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. But it needed to be done for her sake more than mine.
"Are you stalking me?" Mila spontaneously asked after a long moment of silence.
"Pardon?"
She narrowed her eyes. "How did you know where I was tonight?"
"Paula saw you and told me about... the little show you were about to put on."
"I see," she mused. "So, like some knight in shining armor, you decided to ride on your high horse and come and rescue me."
"It's not like that. Paula said it looked like you needed –"
"You?" Mila cut me off. "I guess just like you, Paula didn't get the memo. I don't need you or anyone for that matter."
I understood her anger toward me and knew I deserved it but the last thing I wanted was for her to take ten steps back from the progress she'd made.
"Having someone take care of you when you're not at your best doesn't make you needy of them. It's okay to have a support system."
Mila fell silent and I glanced to check on her. She clenched her jaw and curled her hands into fists. I knew her enough to understand she was angry and I was the reason... again.
"Mil-"
"Shut up," Mila snapped. "Please don't say anything or I will get out of this damn car right now."
Her threat didn't sit well with me and I was ready to fight her but she was drunk and not in the best of states. As mom repeatedly advised me over the last couple of weeks, I needed to be patient and keep calm. I took a deep breath and silently drove.
Once we reached, Mila hastily undid her seatbelt and unlocked the doors. She got out of the car before I comprehended our surroundings.
"Mila," I rushed after her. I gripped her arm before she stumbled over her own feet. "Slow down, you're going to hurt yourself."
She squirmed in my hold, but I refused to let go. "I'm fine. Thanks for the ride but don't make it a habit."
"Are you going to fight me on this too?"
"I'm not fighting you on anything." She tried to pull my hand off finger by finger. "I'm tired and want to go to bed but you're not letting go."
"Let me take you upstairs and then I'll leave."
She glared. "It doesn't work that way anymore. You said we're over, remember? You can't take me upstairs or whatever."
My patience slipped by the minute. "This isn't about being together or not. It's humanly courteous to make sure you get home safe."
Anger flashed in her eyes, and she managed to push my hand off. "Take your human courtesy and shove it up your tiny little dick hole!" Mila shoved past me and stumbled toward the elevator.
I took quick strides and caught up to her. Just as she was about to press for the elevator, I beat her to it and held her arm. She saw red and opened her mouth to probably shout as many profanities as she knew but I put up a finger and shut her up.
"I can be just as stubborn as you."
"I don't want your help!"
"Too bad, you're getting it whether you like it or not."
"Tonto del culo," Mila muttered under her breath, among other Spanish words I didn't catch as we stood in the elevator.
"You can let go of me now," Mila insisted and twisted her arm.
I supposed I was so used to holding and touching her, I hadn't realized I still held her arm. I stared into her big blue eyes that I loved so much. "I'm still me. You don't have to resist that much. I'm only trying to help."
Mila looked at me squarely. "Yes, you're still you, I'm still me but we are no longer us." Stunned and hurt by her words, my grip loosened, and she slipped away.
Silence lingered between us for a long moment until I noticed how restless Mila suddenly got. She rubbed over her forehead, gulped, and licked her lips multiple times. I grew a little concerned as she looked more and more uneasy.
"Oye!" She looked up and exclaimed. "¿Cuánto tiempo más?"
"What's wrong?"
"Why is this damn thing taking so long?"
"I know you want to get rid of me but calm down. Are you alright?"
Mila took a breath and looked a little pale. She shook her head. "I don't think so."
Worried, I stepped closer and gently held her face. I combed hair that seemed to bother her out of her face and made her look up. "What's wrong?"
Mila barely looked at me and shook her head. "I wouldn't stand so close if I were you."
I didn't understand what she meant. "Stop talking in riddles and tell me stra..." I trailed off and it hit me. Mila looked like she was about to be sick.
I stilled and instinctively pulled back thanks to... past events. I realized I was insensitive and took a small step forward. "When last did you eat?"
She shrugged and combed her fingers through her hair. "I don't know. This morning... I think."
"Mila, you..." I was ready to yell at her for drinking on an empty stomach and neglecting her health but now wasn't the time.
"Don't yell," she mumbled and held onto her stomach. "I really don't feel good."
Shit, what do I do? I love her but I don't want her to vomit on me... again.
"Um," I raked my fingers through my hair and looked around the small space as if it would've helped. "Just hold it in, we'll be up in a few seconds."
"I'm trying." Mila swallowed and I knew that look, it traumatized me for a very long time. "But I don't know..." she trailed off and covered her mouth.
"Oh fuck." I found myself against the wall and on the verge of panicking.
Just as on cue, the elevator door opened, and Mila ran toward her front door. She dropped her bag on the way and panicked when she couldn't find it. One hand still covered her mouth and it felt as if I was with a ticking bomb.
I picked up her bag and rummaged through the stuff. "Do you ever empty this thing? Where are your keys?"
Mila glared at me and tried to grab the bag from my hand, but I found the keys in time. I hurriedly opened the door and Mila ran into the apartment as if her life depended on it. She beelined for the guest bathroom but didn't quite make it in time.
I felt sick when I nearly stepped on whatever vomit she spilled on the floor. I also grew angry because it was just bile which told me her stomach was empty. However, anger was quickly replaced with worry as I heard her empty her stomach in the bathroom.
I rolled up my sleeves, took in a breath, and entered the bathroom to see her bent over the toilet seat. Her hair was all over the place and she tried to move it but failed. I kneeled behind her, gathered her hair, and pulled it back with one hand while I caressed her back with the other.
"There, there, get it all out, you'll feel better."
There was a time I couldn't stand the mere sound of someone throwing up yet here I was for the second time in my life, holding back Mila's hair while she threw up. I felt a little queasy but was more concerned about her than anything else.
Once she was done, she flushed the toilet, stood and went to wash her hands, and rinsed her mouth. She sat on the floor against the wall, buried her face in her hands, and groaned. I stood with one hand in my pocket and watched her for a moment.
"Do you feel any better?"
"No," she groaned. "Is this what death feels like?"
"Come on Drama Queen." I stepped forward and offered her a hand. "Get up and I'll see what I can do to help you feel better."
"I'm not sleeping with you," she muttered with her face still buried in her hands.
If I didn't know her so well, I'd have been offended. "After what I just witnessed come out of your mouth, I wouldn't even kiss you."
She finally lifted her head and gave me a thumbs-up. "Thanks, I sure do love a compliment."
"Let's go, Milo, the floor is cold."
"Ugh." Mila lazily got up and wobbled a little, so I held her arm. She looked up at me with big doe eyes. "Thanks. You didn't have to see all of... this."
"It's okay. Besides you and I both know I've done a lot more than just see all of... this."
Mila scrunched her nose cutely. "I guess you owe me a thank you for not offloading in your mouth this time."
"Alright, let's get out of this bathroom before it's my turn to throw up."
Mila softly laughed and it sounded like music to my ears. It had been so long since I heard her laughter, and I missed it as much as I missed her. I couldn't suppress the smile that grew on my face as I stared at her.
"Seriously though, you didn't have to come in here. As I said I'm not your problem anymore."
Her words were enough to change the mood and drop my smile. "You were never a problem to begin with and I'm here because I want to be."
Mila's gaze softened for a second and just like that, her walls were back up again. She slipped her arm out of my hold and put some distance between us. She tucked her hair behind her ears, and I had to resist the urge to wipe away the smudged mascara from beneath her eyes. She stared at me for a long moment before she walked out of the bathroom.
I stood there for a moment and gathered myself. I did my best to play nonchalantly, but it killed me to see her like that. I wanted to hold her and tell her that everything would be okay. But I knew if I got carried away, it wouldn't have done any of us good.
I rubbed over my temples, huffed, and after a deep breath, left. Mila stared with disgust at the bile she spewed on the way to the bathroom.
"I need to clean that or –"
"Easy." She was about to walk past me, but I held her back. "Go freshen up and I'll take of that."
Mila looked shocked. "Do you know what a mop looks like?"
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "I'm not incompetent. Go on, take care of yourself, it's more important."
"You don't have to do this."
"Yeah, yeah I know." I dismissed her.
Mila nodded and smelled her hair. She pulled her face in disgust. "I think I need a shower."
"Are you sure you can do that given your... state?"
Mila rolled her eyes. "I'm not incompetent."
"I know but you are drunk and can barely walk straight. You haven't eaten all day either and just emptied your stomach, you're low on energy. I don't want you to injure yourself while showering."
"Then what do you propose? Because I refuse to go to bed smelling like regurgitated booze."
I half shrugged. "I could-"
"I'm not taking a shower with you." She ran her eyes over me. "No matter how hot you still are."
"I was not going to suggest that," I honestly spoke. "But I can run you a bath if you want."
Mila took a moment before she agreed. While she got a fresh set of pajamas, I filled the bathtub in her bedroom bathroom with warm water and added some bath salts. I searched for the essential oils I'd given her some time back and was glad she still had them. I put a few drops of chamomile and ylang-ylang to help her relax and get a good night's rest.
While Mila bathed, I cleaned up her mess. Once everything was clean and I washed my hands, I looked around the kitchen for something Mila could eat. Her fridge was basically empty, the girl who was once a little too obsessed with Pringles and Skittles didn't even have a snack in her pantry. I was annoyed and worried at how badly she neglected herself.
I thought about ordering something, but it was pretty late, and takeout wasn't the healthiest choice given how wasted she was. The bread was even stale and needed to be thrown out so I couldn't make her a sandwich. I finally found some instant noodles and it was something I was able to cook as well.
I carefully read the instructions at the back of the pack and used the precise amount of water to boil the noodles, so it came out perfectly. I poured her a glass of milk and grabbed a napkin before I headed toward her bedroom. I was about to walk in as normal but remembered she was in the bathroom, so I knocked to make sure she was appropriate.
"Come in."
"I got you something to..." I trailed off when I caught sight of Mila's bare back. She pulled the fluffy pajama top over her head and I didn't miss the drops of water that ran down her back from her wet hair.
I quickly turned around. "Uh, sorry. You said I could come in so I thought you were –"
Mila walked around and faced me. She looked a lot better than before. Her hair was wet and tucked behind her ears. Her face appeared brighter with hints of pink from the warm water. Her eyes were wide and sparking blue even in the dim lighting. Her lips, plump and pink, looked very inviting. She smelled amazing too and I had to control my thoughts and hormones. Or I was going to lose myself in her.
"Don't be dramatic," she nonchalantly spoke. "You've done a lot more than seen me naked."
"Right," I cleared my throat. "You need to eat something, and this is all I could find."
"I'm not hungry." Mila walked over to the bed and pulled open the covers. "I'm tired and would like to sleep. You can see yourself out."
She's so fucking stubborn!
"I didn't ask." I handed her the noodles and napkin and placed the milk on the bedside pedestal. "Eat."
"I said I'm not hungry," she said each word slowly and deliberately.
"You haven't eaten all day and I will not leave until you finish everything in that bowl." I sat across her and challenged her with my eyes. "I can wait all night if I have to."
"I'll just kick you out."
I leaned forward and leveled my eyes with hers. "Try it."
Mila stared at me through narrowed eyes, and I merely stared back. She was angry and annoyed but instead of intimidating, I found her adorable.
"Fine." She almost violently twirled the fork around her bowl. "But as soon as I'm done, you're leaving."
"Okay."
I imagined she thought she looked scary while she angrily ate. I wanted to smile but knew better or she'd toss the food aside to spite me. I couldn't keep my eyes off her even though I probably shouldn't have stared.
I admired her beauty but also hated how much weight she seemed to have lost in recent weeks. Her cheekbones protruded more than normal and the lower my eyes moved, I didn't miss how much more defined her collarbone appeared. She must've lost a good few pounds and I felt guilty about it. Mila couldn't eat when she was stressed and had bad anxiety and I knew I added tend fold to her problems by leaving.
Some strands of hair that had dried fell over her forehead and irritated her. She tried to move it with her right hand and nearly stabbed herself in the eye with the fork. I gently took it upon myself to tuck the strand away.
She stopped eating and with my fingers still in her hair, we stared at each other for what felt like forever. The scent of her shampoo and the soft strands of hair that ran through my fingers made me nostalgic. I knew she was annoyed at me, but I also put myself through hell by merely being so close to her.
Slowly, I trailed my fingertips down her face, over her cheek and the feel of her skin made my heart beat faster. I missed her more than anything. I craved to feel and see her every single day and it took every ounce of strength in me not to cave and reach out to her.
I moved closer and my eyes dropped to her full, rosy lips that parted. Her eyes were wide, and she gulped as I scooted so close that our legs touched. I cupped her cheek and caressed the corner of her mouth with the pad of my thumb.
Don't do it. Don't do it. Do not kiss her!
My brain yelled at me not to make another move but my racing heart and the need to be close to her clouded any logic. I gulped and licked my lips as I brought my face closer to hers. Her body heat radiated off me and her sweet scent drove me insane.
I brushed my lips over hers and it felt like the first time. My stomach lurched and I wanted to pull her onto my lap. However, just as I was about to close my eyes and properly kiss her, she put a hand on my chest and gently pushed me back.
"Don't," she whispered. Her eyes filled with unshed tears. "Don't play with my feelings. Don't feed me an illusion and break my already broken heart again when you walk out tonight."
Fucking asshole! What is wrong with me?
Regret and guilt filled me and seeing her so hurt broke my heart. I was overcome with emotions and didn't consider how she'd feel. I was wrong to have tried to kiss her when she was trying to heal.
"I'm sorry."
"Why are you here?" She softly asked. "I'm trying to forget you and everything we shared but seeing you again – having you here take care of me like this makes it impossible to get over you."
Forget and get over me? Ouch.
"I..." I couldn't find the right words. "It was wrong of me, I'm sorry."
"Yes, it was!" Mila snapped. "You walked out on me, and I respected your decision. I didn't try to contact you or show up at your doorstep. I silently watched you walk out the door and it's been hard, but I've been trying to pick up the pieces of my broken heart."
"Milo..."
"Don't do that," she tried her best to not cry but she couldn't fool me. "Don't look at me like that and for Gods sake stop calling me Milo!"
"That one word and seeing you look at me as if you still love me is killing me," her voice broke.
I composed myself and needed to be the strong one between us. "I know it hurts but you'll eventually understand why I did what I did."
"I don't know that but until then leave me alone, please," she virtually pleaded. "Being here, acting as if you still love me is selling me an illusion and I'm scared of what would happen when I wake up to reality tomorrow morning."
"It's not an act, I do still love y-"
"Don't," she warned. "Do not complete that sentence."
I understood and cursed myself for almost telling her I still loved her more than anyone and anything else in this world. Heck, she was my world, and life without her was worse than hell.
She put the bowl aside and wiped away the tears that managed to escape her eyes. "Thank you for all that you've done for me tonight but please go."
I was conflicted and my hand twitched to reach out to her but I kept it at my side. "I can't leave you like this."
"Why not?" Accusation filled her gaze. "You easily walked out the last time. You ended it with me and walked away without a second glance. Not once did you call or text to see if I'm okay. In a moment, you forgot all about me... about us."
I shook my head and swallowed the lump that grew in my throat. "That's not true."
"How did you do it, huh?" More tears rolled down her cheeks. "How did you so easily walk away... again? How did you break my heart, again? You said I was your world then how did you abandon your so-called world when she needed you the most?"
Her words stabbed me in the chest, but I needed to act strong and not let her see how much it affected me. If only she knew I spent sleepless nights and barely ate or functioned normally without her too.
"It wasn't easy," I muttered.
She humorlessly laughed. "Sure thing." Mila sniffed and wiped away her tears. "I can see how hard it is for you right now. I'm the one crying like a pathetic fool while you're just staring at me awkwardly."
"Did I ever mean anything to you?" She gripped my shirt and curled her fingers into fists. Her hurt and tear-strung eyes stared into mine. "How the hell are you fine while I feel like my world has fallen apart? Why are you okay and I'm not? Tell me!"
I'm not okay, Baby. I'm far from it.
I didn't respond because I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to be honest and have a moment because I knew I'd lose whatever restraint I'd kept thus far. I wasn't what Mila needed right now and I wished she saw that.
She let go of me and huffed. "I know I'm not innocent. I neglected you and our relationship but I was trying so hard Mitchell. I wish you tried a little harder."
My chest ached and the lump in my throat grew more as I watched her break in front of my eyes and there was nothing I could've done about it.
"I probably shouldn't compare but you fought harder in your first relationship. You moved mountains and were ready to leave behind your life for someone who truly neglected you. You loved her even when she tossed you aside like a piece of trash but you never gave up on her so why the fuck was it so easy to give up on me?"
Because I love you more than I've ever loved that other person. I love you enough to put your needs above my need of being with you. You will always be my priority even if it means breaking my own heart.
"I wasn't neglecting you on purpose. I didn't cheat or lie or play mind games. Life caught up to me and my best friend got sick. I was and still am so afraid that I'm going to lose him so I needed to be there for him like I wasn't for my mom or I'd never forgive myself."
"While being a good friend, I did my best to be a good girlfriend but you gave up so soon. I needed a little more time to balance my priorities but you walked away before I even took a step."
"Why, Mitch?" Mila's lip quivered and she choked on a sob. "Was your Milo worth so little? Tell me, did I mean so little to you that couldn't wait a little longer for me?"
"You were my home and safe place and now I feel so lost. I had so much to do that time was too little but now time won't pass and I'm lost in our memories," Mila cried. "I treasured memories and held onto them but now I just want them gone. I want to erase everything because every thought of you hurts. It fucking hurts and I want it to go away!"
She buried her face in her hands and sobbed. It killed me on the inside to see her like that. I curled my hands into a fist to stop myself from holding her and telling her how much I loved her.
"I want..." she muttered among other incoherent words between sobs. "I can't... why?"
I rapidly blinked and exhaled through my lips. I wanted to walk away but couldn't leave her like that. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath.
"Fuck it." I reached for her and pulled her into my arms.
She melted against me and gripped my shirt as if her life depended on it. She cried and I couldn't do anything but hold her tightly. There was so much I wanted to say but couldn't.
"Shh." I combed my fingers through her hair and did my best to keep myself composed.
"I miss you," she cried. "I miss us."
"Me too," I admitted and almost kissed the top of her head but stopped myself.
After a long while, Mila abruptly pulled away and wiped her eyes. She grabbed the glass of milk on the pedestal and took a large sip.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..."
"There's nothing to be sorry about," I softly said. "I understand how you feel but soon enough, I hope you'll see that I did this for you."
She rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Just go."
"You need to heal Mila and being with me will only get in the way. You've been through so much and still going through it, I'm just holding you back. Our relationship was the best thing that happened to me but it turned into nothing but a burden for you. You need to focus on yourself, and I can't believe I'm saying this but on Leo too."
"Me... Our relationship demanded a lot more than just time from you and eventually, you'd grow to resent me and us. I needed to let go of you so you could find your way. I was just holding you back."
She remained silent and I wished I knew what went through her mind. Her brows knitted together, and she looked at me angrily. "Fuck you."
Caught off guard, I was stunned into silence m. Even though I deserved her curses.
"Don't give me that shit about leaving for my sake." Mila kept the half-full glass of milk aside and ran her hands through her damp hair. "You and Leo are more alike than you believe. He loved me but left because he believed it was the best thing for me at that time. He thought he did a great thing by ghosting me for years, but he didn't realize that he left when I needed him at my side."
I froze and didn't know what to make of her words. The only thing that stood out was that she said Leo loved her. She always denied it and it was the first time I heard her accept what everyone, but Mila knew.
"Leo loved you?"
"Loves," she replied. "You and everyone else were right. He's been in love with me for years but kept it to himself because he felt it was the right thing to do. Anyway, he confessed on Thanksgiving and has been avoiding me since."
"I... um..." I stuttered. I stared directly into her eyes. "How does his confession make you feel?"
Mila stared at me for what felt like hours. I grew anxious and wanted to hear that she felt indifferent. I might've been selfish, but I was not ready to hear that she might've had feelings for her best friend. Sure, I knew she was somewhat jealous of Katie's friendship with Leo, but I assumed it was her fear of being replaced.
"How does it matter anymore?" She spoke softly. "My point is, why can't you, Leo, and my dad let me decide what's good for me? Why must you make decisions on my behalf? What gives you the right to make decisions about my life? I am not a damn child who needs to be spoon-fed."
I wanted to push for an answer, but she cried enough for one night, and deep down, I was afraid to hear her answer. Her questions thereafter were valid but no matter how much she denied it, she needed to be on her own. Still being in her life wouldn't have helped either of us.
"You're right." I hesitated but eventually placed my hand on hers. "You should get some rest. I'll see myself out."
"You're leaving?"
I nodded. "But not forever. I made a mistake by walking out and not looking back. I was there for you in the past even when we weren't in a relationship. I don't see why that should change. If you ever need me, I'm just a call away."
"But?"
"But you need to heal, Mila. I wish you'd talk to someone and get all the feelings you've built up since a little girl out. I need you to love and care for yourself first before anyone else. All these doubts you keep having come from within and it needs to be fixed." I caressed her knuckles. "You're strong, one of the strongest people I know. I just need you to remember that."
Her eyes pooled with tears again. "This feels like another goodbye."
"I never said goodbye to you, not before and I won't start now," I earnestly said. "There can never be a goodbye between us. I would never have the strength to say those words to you and if I ever do, it will be with my last breath."
"Mitch..."
"Shh," I pulled the covers over her. "You had a long day, get some rest."
She nodded and got into bed. Her hair sprawled over the pillow as she got comfortable. "Please turn off the light on your way out."
I was about to leave but remembered something. I reached for my wallet in my pocket and pulled out the charm bracelet I got her. Mila watched me curiously and I saw many emotions flood her eyes as she looked at the little piece of jewelry.
"I don't know what possessed you to return everything I got you, but I won't get mad about it right now." I took her hand and clasped the bracelet around her delicate wrist. "This is yours and always will be. I don't want to hear any protests or excuses, it was a gift after all."
I twirled the bracelet around and found the little snowflake pendant I recently added. "This is a new one for our trip to Aspen. Dancing with you in the snow is one of the happiest moments in my life."
She was on the verge of crying again so I let go of her hand and tucked her in. I hesitated at first but leaned over and gently kissed her forehead. "Goodnight, Mila."
I stood and made my way to the door. I turned off the light and just as I was about to leave, she called my name.
"If I'm keeping the bracelet, you should take back the promise ring, it was a gift after all."
I smiled at her taunt. "I'll take it back when the time is right. Until then, keep it safe for me."
I gently shut the door behind me and leaned against it. The wall I kept my emotions behind broke and everything came flooding in. I ground my teeth and curled my hands into fists as the memory of her breaking down flashed in my mind. Every word she said echoed in my ears and my chest physically hurt.
My eyes blurred with unshed tears and my throat ached as I threw my head back and shut my eyes. My phone buzzed in my pocket, but I was not interested in talking to anyone at that moment.
How the fuck am I going to face another day without you, Milo?
A/N I have to ask, who's side are you guys on? I felt bad for both of them while writing this.
Let me know your thoughts,
Till then,
Tina