Thanks to the lack of arguments last night, most of us managed to have a decent sleep. I wake up and look around the room, seeing most people have gotten up and are getting ready or already have been out in the kitchen. I make the bed and quickly get ready, only taking about 10 minutes because thankfully my hair still looks nice from last night.
"Morning, Papa Al," I smile as I see him wander back in the room, and I catch the annoyed look on his face. "You alright?"
"Perez is telling anyone who'll listen that he's apparently 90% sure he's gonna leave because he doesn't wanna stay in a house with someone who makes him scared, aka me," he grumbles, coming and giving me a hug.
"Good thing anyone in here with a brain, and anyone on the outside will see how much of a big teddy bear you are and how much of a textbook narcissist he is. He can't expect to goad everyone and not get a reaction in a house like this," I respond, and he nods against my head, kissing my temple and we head out into the kitchen.
"Morning guys!" I smile at Keith, Kav and Alicia who are in the kitchen making their breakfast.
All three give me hugs and kisses on the head/cheek, making me happy that Alicia can recognise that I'm not part of whatever issues she has with other people.
"How's everything this morning?" I ask quietly, sipping on my coffee.
"I've been blown out," Alicia sighs.
"Ain't that interesting?" Kav says, and I poke him.
"Don't get snarky, you. Be nice," I scold.
"Sorry Mum," he smiles at me.
"All I will say Alicia is sit back and observe, and remember this when they try to be buddy buddy again, because you can learn a lot by observing and listening, and you learn who your real friends are," I say kindly, and she nods with a smile.
"You saw that coming though, right babe?" Michelle asks, having come into the kitchen and giving me a cuddle.
"Yeah, still hurts though," she admits.
"I think I've missed something, what's happened?" Keith interjects, utterly confused, making me chuckle.
"With Pricey coming in, Perez and Nadia have left Alicia high and dry today, fawning over the sparkly new toy," I tell him, and he nods in understanding.
"Last night when we were sitting around, Kav said to Alicia not to be surprised if she's not spoken to in the morning, and unfortunately he wasn't wrong," Katie adds.
"Nothing wrong with being nice, you find wonderful people, but for the ones that aren't so lovely, it's a great way to learn by experience," Michelle tells her.
"I suppose so," Alicia agrees.
"It can be better in a way, the rose tinted glasses come off and light is shed that otherwise might not have been," I tell her. "Gotta look on the bright side of life."
"That's actually her business slogan," Michelle snickers.
"Mhm, I'm the posterchild," I wink back at her, and everyone around the kitchen laughs.
Calum comes in from the bathroom after his workout and I make him a coffee. He comes behind me, taking a sip before placing it back on the bench and wrapping his arms around me from behind, resting his head on my shoulder.
"Good morning wifey," he kisses my temple.
"Morning baby," I smile at him, turning to kiss him on the cheek.
"You guys are so cute, my heart can't take it!" Michelle exclaims dramatically, making us all laugh.
"Thank you for making us feel single," Kav and Alicia playfully glare.
"You're welcome," I grin, making everyone laugh again.
------
A bunch of us are sat around the sofas chatting. Currently, we're getting the full run down of Pricey's love life.
"You guys probably have seen, when I meet someone and start dating, I tend to move pretty quick," Pricey states.
"Nothing wrong with that, it works for some people. Love has no concept of time," I say.
"I do it too," Cami admits.
"So I met Alex, was married to him within about a year. Had only known Kieran about 5 weeks, got married and pregnant straight away," Pricey says, referring to one of her ex's and current partner.
"I got engaged to my husband after 3 weeks of knowing him," Michelle tells us.
"I don't blame you, Mark sounds like a dreamboat," I tell her, standing up and coming behind her to take her hair out of its towel and brush and style it.
"Hey, what about me?" Calum exclaims playfully.
"Don't worry baby, no one compares to you," I wink and blow him a kiss, and he pretends to catch it and slap it to his cheek, letting out a little 'ow' making us laugh.
"I wonder how Mark's gonna feel about suddenly having another daughter," Katie laughs.
"He and the girls will love her as much as I do!" Michelle smiles.
"I wouldn't change anything that happened though, it's made me who I am today. Except maybe Eurovision," Pricey laughs.
"Why would you regret that?! That's such a cool thing to be able to tell your kids," I ask her.
Looked and sounded shocking, didn't I? Couldn't sing it then and definitely can't now," she winces.
"But it would be an amazing memory to have, and having done it with Peter, the father of two of your kids," I point out.
"I guess you're right, I've never thought of it like that," she ponders.
"Mara does that a lot to people," Cal smiles.
A couple of the others wander off and I go sit next to Cal on one of the sofa's, curling into his side.
"How are you and the lil peanut doing today, my love?" he asks me, smiling sweetly down at me.
"We're good, managed a good sleep so we're trucking along well today," I smile back, and he leans down for a kiss.
"How did you sleep?" I ask him.
"Very well with my love in my arms," he winks, and I chuckle and kiss his jaw.
"Sap."
"Only for you, my dear."
------
In the bedroom with a bunch of the others, Big Brother announces that we will be nominating two people today.
"Shouldn't be too hard, especially considering there's still quite a lot of us in here," I say to the room as I tidy Calum and I's things.
"Gotta be done," Kav says.
"We all know each other, and it's a part of the game," Keith says.
"Plus if people take things too personally, they're making theirs and everyone else's time in here harder, we all know going in that it's part of the job, and not everyone will get along 24/7, we're bound to get on someone's nerves at some point," Cal points out.
"I'll be shitty if someone does a cop out and says 'well I think this person will be safe so let's nominate them', like no, say what you're actually thinking or feeling. I'm surprised Big Brother hasn't made it against the rules. Speaking of which, Big Brother that is an amendment for you," I say, speaking into my mic for the last bit making the others chuckle.
"I have no problem doing it today, at all," Cal says.
"Me neither," Kav, Cami, Michelle and I say.
"I didn't even have to think about it," I say, honestly.
"I say bring it," Michelle decides.
"You know what? I think they should let us nominate more often!" Cheggs says, making us laugh.
"Tell you what though, I can't stand the way Perez is trying to make Alex look like a bully who can't wait to hurt him, never once has that man been physically aggressive and only spoken up after being provoked for an extended period of time," I grumble out.
"Agreed," multiple people speak up.
"If anything is bullying, it is that, and I think Big Brother needs to be calling Perez up on a whole lot more crap and giving him warnings, cos his behaviour is ridiculous," I add.
"This is Big Brother, could Amara please come to the diary room and give your nominations."
"The voice of God," I gasp playfully, pretending to look scared, making everyone in the room laugh.
"Speak of the devil and he shall appear," Cheggs smirks.
"Shouldn't be too long," I hop up from my spot in Calum's arms and head out into the living room and up to the diary room.
Diary Room
"Hello Amara, please give the name and reason for your first nomination."
"My first nomination is Perez. His behaviour in this house has been deplorable. He goads and taunts those he doesn't like, and manipulates those he can to use them as a safety net when others snap back at him, because he knows they'll defend him without knowing the whole story. His behaviour in the garden the other night in particular is disgusting, and his relentless taunting of Alex and victimising himself, and I believe Big Brother needs to pull him up on his maliciousness more, or he needs to be voted out by the public. The public wants to 'get Perez out' and I am more than happy to facilitate that."
"Please give the name and reason for your second nomination."
"My second nomination is Nadia. She is lovely from what I know, but my interactions with her have been minimal because of her blind devotion to Perez. She defends and follows him without knowing all of what's happened, and she constantly seems to want a row with Katie while saying that it's Katie who is begging for it. She doesn't have to be buddy buddy with Katie, but Katie is being incredibly civil when comparatively, Nadia isn't doing much to deserve it. She enables Perez massively, so for that reason, she is my second person."
"Thank you Amara, you may leave the diary room."
I exit the diary room and feel a weight off my shoulders from having nominated and gotten those things off my chest.
-----
In the bedroom, Perez is putting on Pricey's dress from last night.
"It actually fits you well, you have a different frame to Pricey but without the tits, it works," I say, having a chuckle at the end, and he laughs too, to my surprise.
"Run around the garden like a fair maiden," Kav tells him.
"Some people might not like that," Perez says, slightly hesitant.
"It's not so much the running around the garden, it's when you do things like the other night. If you're just having some fun and flouncing around, you'll be right," I tell him, and he nods.
"Besides, won't be the first time," Kav snarks.
"Alright, just once," Perez decides. He proceeds to wander out of the room.
"See when he's not being a complete git, he can be alright. All that does is support my theory that majority of his time here, he's not been himself and he's been playing up to the cameras," I say, and a few people voice their agreement.
Kav and Calum head into the garden for a smoke and I head out too, sitting away from the cigarette smoke but knowing Calum has done well cutting back on the smoking, making me proud.
"God, if Pricey thinks the house has calmed down and been quiet, get ready cos it won't last," Kav says.
"Shit is gonna go balls to the wall, won't be long. I won't be surprised if something happens tonight, if I'm honest," I say to them.
"He's changed his whole tone and been doing this innocent act," Calum says.
"It's textbook narcissism, and Nadia doesn't see it, which baffles me. He love bombs them so hard to make them like him and want to be his friend that as soon as he starts being a dick, she can't fathom it and figures we're all liars," I vent.
We head inside once the boys are done to see Alexander wandering around the living area talking to himself a bit, which isn't out of the ordinary, but in this case Perez has managed to rile him up again, making me sigh in disappointment.
The other part that gets on my nerves is that Perez is maintaining his innocent, helpless act and pretending to be scared around him, trying to get up to the diary room.
"Mate, we all know he doesn't get agitated unless provoked, therefore you must have done something, so it's not fair that you scurry up there and bitch at Big Brother when your behaviour is just as bad, if not worse," I tell him calmly as I go and sit on the sofa by Michelle, as Alex goes outside with Kav to blow off some steam.
Perez seems to look at me with a death glare as he waits to go up to the diary room.
"Death glare me all you want, but I know it's because I see through the façade and all the bullshit. You don't scare me one bit," I chuckle before he finally scurries up the stairs.
"What a narcissistic asshole," Michelle scoffs under her breath.
"He's so obvious about his game playing, it's stupid."
We sit in comfortable silence for a while before everyone can hear him yelling at Big Brother, but the sound is muffled enough to not hear specifics. Everyone in the kitchen looks at the stairs in alarm.
"What the hell's he on about now?" Keith asks.
"Probably spewing bullshit about Alex," I shrug back.
"Hold on, that's not fair --," Nadia starts, but I'm quick to cut her off.
"Cut the crap Nadia, you and I both know it's true, and so does everyone else in this house," I snap at her, and she looks at me wide eyed as no one usually interrupts her. "He has been taunting and goading Alex for the last few days, he can't suddenly not expect Alex to be annoyed with him and not give him some reaction, and suddenly be the scared little white boy when a big black man is angry, because that's exactly how he's playing it."
Nadia can't seem to come up with something to say to that and some of the others laugh and gasp in shock, having not thought of it in that context but also because someone is finally putting her in her place.
"House mum cracks the whip, yet again," Cami smirks.
Alex comes back in after a little while and sits with us on the sofas.
"Here's the definition for my behaviour today, and just then," Alex starts. "I wanna make him as uncomfortable as I can in every possible way because he has done exactly that to me the entire time we've been here and especially the last few days. I will be as articulate as I can."
"Just don't threaten him," Michelle warns.
"Now he knows good and well that he wouldn't do that or get away with it in America, so why does he think it's suddenly okay here?" Alex asks rhetorically.
"You should've heard Mara go off at Nadia for trying to defend him before," Katie says.
"She brought up something I hadn't even thought of," Michelle adds, and Alex looks at me curiously.
"Told her off for defending him and essentially coddling him when he's been targeting you the last few days, and brought up how the way he scurries upstairs like he is now makes it seem like the 'angry black man' attacking or threatening the 'scared little white boy', which is absolutely not true and not the situation, but also incredibly harmful rhetoric to be pushing," I explain.
"Ooh baby, you even smarter than I gave you credit for, for recognising that," he winks at me. "And he does it in here because he thinks he'll be saved by Big Brother for acting like that."
"Even though the bastard should've had a lot more warnings," I grumble.
"Narcissistic and attention seeking," Michelle and Cami agree.
"No man taunts me and gets off scot-free, no one," Alex mutters.
"He's a textbook narcissist. I was telling Kav and Cal earlier that what he does to Nadia, and even to Patsy, Alicia and Pricey is love bombing, so hard so that they like and defend him when he would turn on them in a heartbeat when it benefits him, as we saw with him freezing out Alicia," I explain.
"I hadn't thought of it like that, either," Katie and Michelle gasp.
"And I apologise to the gay community for my comments yesterday towards him. I have gay cousins, gay friends, people I love with a passion who I'd go to bat for in a heartbeat if anybody mess with them. Because you haven't come that far yet, to realise that everybody has the right to be who they are, and that God don't make no mistakes, and nothing makes you better than that person. For that, I apologise," Alex says. "I do not apologise for what I said about him, to him. But I apologise for that statement and using that word, and if anybody took offense, know it was not my intent. I'm not a homophobe, but I do not like that boy."
"Well said," I say softly.
"And it's not fair for everyone else to be uncomfortable and have tension because he is causing it, it's not fair for everyone else's time to be impacted because of him," Cami says.
"He's a coward, and I'm not afraid to call him out on it," Alex adds.
"He's always gonna run away, so you can't give in to him and stoop down to his level," Michelle encourages him.
"He doesn't need our help to make him look like a twat, let him do it on his own. Call him out on it, but rise above," I encourage him, and he smiles at us.
"I love you girls," Alex grins.
"We need to have a party or gathering at some point after we all get out," Cami laughs.
"I volunteer my house as tribute, and you can come meet Harry," I smile, and they cheer. "Certain people may not be invited but the majority of the house will be."
"Invited to what?" Calum asks as he comes over.
"Gonna have a get-together with most housemates once we all leave, I volunteered my place," I explain.
"Gotcha, I'm down," he smirks. "Partay!"
He starts doing a little boogie, making us all laugh.
-----
Around an hour later, Alex heads up to the diary room, and soon after, everyone is called to the sofas, which doesn't bode well.
"I don't think they'd have kicked him out, they'd have had all day if they were gonna, I think he decided to leave because of that git," I mutter lowly to Michelle and Cal.
"This is Big Brother. Housemates, Alexander has decided to leave the Big Brother house."
A few people, namely Michelle, Calum, Cami and Kav are vocal about their disappointment and disbelief that Perez managed to run him off, and I can't help but gasp and shake my head in disbelief and outrage.
"And he has this message to leave with you."
"Son of a bitch!" Cal curses, and I grab his hand to pull him back to his seat next to me, rubbing my thumb over his knuckles to calm him down, and he wraps his other arm around me and kisses my head, pausing there and focusing on my breathing and our hands to calm himself down.
"To all my housemates, I've had a great experience with you guys, and I have mad love for almost all of you. I want you guys not to be sad that I'm leaving, and to not let my departure interrupt your experience."
By now there are tears falling down my face, and I can see Cami is the same, and Michelle is holding them back. Kav pulls Cami in for a hug to comfort her, and Calum pulls me tighter to his chest, placing our connected hands on my bump and caressing it with his thumb to comfort me.
"That is all, housemates. You may leave the sofas."
"Love you Alex, wish you the best and we will miss you. Can't wait to see you for that get-together when we get out," I managed to rasp out, and Calum, Katie, Kav, Cami and Michelle agree with the sentiment, while Cheggers and Patsy sit in shock, and Nadia and Pricey seem indifferent, considering they weren't close to him or didn't know him much.
I can tell Perez is holding back a smirk and I can't even bear to look at him or I will explode.
Michelle scooches closer and joins the hug, holding me to her chest, letting a tear fall.
"It's so unfair that he feels he has to leave just to get away from the asshole," I sob out, and she rubs my back, Calum pressing kisses to my head and rubbing my bump.
"We know, baby, we fully agree with you," Michelle whispers.
"I'm not letting them touch his stuff, no way in hell," I mumble as we stand up. Katie had the same idea and has grabbed his suitcases out of the hatch.
"Utterly despicable. Despicable human being," Katie says.
"Another one bites the dust cos of him," Cami says, getting up to join us.
We head into the bedroom to go and pack his things, Katie and Calum grabbing his clothes that are hanging.
"I couldn't even look at the git without wanting to snap at him, he was failing at holding in the smirk and I just wanted to smack it off," I grumble, pulling out the tubs under his bed and refolding everything nicely into his suitcase.
"Can't believe Alex leaves at the expense of that fucking madman!" Kav exclaims, plopping down in one of the armchairs.
Katie, Michelle, Kav and Cami all head out into the main area while I continue putting his stuff in the suitcases. Nadia comes in and starts talking to Patsy.
"Katie's desperate for a row, she's going off about it," Nadia starts.
"Just leave it alone," Patsy tells her, wanting to sleep but knowing I'm not afraid to go off.
"Give it a fucking rest already Nadia!" I raise my voice, and I can tell she and Patsy weren't quite expecting that, if Nadia even noticed I was in the room, and most of the others come in from the main room.
"Stop saying Katie's looking for a row when you're the one saying it like you want it more, or you and Perez seem to instigate arguments with her. We're allowed to be upset when our good friend decides to leave to get away from the one person who taunts him and goads him and makes him angry! Stop defending that behaviour, stop telling us off for having feelings, and stop going at Katie!" I snap, entirely fed up with her.
She sits on her bed looking at her feet like a scolded child.
"If you want to go to bed, go to bed, but don't come in all high and mighty and start bitching behind people's backs to Patsy who is trying to sleep," I add, finishing putting everything in the suitcases and zipping them up.
Everyone in the doorway has remained quiet and has looks of 'oh shit, she finally got to breaking point', with Michelle looking proud for speaking my mind and Katie lightly blushing at my defense of her. Calum comes over, kisses my head and lifts the suitcases off the bed, taking them into the main room when everyone moves from the doorway and I follow them out. Kav takes them from him and takes them into the hutch and Keith pulls me in for a hug, sensing how much I need one.
"I was already so angry and she just doesn't know where the line is, now wasn't the time to try and pick a fight," I cry into Keith's shoulder, as he rubs my back and tries to calm me down.
"I know, darling, I agree with you," he says gently.
He can see that I'm not calming down and leads me over to where Cal is now sitting on one of the armchairs and Cal pulls me into his lap, holding me close.
"Focus on me, baby. Listen to my heartbeat, my voice, and feel peanut. Just focus on us for now," he says, placing one hand on my bump and placing my head on his chest, covering one ear to block out the noise.
Eventually I manage to calm down and most of us have moved to sit next to the dining area discussing the whole situation, as Alicia has heard it differently from the rest of us due to certain people omitting details.
"I can hear him having a pity party and pretending to be upset in there and its agitating me," I mumble to Calum, sitting pressed into his side on one of the dining chairs.
"He was literally breathing over the food, and Alex said he didn't like it and didn't want to eat it if Perez was gonna stand there breathing over it," Michelle tells Alicia.
"I completely agree with that, though, he pretends to be all clean but he's the grubbiest of all of us by a long shot," I say.
"And then Nadia was trying to pacify and patronise him and telling him to 'calm down, I don't want any arguing', and Alex told her off, 'don't fucking tell me what to say or how to feel', and she just shrugged and walked away," Michelle continues. "And then Perez ran up to the diary room, that's all that happened."
"But I've heard he was just standing there," Alicia insists.
"But was it one of them who said it?" I point out, and she thinks. "Because of course they are gonna lie by omission and not tell you details that make either of them look bad."
"Alicia, you're defending him again, even after he's blatantly been in the wrong, and don't forget them freezing you out today!" Michelle reminds her.
She keeps insisting and defending him, combatting us.
"So there's nothing we can say, because you won't accept what we're telling you. If all of us are saying it, it's highly unlikely all of us are wrong!" Katie tells her, getting frustrated.
"It's like you're taking a boyfriend back that's cheated and shit on you so many times. I want you for your eyes to be opened, for you to be empowered and go 'Fuck you! You can't do this to me anymore and I'm not gonna take you back anymore!' That's what I want for you," Michelle explains, getting animated.
Alicia just stares off blankly, processing what we've just told her.
"God I wasn't expecting that, bloody hell!" Pricey exclaims. "Was you?" she asks Calum.
"A little bit, because it's been going on for a few days and Big Brother doesn't seem to be pulling him up much on his behaviour, but as soon as they say something, they flag it," Calum says.
"He'd been stewing all day, and if Alex decided it was better for him to leave and be separated from that, I don't blame him," I agree.
"Very true," Cheggers adds.
------
For a couple of people who evidently nominated Alex, they are asked to go and redo their second nomination, as well as those who haven't nominated yet. Clearly, Perez is one of those people because he storms out eventually after Nadia's had a very loud bitch fit to Patsy and Perez.
"Should I start packing now? Because I'd quite like to be prepared," Katie asks him snarkily, knowing that she must be one of his votes since he went for me last time. He just storms past and up to the diary room. "Git."
"If I leave here and find out people have nominated others because 'they're safe', or just because 'we don't see eye to eye', instead of saying how they actually feel and giving a real reason, I'll be shitty," I tell the group and they agree.
"Such a cop out, like stop trying to be likable and be real, cos we're gonna see all the bitchy, backhanded shit later, might as well just be honest rather than two faced," Kav agrees.
"Or who use other people as an excuse for not getting to know someone and then nominating them for it, it's a stupid reason, if you really wanted to know that person, pull them to the side and talk to them," I add.
Perez comes back down and goes into the bedroom and I can hear Patsy, Nadia and Perez all chatting loudly.
"Interesting how they were going to bed and now they're louder than a blowhorn," I mutter to the group.
"Just didn't wanna talk to us," Calum shrugs.
"Let them show their true colors," Cami agrees.
"I have no issue with Patsy at all, she probably gave up because the other two won't shut their traps and stop bitching, my issue is with those two," I say, and they agree.
"I just wish she would call them out on it more, rather than trying to constantly just be a peacekeeper," Michelle says, and we all nod in agreement.
-----
Once everyone has quieted down and started heading to bed for the night, I do the same, having decided not to bother while the possibility of arguments was still high. Calum is already lying facing away from the door when I come in and grab my pajama's, but hears me rustling around gently and turns his head.
"I'll be right back, go back to sleep," I whisper gently, kissing his forehead.
"I wasn't asleep yet, I can wait," he smiles, squinting at the light behind me.
I quickly run into the little bathroom and change, coming back out and putting the dirty clothes in a tub me and Calum have for our laundry, and slide into bed. In the time I was changing, he rolled over to face me and when I climb in, he wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer, tucking his head into my neck and I throw a leg over his waist, holding him close and getting comfortable.
Once we've settled, Big Brother decides to turn the light off.
"Thank you, Big Brother," myself and a few others mumble.
"Goodnight everyone," I say gently to the room, getting a few responses back, namely from Keith.
"Goodnight dear," he calls softly, making me smile.
"Goodnight baby," I say to Cal, who lifts his head for a kiss before snuggling back into my arms and I kiss the crown of his head, nuzzling into it and closing my eyes, drifting off.