Daerla
When I wake I lean over only to find the bed cold. Harwin's dead. For a moment I forgot. I lie back down and stare at the ceiling. I'm not sure what time I ended up coming back up.
I remember Lucerys saying goodnight and then I was sleeping.
"Mama!" Andres runs in and climbs into bed.
"Good morning, my sweet boy," I say and I pull him into my side. Andres just came running in for me. If i had gone last night he would have run in only to find me gone.
I brush his dark hair off his forehead and kiss him at the top of his head.
"Aerlia was calling for you," Daemos says as he walks in carrying my youngest baby.
"Did you want me Aerlia?" I say and I put my arms out as Daemos hands her to me. She looks up at me with a grin across her face.
There is a knock on the door and Daemos opens it. A young girl around Daemos' age walks in and curtsies to me.
"My Lady," she says before looking up at me. "Princess Rhaenys has arrived and she is asking for you to join them in the throne room."
"Of course," I say. I watch as Daemos keeps his eyes on the girl. "Daemos." He snaps back into reality and walks over as the girl leaves. "Take the children to the kitchens for some breakfast, alright?"
"Yes, mama," he replies and he takes Aerlia. As he leaves I see Viserys, my own brother, who raised me. I didn't have a father, he died when I was young. Viserys raised me because I didn't have anyone else. Daemos is doing the same thing. He is raising my children because I am half dead.
I pull on a dress before walking slowly down to the throne room. The walls are quiet. Harwin isn't here. The world is quiet.
I reach the throne room and everyone turns to look at me.
"Daerla," Rhaenys says. "I'm so sorry about Harwin. I heard about what Aemond did. You should know Alicent was furious, she didn't want any of you hurt."
"I don't care what Alicent wants," I snap. I'm angry. "Aemond killed my husband."
"I understand-" Rhaenys starts.
"No you don't!" I yell. "You have a husband, he isn't dead. He is alive and you just couldn't be bothered to see him. Harwin died in my arms and Corlys is alive so do not say you understand because you don't. You can't."
"I'm sorry," my aunt says and I look down at the floor. I'm ashamed at snapping at her.
"What are you here for, anyway?" I ask as i look back up at her.
"Viserys is dead," she says. I look at Daemon and Rhaenyra.
"Oh," I say and I nod, understanding. My brother is dead. "That's, wow, that's happened." I nod over and over again. "Ok, that's ok." Tears stream down my face and I look away.
"Daerla-" Rhaenys reaches for me and I flinch away.
"No," I say and I look her in the eye. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." She takes me in her arms as I sob into her shoulder. "It's too much. It's too much."
"You let it out, my darling," Rhaenys says as she rubs my back. "You let it all out."
Rhaena
I've come to the conclusion that I like Winterfell. I like that I'm not longing involved in the chaos that was Kings Landing. I'm glad I'm away from Aemond. I've always preferred the colder air. And I've also always preferred to be miserable on my own.
I don't like people seeing me upset. It's embarrassing. Aemond embarrassed me by making me cry in front of everyone. I'm not a little kid, I don't want to cry in front of people.
So it's a good thing that I'm in Winterfell alone. I'm not completely alone. But since Eadon and I are not yet married, I spend most of my time alone. I spend my nights alone. Curled on the floor by the fire crying.
That's where I am right now. By the blazing fire under layers of animal fur. I'm comfy and content. Winterfell is silent and I love it.
I can't sleep though. I keep thinking about my fathers dead. About how Aemond killed him. Aemond. I loved Aemond for years and he killed my father. I know the truth, I know that Aemond killed him because of me. Because I chose to marry Eadon instead of Aemond.
I wanted to do my duty. I wanted to do my parents proud. I love Aunt Rhaenyra and I wanted to show her that I support her not Aegon. My plan backfired and now my father is dead.
I miss him so much. He was the best father a child could ask for. He cuddled me when I was sad, he taught me how to use a sword even though I was a girl, he bought me back trinkets anytime he left Kings Landing. And he loved my mother. I think it's important that a child has parents who love one another. I'm so glad mine did.
A knock of the door makes me lift my head as it opens. Eadon walks in and looks towards the bed. When he finds if empty he looks towards me and he looks surprised to see me lying on the floor instead of in the big comfy bed.
"I've yet to adjust to the night colds," I say as I sit up and pull a animal fur closer to my body.
"Ah, I suppose as I grew up here I never realised how cold it would be for southerners," he says as he sits on the edge of my bed, facing me.
I won't lie, Eadon is very attractive. He has tanned skin and dark hair in a bun at the back of his head. He has a strong, powerful body. He is a warrior. I'm lucky that I get to marry him. He must realise I'm checking him out as he coughs to break the silence. I look back up at his eyes.
"I just came to tell you that I got word from Kings Landing," he begins. "The King is dead." My heart drops. "I thought you'd want to hear it from me." I nod.
"Thank you for telling me," I say as my hands fiddle together. Viserys was my Uncle and I loved him very much. How many losses can a person hold before they finally break?
"Anything I can do for you," he says. "Just say the word. I want to make you happy, I want Winterfell to be your home." I smile at him, a small one, I can't manage much more right now.
"One thing," I say and I pause, wondering if i'm making a terrible decision. "Is there any news on Prince Aemond?" Eadon looks down at the floor.
"No," he says. "But I'm sure he is well. You need not worry." I look away. I shouldn't have asked. He probably thinks my heart still beats for Aemond. It doesn't. I don't think.
"I'm sorry," I say. "Truly. In a matter of days my life has been turned on it's head. Aemond killed my father, I moved here, my uncle is dead. I don't know what to do with myself. Life is changing so fast and I don't know how to slow it down or how to keep up with the change."
"You are not alone, Rhaena," he kneels before me and takes my hand in his. "We will be married soon and I will stand by your side until my last breath. You will never be alone unless by choice. This I can promise you now. I will do anything you ask." His hand touches my face and he wipes away a tear with his thumb.
"I've seen the Winterfell girls," I say. "They are all very beautiful and of noble birth. Why chose me? I am the daughter of a disgraced Princess and a guard. And I'm nothing special to look at. I'm not like my mother in that department. So why me?"
"You don't remember?" He asks and I shake my head. "We met, many years ago. I came to the castle with my father and I was sparring with your brothers and I saw you. You were training with your father. All the other girls were inside, sewing and weaving. But not you. You're different. I've always liked different. When I saw you waving that sword around, I knew I could never settle for an ordinary girl. I could only ever settle for you."
"What a disappointment I must be now," I say and then he kisses me. I don't know what to do so I kiss him back. His hands cradle my face and he pushes me down before hovering above me.
"Wait-" I say and he pulls away, scanning my face. "I'm not- Well I mean, I have laid with a man before. You should know that, If it changes anything."
"I have also laid with another," he says. "It makes no difference. So long as we both promise only one another from now on."
"Alright," I reply and I kiss him back.
When all the furs fall away from my body, I let him warm me up.