10.22.22
11:49 pm
I've been talking to my ex for about over a week now and I don't want to talk anymore. I don't wanna waste his time and give him false hope. False hope that this is something more. That he and I might work out this time.
He'll never have a fair fight against E.
Cause it's always gonna be him. My choice will always be the same. It's always gonna be E cause he's my best friend. He feels like home even on the days where things feel cold. Even in the moments where things feel like they're over. It's always going to be him.
I realize now that no man will ever have a fair fight when it comes to E. No man can compare and it's not because E does all these over the top things. It's just we have such an electric connection that it just makes sense.
Us being friends. Us flirting. Us having sex. Us being one. It all makes sense.
I know from the outside view it seems like where just going in circles. Like it's never ending. And it is never ending, but I rather have it with him than with anyone else. I rather go in circles with him than have this all be over.
I just want him. No matter how I get him. It's him that I want.
I don't need him. I don't need the company. I don't need the love. I don't need the attention. But I want it. And I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting someone.