Iiris' PoV
The moment the car stopped next to me and the window was rolled down, the blood in my system froze. I was numb. I was afraid to move and no matter how hard Rilla tried to pull me towards her, my legs did not listen to me.
"Iiris?"
I was scared to turn my head even though the voice was familiar and finally something in me gave me the strength to look at the owner of the voice and as I saw who it was, I felt relieved.
"Sorry.. I didn't mean to scare you.. " Robyn looked at me a little worried and Joel was peeking from the driver's side.
"Gotta say you actually almost killed me.. " I took a deep breath and placed my free hand on my heart. It was beating like crazy but still a gentle chuckle escaped my lips.
"Aleksi called me that you're gonna be here alone so I decided to come and keep you company.. If you want, of course.." She looked at me and once Rilla realized who I was talking to, she also walked to me and greeted the Hokka family with a friendly bark.
"Yeah.. Sure.. Who knows who I ran into while walking here all alone, not knowing where that lunatic might be.." I was more than fine with hanging with Robyn. She seemed nice and friendly, but I also remembered what Aleksi told me and it made me a little sad. They were probably a cute couple but I also understand that sometimes your first love is the love of your life, and seeing how close and connected Joel and Robyn were, I could not really be mad at her.
"Great." Robyn smiled and turned to Joel and gave him some kind of signal to get out of the car. They both got out and Joel walked to the back of the car and opened the boot. He then took out the baby carriage while Robyn took Sophia from the backseat. It was so weird to see Joel doing any of those things because I always thought he would not be the guy who has kids, yet I was so wrong. He looked proud while doing all of that. The way he kissed Sophia goodbye, and then Robyn. He placed his hand on her belly and rubbed it a while before saying bye to me too, and sitting back in the black Audi.
"Girl seriously, I freaking almost died..." I did my best to get my heartbeats back to normal. Rilla was walking around my legs, wrapping the leash all around them so I bent down to undo the deadly trap she was putting me into.
"Sorry.. Again.. I really wasn't thinking at all.. I should have texted you or something.. " Robyn apologized and she really looked like she was sorry. I know she did not do that on purpose and probably wasn't even waiting to see me walking on the street.
"It's ok.. I'm just happy it was you and not someone I'm trying to avoid.." We started to walk back towards Aleksi's house. Also, I was really thankful to Aleksi that he asked Robyn to keep me company, I knew I would have gone crazy alone and now when I had someone around, I could focus on some other things than in Rauli and all the messages he has written me the past 24 hours.
"How are you holding up?" Robyn asked after we got back to Aleksi's and she started to undress Sophia. The little one was staring at me like some weirdo but I could understand that. I had only seen pictures of her but we have never met before. That made me smile and I knelt down on her level.
"Hi there... You have such amazing eyes... " I smiled at her. Her eyes were so big, bright and blue.
"She has daddy's eyes. " Robyn said and took off her jacket. I stood back up and kept on smiling to Sophia who now seemed to form a small smile to me too. I knew I wanted kids but with the current life I had it would be impossible. Especially with Rauli. If he was able to be abusive against me then who knows what he could do for a child. Even seeing an abuse would affect the child's mental health negatively.
"She's so lovely.. But yeah. I'm.. I'm trying to hang in there somehow... My phone is full of messages I don't want, or dare to read so.. I dunno.. I just called my boss at the youth center." I sighed and leaned against the wall. Robyn looked at me, worried, and helped Sophia out from the carriage. Rilla was there immediately sniffing the little girl and she was getting so much attention from Sophia.
"Have you reported him?"
"To the police?" I asked just to be sure. Robyn nodded and went to put Sophia's food into the fridge. I followed her to the kitchen and Sophia and Rilla both followed us there.
"No I haven't.. I know I should but I don't want to relive all of those memories again, or see him again... I just want this to end and forget it even happened.."
Robyn sighed and sat on the chair. I went to make us some coffee and while the liquid was running into the mugs, I took the cupcakes out from the fridge and put them on the table. To be honest, I didn't even want to talk about it anymore. It felt easier to just ignore the fact that I even had a phone and Rauli was somewhere out there. My mind was already creating some escape routes and I was ready to just jump on a plane and never return. I felt like I needed to go somewhere and be away from this city, from all the people I knew, to really know who I really was because I had lost myself into someone who did not deserve even a half of me.
"What are you going to do then?" Robyn asked after I had given her the coffee. I took mine as well and sat behind the table.
"First, I need to quit the bar but I'm not ready to do that.. I love the people there.. They're like.. The only ones I could have a real conversation with because Rauli prohibited me to spend time with a lot of people outside the work so.. "
I hated it when it all started. First he didn't really mind who I was spending time with but then he started to control me more and more, until I had to say no to a lot of people. The only one I could spend time with was Susanne and now I know the reason. He knew she would never believe me if I told her what was going on. What if I wasn't even the first one he treats like this?
"But I can't go there because it will be the first place Rauli will come to look for me.. " I tapped the mug while looking down into it. It was just as dark as my life had been the past years and suddenly I wasn't willing to drink it because it felt like I would be drinking all the bad memories back inside of me, so I just pushed the mug away.
"You know... " Robyn started and quickly checked what Sophia was doing. She was busy with some of her toys that Robyn had taken with, so looks like she was ok for now.
"I was something like... 17, I guess.. When I was in a relationship with one guy who.. Who was also a little violent every now and then.. I was a virgin that time, too... And he was trying hard to get me into bed... One night we got into a fight again. He wanted to sleep with me but I wasn't that into him.. You know.. It's always been Joel for me and I knew if I ever wanted to go that far, it would happen with Joel.. So, he knew that I have had this weird relationship with Joel since we were kids so.. He started to call me names, pinned me on the bed and tried to.. You know.. That wasn't even the first time he did that. He would try to get his way but I managed to fight against him... What I want to say is that.. I know how it feels when you're helpless... That time Joel helped me out of it.. And now, we're gonna help you out of that... "
I didn't know what to say but after hearing that I understood even better why things with Aleksi and Robyn did not work out. There was so much history between them, they shared so much. He was her safeplace. I had no one like that and I have never had.
"So is there anything I can do?" Robyn then continued but I did not know what to say. She cannot quit my job, that is something I had to do.
"I don't know.. There was only one person I thought would sort of help me out of this but now she has turned her back at me so.. " I took my phone and put it on the table. There were some new messages as well and I had the urge to read them, but I knew it would not help me to get over it.
"Have you thought about changing a number?"
"Yeah... But I'm not ready to go too far from here.. "
"We can go together later today if you want.." Robyn offered but I did not feel ready to go downtown to make myself a new contract with the operator so I declined the offer for now. Maybe I was ready to do it someday. Still, I had one more thing to do before it was too late, and it was calling the bar manager, Vertti. Tears started to run my eyes as I chose his contact but I had no strength in me to push the green icon. My shift was going to start in a few hours so I should let him know now and not later.
"I'm gonna quickly call my boss before he starts to search for me.. " I took a few deep breaths and pressed the icon. Robyn gave me an encouraging smile but I was still shaking. The dial tone seemed to have no end but suddenly it stopped.
"Hello?" Vertti's voice was carried into my ears.
"Hi.. Umh.. It's Iiris... " I said with my voice shaking. I decided to go talk a little further by the window so I stood up and walked there.
"Hi, what up? I was about to call you anyway. Some guy came here looking for you yesterday.. Seemed kinda angry... And Laura recognized that it was your boyfriend... Is everything ok?"
Fuck. I had no idea that Rauli was already looking for me from everywhere. Of course Laura knew who he was, she saw when Rauli pulled me out from the bar the night I met with Aleksi there. Knowing that he has been there really left me no other option than to tell Vertti what was going on. So I took a deep breath and told him the truth which I knew he already knew. They all knew it. I just tried to hide it for so long but as it came down to this, I had no reason to keep it a secret anymore. Vertti seemed to understand and gave me his word that he won't tell anything to Rauli if he comes there again. We both were sad that my career there ended like this but there was no other way. If I wanted to live, then this was the only way.
After the call I kept on leaning against the wall next to the window. Some cars were passing the house and I was scared that what if Rauli somehow knew where I was. Never in my life I imagined that I would be this scared and betrayed.
"Iiris?" Robyn placed her hand on my shoulder and I turned around.
"Rauli went to the bar last night.. "
"Sh..oot..."
"Yeah.. I knew he would do that.. " I sighed and went to sit on the sofa. Robyn followed me there, not really knowing what to say. Silence fell between us but for a short moment only, because Susanne's name suddenly appeared on the screen of my phone. I stared at it for a second and ignored the call.
"Was that him?" Robyn asked quietly. I shook my head while twisting my lips. The anger and hurt I felt because all of this made me want to scream.
"It was Susanne.. His sister who decided to believe him over me.. I sent her the video I made about the bruises but she did not believe a word I said.. And then Rauli messaged me, laughing, that I was stupid to think that Susanne would ever believe me..." I went to the messenger chat I had with Suanne and gave my phone to Ro so she could read what she had said. Robyn scrolled through the messages with a confused expression on her face.
"Wow... I mean.. This is bad... You're showing her your bruises and she still denies it all.. Have you sent any screenshots to her?" Robyn asked and handed the phone back to me.
"No.. " I shook my head while scrolling up and down the chat.
"You should.. .Open her eyes.. Let her read what Rauli has sent to you and if she still thinks it is someone else then she is having some real issues with her brother.. " That sounded like an ok plan but I was scared to do it. I did not want her to call me and I definitely did not want any new message from Rauli. I was done. I was tired.. I just wanted to get away.
"I'm not sure if I want to see her either.. I should not have to prove anything to her.. If she is already on Rauli's side then I don't see a point in trying to get her on my side anymore.. I have you guys.. I guess that's enough for now.. Besides, Aleksi invited me to join you guys to Oulu this weekend so I'm getting away from the city at least.." I smiled a little at the end of the sentence. Robyn nodded understandingly.
"It's all up to you.. But let me give you one more piece of advice tho.. Just block them. Then you don't have to worry about them calling or texting you."
That I could do. This would be the end for them contacting me so I blocked them.
Later Aleksi and Joel returned from work and we decided to have dinner all together. It still felt a little weird seeing them all sitting around the same dinner table after everything that has happened between them. But at the same time I could sense the strength of friendship and I loved it. I felt like I finally belonged somewhere.
But my mind still was unable to shut down when I laid down on my bed. Even though I had blocked Susanne and Rauli, this whole country started to feel suffocating. The idea of going away felt better than ever and I knew I had this one dream I have always been dreaming to do. I stood up from the bed and went to get the balck box where I had all the money I had put aside. I opened it, counted it a few times and I was sure it would be just enough to fulfill that dream. I could finally take some time for myself and think about who I really was and what I wanted from life. Of course I knew it would be sad to leave all of these people behind now but I knew coming to Aleksi's would be only temporary. I knew what I wanted to do so in the middle of the night, I took my laptop and started to plan my life.
A/N: Hey guys! I managed to get you another chapter ready :) What do you think Iiris is planning?