Nicholas
After dropping prince Sunoo off in the studio, I went back to the car as I sat inside. I am supposed to be joining the royals up there just in case they need protection but the chief warrior is there.
I just can't face him right now.
Flashback
(When Nicholas and Sunghoon found EJ drunk in Nicholas' cabin )
After the prince left with a bottle of alcohol in his hold, I immediately tended a drunk someone who is so wasted and decided it would be best to barge into my cabin.
"Why are you here?"
He looks at me with tears in his eyes again and I really don't know who I wanna punch right now, if I wanna punch Sir K for constantly hurting EJ or if I would wanna punch EJ for constantly letting himself get hurt.
I can literally see how K treats EJ and that is just him being a good older brother to him but this guy just won't accept the fact that K would never see him more than that. I don't know why of all people, he would fall for someone whom he doesn't stand a chance to. K didn't know this of course and he is not hurting him on purpose.
I think I now know who to punch but of course I won't do that.
"I'm mad at you . . you lied to me"
"You need to get up from the floor and let me take you to your room. . . you know how low your tolerance it but then you decided to drink one of the strongest alcoholic drink in my fridge"
"You lied to me . . . you said . . you said I'm . . I'm cute . . I look good . . you said I look good with my outfit but . . but you lied . . I look ugly"
Indeed, he looks good no matter what occasion and no matter what he wears. I only lied about him looking ugly tho.
"I didn't lie . . who told you that you look ugly?"
"K hyung. . . "
I didn't understand him.
"He said . . he said I looked good . . but . . but I saw . . I saw him outside with Hanbin and . . . and he called him pretty . . "
Because of that, he concluded that K called him ugly?
"You need to sleep"
"Why can't he love me?"
He loves you . . just not in the way you want him to.
"K loves you . . but that love is not the same with you . . . he loves you just as Sunghoon loves Sunoo"
"Huh? They're brothers. . . ooh so K loves me as a brother? . . so he don't love me like that?. . . why? . . I don't want that!"
He again cried as I just sat there feeling broken just as he is. Hearing him say those words is a huge blow to me. I feel like crying because just like him, I also know how it feels. I badly want to tell him how he doesn't need to be hurt again because if he would give his heart another chance, there could be someone who is willing to take care of it.
But I know my place. If EJ wants to treat me as an older brother he would rely on during times of trouble, I would take that rather than him not acknowledging me at all.
"Why don't he treat Hanbin like a brother then? Why?"
"I promise to explain to you everything tomorrow but now, you need to sleep. . come on. ."
He raised his arms like a kid wanting to be carried as I helped him stand up.
"Oh . . there are two of you . . . "
He giggles as he held my face and with hazy eyes, he stared at me.
"If you were K . . . would you treat me as a brother?"
Of course. Because K would still see him as a brother no matter who it is pretending to be him.
"Yes . ."
"Oh . . so you're K now?"
"Can you walk? You need to sleep right now"
I was about to walk forward when he turned my head towards him and smashed his lips onto mine taking me off guard on the spot.
I pushed him slightly by the shoulder despite not wanting to pull away. He's drunk and at his most vulnerable state now. The last thing I would do is take advantage of the kiss no matter how much I would like to kiss him.
He leans closer so I just carried him in my arms and walk to his room. I placed him on his bed before I removed his shoes and covers him with his blanket. He is now asleep which is a relief to me and I did a mental note to never allow him to drink alone. It could be really dangerous.
As I gaze onto his sleeping figure, I didn't notice how a tear left my eye.
I now wanna punch myself for allowing him to hurt me over and over again. If only I can find a book that has steps on how to erase what I feel towards him, I would read it over and over again. Unfortunately, there's no such book.
I now don't know how to not feel like this towards him.
I exit his room and on the way to my cabin, I came across K and Hanbin walking probably to Hanbin's room which is also Prince Jake's room.
I bowed at them as they did the same before K spoke.
"Have you seen EJ? He said he wanted to tell me something but I had to attend to the prince so it kinda slip my mind. . "
"Ah . . . is that so? Well, he just fell asleep. His ahm . . drunk"
"Oh . . I forgot how low his tolerance is . "
"I'll get going now . . see you"
We waved at each other before I ran to my cabin and let those unshed tears fall.
Ej is about to confess right?
I knew it, that's why he's been all nervous and he has to call me to check if his outfit is alright.
It hurts so bad.
End
The next day after that event, EJ told me how he and K kissed last night. He sounded happy.
After that, I realized that no matter what I do, I will remain invisible in his radar because despite kissing me that night, it is always K that's on his mind.
I don't want to interact with him after that because I want to free myself from pain as after what happened, it hurts me to even see him. Every time I see him, I will just be reminded how I am an insignificant being in his life. I am just some one who is there to hear all his rants and comfort him during hard times.
Now, I want to comfort myself.
___
K
I didn't expect Hanbin and I to click this fast because at first, I thought he's more reserved and closed off but it turns out, we're literally just waiting for each other to speak first. It is funny how when we first had a decent conversation, it went on and on that we didn't realize how it is already night time. It didnt help that we're always together when prince Sunghoon and prince Jake will go somewhere.
There are some unexplainable events when we're together because whenever we began to talk, there is like something that pulls us closer and that something is unknown to me. When he speaks, something in his voice or his face or how he speaks has some magic to pull my attention towards him.
I think I now understand why Prince Jake wants to have him around ever since they're kids. Hanbin has that warm and comforting aura surrounding him that me just being beside him makes me feel at ease.
Well, except when there comes a time when my heart would be in total chaos when he's with me. I don't know why if feels beautiful but scary at the same time.
I have no idea what it is but when I told Jay about it, he just laughed and told me I'm in love. We even sat down together one time as I asked him questions about this love thingy and when I began to experience more of it, I grew to understand it. And the more I spend time with Hanbin, the more greedy I am to be with him more than this.
I want us to have time when it is just the two of us and just be K and Hanbin, not the chief guard or the prince adviser.
It never occurred to me that I will one day be in love but looking back to those times when I will visit Zequiero and I would see him, I always find him so pretty and elegant. Maybe I have been crushing on him a long time ago but I didn't realize because I don't understand the concept of crushes and love.
Despite this feeling being so beautiful, it still scares me because the most beautiful feeling of love will always come with the most painful counterpart.
That's what scares me the most preventing me from walking up to him and confess.
. . . .
Today is the day of the baking contest and I am currently seated nearby the royalties as I watch the contestants assemble their cakes.
Then the time went out signalling the end of the competition but after the awarding, the prince and his fiance went into the VIP room with the winners and now, I am waiting for them to come out.
"K hyung?"
"Hey . . . you did great back there. You never failed to amaze me with your food skills"
He smiled making me ruffle his hair.
"Hyung . . . I wanna tell you something"
"Oh what is it? You're supposed to tell me last time at the ball but you must have forgotten"
"Yeah . . . uhm. . . hyung, do you like Hanbin hyung?"
Like? Do I like him? Can I describe what I feel towards him as "I like him"?
"I . . . I like him. I think I have always liked him during the time when I would travel back and forth the two kingdoms . . . "
"Then . . why? . . why did you kiss me that night?"
His eyes filled with tears gaze up to meet mine as he clenched his fists clearly holding himself back from completely loosing it.
"What are you talking about?"
"The night at the charity ball . .you were telling me to rest .. To sleep . . you even brought me to my room. . why would you do that?"
"EJ. . .look, this is a misunderstanding. .I am with Hanbin the whole night and I think Nicholas was the one who took Care of you that night"
"What's with Hanbin hyung? Why do you like him? Why don't you like me?"
"You know . . you're like a baby brother to me EJ . . I don't like you that way"
"But I do . . I have always liked you and Hanbin hyung just waltzed in and now you like him?"
"You're an amazing person Ej but I can't teach my heart whom to love because it just do. . . --"
"Stop. . . Nicho . . he's always right . . I can't believe I made myself look like s fool . . . I'm sorry . . I gotta go. . "
He ran as I didnt even have the time to comfort him. Well what am I thinking, I caused him pain? How can I comfort him?
I can't believe he has liked me and that he wanted to be with me. I always thought he liked Nicholas.
"What happened?"
I turn to look at Hanbin who is approaching me.
"Did something happened? Why are you crying?"
He slowly pulled me towards one of the dressing rooms in the studio as he made me sit on a chair handing me his handkerchief.
"May I . . may I hug you?"
He smiled again before pulling me towards him making me wrap my arms around his torso with my head on his stomach.
"Hanbin. . . if you hurt someone, . . . if you're the reason someone is hurting, can you still comfort them?"
His fingers played with my hair as one of his hands slowly rub my shoulders.
"I think if that was me. . I would rather stay away. . . no matter how much I wanna make them feel good, I dont wanna deepen the wound I caused in the first place. . . well it could be harder now to approach them but there is no hard heart to a sincere apology. . both of you need time .. Them to heal, and you to get back on track. Now when both of your paths are fine again, you can again cross. . . it's gonna me alright. . ."
I grew up with EJ in the palace and we've been friends for ages that now thinking of the fact that we might not be again, it hurts me because EJ is a very important person to me. He's my baby brother.
Well not by blood but he is the brother I never had.
Wherever he is, I pray that he's not alone. He's a fragile person and I'm scared because I broke him and he might just continue to break.
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So a little peek on the other characters before we move on to JakeHoon and HeeJake.
I hope you liked it😊