Iiris' PoV
The remaining day was carried on with quite weird vibes. We were both drunk, had a food coma because of the cupcakes, and Rilla was looking at us confused. My stomach was already hurting and Aleksi was complaining about the same.
"Fucking rum made me do this..." It was so easy to blame the white liquid for overeating but both me and Aleksi knew that it was all because of the emotions.
"Yeah... But these are good.." Aleksi said and reached for another cupcake, not giving a damn that just a moment ago he swore to not eat them anymore. I laughed quietly and stood up from the sofa. My head was spinning and my throat was screaming for water, so I turned on the tap and placed my glass under it. For some time I managed to forget my phone but once I placed the glass into the sink and turned around again, my eyes met the device that was still on the counter, right where I had put it after Aleksi gave it back to me. Part of me wanted to check if there were any new messages but the other part felt good not knowing about them. The alcohol probably encouraged me to just keep on ignoring them but the sober side of me was more scared of Rauli's reactions. After staring at the phone for a moment I decided just to leave it there and continue whatever I was doing now. The only problem was that I had no idea what to do now because the rum was gone and I was already feeling a little sick because of it and the cupcakes.
"So... " Obviously my plan did not include all of this on my first day here but I also never thought I would end up here anyway so the little confusion in the middle of all of this was acceptable.
"Wanna watch a movie?" Aleksi reached for the remote and switched on the TV. I shrugged my shoulders and sat next to him.
"If you have something good in mind." I lifted my legs up on the sofa and on the same second Rilla decided to join us. She rested her head on my legs and Aleksi rested his left hand over her small body. Rilla seemed to like that and she closed her eyes and soon we already heard her snoring.
"She feels comfy." Aleksi smiled while scrolling on Netflix. It took a while for us to decide what to watch but for some very unknown reason, we ended up watching Shrek. No clue why, but it felt like the right decision after all the rum.
Most of the movie we just laughed because there were so many moments that our drunken brains found hilarious. But still, every once in a while, my thoughts went back to Rauli and Susanne. How could she not believe me? I sent her the video of my bruises, I opened up to her, told her my most painful secret and she just did not believe me. What if Rauli was being abusive towards her, too? Not physically but emotionally. Could he be so twisted that he abuses his own sister? No. He wouldn't. And the way Susanne acted around him was also showing the exact opposite. They were close and of course I was now the bad one, trying to turn her against her own brother.
"What are you thinking?" Aleksi suddenly asked and paused the movie. I hadn't paid attention to it for the past few minutes and Aleksi seemed to notice that.
"Susanne..." I sighed and played with the hem of my shirt. Honestly, I wanted to cry but I had no more tears left. I felt so helpless without my best friend, she has been there for me all these years but now when I need her the most, she just... Turns her back at me.
"I'm so sorry for that... I really thought she would understand.." Aleksi said and his lips were curved down.
"Yeah, well... I guess I kinda always knew that she would choose her brother if I ever had the courage to tell her.. And I had the right feeling about it.. I just... I just can't believe she really did that... After everything I have done for her.. Being there for when she got pregnant, was depressed... Got beaten up because I stayed late at her's.. It feels like I did that all for nothing.. She just.. Turns her back at me and now I'm so fucking scared to even walk out that door because I'm having a paranoid that they will find me here..." I hugged my knees and supported my chin on them. Aleksi stayed quiet for a moment. Maybe he was already regretting for taking me in because all I did was complaining about my fucked up life. And it has only been one day.
"It doesn't even matter that Rauli lives on the other side of the city.. What if he has some kind of app installed in my phone that shows my location..?" Now I was getting really paranoid.
"Iiris... If he had it, he would have known where you spent the weekend... " Aleksi pointed out and rubbed my shoulder. True. He had no idea I wasn't at home and since I managed to lie to Susanne as well.
"Right.. Sorry... I'm just... "
"I know... But, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?" I know Aleksi was just trying to tell me that I was strong enough to finally escape the situation and it should give me more power to finally put it all behind, but the truth was that I was stuck.
"It fucks you up mentally, you know... I don't know who I can trust anymore. I can't tell my bosses the real reasons why I want to quit my job immediately... I can't tell anyone where I am because for sure someone knows Rauli or Susanne.. I am that paranoid already... "
Aleksi sighed and looked out from the window. He probably knew how scared I was but I was sure he still did not get it completely how this all is going to affect me. Or even him if things go very bad.
"Do you have any plans...?" He carefully asked.
"I dunno... Of course I always thought that when the day comes when I finally leave, I just take off and fly to another country.. Change my name and looks so Rauli would have no chances finding me, but it is just some stupid idea and I know I won't be able to really do anything like that... " Sure I had big plans I thought would work out. I had some money put aside and I had it with me here but really taking that step and leaving was always the hardest thing for me to do.
"Well.. We can start with small steps.. We're gonna play in Oulu the coming weekend.. You can come with us. I know the other girls are also coming... " Aleksi offered and honestly, it sounded like a good idea. Getting away from Helsinki was always a good idea.
"And I would feel more comfortable if you're with us and not here alone..." He continued and I slowly looked at him.
"If that's ok with the others... Then yeah, I'd like that." I smiled a little. The man next to me nodded, assuring me that it was all fine if I joined them, so I agreed. But there were still several days until Friday, when we were supposed to leave.
The next morning my eyes were puffed and reddish. My head was aching a little but for that I could only blame myself, or I should actually put the blame on Rauli and Susanne as they were the reason for the drinking. I could blame myself only for not handling the situation any other way. After taking a shower and making myself look more like a decent human being, I went to the kitchen where Aleksi was already drinking his coffee.
"Morning... How did you sleep?" He asked, stood up and took another mug from the cabin. I sat on the stool and supported my head with my hands.
"Terribly.." I sighed. We went to sleep pretty late. After deciding that I will join them on Friday, we continued to talk about some random things, mostly because Aleksi tried to make me think about something else than Rauli and his sister. Sure it helped a little and I got to know Aleksi more as a person, but I knew that the moment I sober up then I have to actually call my bosses and make some other decisions too.
"Here." Aleksi handed me a coffee and then he gave me a glass of water and some painkillers.
"What a fancy breakfast.." I laughed, making him chuckle.
"The best in the World." He sat back in his place and took another sip from the coffee. There was silence between us but it didn't make me feel uncomfortable. It felt actually quite peaceful and I loved it. Comparing all those nervous silent moments I had with Rauli, this was like a paradise. I knew I did not need to worry if I said something wrong or did something he did not like. Aleksi did not judge me.
"What are you going to do today?" I asked Aleksi when I had drank half of the coffee. He was already putting his mug into the dishwasher.
"I guess I'm gonna take Rilla out and then I need to go to the studio and work there with some songs. What about you?" Aleksi went to give some food to Rilla and the dog followed her, wiggling her tail as a sign of extreme happiness.
"Probably gonna quit my jobs and then.. I don't even know... Stare at the ceilings and ignore their calls and messages I guess.." Realizing that my phone was still on the kitchen table already made me sweat. I wanted to destroy that device. I wanted to be unreachable for all the people I knew, except Aleksi and the others of course. But otherwise, I wanted them to think that I have fallen off from the planet or something like that. Knowing how twisted Rauli was he might actually even call the police and report me as a missing person and that thought scared me a little. But on the other hand, if he did that and somebody found me, I could show the video to the police. Sure I could just walk to the station and file a report against him, but I did not want to have anything to do with him. It was easier for me just to distance myself from all of them and move on with my life somewhere, where they cannot find me.
"You can do it, I know it. " Aleksi gave me a friendly smile and looked at his phone. A silent cursing escaped from his lips and he then looked at Rilla and his phone again.
"If you're in a hurry then I can take her out..." I figured that it was already pretty late and Aleksi had to go.
"Could you?"
I just nodded while sipping the coffee and Aleksi's face was covered with a relieved expression.
"Thanks.. I really need to run already..."
I smiled at him and soon he was already gone. He had left me spare keys so I could come and go as I wanted, but I knew I would not go far anyway. I just felt that I needed some fresh air to clear my mind and get rid of the headache. After I was done with my coffee I went back into my room and put on some warmer hoodie because it seemed to be a little colder outside today. I searched for my earphones and when I finally found them, I took Rilla's leash and called her. She run to me and as she saw what I was holding in my hands, she started to jump up and down. She knew what the leash was for and if she could talk, she would have told me to move myself faster.
"Okay, wait a second now..." I attached the leach on her collar and put on my shoes and jacket. Of course I was a little bit scared to walk out from the house, the whole World was out there and I felt safe inside all these walls. But I knew I could not hide forever and this area was far, far away from the area where I used to live. There should be no one I know living around here so I should be fine. I wasn't going to walk too far anyway.
Once we were out, I turned to the right and started to walk down the street. Rilla was doing her dog business and I thought that this would be more or less okay time to call for my boss in the youth center because I was supposed to go there in a few hours. With a shaking hands I chose her number and pressed for the green icon on the screen. The dial tone echoed in my ears and after some time, she finally answered.
"Hi, it's Iiris.. Umh.. "
"Is everything ok?" Tanja, my boss, asked. She was an older lady and usually very friendly and forthcoming. I just have no idea how she will react on the news I was about to tell.
"Honestly... No.. And I know this comes with a terribly short notice but.. I.. I can't come to work today.. Or at all, anymore.. " My voice was shaky and my heart was beating out of my chest.
"That is a little bit short notice indeed.. Did something happen?" Tanja asked and I heard from her voice that she was worried. If I was having a face to face conversation with her now, I knew I would break down and maybe tell everything to her but I was at a safe distance and I could keep my guards up. Still, I had to tell her something.
"Yeah.. Something happened and I need a little favor.. I know it is not ok to ask it especially as I'm quitting my job but.. If anyone, I mean anyone, comes to ask for me, then please tell them you haven't heard about me... Can you promise me that..?" I knew Rauli or Susanne would eventually start to search for me from my workplaces, so I needed to be sure that no one knew anything about me.
"Iiris... Are you sure you don't want to tell what's going on?" Tanja sounded even more worried now and I started to feel like a shit.
"I want to but I can't... I just don't want to be found... If you know what I mean..." I hoped that she would understand that something serious was going on. She sighed deeply and stayed silent for a moment.
"Okay... I understand. But I am a little sad that we are losing a good worker here.. The kids love you, you know that, right?"
Of course I knew it. And I loved the kids too, they were the ones who always made me smile no matter how badly I was hurt. They were my escape for a short moment... And it killed me that they were never going to be a part of my life anymore.
"I know... I'm sorry too, but... I just.. Can't.. Thanks for everything, Tanja.."
"Take care of yourself, Iiris.. Call me if I can help you somehow."
The call ended with tears in my eyes and I put the phone away after choosing a playlist from Spotify. Rilla was sniffing something from the bush and then started to walk towards the next street. I decided to calm down a little before calling my other boss, so I followed Rilla for a while before turning around and going back to the street where Aleksi lived. My mind was a mess and it was hard to figure out what to do next. Quitting the bar would be also difficult because it was a whole another World and a place where I could talk with people. But it had to be done so I took out my phone again and went to the contacts. Just as I was about to press the green icon again, a car stopped next to me and a window was rolled down.
"Iiris?"
A/N: I managed to get something out... Sorry that it took so long but things happened and I was not in shape to write anything. The updates will be irregular from now on because I am still dealing with a lot of things and writing is a little hard right now.. Hope you guys understand.. ♥