October 9,2020
It's been a week since I've been home after my leg got blown off in Iraq. And it's also been a week since I've seen Bella. Mom said that she already had her baby. I'm happy for her.
"That's it," Bailey exclaimed as she slammed my bedroom door causing it to hit the wall which in turn startled Declan from his nap. "Fuck I forgot he was sleeping." She groaned as Declan began wailing from his crib at being woken up so suddenly and I closed my eyes. I just got him down for his nap half an hour ago.
"Mama! Mama!" He wailed as he sat on his crib and k blinked, did he remember Jenna? The woman that left him nearly four months ago? I reached for him and cradled him in my arms and rocked him trying to get him to calm down but he only screamed louder.
"Mama! Mama!" Declan cried and I didn't know what to do. Bailey reached for the night stand before hitting play and Bella's soft voice filtered through the speakers and Declan was reduced to whimpers and hiccups as he laid his head on my shoulder while sucking his thumb.
Goodnight, sweetheart, well it's time to go,
Goodnight, sweetheart, well it's time to go,
I hate to leave you, but I really must say,
Goodnight, sweetheart, goodnight.
Goodnight, sweetheart, well it's time to go,
Goodnight, sweetheart, well it's time to go,
I hate to leave you, but I really must say,
Goodnight, sweetheart, goodnight.
Well, it's three o'clock in the morning,
Baby, I just can't treat you right.
Well, I hate to leave you, baby,
Don't mean maybe, because I love you so.
Goodnight, sweetheart, well it's time to go,
I hate to leave you, but I really must say,
Goodnight, sweetheart, goodnight.
Goodnight, sweetheart, well it's time to go,
Goodnight, sweetheart, well it's time to go,
I hate to leave you, but I really must say,
Goodnight, sweetheart, goodnight.
Now, my mother and my father,
Might hear if I stay here too long.
One kiss and we'll part,
And you'll be going,
You know I hate to see you go.
Declan's hiccups and sniffles silenced and soft puffs of air blew against my neck as he fell asleep again. I looked at my sister and she gave me a small smile as she pointed over her shoulder and I nodded as I laid Declan down on his crib again.
Once I knew he wouldn't wake up, I grabbed ny crutches and stood up before following Bailey out of my room and closing the door softly behind me once I had the portable baby monitor hooked to my pocket.
"What did you want to say when you barged into ny room?" I asked Bailey as we descended the stairs and walked to the living room.
"You've been home for a week, Enzo," she stated and I nodded, "and when you got here, Bella came to say hi but you didn't even acknowledge her which by the way is very rude of you." And okay she got a point.
I was a dick when she came to say hi when I got out of the hospital and came home. I should've greeted her better instead I was a complete asshole to her and walked away from her.
"I shouldn't have given her the cold shoulder when all she did was ask when I got back." She shook her head and sighed. "Why does it matter anyway? She won't speak to me after the way I treated her."
"She's gone for you, and you don't even realize that." Bailey said making me furrow my brows and she rolled her eyes, "it's easy to see that she's got a thing for you, Enzo. And it's easy to see that you do as well."
"She deserves someone who isn't crippled like me, Bailey." I said and she glared at me. She looked like our mother when she looked at me like that. Mom had yelled and slapped me and called me an idiot for even thinking I didn't deserve to be happy after losing my leg.
"You are not a cripple, Enzo," Bailey said as she blinked her eyes and I could see tears forming in them, and I hated making her and our mother cry. "You're an amputee, Enzo. That doesn't make you a cripple."
I swallowed the lump in my throat as I watched my sister break down. "And you deserved to be happy. And I know she's the one who will make you happy. Do you really think she'll care about you not having a leg?"
I bit my lip and looked away and sighed, "she didn't even react when she saw you were missing a leg, Enzo. She reacted more to home earlier than anticipated." She sighed and wiped her face form tears, "she likes you for you and not for what you're missing."
"She'll meet so—" I began but she cut me off
"She confessed she's in love with you, in that letter I gave you, didn't she?" She asked and clenched my jaw as I could still see the words she wrote in that letter.
I just want you to be mine. I want to be able to say that you're my guy. Well, now you know that I am secretly falling in love with you. I just wish I could hear those same words from you. Maybe one day I will, but until then I guess all I can do is wait. Please, don't make me wait too long!
"Man up, Enzo and just tell her."
*****
October 11,2020
Two days later as I went out for a walk, I saw Bella and her in-laws walking down the sidewalk pushing a stroller along and laughing with each other. She looked as breathtaking as the day I met her. Her hair was up in a messy bun and she wore an oversized jumper, black leggings and tan Burberry shoes. They were actually making their way down the sidewalk in the direction of where I was. Julia, noticed me first and elbowed Bella who looked up and stopped. She gave a small smile before she looked at her in-laws and continued to walk.
Bailey's words echoed in my head as they went to move past me but I stopped her.
"Bella," she looked up and I swallowed the lump that had formed in by throat as she stared at me. Milo and Nikko pulled Julia along leaving us alone. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" She asked as she titled her head her brows furrowed in confusion.
"For the way I treated you a few days ago when I got back." I said as I tried to balance myself as best as I could with the crutches and she shook her head.
"It's fin—"
"No, it's not," I said cutting her off and she blinked and I sighed, "I shouldn't have been cold towards you when you were just greeting me." She chewed on her bottom lip as she gently pushed the stroller when her baby began to make a noise. "I'm sure you've noticed my leg missing," she nodded.
"You read my letter, right?" She asked and I nodded, "even though I've only know you for a few months, I fell for you. And that hasn't changed even if you were cold towards me." I was surprised at her words and she smiled, "I noticed your leg as missing when you stepped out of your mother's car but I wanted to hear from you and I was hoping you would visit me or something to talk."
I nodded, I knew I could have visited her but I was being stubborn and an idiot.
"I don't care whether you've got a leg or three, Enzo," she spoke up when I didn't say anything, "what I care about is what's on the inside, right here," she said as she placed her hand in the middle of my chest where my heart was, "I like, no, I'm in love with you, Enzo."
"I-" I didn't know what to say to that so I did the most logical thing I could think of and pressed my lips against her—though is was awkward due to the crutches—making her gasp in surprise at the sudden action.
"Finally."