Maybe I shouldn't have been so excited about that next chapter, though.
On a rainy Friday afternoon, I was just packing up my things to head home when my manager, Liam, asked for a private chat. Private chats with Liam weren't unusual; he often followed up on my cases and checked in to see how my work was going, but on a Friday he always left early.
"You're still here!" I said, realising after that it sounded rude.
"Am indeed." He smiled.
"Sorry. You startled me. I thought I was the only one here." I said, as I followed him into his office.
"Take a seat." Liam said, looking glum.
"Is something wrong, Liam?"
"Kind of. Good for you, bad for me."
"Oh god. You aren't leaving, are you?"
"No, no. Lloyd & Sons is extending."
"Shit, that's great news. Why is it bad for you?"
"They want you to manage the new place."
I laughed as I realised Liam was telling me he would be sad if I left.
"And you know if I leave, no one will still be here at 8 p.m. when you forget something?"
"Exactly, Sophie." He laughed.
"I don't know if I could do that."
"You could. I know you could. You're a brilliant solicitor, Sophie. So dedicated. There is one other thing, though."
"Go on?"
"It's in London."
"It is?"
"Yes. Isn't that where your girlfriend is?"
"It is. I'll talk it over with my family and Leah and see what I think. How long do I have?"
"Monday."
"Monday?" My eyes widened.
"Yes, sorry. Not ideal, I know." He smiled.
"Okay, boss, thanks."
I exited the room feeling conflicted. Of course I wanted to be with Leah, but my whole family lives in Ireland. My life is in Ireland; I have built myself a life here—the house, the cars, my friends. How could I leave Olivia? She would be devastated.
As I wandered through the car park to my car, I checked my phone. I smiled as I saw Leah's name on my lock screen.
Leah
Are you still working, babe?
Sophie
Just leaving now. Liam wanted a meeting at the end of the day, so I got held up a bit.
Leah
Boss Liam? Doesn't he usually finish early on a Friday?
I laughed at Leah knowing this information, realising that I probably had complained about it once or twice.
Sophie
Yeah, that one. I'll fill you in when I'm home.
Leah
You're okay, though, right?
Sophie
I'm okay. I'll call you soon.
I lied. I definitely wasn't okay. I was completely torn. I couldn't wait to get home and talk to Leah about the meeting. If I told her my concerns, maybe she could help settle my mind a bit.
I had found with Hannah that I had thrown myself into situations that I maybe didn't want to, in the name of love. I didn't want to repeat history. I didn't want the big, fancy house; that was all for Hannah. When she left, I ended up in that house alone; if Leah had left and I was in London, it would have been so much worse. I'd be in London alone.
Once I had settled down on the sofa, I called Leah. As always, one or two rings, and the phone is picked up.
"Soph!" Leah said, I could practically hear her smile through the phone.
"Are you okay, Le?" I said softly.
"All good. Exhausted but didn't want to sleep without hearing your voice."
"I'm glad you didn't."
"What did Liam want?"
"They're opening a new one."
"A new?"
"Solicitors. They want me to manage it."
"Soph, that's amazing! I'm so proud of you. Wait, why do you sound so unhappy about it?"
"It's in London." I said, trying to maintain a neutral tone.
"London?!" Leah said excitedly.
"Yeah. I have a lot of thinking to do." I sighed.
"You do?"
"Yes. My whole family is here; my life is here." I said.
"Ah, I see. Well, just do what's right for you, I guess." Leah snapped.
"Don't be like that, Le." I pleaded.
"I'm not being like anything. I'm tired and need to sleep. Goodnight, Soph." She said, as I heard those three beeps to let me know the call was over.
I didn't sleep much that night, constantly checking my phone for a text or call from Leah that never came. I understood why she was upset; we constantly talked of our wish that we could be on the same land. I did want to be near her, but it was a life-changing decision. One that I wasn't sure I was ready to make.
I headed to Dad's house the next afternoon, knowing Rhys would be home from football by now. Pulling into the driveway felt weird; it didn't feel like normal. I worried that I would hurt them by telling them that I was even considering the move.
"Sophie, to what do we owe this pleasure?" My dad grinned at me.
"Hi Dad." I smiled, kissing his cheek.
"She missed her brother." Rhys smirked.
I simply rolled my eyes at his comment, asking them both to sit down and explaining the news to them. I was met with silence for a few seconds, adding to my nerves, before Rhys stormed out of the room.
"Leave him." My dad spoke sternly, gesturing for me to return to the seat I was in before I attempted to go after Rhys.
"But -"
"But nothing. I love you, and I'll miss you more than anything." Dad said tearfully.
"I haven't even decided if I'm going yet; I was hoping to talk it over with... well, with both of you."
"He just relies on you a lot. Too much."
"Yeah. That's what siblings do, though."
"What has Leah said?"
"To do what's right for me. She's upset that it wasn't an immediate yes." I sighed.
"You two won't survive distance forever, Sophie. At one point, one of you will have to move."
"I know, but "one of us" doesn't come into it; it's just me. It's me that has to uproot my life, and now that I have to make that decision, I'm not sure I can go."
"It's a short flight away; there's a tiny bit of ocean between us. I want you to be happy. Leah makes you happy. Your job makes you happy. It sounds like the perfect ending to me." Dad pulled me into a hug.
"I love you, Dad. As soon as I know, you'll know. I promise." I whispered.
"Go. Start your life with her." My dad whispered back.
My dad always knew what to say. Mum was away a lot in recent years, so he dealt with his fair share of drama during my split with Hannah. He made me think about the idea that Leah could be my future. The idea that this could be the part where Leah and I started a new life together. Just as I was beginning to come around to the idea, Rhys walked slowly back into the room.
"Rhys?" I said quietly.
"What're you going to tell Olivia? Auntie Sophie is moving to England for a girl she's known forfive fucking minutes?" He scoffed.
"That's not fair." I sighed.
"What's not fair is that you wouldn't even have considered this before her. What makes her so untouchable that you have to be the one to move?"
"You know that she can't. There are no teams here."
"And if there were? Do you think she would leave her family for you? Her mum that she sees all the time, the support of her friends, her brother? I want you to be happy, Sophie, but you aren't taking this job for yourself; you're taking it for Leah. Someone who wouldn't do the same for you. You need to realise that." He said firmly.
"You don't know that." I snapped back.
"You do, though."
"Oh, fuck off!" I defensively burst back before leaving the house.
I didn't tell him to fuck off because of what he said; I said it because a large part of me believed it. Even if Leah wasn't a footballer, she wouldn't move her life for me. She wouldn't agree to be away from her family for the rest of her life. So why was it something she felt I should do without thinking? She made one comment about football teams in Ireland, but since then, when we talk of the future, it's always been that I will move to England. There has never even been a mention that once she stops playing, we could potentially move to Ireland.
As I drove home, the lights of incoming cars were made blurry by the tears in my eyes. I drove a little more before pulling into a lay-by, knowing it wasn't safe for me to drive when I was so upset. I tried to collect my thoughts, but nothing seemed to work. I pulled out my phone, noticing that Leah had texted me. I presumed it would be the score of the match she had today, or maybe an angry text about the fact I didn't even text her good luck.
Leah
Are you at home? I was hoping we could talk.
Sophie
I will be soon. Are you free then?
Leah
For you, always.
As much as I didn't want it to, Leah's message made me smile for a brief second before Rhys' words ran through my brain again. Someone who wouldn't do the same for you. I needed this talk with Leah; I needed to discuss this with her before I let my mind decide whether or not that was true.
For the rest of the journey home, small tears fell from my cheeks, but I could see the road ahead clearly. I pulled into my own driveway, taking in the sight of my house in front of me and wondering whether or not I would be here this time next month. I sighed as I opened the car door, hating that I left without making up with my brother.
I walked towards the front door before hearing a familiar voice and seeing a shivering body sitting on my doorstep.
"You took your time." Leah smiled.
"Leah? What're you doing here?" I said as I moved closer to her.
"Sophie! You've been crying. What's wrong?" She said, immediately standing up and pulling me into her.
"Family argument. Let's get you inside; it's freezing out here."
I brought Leah inside, wrapping her up in the throw that I kept in the living room. I wondered if she had noticed that I hadn't kissed her yet, but I couldn't. I wasn't ready to kiss her for the last time, not yet.
"Didn't you play today?" I asked.
"I did. Left straight after the game to catch my flight."
"You didn't have to do that."
"I wanted to." Leah smiled, a confused look on her face, as I took a seat on the chair rather than beside her.
"I appreciate it. The effort." I said, not knowing what else to say.
"You're being so weird, Soph. What's going on? I know I was a bit huffy last night, but surely you can see why I might've been disappointed?" Leah started the conversation I had been delaying.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Of course, anything."
"Why does it have to be me? The one that uproots my life leaves my family."
"It doesn't have to be you. If you don't want to, then don't. I'm not going to hate you for it."
"It does, though. If you weren't a football player, it would still be me. You would never leave your family for me. It's just easier to hide that because of your career."
"What the fuck?" Leah said, screwing her face up at me, her eyes getting angry.
"It's what I think." I whispered.
"What's even the point in this, then? Fuck. I am so stupid; why did I even come here? I thought you loved me. I thought you knew who I was; I thought you trusted me." Leah said, her voice more angry than upset.
"I do love you, know you, and trust you." I questioned.
"Yeah? Then how can you even think that I would expect you to do something that I wouldn't do if I had the choice?" Leah said, her tone letting me know that this was a rhetorical question.
"I'm guessing you want space?" I sighed.
"Yeah. I do." Leah huffed.
I headed upstairs, tears freely falling from my face. I still didn't really believe her. I wondered if her anger was defensiveness because she knew that I was right. I collapsed onto my bed, rummaging around until I got myself under the covers and quietly sobbing over the argument with Leah.
A short time later, I heard Leah climbing the stairs. My body was longing to be held by her, but I quickly realised that wouldn't be happening. I heard the door of the bedroom next door open and the thud of Leah's bag hitting the floor echoing around the house. Leah wasn't coming to bed; she was probably booked on the first flight home the following morning. I buried my head into the pillows, silently sobbing until my eyes were too heavy to fight sleep any longer.