Sebastian hadn't been surprised when Stefan walked past him after the meeting. He looked impassive, Sebastian deserved that. Wasn't he behaving like an asshole towards Stefan all this time. It was normal that his mate was hurt. Sebastian knew that Stefan "Knew" about Kevin. Sebastian didn't ever bothered to hide it. He didn't wanted to give false hope to Stefan. Because Stefan deserved better. He deserved a better mate than him.
Still, he had hoped that Stefan would talk with him after everything. It was selfish of him. He hated himself for it. But he still wished that his mate looked at him. And Stefan always did. He stood by Sebastian at every step even if it hurt him. But now as Stefan didn't even bothered to look at him.
Sebastian felt restless somehow. And he had a headache brewing. He could only imagine that seeing Stefan again would help.
The man was stressful. Still Sebastian had never felt so conflicted about anything as he did about going after Stefan.
Some days, he would miss the company Stefan gave him. But then again he didn't wanted to be near him.
Other times, he would remember the scent of the man's skin, the cold of his hand as he pulled Sebastian from slumber. He missed him somewhat.
Perhaps, instead, it would be better to just go home instead of lingering at the office
To his surprise he could smell the scent of his mate the moment he arrived
He should have remembered that Stefan was nothing if not contrary.
Sebastian went inside his bedroom and saw his mate packing the small amount of the things he kept at his place.
Storming across the room still not sparing him a glance, Stefan went around the bed. Only to stop when Sebastian coughed.
"What?," Stefan said.
This wasn't what Sebastian had been expecting. To come home and find Stefan packing away his things.
"Steff?" he asked.
Stefan glared. "I just came in to take my things."
Sebastian nodded dumbly, "Ohh."
And he moved towards. Close enough to inhale a breath full of Stefan's scent. Scent of the snowdrops with icy sweetness , lashing and cold and briskly soothing. Sebastian hated how much he liked it.
It was infuriating. And it wasn't. Whatever it was, Sebastian should be better than this, shouldn't like this
But he wasn't. And he wanted to talk with Stefan. Now that Stefan stood before him, Sebastian could barely take his eyes off him. Could feel himself being swallowed with guilt. He wanted to say something about the coup to Stefan. He wanted to help Stefan save the Pack. He wanted Stefan to look at him. But He still wanted the Demon gone.
Stefan stacked his clothes together. He could feel Sebastian's eyes on him. But he was too much hurt to talk to him. He just wanted to avoid him.
"So how are you ?" Sebastian asked.
"What is it with you ?," Stefan snapped back. "I will just pack and leave, don't bother"
"Been that busy?" Sebastian asked, and Stefan's flat stare was answer enough. "You are working hard." He added awkwardly.
Stefan sighed heavily, annoyed
"How nice of you to notice!."
The sarcasm was there, but Sebastian chose to ignore it. He'd never seen Stefan so unbalanced, so furious and emotional and present, not even when they'd fought, or even when they'd fucked.
"Can't you just look at me, while we talk."
A strong exhale, not quite a sigh, but definitely exasperation. Stefan said, "I don't have the time to do that."
"Ah," Sebastian said as something tugged at his heart. He didn't understand it, not at all. That couldn't be it. He felt Stefan pain just for a moment. "Stefan."
Finally, Stefan stopped looking for whatever it was he was trying to stack stopped everything, and looked up at him, eyebrow raised. He looked unbothered. But Sebastian could feel a sharp pain and his heart broke. And Sebastian understood. Stefan had chosen to give up on him. The thought unnerved him but he couldn't do anything else. All the thoughts started flashing before. How much he had hurt his mate. The mate he was supposed to love and cherish.
"What the hell do you want? Sebastian?"
"Nothing," Sebastian said and blinked "Thank you so much" for loving me all this time
There was nothing he could ask from his mate. Who had already given him his everything.
Stefan didn't quite know what to do with the simple appreciation it ran so counter to his usual encounters with Sebastian. He crossed his arms and shifted his weight under his mate's gaze.
"Why?."
"Just cause you deserve it."
"What?" Stefan asked because he heard what Sebastian had said, but it didn't make sense.
"You deserve to be thanked."
The words left his mouth without him really thinking about them.
"You are not making any sense Sebastian"
Sebastian knew how things were going to be. He knew that he hasn't been the best mate, he knew that he still hated the Demon, he knew that he still loved Kevin, he knew that all he wanted to do now was fruitless. Still he didn't wanted Stefan to hurt anymore.
Something about seeing Stefan here in his room, where Sebastian had been waiting for him, with the all encompassing feeling of his mate being two feet from him, had immediately clouded his judgement. He couldn't focus on anything but Stefan and all of the thousands of contradictions and wants and guilts he represented just by existing.
"... Sorry," Sebastian said as strange emotions started spiralling his mind.
Stefan glared at him.
"Shut up," he said
Sebastian could no longer think about anything else. He reached out to his mate and pulled him into a kiss.
The kiss, if he could call it that, was bitting, and fierce, more teeth and tongue than tender lips and it was like fire.
Sebastian realised that this had been waiting for, but it felt wrong somehow. Like Stefan was hurt and avoiding, and they shouldn't be doing this, should never have done this, but-
Even with that knowledge, Sebastian couldn't pull back.
The temptation to drown was so strong.
"Wait," Stefan said, stopping Sebastian's hands from where they'd gone to claw under his clothes. "Sebastian, we shouldn't-"
"No" Sebastian snapped out. "No"
The furiously snide tone made Stefan's temper rise
He was trying to stop it. It was clear at least that Sebastian didn't wanted him in the slightest.
"Stop" he tried again anyways, tried to stamp down the feeling and be rational, but Sebastian was having none of that.
"Please."
Stefan couldn't ignore the tremor he felt when heard his mate's plea. He had never seen Sebastian behave so desparate with him. Sure he was aggressive with sex. But never like this. It felt as if Sebastian actually wanted him.
Maybe that was what he had been waiting for in the first place. If there was one thing that this... thing he had with Sebastian actually achieved was a moment.Only this.
It was consuming.
But knew the truth, and he knew it would be over soon. With all the sleepless nights he sat thinking atlast he had decided to revoke the bond. He still needed to speak to Kevin to tell him about his decision. But it was almost set in the stone. And Stefan won't waver from it.
Sebastian's expression was desparate as Stefan pushed him away. He racked his brain for words, but he didn't know what to say. Then, Stefan smiled at him. He looked so beautiful. Sebastian could only stare at him.
Ah.
This, this emotion left him shaking, he just wanted to protect that smile. Although it's too late.
But Stefan stepped forward to put his hands on his shoulders "You can already sense what I am going to do. I know your beast is agitated and nothing you do will change my mind, but all these years I have loved you so can you grant me a wish?" Stefan said as he hugged him.
Sebastian could only nod as he felt his mate's heartbreak again. He felt like clawing at his heart. It was so painful.
"Tonight," Stefan whispered against Sebastian's neck. "Pretend you are mine. I do not care if you hate me, find our matebond repulsive, but tonight please act as if you are mine."
It was a plea, embarrassing and weak, but Stefan had to ask it all the same. He only had this one night-he would never have another.
Sebastian kissed his neck. "Okay."
"Mmm," whispered and tilted his neck further, obediently to the side. To make it easier for Sebastian to mouth at, and for a moment all Sebastian could swallow his tears and kiss his mate.
"Love," Sebastian said, allowing himself to sink into the illusion as easily as Stefan had done. To act as the lover that Stefan dreamt of having. And it that moment Sebastian wanted it all, all the times he had ignored his mate, lusting after his brother, leaving his mate with heartbreak, Sebastian wanted all those times back . But he could't so he would get to take this night, and he pressed another kiss to that neck. Open mouthed to lave and suck, and Stefan's skin darkened easily with his marks. Stefan leaned further back into Sebastian's chest as if he needed support.
"So beautiful," Sebastian whispered into that ear and then nipped at that lobe in tease. "You are so beautiful."
And Stefan turned his head to the side. Sebastian kissed him again.
"Sebastian" Stefan said, quiet and softly. There was a pained look to his face.
"Lets move to the bed," Sebastian said, barely recognizing the growl in his throat, and he pulled Stefan towards the bed. And spread him across the sheets
"Let me open you up" Sebastian said, hurriedly undressing himself as well as his mate"Let me see you."
Stefan gazed up at him, then he seemed to spread himself better on the bed.
"You're so lovely," Sebastian said, pressing another kiss to Stefan's mouth. "So goddamn lovely."
It was easy to worship that skin. To apply his mouth and fingers to making his mate insensate with pleasure. Stefan writhed beneath Sebastian's ministrations, reacted beautifully-responses that were gratifying and delightful and that only he had known. To see how sensitive those nipples were with just a brush of finger. To feel the way the muscles on that flat stomach jumped against his tongue dragging over it. Sebastian felt as if his heart would burst. Why hadn't he appreciated his mate before? Only to know his worth when he decided to leave. Stefan would never forgive him. And Sebastian knew better. Stefan deserved better. So much better.
Stefan's hands were in his hair, and they gripped tightly when Sebastian sank his mouth over his cock.
"Seb-as-" Stefan's hips jerked, and he peaked quicker than Sebastian had imagined it would take. Still, he swallowed every bit of his mate's cum.
Sebastian reached for his hole. As he felt slick leaking the entrance.
"You are already so wet down there," he whispered and pressed a finger against that hole. He rubbed just a little before capturing Stefan's mouth once more. To kiss and to distract how the tip of his finger pushed in.
"Yes! Oh, yes." Stefan pushed back onto his fingers, and Sebastian could barely finish preparing his mate.
Sebastian panted. He slowly started to push his cock in. Stefan shoved his hips up suddenly. Took his entire length.
"Ahh," Stefan blinked, damp tears in his eyes.
"Fuck," Sebastian said, and he fought not to fuck into that heat. And waited for Stefan to adjust to him.
"Move ," Stefan murmured. "Now"
"Tell me if it hurts," and it was easy to start a rhythm. When his every being wanted to make to make Stefan stay with him forever. To get in deep and fuck Stefan hard until the man could not walk away from him. But he had lost the right long ago
"It doesn't," Stefan sighed. "It feels..."
"Good," Sebastian choked. " So Good."
Stefan felt so good and Sebastian quickened his thrusts.
"More. Please, Seb. Harder."
And Sebastian obliged. Met every demand and whim until Stefan came with a cry, with Sebastian's name on his lip.
Sebastian had never peaked harder in his life. He smiled at Stefan. As he felt suffocated with warmth. And he knew at that moment that he was already in love with his mate despite loving Kevin. His heart hammered and pained at the thought of Stefan revoking the bond. But he could only watch.
As Stefan got up and washed himself in the bath.
He watched as his mate got dressed and packed his remaining things.
Then Stefan looked at him and smiled
"Shame it was only one time, goodbye Sebastian" he whispered and left.
Sebastian kept watching him leave. As he bit his tongue to keep himself from calling out. Till he tasted blood.