It was early. 4:30 am early. But I couldn't sleep after my diagnosis and Cissy couldn't sleep without me so we were both awake. I had been upstairs on the balcony while Cissa was downstairs in the library curled up in the armchair by the fire. Demetria had stayed with me, knowing I was in distress and needed her comforting presence. But as I bolted downstairs, she scampered after as me, thrilled to see mummy Cissa who would give her affectionate cuddles.
"Do you love me?"
Without looking up from the daily prophet in her hands, Narcissa replied with an "of course I love you darling."
I couldn't stop my tears. The flood gate was open now and I was completely powerless to stop them.
"Do you promise?" I asked again, trying to hide the tears laced in my voice. Demi cocked her fluffy head at me and brushed up against my legs.
Hearing the change in my voice, Narcissa looked up and saw my state, immediately rushing over to me, causing the fox to leap out of the way and curl up by the fire to fall asleep.
"Bumblebee? What kind of questions are these? Of course I love you. I love you with all my heart! I promise." She said gently, taking my hands in hers as I averted her gaze.
I didn't say anything, trying not to make any sound. I didn't want to break down in front of my wife this early in the morning.
"Darling... look at me."
I shook my head, keeping my eyes firmly shut, head tilted towards the ground.
"Please?" She whispered, cupping my cheek.
Despite my head telling me otherwise, I did as she asked and immediately broke down.
"Oh baby..." Narcissa said sadly, pulling me into her arms, leading me to the couch where she pulled me to lay on-top of her as I cried.
"S-sorry C-cissa..." I choked.
"Hush now. None of that." She replied, holding me tight, doing the little things I enjoyed that brought me immense comfort.
I began to relax as I felt safe again, nuzzled in my witch's arms.
"Shhh. I've got you love. I'm here. I'm right here. I love you bumblebee. I love you so much." She cooed as I calmed down.
We laid in silence for a few moments before she finally spoke.
"Whats brought this on dear?"
I took a deep breath, settling on my response before actually saying it outloud.
"I... Sometimes I forget I'm loved by someone so deeply. By someone who doesn't expect me to be strong all the time. By someone who gives me the love I desperately crave. I just... sometimes I think its too good to be true."
She squeezed me a bit tighter.
"Its not too good to be true Eda. You're so easy to love. I know your parents messed you up, but you are worthy of love. And I will give you all my love. Until my dying breath." Narcissa said, reassuringly.
"And I you."
"Did you hear from your mum? Is that why you're feeling so low?" Cissy asked gently.
I nodded.
"I don't want to talk about it."
Narcissa pressed a kiss to my head as she continued to hold me tight.
"You don't have to my love. I'm right here no matter what. When you're ready to speak about it, we can. But I do love you so very much."
"I love you too." I sighed.
——
Narcissa didn't let me out of her sight for the rest of the day. Instead of going out shopping like she planned, she sat with me on the couch as I wrote my lesson plan for next week. She sat next to me, reading her book as I put my mind to work.
"I know that you're struggling baby. But I am so proud of you. So so proud of you. You continue fighting everyday despite the physical and mental pain and you are so incredibly brave. I am so proud to be your wife bumblebee. I love you with all my heart."
——
"My mom called today."
Cissy was stroking my hair as I laid between her legs in bed, finally recovering from the second round of my hysterics.
"You mentioned that. Are you ready to talk about it?" She asked gently.
I nodded and took a deep breath.
"You know how I had that appointment? With my OB. For a surgery consultation and a follow up ultrasound to discuss the cysts in my uterus?"
"Yes. You didn't say anything about it so I assumed you'd speak to me about it when you were ready. Should I have not given you space?" She asked, her voice holding regret.
I shook my head.
"No. I'm grateful you did. I honestly didn't know how to tell you what they found. But it wasnt good. I texted my mom and asked her to call me. Twice. And after 3 hours of waiting with no response, I texted again telling her what they found and what they said about the surgery since she didn't bother answering. So she texted right back and asked to call me. And I was speaking to Andy so I told her I was talking to someone else, and she said she had 10 minutes and asked if I could call. So I did. And when I asked her why in gods name it took her 3 hours to reply since it was 8pm there and 4 am here, she said she was busy talking to my sister. On the phone. Because my sister missed her and she was upset. And I told her I didn't give a fuck that my sister missed her. I needed my mom. I needed her to care about me too. I'm her fucking child too Cissa! And she didn't have the fucking decency to call me after I HAD A SURGERY CONSULTATION! AFTER I HAD A FOLLOW UP ULTRASOUND OVER CYSTS IN MY UTERUS! THEY FOUND FOLLICLES CISSA! 20 & 25! I HAVE POLYCYSTIC OVARIAN SYNDROME AS WELL AS ENDOMETRIOSIS! I- I'm basically infertile! And-" I was crying again. Narcissa made a gasping noise and held me tighter but I was angry and hurt and above all, devastated.
"Edaline... I'm so sorry."
"Cissa the worst part is that she has never once listened to me! She had no idea about my fear of infertility! And I told her so many times! And I lost my shit. I asked her why I wasn't good enough for her. What I did to her! And she changed the subject and tried to keep her cool because a friend was in the room with her! I had one of the most devastating days of my life! My health! I haven't had surgery before and I'm terrified! And she called my fucking sister instead! My mother doesn't love me as much as my sister and I don't know what I ever did to deserve it! Let alone, I MIGHT BE INFERTILE! I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO GIVE US CHILDREN! And she didn't care! SHES NEVER CARED!"
Narcissa couldn't do or say anything but watch me lose it. And I lost it hard. I was off the bed and pacing around the room, raging. I wanted so badly to break something. Anything. Destroy everything in the room except the bed with Narcissa in it. But I would never do anything to cause her harm or instill fear or distrust.
Narcissa seemed to sense this and she moved off the bed to stand across from me.
"Eda. Lets do something different. I'm going to cast a shielding charm around us. You are going to break any or every object you want to in this room and then we're going to use magic to fix it. Get all that anger, hurt, despair, and rage out. We'll talk about your diagnosis later. Sound good?" She asked.
"I don't want to scare you. Or god forbid the spell fails and I hurt you!"
"Baby I broke rooms in the manor all the time when I was angry or hurt. It won't scare me. And my spells have never failed. Ever." She assured me.
"Promise me that you'll leave if I ask. I cannot lose you. Ever. You're all I have left Cissy." I begged.
She reluctantly nodded, whispered her promise and kissed me.
"Protego." She cast. Creating a shield around us.
"Go ham darling."
And I did. I began casting spells, breaking, chairs, paintings, the fire place etc. and then I stopped with the magic and threw vases against the wall and punched a hole through the wall before finally, taking the picture of my mom and I off the fireplace ledge and smashed it to the ground.
Narcissa's eyes widened.
I loved that picture. Even if she treated me horribly, the picture of my mom and I was a favorite. But none of that mattered now. Not after she showed her true colors to me for the last time. I took the non moving photo out, ripped it into tiny bits and threw them into the unlit fire place.
With tears in my eyes and a look of pure unbridled rage on my face, I raised my wand.
"Incen-"
"Edaline wait!"
I whipped around to see Narcissa who was now holding my arm.
"What?!" I growled.
She backed off slightly and I felt awful.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"
"You didn't scare me because of your rage bumblebee. Rage is normal. I'm worried you're going to regret what you're doing. I despise your mother Eda. I really do. I think she's awful for treating you the way she does. But you love her. And you have every right to be angry my love. But I know you. And you will beat yourself up for burning that. Don't do that to yourself bumblebee. I don't want to see you suffer anymore."
I nodded and lowered my wand.
"I want her to feel it Narcissa. I want her to feel the heartbreak of knowing she's lost her daughter because of her actions. She failed me. I want her to know she's failed me. Maybe that will inspire her to do better with my sister." I said shakily.
"I know baby. But she won't change. She failed you as a mum. But you didn't fail as a daughter. And I know she's hurt you beyond repair, but I love the person you are. She may not, but I do. And so does everyone else."
Narcissa had one arm around my waist about to cast a repairo charm but I stopped her, moving to the fireplace. I snapped a photo of the picture in shreds and sent it to my mom with a text that simply said: you failed.
Narcissa offered me an arm for support, which I gratefully took and allowed her to hold me as she put the room back together perfectly, save for the pieces of picture. She magicked them into a box and put it away in our closet.
"That ought to be clear enough. I don't want her in my life anymore." I said shakily.
Narcissa led me back to bed and held me tight, turning on a movie for us.
My mom had sent me loads of texts, demanding I answer her. And it hurt to ignore them. I felt guilty. But Cissy kept me strong, reminding me that I'm an adult and don't owe her shit. I blocked her from my phone that night and as much as it tormented me for a few weeks, I finally felt free. I have my chosen family. And part of my biological family.
My dad had called me, demanding to know how I could disrespect my own mother like that. I laughed in his face and told him to kiss my ass. I blocked him too.
I was in the kitchen about two weeks after I blocked my mother when I got a call from my Mimi. I had told her the basics of what had happened and while she didn't appreciate the blocking, she understood the need for me to cut my mom out.
"Hey Mimi!" I said happily, grateful to hear my grandma's voice.
"I know you hate me. But can we talk?"
My stomach plummeted to my toes. It was mother. She hijacked my Mimi's phone to call me.
I hung up without another word, only for the phone to ring again. Call denied. But it rang again. Call denied. And again. Call denied.
It rang for a fourth time and I decided to answer and tell her to fuck off.
"Can we talk?" She asked desperately.
I didn't reply. I couldn't do this again. I was starting to get angry.
"I love you Edaline. I will always love you. Despite what you think, I have always loved you."
I let out a humorless laugh.
"Prove it." I growled, hanging up immediately.
Narcissa wasn't home but my emotions woke Demetria up and she trotted over to me, brushing against my legs like a cat.
I picked her up and kissed her nose.
She licked my stray tears away and I carried her to the couch letting her lay on my chest to sleep, somehow comforting me and napping all in one. I had South Park on the Tv. Not that I was watching it, but it helped having something on in the background.
Dem noticed my off emotions and gave a soft yiff and curled into me.
I pet her soft head and ears over and over again til I felt better.
——
3rd person POV
Narcissa arrived home an hour later to find Edaline and Dem on the couch conked out snuggling together with that horrid cartoon South Park on the TV. She couldn't help but smile at her lover and her fur baby.
She snapped a picture of the two before moving over to kiss her lover on the cheek.
——
My surgery was scheduled for march 30th at 6pm and could take anywhere from 30 minutes to six hours... hopefully not six hours. I had told my Mimi and we had told Andy and Draco about it since we wouldn't be around that night. Andy had volunteered to get the house ready for us so Cissy could take care of me in my drugged up state.
Andy was excited to see me out of it because I say wacky shit when I'm high but Narcissa was terrified.
"What if something goes wrong Eda???" Or "I know its an easy surgery but what of they mess up?! I can't lose you!"
I spent days showing her case studies and risk factors of the surgery hoping it would calm her down... but it didn't.
We were leaving for the hospital when she grabbed me and hugged me tighter than ever before. Borderline suffocated me.
"Can't breathe Cissa." I gasped.
She loosened her grip and kissed me with teary eyes.
"Sorry. Its just... I'm scared bumblebee."
"I know baby. I'm going to be fine though. I promise. And we'll be together again as soon as its over." I cooed, pressing kisses to her head.
Andy apparated us to muggle London and dropped us off in a car at the hospital.
"I'll be back when Cissa texts me ok? Good luck Eda. You'll be fine."
——
Narcissa had just come into my room. At least thats what the nurse told me.
"Miss Black?"
"Mmm?" I groaned, moving my head to look at her.
"Your wife is here to take you home."
"Mmm N'Cissa?" I groaned softly.
"Hello bumblebee." She croaked, happy tears streaming down her face as she kissed me softly.
"I shou geh surgery more offen if I geh tears an Kisses from yoh." I slurred.
"No. No you absolutely should not." Narcissa said sternly.
"She's still waking up from her anesthesia. We're gonna get her a wheel chair." The nurse said.
Narcissa nodded and sat next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder as she peppered my face with kisses.
"I'm so happy you're alive my love."
"Me too." I croaked.
We enjoyed the moment of silence between us. I was completely out of it, exhausted and a little high from the drugs they gave me.
The nurses came back in a few minutes later to help me get dressed.
They helped me into the wheelchair and wheeled me out to the front. I was so out of it, I didn't register anyone in front of me until Narcissa gasped and froze.
"Edaline?"
I looked up to see a familiar woman in the lobby.
"Cissa?"
My wife looked down at me terrified and angry and I returned the look tenfold.
"Is tha my fuckin mom?"
I remember nothing else except waking up in my bed, with a snoozing ball of white fluff that was my fur daughter.
Immediately, pain filled my body.
I let out a moan of discomfort, causing Demetria to pop her head up from the ball she was curled in on my lap.
"Yiff!"
I gave the animal a broken Smile and gently stroked her head.
"I'm ok Dem. I'm ok. Wheres mummy? I need those Narcotics right about now."
"I'm here darling."
I looked up to see my beautiful wife gliding into the room, looking flustered and pissed off.
"Cissy? What time is it?"
"Its half past 9 my love. We got home about an hour ago." She cooed, brushing hair from my sweaty face giving me a small smile. "How are you feeling bumblebee?"
"It hurts." I whimpered.
She nodded and kissed my head.
"I'll get your pain killers." She said, waving her wand. She gave me a pill and summoned some water for me as I gulped it down.
It only took a moment for it to kick in and I felt immediate relief.
"Thats good shit." I grunted.
"Well they are narcotics baby." Cissy said, sitting beside me, stroking my hair affectionately.
"Yeah... I almost didn't let the doctor give them to me. I'm terrified of addiction."
"I know baby. But Andy told us the doctor wouldn't give you more than absolutely necessary. We'll ease you off of it by using your potions ok?"
"Mkay."
Dem snuggled up next to me, her bushy tail landing over my eyes like and eye pillow.
"Dem!"
Narcissa was laughing at our baby's antics as I moved it off my face.
"Cissy... was I hallucinating or was my mom at the hospital?"
Cissy went quiet, almost on edge for a moment before responding.
"She was. Actually darling... I'm so sorry. I really didn't want it to come to this. But she's downstairs in the guest room."
Cissy braced herself for my outbursts but I took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.
"Its ok. I did tell her to "prove it.". She must have really wanted to prove it if she flew all the way to london for my surgery."
Narcissa gave me a small smile.
"You're a more forgiving woman than I am my love. Your bleeding heart is one of the things I love about you most. But please." She took both my hands. "Don't let this ruin your progress. Stand your ground if she crosses the line. I'll support you 100%."
I couldn't move all that much, but I leaned up just enough to peck her lips.
"I won't. I love you so much dove."
"And I, you." She replied, leaning her head against mine.
"Is Andy still here?" I asked, giving Dem some pets.
"She is. She's staying in the second guest room tonight. Is that ok?"
"Of course! Thank merlin she is. I might need a mediator tomorrow because I know you will defend my honor til the end of time my knightess in shining armor."
Narcissa giggled.
"Damn right. Lets go to bed my love."
Narcissa snuggled up next to me, not in my arms as usual because of my recovery wounds, but she rested her head in the crook of my neck, on top of her hand and the other arm held mine tight.
I kissed her head, muttered an I love you, and dozed off quickly with Demetria curled on Narcissa's unused pillow.
——
I woke up to this scene exactly.
Narcissa was laying in bed next to me, holding Dem up pretending to fly her around like an broom, I had one eye cracked open as the sound effects Narcissa was making had woken me up. I then watched her pull the baby fox down and say in a hushed baby voice "aren't you just my precious wittle baby?? Wook at your wittle nose!" And then she proceeded to violently attack our childs face with kisses, prompting a fox laugh from said child.
"Shhh! We don't want to wake mum up do we?"
Dem let out a whine.
"Too late. Mum is already awake. And mum is showing Andy everything via legillimancey later."
Narcissa turned to me and gave a mock serious glare.
"You wouldn't dare."
I smirked.
"I would in fact dare. Because mummy" I pointed a finger at her. "Decided to wake me up with broom flying noises."
"I did no such thing. You have no proof." She retorted, kissing Demi's head.
"Cissa I literally watched it happen!" I cackled.
"Oh I'm never going to hear the end of it from her. And good morning my love." She said, leaning in for our good morning kiss.
I would never say no to a kiss from my wife so I eagerly responded.
When we separated, Narcissa laid her head on my chest and let out a sigh.
"Are you ready to face your mum?" She asked, drawing lazy circles on one of my arms.
"I'm never ready. But I have to." I replied.
She moved her hand to mine and interlocked our fingers, giving a tight squeeze.
"You don't. You don't owe her anything. I can go kick her out right now. You don't have to do this if you don't want to." She said seriously.
I squeezed back and gave her a kiss.
"I know baby. But she came all this way. That says something doesn't it? I need to do this, if nothing else, for closure."
"I will support you 100%. No matter what. I have your back, always." She said firmly.
"And I, you. You're my world Cissa."
After 10 minutes of laying in bed, watching Dem get up to chase her tail and bounce on the mattress, which promptly sent us into a fit of giggles, we got up for the day. Cissy helped me downstairs, not bothering to help me into fresh clothes as I would probably be back for a nap in a few hours.
Demetria trailed behind us as Cissy helped me walk into the kitchen.
"Well good morning sleeping beauty! Oh! And good morning to you too Maleficent."Andy said cheerily from her spot at the table where she had a copy of the daily prophet in one hand and a cup of tea in the other.
"Har har Andy." Narcissa said with an eye-roll.
Narcissa helped me into a chair at the table despite my protests that I was fine.
"Salazars snake Eda. Let me take care of you for once. Please?"
I relented with a nod and a kiss on her cheek, making her blush.
"Calm down Cissa. Your face is redder than a baboons arse." Andy snorted.
Narcissa said nothing as she made her way to the kettle but Andy yelped at her wordless stinging hex.
"Bitch." She muttered. "So! How are you feeling?"
Andy's eyes held concern and I couldn't help but feel loved.
"I'm alright I'm getting that nasty pain back but Cissy has been such an angel taking care of me. Thank you for the transportation."
Andy waved me off.
"It was no trouble. I'm glad you're alright. But Cissy said there was too much and the doctor wants you to go in for a more aggressive procedure?"
I nodded.
"I'm not sure if I want that. I want children in the future and with my next to impossible chances of pregnancy now, a surgery like that could make me infertile if something went wrong. Its a discussion for later." I said.
Andy's hand found mine, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"Its going to be alright. I promise."
I murmured a thank you as Narcissa brought our tea over and sat down next to me.
"It will be. Andy is right. There are so many magical treatments we could try. Don't lose hope bumblebee." My wife said giving me a small smile which I returned.
I nodded and leaned my head on her shoulder.
"Hey Andy, wheres my mom?"
"She's in the garden, told me to tell you she wants to talk when you're feeling up to it."
I nodded and thanked her, getting up with Cissa's help.
She helped me to the back door and outside where I saw my mother sitting on the porch swing looking out past the garden to the sea on this cloudy morning.
She looked my way when the door closed but said nothing as Narcissa walked me to the swing.
"Ive got it from here dove. Thank you." I said gently, giving Narcissa the "I'll be ok." Look.
She nodded.
"I'm just inside if you need me ok?"
"Thank you baby."
She took her leave, leaving me and my mom sitting on the swing in silence.
"Why are you here?" I whispered, my voice cracking a bit as I spoke the words I feared the answer to.
She turned to face me, emotion evident on her face.
"I'm here for you. You told me to prove it. To prove how much I love you. I couldn't think of a better way than to fly across the world to see you. And to care for you after the surgery."
I nodded.
"Ok."
She was silent for a moment before taking my hand and holding it in her own.
"I was never the mother you needed. The mother you deserved. And I truly don't know why I could never give you what you needed. And I am so sorry for that. You did deserve so much better."
I nodded, still not meeting her gaze as she spoke.
"Look at me. Please." She whispered.
I looked up with tear glazed eyes. Her eyes held tears as well.
"I know an apology doesn't make up for over two decades of hurt and turmoil, but I hope this can be a start." She said shakily.
I nodded again.
"Its a start. I appreciate you recognizing that it won't happen overnight. I love you mom. And I want a better future for us. But thats not going to happen if things don't change."
"I'm working on it Edaline. Truly. I'm seeing a therapist and I want you to know that despite my actions, I never meant to make you feel unloved, or worthless, or like you are a burden. You are my daughter and I love you very much. I'm so sorry."
"I accept your apology mom. And I will work on forgiving you. For now, you being here is a start. A good start. Now Narcissa is skeptical. And she probably won't be warm. But she will be civil. But my wife has my back. And she will not hesitate to defend me. But I have asked her to be nice."
My mom nodded and pulled me into a side hug as to not hurt me further. She kissed my temple, and we just sat in silence, until Demetria decided to open the sliding door and run out to me, hopping into my lap.
"Woah! Ok hi Dem."
"Yiff!"
I laughed, and my mom look a little freaked out before she saw the baby fox roll on her back in my lap and give her fox laughs at my belly rubs.
"Who's this?"
"This is Demetria. Your grandfox. Narcissa spotted her at the pet shop a few months back and brought her home. Much to my surprise. But she's my baby, and Narcissa's entire personality trait has become being a fox mom."
"Dem! Demi where are- oh!"
"Ive got her Cissy. She wanted to say hello."
"She's absolutely adorable. I can see why you picked her Narcissa."
"She is isnt she. She's my perfect angel baby. So well behaved."
I snorted.
"Right. I suppose it was you who tore up your favorite pair of heels then?" I quipped.
"No it was Andy." She said.
"Right. And I'm Dumbledore." I said with an eyeroll.