It has now been one year since Leah and I shared that moment under the sky lit by fireworks. Things have been going well, my music career has really taken off meaning I have been on tour for a lot of the year but we spend as much time together as we can. Our relationship went public around a month after that night, we were spotted sharing a kiss in the car at the airport before I left for a gig in Germany and that was the beginning of fan accounts and persistent investigations.
We booked a holiday to Mauritius for our anniversary, I was so excited to spend proper time with Leah but I'm not sure she is enjoying it. Leah has never been one to overly use her phone, she scrolls instagram and Twitter like everyone else but she gets bored quickly and prefers to do more hands on activities, but since we got here she has been glued to it. At times, I have stopped speaking in the middle of a sentence and she hasn't even noticed, I'm not sure if she's just bored as there isn't much to do here besides relaxing and enjoying the beaches and sea. Maybe we had picked the wrong destination but she had always told me this was her dream holiday.
We decided to head for cocktails tonight, there's a little beach restaurant not far from our villa that looks cute so I'm really hoping that tonight we can talk like we used to, I miss her even though she's here with me. I decided to make an effort and get dressed up, wanting her to know that I still care about her opinion of me. We had two bathrooms in the villa, making getting ready a lot quicker as we didn't have to wait on the other being ready first. I changed into a shorts and short sleeve shirt co-ord set, put some waves into my hair and applied might make up, spraying on the perfume that I knew Leah loved.
When I was ready, I headed to the living room and saw Leah standing up against the door on her phone, she was wearing a similar outfit but had opted to tie her hair back. She noticed me entering the room and I saw her eyes scan my body from head to toe as she smiled and told me I looked beautiful. Returning the compliment, we headed off to the restaurant which was a short walk away. There was a comfortable silence on the walk there, which wasn't unusual. After a year together, we didn't feel the need to fill the gaps in conversation as much as we previously did.
We took our seats on the beach which was lit by the moon and the glow of the fire pit. The waiter gave us a blanket as a light breeze swept around, not enough to make the night unenjoyable. I asked Leah about her games, taking interest in every aspect and she asked me about my latest shows and how my album preparation was going. I really felt like we were getting somewhere, maybe that was the problem. I had been so worried that she wasn't happy that I hadn't actually done anything about it. Maybe I just needed to find ways to distract her from her phone.
We sat on the beach for hours, laughing how we used to and trying different cocktails on the menu. I couldn't help but admire her as she spoke, this girl still gave me the liveliest butterflies in my stomach even now. We finished our drinks just after 1am and headed back to the villa. As we arrived back, we both got changed for bed and put on the tv in our room. Leah picked a film for us and I cuddled into her side, noticing her lack of effort to hold me but putting it down to the heat.
I decided that I'd had enough of being distant from her, we were usually unable to stay away from each other and maybe I just needed to make the effort. I lifted my head up to look at her as she smiled at me, waiting for me to say something. I didn't bother with words, I placed my lips onto hers and kissed her intimately but passionately. She kissed me back, placing her hand on the back of my head to deepen the kiss. This gave me the green light I needed so I moved my body on top of her, beginning to lift her top. Leah broke the kiss and moved away from me, whispering "not tonight Al, I'm tired." I felt my heart break a little in my chest. I didn't understand why she was now constantly tired or not in the mood, one night she even said she had a sore stomach but then ate two packets of crisps.
"Course you are." I huffed as I rolled onto my side, facing away from her.
"Don't be a dick." She sighed back.
"Me? You haven't came near me this entire holiday. You're too warm to cuddle, too tired for anything else, too engrossed in your phone to even listen to what I have to say to you!" By now I could feel the tears starting to gather in my eyes. I didn't want her to see that I was upset by this lack of attention so I got up to head to the living room.
"You're being dramatic, Al." Leah shouted after me.
I wasn't sure that I was being dramatic. She was making me feel worthless, like I didn't matter anymore and like my presence was more of an annoyance to her. As I sat on the sofa, silently wiping my tears from my cheeks and trying to gather myself so I could go back to bed, I heard a phone vibrate. Leah had left her phone lying on the table and I knew I shouldn't but I wanted to settle my head that I had nothing to worry about. I picked it up and read the text that had just come through.