"Hit that landing and balance yourself- you don't wanna fall over should your opponent suddenly decide to change direction. So like... yes! Just like that, Kacchan!"
Katsuki grinned and wiped the sweat from his brow as steady feet hit the sand just before turning back towards Deku. "Eh? That good?"
"It was great!" Deku applauded. "I'm glad you're getting the hang of these landings- even since just last month, you've started looking so much better."
"I mean, I ain't the only one who's been improving." Katsuki grinned, only for Deku to groan at the mention. "You know I watch the news. And tell me- who was the one that executed a perfect rescue downtown this week?"
He wasn't sure he'd ever grow tired of seeing the subtle red flush across Deku's cheeks. "This lesson isn't about me and you know it."
Even so, there was no denying the wobbly smile across his lips. There'd been some sort of shift in him since he'd gone back on duty, some sort of joy, no, life returning. They'd only been training with each other on and off for a few months now, both busy with school or work or whatever else, and yet even so- Katsuki wasn't sure he'd ever seen Deku as lively as he was these days.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Katsuki rolled his eyes. "But don't go easy on me today, 'kay? I know you wanted to have a practice session for my birthday, but–"
"Excuse you." Deku stepped closer, arms crossed over his chest with a wry smile on his lips. "You should know by now that I'm not going to go easy on you. But would you rather me help you out with fun training for today, or tell you to drop and give me a hundred?"
I mean, when you're the one asking it doesn't sound too bad.
But, still. "...okay, yeah, fun training is fine."
Deku clapped him on the shoulder. "That's the spirit. But would you wanna break for a bit? We've been going for a while now."
It was true- though they had more daylight now than just a few months ago, it was already bordering on seven o'clock as the sun set over low, rolling waves. Katsuki had almost grown an addiction to working out at the beach- training on the sandy terrain was certainly different than concrete, and they'd been able to focus in on technique-based things so much more intimately than in a group setting. His progress in class was becoming more and more pronounced by the day just from the stuff he'd learned from Deku, and at this point, he had no intent to quit.
"Sure. I'm down for a break."
A small bench in the shade of the beachside become their dropping point. Katsuki rested his head against Deku's chest as a clothed arm wrapped itself around his own shoulder- a position more natural than he ever could've expected to find.
I still can't believe he lets me do this with him. Fuck, I love it when he holds me.
"Wanna tell me how your birthday was yesterday?" Deku asked, warm fingers running through Katsuki's hair. "You said you just hung out with your friends, right?"
"Mhm. Yeah, that's about it." Katsuki murmured, eyes falling shut as he relaxed against the steady thrum of Deku's heartbeat and the gentle touch against his scalp. "Went out to dinner... I thought it was fun. Camie said I was boring. They- well, she- wanted to throw some sort of bigass party instead."
"You're not into lots of celebration, then? I get that."
Honestly, being here is all I really wanted.
"My parents got me a new sleeping bag." He continued, slipping a hand to rest on Deku's leg. "For camping."
"Oh, you go camping?" Deku asked. "Is there a certain area you like?"
"Mountains and stuff." He shrugged. "I like hiking a lot. Haven't gotten a chance to go in a while, though."
"Ah, yeah..." There was a brief pause, and- "Well, I'd love to go with you if you ever have time. Maybe over the summer? I haven't been hiking in forever."
Huh... sleeping under the stars, kissing in the forest, fucking me out in the open...
"Yeah, I'd be down with that."
"Awesome."
It was so damn peaceful. No one was at the beach but them today, no one was watching them, wanting to talk to them, and just the distant sound of the ocean was enough to lull Katsuki to sleep.
It's just us... me, him, and the seagulls.
Katsuki could've kissed him right then and there.
"...hey, Kacchan?"
The hesitation was new- he hadn't heard that nervous excitement buried in Deku's voice in so long.
"Yeah?"
The fingers in his hair stopped, stilled, if only for a moment. "I don't really have much to offer for your birthday... and if you don't want to, it's fine, but..." Deku's voice trailed off, almost as if he was trying to gather the courage to continue. "...I, uh. Bought some groceries earlier today, and I was just wondering if- if you would wanna come over to my place for dinner?"
...holy shit.
"Fuck yes." There was no hiding the excitement in his voice now. Katsuki's eyes shot open and when he met Deku's again, was near-shocked by the surprise in his face. "'When are we leaving?"
"Oh! Um, well... we could take off now if you're ready?" Deku pulled back his arm, and Katsuki couldn't help but notice the slight flush over his cheeks. "Honestly, I didn't think you'd be so... enthused?"
"What, you think I'd turn down dinner with you?" Katsuki scoffed, and got to his feet. "C'mon, dumbass. Let's go. I've been wanting to see your place for months."
Deku followed him off the bench, still flustered. "I mean, it's not terribly exciting, just another apartment and all..." He rubbed the back of his neck, but caught up to walk next to Katsuki. "I hope your expectations aren't too high."
"I don't care if it ain't fancy." Katsuki snorted. "It's yours. And I wanna see what it's like."
Deku didn't appear to have a good answer to that statement, and just sighed, pulled his hood up over his head, and carried on. "Well, um... I hope you don't hate it, aha..."
Fucker, I wanna live with you someday. Don't even start with that.
Deku usually walked back to his place, but they decided the train would be best today in order to move a little faster. Even so, Katsuki couldn't help but notice when pulled out a pair of dark sunglasses before moving out into the more crowded streets despite knowing his reasons.
He's a popular pro hero. Hell, at least I ain't callin' him 'Valiant'.
That said, he hated watching Deku try and make himself look smaller while they walked to the station. The hunched back, hands in his pockets, and resigned frown over Deku's face was hard to watch. Katsuki knew it was necessary, but it still hurt.
Am I gonna have to sneak around like this someday, too?
Deku was quiet when they got on the train. There was no eye contact, much less any physical contact between them here. And due to the distinctive scars on his hands, Deku couldn't even show them in public without risk of being prodded and questioned.
And for as much as he wanted to be with him, there was no chance they'd ever be able to really go out in public without unwanted media attention. Too much was on the line for the both of them.
I don't like thinking about it, but... I am still in high school. Deku would probably be in major trouble if they saw me with him like this...
A near missable nudge from Deku alerted him that they were at his stop, and even after they pushed through the worst of the crowds, there was no change in his behavior. Cautious, always cautious. Katsuki could only follow into another populated street and then finally, down a quieter one.
"It's right up ahead." Deku murmured. "The small complex on the left. I'm up on the third floor, but we can just take the side stairs instead of going through the lobby."
No wonder he never invited me over... there's just too high a risk of being seen.
The complex seemed nice enough, though. Katsuki trailed Deku around the back of the building all the way to a smaller and more hidden set of stairs. After one quick run up the short stairs, Deku pulled down his hood, took off his sunglasses, and lent Katsuki a small, apologetic smile.
"Almost there. Sorry about having to hide like that." Deku sighed. "I-I mean, you know why... I don't like it, but..."
Katsuki shook his head. "Don't worry, I get it. Which one is yours?"
He was led a little further down the dim hallway, just until Deku stopped in front of a door and fumbled through his pocket for a key. Quiet, secluded, private- it was as much as any pro hero could ask for.
If I lived with him out here someday... I don't think I'd mind that too much.
"Alright, come in." Deku said, pushing the door open. "Here's the place. Sorry if there's stuff lying around, you can move it if you want. Make yourself at home."
Make myself at home, huh?
Upon first glance, he couldn't believe just how utterly ordinary everything was. He shucked his shoes off onto the small red rug in the doorway just before wandering into the rest of the cozy apartment. A small couch sat to his left, and to the right, the kitchen. Small and compact, but not confining. And instead of a proper dining table, stools around the kitchen bar appeared to serve the same purpose.
Makes sense since he's living alone.
"Ain't bad." Katsuki remarked, still looking around as Deku moved past him and into the kitchen, opening up the fridge to grab some stuff out. "Could use a little air freshener, but you should give yourself more credit."
"Pfft. You shoulda' seen it last year." Deku mumbled. "Couldn't walk two feet without tripping over garbage. We, ah. Cleaned up."
"Gross." He rolled his eyes. "If that's the case, I'm glad I missed it."
Deku had his head buried in the fridge, pulling out an assortment of ingredients, but there was no missing the slump of his shoulders or slight hesitation in his words. "I... it was bad. I'm sorry, I, uh. Shouldn't have said anything. Don't wanna talk about that right now."
A year ago... was that around the time of your accident?
Katsuki swallowed, unsure of what to make of Deku's sudden mood drop. There was history in this place, and by the sound of it, care had been taken to disguise whatever had happened in the past. It had been a while ago now, but trying to think back to his first school exam brought back memories he couldn't forget.
On his birthday last year, he didn't look... good. I wonder if that had anything to do with all this...?
"A-Anyway!" Deku pulled his head out of the fridge to turn back towards him. "Um, is curry alright with you? If you don't mind staying a while, anyways. Oh, and I have leftover gyoza I made last night too!"
"Sounds good." Katsuki joined him in the small kitchen. "Make it extra hot for me?"
"Oh– right, right, you like it spicy. Got it."
Katsuki grinned. "What, you don't like it like that? C'mon, s'just a little heat. You'll be okay."
That only lead Deku to fix him with a determined glare, eyes narrowed and showing no sign of weakness. "Oh, Kacchan. I'm stronger than that. I can take it. This is gonna be the best curry you've had all year." He cracked his knuckles. "I've been learning how to cook, y'know. Better be ready."
That's the spirit. "I'm always ready. Show me what you've got, Deku."
And holy fuck, he did not have to pull off his sweatshirt right then and there just to flex in front of Katsuki. It was unfair, so damn unfair that his t-shirt hugged his body so tight, those finely toned arms made even more gorgeous by the taut fabric.
"Well, feel free to look around if you want. You can turn on the TV too, remote's on the table. Not too much to see here, but... eh, just ask if you need anything."
Deku turned back to the counter to reheat the gyoza, but just before leaving the kitchen, Katsuki caught eye of a few sticky notes stuck to the fridge. They were mostly just scribbles, notes to go get groceries or reminders to get things done, but one in particular stuck out to him.
therapy 1-2 tues. dont forget to pick up meds
But Deku had been out of physical therapy for some time now. There was no way it was an old note either by the looks of it.
What... Deku, what is this? You've never said anything...
Katsuki tried to remind himself that Deku didn't need to share every bit of his life with him, wasn't obligated at all to to let him in on anything that was going on in his life. Sure, they texted and called a lot, but...
What all is he hiding from me? How well do I really know him?
He bit his tongue, didn't push, and left the kitchen to see what else he could learn from Deku's home.
The living room was fairly well put together, but it was clear there hadn't been a whole lot of thought put into the decor as a whole. Chances are Deku had been shopping for cheap furniture when it was set up and hadn't upgraded since, despite likely making more than enough to do so now. An assortment of cooking and hero magazines were strewn across the small coffee table alongside a few self-help books. Poorly cleaned coffee stains littered the carpet beside the couch, and with a snort, Katsuki couldn't help but wonder how clumsy Deku was off the field.
It's different seeing this, but... it's all him. This is his space.
That said, the short stack of dirty plates cluttering the tiny side table and the pants strewn across the floor only served to emphasize his bachelor status. It being his space meant that he was the only one there and subsequently, the only one looking after his own tidiness.
Maybe I can clean up a little. It's the least I can do.
But as soon as he went to pick up the plates from the side table, something else caught his eye. Off to the other side of the living room was a burst of strong, flourishing plants, a product of obvious time and care.
Wait... did Deku grow all these?
Katsuki took a closer look, and sure enough- there was a planter box hanging off the outside of his windowsill, and one resting on a thin table on the inside. A thick manual sat to the side of them on a small table along with basic gardening tools and supplies. He'd never been one for plants himself, but there was a sort of respect he had to give Deku upon seeing all of this.
Is this what he was doing when he was all cooped up in here? Hell, that's... that's pretty cute, if it's true.
He ran his fingers over a few of the leafy plants, a strangely familiar one catching his eye. A vivid orange flower, blooming above most all the rest like some sort of authority.
Wait... is this...?
"Kacchan! I warmed up the-" Deku called out, but stopped upon seeing where Katsuki was standing. There was an undeniable smile across his face and a hint of embarrassment, too. "Oh, um..."
"You grow these?"
Deku paused, let out a small, nervous laugh, and nodded. "Yeah... yeah, they're mine. I know, maybe it's weird, but like-"
"Basically, you're saying you've got a green head and a green thumb." Katsuki grinned. "Good to know."
"Kacchan...!" Deku's face went bright red, freckles almost invisible against it. "I- well, um... I mean, I guess? Got a problem with that?"
"S'cool. Never said it was a problem." Katsuki looked him up and down, laughing a little to himself. "It's kinda neat, honestly. You're out here saving the lives of plants and people. But, uh- where'd you get the orange one?"
"Hm? Oh, that one?" Deku came a little closer, some sort of fondness falling over his face. "That one was actually the first. It was the only one I brought home from the hospital, and... I dunno. It's always been my favorite, and made me realize that something like gardening might be kinda fun, y'know?"
You're shitting me. Should I tell him?
He couldn't manage any more than a short, nervous laugh. "I actually- um, I think that that's the one my class sent. I remember one of my friends asking me about it a while back."
Deku's face turned nearly as bright as the flower upon that sudden realization. "Oh...! Well, um... your friend has good taste. That's pretty crazy."
And this was the only one you brought back? Either Camie's got some wild perception skills I'm not aware of, or we just got lucky.
Why... why'd she choose this one, anyway?
"Anyways, the gyoza's ready if you want some. I'm getting stuff out for the curry right now."
Redirecting the conversation? I mean, that's fine, but... I feel like I'm missing something.
Nonetheless, he nodded- there was no real choice but to go along. "Sounds good. Where's the bathroom? I wanna wash my hands."
Deku pointed past him, towards the door Katsuki assumed led to his bedroom. "Right in there, left side of my room. I'm pretty sure I bought more soap? If there's none on the counter, check the cabinet above the toilet."
"Got it, thanks."
He'd only ever seen very brief pictures of Deku's room- that was where he slept, changed, kept the things most important to him, probably- but Katsuki knew better than to rummage through his drawers and find where he kept the lube.
Heroes get off too. I wonder if he ever uses toys?
Katsuki would admit to daydreaming about Deku's sexual preferences on more than one occasion. There wasn't anything on record stating anyone he'd dated, nothing to indicate he swung one way or another. And over his time as a hero, Deku had been clear as can be about his reluctance to get into a relationship. That said, Katsuki would be shocked if he wasn't attracted to men when considering just how interested his dick was after their first training session.
Fuck. I'm never gonna forget that.
But Deku's room was just as ordinary as the rest of the apartment, with the addition of slightly less organization and slightly more dirty laundry scattered over the floor. This included, but was not limited to- several pairs of boxers, a few t-shirts, one towel, and far too few pairs of pants.
Does he wear pants around the house!? Wait, is he naked when we're texting? Calling? Is this why he doesn't do video calls?
Katsuki bit down hard on his lip, forced himself to look away, and went through the bathroom door. Not that being there was much better, really. The shower was simple enough with a small sliding glass door as opposed to a curtain. No bath, but that was alright. It was easy enough to conjure a gorgeous mental image of Deku getting off in the shower, both steam and moans of pleasure curling up around him as water dripped into every curve and crevice of his body.
Why haven't I spent more time thinking about him after a shower? Fuck, I know he's gotta be hot.
The realism of the situation came crashing back down, though, upon seeing the slightly-crusty tips of the shampoo bottles and stray hairs on the scraggly bar soap.
Okay, so maybe realistically it's not as hot. That's what fantasies are for, dumbass.
At the very least, Katsuki refused to let his mind drift towards anything involving the toilet.
There was a razor next to the sink- cleaned, probably regularly used- and for whatever reason, a hairbrush. Katsuki wasn't totally sure why- after all, it appeared that Deku's hair had a mind of its own aside from the short undercut.
But alongside all that was something else. A plastic per-week pillbox lay casually next to the sink, minding its own business on the counter.
Wait, I thought he got off medication from the accident months ago? And those don't really look like vitamins...
The soap was missing from the counter company, so he did as instructed and opened up the small cabinet above the toilet. Sure enough, there was another bottle of soap, but right next to it–
Katsuki swallowed, grabbed both the soap and the bottle of pills next to it, and froze when he saw the label.
I... I know what these are.
Katsuki swallowed, tried to ignore the shiver down his spine as something empty and hollow opened up in his chest.
Why... why is Deku on antidepressants?
His fingers were stiff around the bottle, rereading the label over and over and over again as if something would change the longer he stared.
I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't have looked.
This was Deku's very private space, his personal medical history, and Katsuki was an unwanted, uncalled for intruder. He shoved the medicine back into the cabinet, washed his hands, and left before he could find anything else. And as much as he didn't want to, as much as it hurt, his mind set to racing and cobbling together pieces he'd hardly considered before.
That- that note. That wasn't for physical therapy. Deku's- he's–
Deku was a hero. A damn good one, at that. He smiled for the citizens he saved, for the camera, for Katsuki–
Last year. His accident. He said his apartment was a disaster. He seemed kinda distressed on his birthday last year. Really sad. He was massively overworking himself. He's been so hesitant to show me his space. He never told me about those appointments he had outside of physical therapy.
There was hardly any denying it at this point, though.
Shit, Deku... I didn't know you were... you have...
Katsuki forced the thoughts away, hoped he didn't look too pale, and joined Deku in the kitchen again.
"Took you long enough." Deku chuckled. "Get lost? I know, I know, this place can be so confusing."
"No, I- I found everything." He got out, but even just looking at the bright smile across Deku's face was tough now. "Your soap was in the cabinet."
"Ah, cool cool. Glad you got it."
Before he really realized what was going on, Deku placed a small plate of gyoza and sauce on the counter next to him. "I got all the ingredients out for the curry, and ah, I'm excited! I think it'll be good." He said, a little too much cheer in his voice.
Katsuki hoped the smile on his face wasn't too terribly strained. "Yeah. I'm sure it will be."
The room fell quiet again, just before Deku let out a long, low sigh. "...ah, guess you saw what else was in that cabinet. I'm sorry, I forgot to put it up..."
Huh? Wait, what is he-
But before he could say anything, think any further, Deku was beside him again. "It's, um. It's okay. I know it might seem kinda strange? Maybe? But... you can ask if you wanna. It's- it's fine."
And when he looked up at Deku again, eyes clear and warm but with a hint of resignation in them, it was as if he was seeing him for the first time.
He swallowed.
"You, uh... you have depression?"
Katsuki couldn't believe just how small he sounded.
"Yeah. And, uh, anxiety." Deku leaned back against the counter, though he didn't sound upset, or angry, or... much of anything, really. "It's okay, really! It's more manageable now. Promise. S'just a thing."
Deku picked up his chopsticks and started eating alongside Katsuki before he continued. "I just- I didn't want you to worry, y'know? That's why I never said anything." He paused and let out a short, breathy laugh. "I'm, ah. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I was going to at, well... some point. Just never came up."
Why... why are you...
"Why are you apologizing, idiot?" Katsuki stared at him, and he wasn't sure quite what the combination of shock and confusion and acceptance running through his veins was. "It's just mental stuff. You ain't obligated to tell me anything, but like..." He bit his lip. "Nothing weird about it. Wrong with it. You're just- you're just you. And hell, I'm glad you're getting help!"
And Deku only nodded. Agreed.
"I- I'm glad too, Kacchan." He paused. "Well, um... I'm sorry, this probably isn't the best birthday conversation... I think I might get started on the curry, if that's okay."
"Okay? 'Course it's okay." Katsuki said, but not before stepping a little closer and wrapping his arms around Deku's waist, head tucked just below his chin. "Thanks for uh, just. Inviting me over."
It... it makes sense, I guess. But people don't ever see anything but the heroic side of him. He's so, so human too.
"No need to thank me." Deku murmured. "It's the least I can do for you, really."
And when he pulled Katsuki closer to his chest again, so close, he realized that Deku's hands were shaking.
"You mean a lot to me, Kacchan." He murmured, so quiet, gentle. "More... more than you probably know. I'm just, um... I'm glad you're in my life."
Shit, Deku...
"Well, thanks for saving my life back then." Katsuki said, and to his relief, Deku laughed. "I'm serious! Who knows what the hell would've happened if you hadn't."
Deku squeezed him tighter, the mood so much lighter than before. "We don't need to worry about that, do we? It happened. We're here now."
"Right, right. Focus on the present."
"Can't change the past." Deku nodded, and let go. "I'm gonna start cutting up stuff for the curry, okay?"
"Can I help?"
"Kacchan, it's your dinner–!"
"And I like cooking." He crossed his arms over his chest, leaned back against the counter, and smirked. "Since it's for my birthday, you'd let me help out if I wanted, right?"
Deku groaned, but didn't push it. "Fine, fine. If that's what you want. Let's get going."
Katsuki started on the potatoes after leaving Deku to the onions, chopping them into neat, precise sections. It didn't take long to finish them up and move onto the carrots, but just as he did, something odd stuck out from the side.
Oh, geez...
"Deku, what the fuck are you doing?"
He jumped a little, startled. "Huh? I'm cutting this up?"
"Is that what they call it these days?" Katsuki rolled his eyes. "God, Deku, hand me the knife. This is sloppy."
"Sloppy!? I- well, they're a little lopsided, but it adds character!"
Katsuki squinted and raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, no. Just- ugh, lemme show you."
He shoved himself into Deku's space, grabbed his hand (albeit carefully), and tried to guide him. "Focus." Katsuki instructed, directing him with intense precision. "Here, try and keep it even. You're holding it steady, right?"
"Yeah- yeah."
"You sound stressed."
"I'm not stressed."
"Relax, then. It's easy."
He felt Deku take a deep breath beside him. "Sorry, ah... I thought I was doing alright. No one's really ever taught me how."
"That's okay." Katsuki slid his fingers across the back of Deku's hands, trying to correct the slight mistakes. "I don't mind teaching, you know."
When he felt the tension finally loosen in Deku's hands, Katsuki moved a little more now, able to maneuver him into the right position. From there, it was easy. One cut, two cuts, smooth and even and precise.
"Just use your knuckles to guide you... like this, now."
"Uh huh, okay..."
Having his hands there, teaching, guiding- had never felt more natural.
"See? S'not that hard." Katsuki said. "Kinda get it now?"
"Ah, I think so."
Katsuki let go, warmth bubbling up through his stomach upon seeing the near-giddy smile rise across Deku's face as the slices came out so much more even and precise than before. It was as if something had clicked- now, he was almost satisfying to watch.
"Looks good." He started, trying to focus on Deku's hands rather than the wonderful curve of his ass just below. "I'll get the rest going."
And as he finished up the carrots and moved onto the beef, Katsuki couldn't shake the sense that everything about this- being with Deku, working together like this, quiet and yet at so much peace- felt so right.
I wish I could stay here.
It was so different from spending time with any of his friends. Camie was a constant bundle of energy, Yaoyorozu a calm and cool force to work with and be around, and he and Todoroki's relationship existed between physical training and snarky back-and-forth comments.
Deku, though–
Deku was grounding.
I don't wanna leave.
"I'm done with the beef. Did you finish up the mushrooms?"
"Yeah! I can get you a pan for the beef, and I'll go ahead and and start the rest of the curry if you want?"
"Works for me. Just don't forget to make it spicy, dumbass."
"Oh, shut it. Like I'd forget something like that."
Some way through the process, Deku turned on some music. Nothing loud or invasive, just a little something to liven up the atmosphere.
I can almost pretend we're together.
And after a bit more preparation, Deku slipped the lid on top of the pot and set a timer. "Alright. This needs to simmer for a while, would you wanna watch a movie or something? I've got some classic All Might features if you're into that."
Dinner and a movie? Camie would be proud as fuck.
"I'm down." Katsuki nodded, and they moved the short distance to the living room to get it going. Deku shuffled through his collection for a minute, pulled out the one he wanted and shoved it in. But when he decided to sit on the other end of the couch for no particular reason, Katsuki knew he had to remedy it. As the opening theme began, Katsuki not-so-subtly scooted over to Deku's side and leaned up against him.
"A-Ah, Kacchan, um..." Deku looked down, no hiding the flush on his cheeks from that short distance. "You sure you wanna–"
"It's my birthday, ain't it?" He grinned, and only moved in closer. "I can do what I want."
There was a soft, punctuated laugh from his side just before Deku's hand moved up over his shoulders, fingers weaving themselves in his hair. "Alright, alright. This okay?"
"S'perfect."
The movie started up, intro flaring to life in front of them. It was hard to focus when all he had in front of him was Deku, though- when those comforting hands ran through his hair so gently, so carefully, so naturally. And all he could do was breathe, rest, and relax.
I want you. I want to know everything about you.
"Your hair is softer than it looks." Quiet, curious. "I kinda like touching it."
"Kinda, huh?" Katsuki teased, but made no effort to halt him. "I kinda like how it feels. Don't stop."
"Mm, wasn't planning on it."
He'd seen the movie before- it'd come out when he was a child no older than seven or eight, but was a classic that'd been passed down and replayed for years. Deku had been much the same, closer to ten or eleven, but there was no doubt each scene had been inscribed stone-deep in his head like so many other kids back then.
"...hey, Kacchan?"
"Yeah?"
"You sure this is what you wanna do for your birthday?"
Oh, for fuck's sake.
"Wouldn't wanna be anywhere else." He reached for Deku's free hand and tugged it onto his lap. "Besides, we gotta wait for dinner to finish up, right? Guess I'll have to stay a while."
"It's not too long a wait or anything?"
Resisting the temptation to kiss him on the cheek again right there was hard enough. "No, it's all good."
"Awesome." Deku chuckled. "I'll be honest, I don't mind the wait either."
Can I please kiss you, Deku?
He couldn't keep his eyes off of Deku's lips- not when they were so close, so tempting. But he was lucky enough to have even gotten this far with him, and what they had right now was so much more intimate than he ever could've asked for to begin with.
I won't push this. Can't push this. He's already letting me do so much...
Katsuki settled for Deku's free hand instead, tracing gentle lines down his fingers and over his knuckles, all the way to his wrist. At some point, he turned it over to knead into the creases of his palm, mapping out each and every part of it.
Crooked fingers, crooked hands... but fuck, they're still gorgeous.
"What are you doing? You've been at it for a while now." Deku asked, no higher than a whisper. Katsuki didn't look up to meet his eyes- didn't need to, really.
"Dunno. Touching you?"
"You don't mind the scars?"
Katsuki smirked. "Don't you remember? I told you a while back that they're hot."
At this point, they both knew they weren't watching the movie.
"Ah... actually, I've been trying to wear my gloves less around my office." Deku paused. "I, um... I mean, I've gotta wear them on duty, but since you told me that I've been trying to be a little less discreet about them. Like, not wearing long-sleeved shirts everyday, not hiding my body near as much..."
"Really?"
He sighed. "Yeah. It's been alright, but y'know... people stare. Even when I'm just out getting groceries, I hear talking... gossip and all that. About my status on duty, about my body, about how... how weird I look with all of these. I just... I dunno. I don't like it."
Katsuki caught a glimpse of Deku's sad smile before he continued. "I love being a hero, Kacchan. I really, really do. There's no position I'd rather be in. But, like... it feels like most citizens don't see me as just a person sometimes. There's this mask I've gotta keep up, the face of a strong, confident hero, but I just can't be that all the time. And it's- it's hard, you know? I'm anything but unbreakable. I have things I deal with too."
Shit, Deku...
"Do you, uh... have you ever felt like that's how I see you?"
"No. Not once." Deku's fingers curled tighter in his hair, just enough that he could feel the tension. "From the moment I met you, I never felt like you saw me as unreachable. You remember what you told me back then, right?"
"You thought I'd forget? Who do you take me for, hm?" Katsuki squeezed his hand. "One day I'll make it. I'll be your partner."
"Gonna stand by my side?"
"Gonna stand the fuck by your side. We'll be the best damn team they've ever seen."
And before he really realized what he'd done, Katsuki's fingers slipped between Deku's own and held tight.
"Your hands are so small." Deku snorted, but for whatever reason, closed his fingers around Katsuki's too. "Kinda sweaty, though."
"Hey- hey!" Katsuki protested, glaring daggers at him. "Look, it's not like I can just stop it! It's just my quirk, assho–"
"Oh, please. I don't care. Just as long as you don't blow up on me, okay?"
"You shit, I have perfectly good control over it!"
And when Deku laughed- that real, honest, full laugh- it was as if every hardship he'd ever faced crumbled to dust. "I know, I know. I trust you, even if you're a little shit sometimes."
"You callin' me little? At the very least, I'm gonna be the biggest shit around!"
Deku stopped, stared, and broke into a full-on cackle not a moment later. "Kacchan- holy shit, Kacchan, please tell me you–"
"Hah? You laughing at me!?"
"No, never, I'm just–!"
Katsuki lunged upwards with Deku's hand still in his own and pushed him back onto the couch cushions with a vicious passion. "Huh? Got something to say for yourself, dumbass?"
There was a hidden glint in those warm eyes, and before he could react, Katsuki found himself flat on his back with his hands held tight above his head and well-muscled legs straddling his own. Deku leaned in close, mere inches from his face, and grinned.
"Oh, do I have something to say for myself?"
Katsuki writhed against Deku's weight to no avail, nothing but sheer muscle and strength towering over him now.
"Don't worry- I won't dislocate your shoulders this time." Deku breathed, so close and so heated. "Do you have something to say to me, Kacchan? Any last words?"
You're hot? Handsome? I like it when you manhandle me? Will you kiss me? Fuck me?
"You're-"
And just then, before he could finish his goddamn sentence, the fucking kitchen timer went off.
Dammit.
Just as well, Deku seemed to realize the mildly compromising position he'd managed to get them in and immediately flushed a bright crimson.
"I, um, should go check on the curry."
Yet five seconds later he still hadn't moved, staring into Katsuki's eyes with some sort of wonder and heated curiosity.
I want more, Deku. I want everything you've got.
"Yeah, uh. Probably."
Are his eyes dilated? That's a thing, right?
Deku bit his lip, still unmoving.
"Dammit, Kacchan..." He started, naught but a whisper. "You're cute as fuck."
And then, he was gone. Removed himself from Katsuki before another word could be said and ran off towards the kitchen, leaving him to sit up and process what had just happened.
I... holy shit, he–
Does he really feel the same?
Still dazed, still shocked, he got to his feet and stumbled back towards the kitchen with the hope that he didn't look too terribly out of it.
"I think it's ready." Deku announced, peering into the pot. "Ah, doesn't it smell good?"
Katsuki sat, stared at the pot, and nodded dumbly. "Yeah. Um, it does."
It wasn't long before they both had food in front of them and were back at the kitchen bar, eating side by side and possibly a little closer than before. The food really was good- Deku seemed elated by the results, apparently not having gotten it to this standard before. But there was something more in the air now, unsaid words hanging in the atmosphere with every laugh, every quip, every bite- and neither was sure who would give in first.
"Oh geez, I didn't realize how late it was..." Deku frowned. "And you need to travel back to U.A., don't you?"
"That was the plan, anyway. Tomorrow's Sunday, but... yeah."
Deku forced a smile and a shrug. "Look, staying here probably wouldn't be the best idea. And you don't have any overnight stuff with you, either... maybe, uh, some other time?"
It hurt, but Deku was right. "Another time would be nice."
Would you let me sleep in that nice bed of yours too? Even if there's no sex, can we just cuddle or some shit? That'd be fun. Right?
"Do you need any help finding your way back to the station?" Deku asked, no shortage of concern in his voice. "I don't want you to get in any trouble, ah..."
"I can handle it." Katsuki assured him. "Seriously. I have maps on my phone and I'm good with the trains. I'll be alright, I promise. You don't need to be crawling around with me this late anyways."
I don't want him feeling like he has to protect me.
"As long as you're sure." Deku narrowed his eyes and shoved another bite of curry in his mouth. "Don't be stupid, okay?"
"Says you."
"Oh, shut up!"
Even so, finishing dinner carried with it some sense of finality. Deku refused to let him do the dishes despite being perfectly capable at doing so and ushered Katsuki out into the living room instead.
"You got all your stuff?"
"Didn't bring anything but my school ID and my phone. I'm good."
It was so damn tempting to ask to go watch TV again, cuddle again, wrestle again- anything, really. Katsuki was in no way ready to leave now, not when there was still so much they could do. But the reality was that he had homework to do. Friends to see. Schedules to follow.
And sadly, Deku's schedule was in no way his yet.
"Will you text me when you get home?" Deku asked, obviously trying to hold back lingering worry. "Just so, uh, I know you got back safe."
"Sure, yeah, s'no problem. As long as you don't trail me to the station, anyways."
"Kacchan, I wouldn't do that!"
"...sure, Valiant."
Deku crossed his arms over his chest and sighed with more than a little dramatic flair. "You are impossible. And- and to think I thought of something to get you for your birthday!"
Huh?
Katsuki tilted his head, confused. "Wait, I thought this was your gift?"
But Deku only stepped closer, a little more confident now, and shook his head. "Well, some of the best gifts are surprises, right? It shouldn't take long. Promise."
What are you talking–
"Just please- stop me if I'm wrong, but-"
His heart was threatening to beat out of his chest when Deku leaned down a little, one arm reaching for the back of his head while the other wrapped around his waist, pulled him closer, and–
"I think you missed last time."
Deku's lips were on his own before he could move, head tilted in his best attempt to slot them together as he- as he–
He's kissing me.
It was all Katsuki could do to try and follow suit, his own hands curling into the swell of Deku's hair and attempting hang on to what little reality was left. But only seconds later was the contact gone and anxious, hopeful eyes met his own.
"Was- was that okay?" Deku whispered, shaky, trembling, but so certain all the same.
Holy hell, why are you even asking?
It was all he could do to manage a nod, a silent plea, and try and return to his senses.
Deku- Deku, please–
"That's, um, that's go–mph!"
Deku's words were cut off with a muffled gasp as Katsuki yanked him down by his shirt collar, needing more, wanting more, more contact, more movement, more lips on lips and mouths on mouths and don't stop, Deku. Kiss me. Kiss me like you mean it!
"K-Kacchan, you-"
"Shut- shut up. Don't stop."
"More?"
"Yes, more–!"
Messy. Desperate. Needed. There was no pace, no rhythm, just simple movement and hope that this was right. Deku only pulled him closer to his chest, held his head tighter against his own, and let nothing but strained gasps and soft, breathy whimpers come between them.
"So long." Deku rasped, just as frantic as Katsuki was. "You- oh my god, Kacchan, you have no idea how long I've wanted you...!"
"Then shut up and kiss me, will you?"
Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me.
"Follow my lips, Kacchan- easy now, easy, just like this..."
And fuck, he could stay there all day and listen to Deku's directions and guidance. So confident, so unwavering, yet so vulnerable too.
"Hng, Deku- you feel so- so fuckin' good, I–!"
They finally managed to find some sort of balance, and when Deku's lips finally slid smoothly onto his own, Katsuki could've sworn he'd grown wings and learned how to fly.
I love you. Fuck, I love you.
He wasn't sure how it happened, but somewhere in that frenzy of passionate contact a low, pleading moan escaped his lips before he was able to reel it in. But Deku didn't seem averse at all to it, not if the ferocity with which he grabbed Katsuki said anything.
"Shit, Kacchan..." Deku breathed, just before kissing back even harder and breaking any sort of rhythm they'd established. "You- you don't know how good you sound right now."
Good, huh?
It couldn't have been more than a minute. Two minutes. Three was definitely pushing it, but by the time they had to pull back for air, to breathe, to process what was going on- it felt like nothing short of an eternity and no longer than a millisecond. Deku's shaking hands moved back the hair from Katsuki's forehead, kissed it, and hugged back before letting go.
"Kacchan..." Deku's voice trembled, so close to breaking. "I- I've wanted to do that for..."
"Me too."
Katsuki went in for another one, but Deku didn't let him get further than just a quick, chaste kiss before pulling away.
"Please, we- we can't."
"One more?
"You... we don't know what'll happen." Deku swallowed, and held him against his chest instead. "You know you can't stay, Kacchan."
It was all he could do to push closer, to bury his face against Deku's chest with a desire and comfort he hadn't known in so long.
I just want you. Not the dorms. Not my empty-ass bed.
"I don't wanna go." He begged. "Please, Deku, can I–!"
"Stop. Don't- don't make me tell you no again. You don't know how hard it is, Kacchan."
His voice is shaking.
Katsuki had never known how hard it was to let go after getting a taste of just what could be. Somehow, though, he managed to let go as hands fell to his sides in clenched fists.
"I'll- I'll go."
He's already done so damn much...
And despite circumstance, a small, pleased smile sat so near to bursting across Deku's freckled cheeks. "Happy birthday, Kacchan. Hope- I hope it was a good one."
Taking my words, huh?
"Good? Shit, Deku. Seventeen ain't an important year or anything, but... you've fuckin' made it something to look forward to." Katsuki bit his lip, trying to hide the fact that he was close to tears. "Please- please, can we do this again?"
Deku stood back, mildy aghast. "What, was that not a given?"
"I mean, I was just makin'-"
"I know, I know. You're cute."
He huffed, eyes narrowed. "What's up with all this 'cute' from you?"
"Wasn't that obvious, too?" Deku's head tilted just a little, almost as if examining him. "You're just cute. The way you talk, move, kiss-" The laugh that followed was so much freer than ever before. "It's cute."
"Pfft. Really?"
"Yes, really. And you're gonna get your cute self out the door, aren't you?" Deku crossed his arms over his chest, and somehow, the mere presence he radiated struck Katsuki with some sort of indescribable force.
Yeah, uh... I need to go.
"I'll text you when I get back."
"Mm, that's what I like to hear." Deku opened up the door for him. "Be safe, alright?"
"Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna-"
Those lips shut him up as Deku gave him one last kiss before stepping back again, leaving Katsuki nothing short of flushed and sweaty. "For good luck. You know."
I... I'll take it.
"I- yeah. Thanks."
Katsuki stepped outside but turned back almost immediately and craned his neck to watch Deku a little longer, a little more as the door shut. Physically, everything was the same. Same apartment, same weather, same town. But when Katsuki boarded the nearby train and sunk down into a seat on the near-empty car, pulling out his phone to see new notifications from Deku carried some new weight with it.
[Deku] we can make out on my couch next time. its a lot more comfortable
[Deku] that way you wont have to reach up for me
[Deku] and i wont have to bend down
[Deku] haha im sorry. im just so happy
[Deku] i cant wait to see you again
He stifled the sob in his throat, tried to push back the heat rising in his chest.
[Katsuki] sounds fun:)
[Katsuki] u gotta teach me how to kiss good
[Katsuki] maybe uh
[Katsuki] we could find time for a special training session tomorrow?
[Deku] i think i could clear my schedule;)
[Deku] i only take on those with the most potential, you know
[Deku] and kacchan, i think youve got what it takes
There was no hiding the redness of his cheeks nor the giddiness in his texts, but Katsuki had flown miles past the point of caring.
We're... we're doing this. This is real.
He wiped a hand across his face, tried to pretend there wasn't a recognizable wetness on his knuckles, and smiled for no one but himself.
Deku, I...
[Katsuki] i won't let you down<3