He slammed the door, almost sounding like he broke it. I knew what was coming, and I needed to go now. I sprinted from the kitchen, across the living room and through the hallway to the bedroom, shutting the door behind me and trying to seal it as best as I could with some furniture. I couldn't believe he removed the lock on it because of last time.
"Where the fuck are you? You little bitch!" He barked, his voice very slurred from the alcohol he'd had tonight but still all the frightening. I didn't get why he still continued to do this to himself; to us.
I could hear the sound of glass breaking, things being thrown against the wall. The coffee table being stomped on, pillows ripping, and his movements getting closer. Hopefully the neighbors wouldn't hear anything this time.
I didn't know what else to do but slide to the ground and hide in a ball, wishing I could just go away, disappear right now. All I could wonder was:
What did I do now?
"Don't fucking hide from me!" I heard from outside the door. His fists pounded the door multiple times.
Tears were streaming down my face unknowingly as I wished to vanish. Next thing I knew, the door had been burst through, his footsteps pound, closer and closer to me until I'm pulled up from my position roughly.
His hands grasped my arms tightly as he pushed me up against the nearest wall, banging my head against it for what seemed like the hundredth time. A loud scream sounded from my mouth before I could stop it.
I should have stopped it.
"P-please..Jake. No..." I mumbled before he grasped me hardly once more and threw me to the ground.
I knew the bruises were there, along with the others.
"Aww sweetheart, you know I'm sorry. I love you." He whispered, before kneeling down in front of me, pulling me harshly by the neck to him, and stretching to connect his lips with mine...
My eyes shoot wide open and I cover the scream that exits my mouth with my hand. I look around, seeing that the covers have reached the floor, I'm covered in a full layer of sweat, and tears cover my face as well.
This is my problem.
I'm haunted in my sleep from Jacob. But these aren't nightmares. These are memories, and they happen almost every night.
I pray that neither of my cousins heard my scream this time. The past times have been so awkward because one or both of them come in and try to help me calm down. But there is no helping me. I'm too far deep. They don't even know what monsters are in my dreams, no one does. I'm lucky when after a few minutes no one comes.
I check the time, 6:55 a.m. I don't think I can sleep now, there's no way. I can't go back to that place. Instead I rise and decide it's best to shower, to wash away this cloud over me today. This evening, I'm going out with Harry, and I won't let this take over my mind. Hopefully my day ends better than it started. I step into the water and the steam instantly relaxes my muscles. I take in a deep breath, the mass of steam swallowing my body.
As the water sprays down my back, I think about Harry. I wonder what tonight will be like; what he's got planned.
I hope I am fine by tonight because now I feel like just hiding in my room, in the darkness, but I can't do it. I must be strong. I actually miss Harry, and I just want to see him already.
I get out of the shower after about half an hour and just slip into my robe. My body feels so tired still. I throw myself onto the couch in the living room and turn on the television, just leaving it on the channel it is to drown out my thoughts.
After a few hours of barely listening to the morning talk shows discuss how tonight we are having the worst rainstorm in years, which is lucky for me since I have a fear of them, Jen comes out of the hallway.
"Oh, morning Rachel. Didn't think anyone was up."
"Yeah, I've been awake for a few hours actually." I reply plainly.
She enters the kitchen and returns with some cereal for the two of us.
"I..I heard you screaming..." Jennifer whispers, looking behind me to make sure Hayley isn't there. I look down with embarrassment as she sits next to me and hands me the bowl. "I was going to go see if you were alright, but I know you don't like that. Are you okay though?"
Out of the two, Jen has always seemed to have matured faster than Hayley. I feel most comfortable with her to tell her my problems, because she sounds more concerned, takes things more seriously, and tries to give me her best advice. She knows that I feel this way. I'll never discuss the history with Jacob-I mean him though. I don't need people thinking I'm crazy and telling me to go to therapy again. But, talking about Harry with her is way easier.
Yesterday I couldn't wait to tell her, and Hayley too, about the date.
"Yeah, Jen, don't worry. Just a nightmare," I force a smile.
Jen runs her hands through her messy, light brown hair and shakes her head in disbelief.
"Honestly I wish you wouldn't hide things from me," she looks me with worry in her eyes, "but if you must, fine. Anyway, are you excited about your date with Harry? I still can't believe you're hanging out with him. He's like, an actual celebrity. It's mad!" Her frown is replaced with a huge grin.
"I suppose. Just nervous though. I'm unsure of what to expect, and I don't want to mess it up." And I have just had a nightmare I can't seem to get off my mind.
Jennifer giggles, oblivious of my real issues. "Relax Rach, you'll be just fine. Be yourself and it will be okay." Her hand reaches across to my shoulder. I don't think the date will be that simple. Jennifer asks, "He's getting you at eight, right?"
I nod as her eyes light up with excitement.
"Well then we have time to shop! We can find you an outfit perfect for tonight. I'll get Hayley and we can change and head off to the mall. Sound good?"
"Yeah, why not?"
* * *
Soon enough, the three of us are ready and head to the station to board the train to the mall. We would have walked, but the storm is already on it's way, and the sky is covered in heavy grey clouds.
Once we sit inside the train cart, I decide to distract myself with my phone for the short twenty minute ride. When I immediately turn it on, I'm surprised when I get a text, the name on the screen reading, Harry.
Afternoon angel, ready for tonight? -H
His nicknames never cease to make me smile.
Yes I am. What are we doing?, I reply, hoping to get some information out of him. He's hard to pry.
Don't you already know I like surprises? You'll find out tonight. Just one thing, dress casually. That sexy leotard will do xx, he answers, causing a gasp to almost escape my mouth. Luckily I realize I'm in a public place before that happens.
I'm afraid that's one surprise you won't be seeing, I text him back slyly.
You are too adorable. See you soon love, he ends it.
Texting Harry has become one of my favorite activities.
At the mall, my cousins pull me into almost every store, showing me many options, most that don't fit the casual theme, and they end up shopping for themselves. I try things on, but I fear I won't find even a single article of clothing.
When we go to Abercrombie & Fitch, Hayley finds something that may actually work. Just a simple, darkish skinny pair of jeans with a few rips here and there, and a beautiful, white, sleeveless floral blouse that is a little loose but comfortable. I'm not crazy by the low neckline but I fear this may be the only option for me.
The two push me to try it on, and it fits pretty well. I haven't yet gotten used to me dressing this way, but I can't deny I look great. Plus on the bright side, I get to wear my comfy converse, which makes me smile.
We have a light lunch at the mall before we head home. I enter the flat and check the clock, seeing that we had been out for nearly four hours. I anxiously wait until it's time to get ready for the date. My cousins beg to help me get ready and I accept. Before I know it, it's almost eight, my hair is nicely straightened, I'm dressed in my new outfit and my makeup has been done. I'm in awe from my appearance, I absolutely love it.
I grab my purse and phone and follow my cousins to the living room to wait for Harry. My nerves are growing, and visions of my nightmare appear on and off in my mind. I'm psyching myself out, I know it.
Somehow the storm seems to be enforcing my scary thoughts even more, and I'm not enjoying the thunder sounding from the dark, cloudy sky. I've never liked storms, especially because they remind me of the..bad times.
The butterflies in my stomach have grown and I'm almost feeling sick though I haven't eaten in awhile. My thoughts are interrupted when I notice my cousins staring at me.
I guess I didn't hear what they asked?
"Huh?"
"I asked, do you think we could possibly meet Harry this time?" Hayley asks, putting her hands together in plea.
Ha-ha, they're really asking this? After last time?
"You aren't seriously asking me that," I question both girls sarcastically as I shake my head.
Jen and Hayley's expressions sadden.
"We won't say anything mean this time! Promise!" Hayley promises, whining at me.
But before I can answer, the doorbell rings. My butterflies grow even more and my hands begin to shake. This isn't the first time Harry and I've gone out, so why do I feel this nervous?
Slowly, I rise from the couch while my cousins sprint from the couch to the door. Once I make it to the door, I open it, and find Harry smiling brightly at me with one hand behind his back.
"Hey Harry," I return his smile.
He brings his hand around to show me a pink tulip he's holding. For me? How does he even know I love tulips?
"Good evening, love. Ready to go?" he greets as he hands the tulip to me.
It smells absolutely lovely. No one has ever done something like this for me before. Such a small gesture, but it has a huge impact.
"Thank you for this. Yes I'm all set."
Jennifer and Hayley clear their throats behind me before I walk out with him.
Let's just get this over with I suppose. I better not be making a mistake by doing this.
"Harry wait," I tell him, turning us around. "These are my cousins, Jen and Hayley. Jen, Hayley, this is Harry."
They both blush as Harry shakes their hands.
"It's so great to finally meet you. We're both such big fans. But really, thanks for taking her out, she seriously needs it." Jennifer laughs nervously, bravely speaking first.
"Okay..." I rush them. They don't need to embarrass me, I fear what is about to come.
"Alright, alright Rach. You both have fun, but not too much fun," Hayley jokes, or at least attempts to.
"I'll only do what she allows me to. She's a hard one to make her say yes." Harry smirks as my jaw drops, and my cousins laugh way too hard.
Harry grabs my hand and leads me out of the flat before I can get a word in. We quickly stroll to his Range Rover, under the pouring rain and he helps me in. I should have brought an umbrella.
Once he gets into the car I finally notice what he's wearing, and damn is it attractive. His hair is down just the way I love it, and he's dressed in some floral button up, which he decided to button up practically halfway. I couldn't care less, the chance to see his beautifully inked chest is something I'd happily take.
"I guess we dressed somewhat similar?" I tell him, pointing to my floral blouse. He stares at me and grins.
"Seems we did, though you look way better." he almost whispers as we get onto the road and into the city. I laugh at his comment and blush as he rests his freehand on my thigh. I put mine over his, purposely this time, and he entwines our fingers again. This night is already going really well, and it just got started.
Harry opens his mouth to speak but his phone rings, silencing him. Harry looks a tad annoyed. He removes his hand from mine to grab his phone, and a whimper involuntarily exits my mouth from the loss of his touch. I flush but luckily I don't think Harry heard me.
"Hello?" Harry answers, already sounding somewhat impatient.
I can't hear who's on the other line or what they are saying, but Harry's hands tense on the wheel and his expression suddenly changes.
"What do you mean they know?! How the hell does someone find this out? It was the restaurant wasn't it? Fuck!" He yells before hanging up the phone and shoving it back in his pocket.
What on earth is going on?
"Harry? Is everything alright?" I ask him calmly, nervously stretching my hand over to hold his but luckily he accepts my gesture.
"Ugh...no. The paparazzi found out about my reservations at the restaurant I chose for us tonight and they are waiting there for us. We can't fucking go there now."
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A/N
we are getting to a really good part next chapter and i'm so excited to write it and for you to read it!
please vote for this story, comment suggestions for me, and thanks for reading it! ily all, thanks. -lexia :)