Emily knew she looked like complete shit, but she didn't care in the slightest. She was wearing a pair of Jared's grey track pants that she'd stolen from him after letting her borrow them one night and a over-sized New York Giants jersey she knew belonged to Benny. Her hair was piled atop her head in a messy bun and her face was blotchy and her nose was bright red. Emily had a disgusting cold and she felt like shit, hence why she didn't care if she looked like it. She couldn't breathe out of her nose even though it kept running like a leaking faucet, her throat was sore as if she'd swallowed razor blades and her joints and limbs ached making her feel like an eighty year old woman.
She'd done absolutely nothing in the past 2 weeks, other than feel like shit. Jared had gone to New Orleans to start shooting for Dallas Buyers Club. He'd left a few days after their little fumble in the pool and he'd told her that they were shooting this film in quick succession so he'd only been gone for a month at the maximum. But that didn't stop Emily from moping about after he'd gone. In the few days leading up to Jared's departure, the same few days after their kiss Emily expected them to be awkward and unusual. But they weren't. Nothing changed really. Jared didn't stop sneaking his arms around her waist when they were working, Emily didn't stop grabbing Jared's hand in hers whenever he was standing close by, they didn't stop snuggling against each other as they walked to their secret spot on the hills. They acted in the same needy and loving way towards each other as they had before they kissed, the only change being that now they found themselves sneaking off to make out much more, acting as if they were teenagers again.
As Jared had been elsewhere in the country for the past 14 days, the only means they had of speaking was over the phone or just to text each other. Emily was always the one to text Jared, maybe a picture of something funny she'd seen that day she wanted him to find funny too, or a silly question or theory she'd heard just to spark a conversation with him, but Jared, he would always call Emily. He'd been calling her without fail every evening around 11 o' clock. They'd speak about their days and inform each other what was going on around them until Jared picked up the sleep in Emily's voice and let her get to bed. Emily couldn't help but feel like they were kind of an old married couple, considering that they could have a conversation for at least a couple of hours about barely anything at all, and Emily quite liked that about their relationship.
From the hunched up position Emily found herself in as she lay on her sofa feeling sorry for herself she noticed her phone vibrating against the floorboards beside her. She peered down at the tiny screen and saw Jared's name flashing upon it. She then glanced at the clock and noticed that he was calling a few hours earlier than he usually did in the evenings. But never the less she reached her aching arm towards the phone and answered his call without a second thought.
"Hey." Emily answered and her voice was muffled and nasally due to her horrific cold.
"Still sick then?" Jared's voice was clear and upbeat and it made her smile just hearing the sound of him.
"You can tell that bad?" She heard him laugh slightly.
"Yeah, but you sound better than you did last week."
"I don't feel any better." Jared could of sworn he heard her lip pout through the receiver.
"Well I might have something for you that will make you feel better." Emily knitted her eyebrows as she heard his statement and clocked on to his sultry voice.
"If you're trying to initiate phone sex babe, I'm really not up for that." She heard him laugh down the phone and she felt her stomach quiver slightly as the sound of his laugh was becoming her favorite noise.
"No phone sex tonight honey." Jared was still chuckling.
"So what do you have for me then?"
"I sent you something." Jared paused, he could hear Emily sniffling quietly and he couldn't hold back the mischievous grin that spread across his face. He had to put a hand over his mouth to control his glee.
"You did? What did you send me?!" A subtle knock against the door caused Emily's glance to quickly fall upon it and she loudly sighed and rubbed a hand against her forehead. "Hold on J, someone's at the door." She groaned slightly as she stood and shuffled towards the old wooden door with her phone still pressed to her ear. She unlocked the chain in a fuss as she really didn't want to talk to anyone else that evening other than Jared and pulled the door open in a flurry.
She felt the air freeze in her lungs as she didn't really know how to react. She thought maybe she was tripping, a weird side effect of all the cough medicine she'd drank. Maybe she was just missing him more than she thought she was. But when she saw that smile and heard that faint chuckle she knew all too well, she knew for definite that Jared was stood in front of her. Emily gasped quickly, letting the breath move through her lungs again and she opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out.
"Surprise." Jared opened his arms to her and Emily didn't need another second before she'd lurched herself forward, throwing her arms around his neck and holding him so close she could of sworn she felt his heart beating against her chest.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
He felt her eyes on his face, her gaze burning his clean shaven and bare features. They'd been sat quietly for some time, the television on in the background with the volume down low, her legs draped over his lap and his hands softly caressing the smooth skin of her legs he'd exposed after pushing the legs of her grey track pants up. He was feeling content and peaceful, a feeling that he openly welcomed after the past weeks he'd spent filming. It had taken him a little time to step back into his own shoes after walking in Rayon's 24 hours a day, but he felt like a normal person sat there beside her. He smiled to himself in that moment, feeling like he'd come home from a normal 9 to 5 job, not a Hollywood movie set. He slowly leant his head back against the back of the coach and slowly turned to look at Emily. Her eyes were exactly where he thought they were, locked on to his face.
"You okay?" His voice was quiet and his touch was gentle against her skin. Emily didn't move much, only nodded her head somewhat and smiled a tight lipped sincere smile. Jared blinked a few times, etching the way she looked into his memories. Her hair, fashioned into a bun was a thick and manic ball, her cute button nose was glowing red and her delicious eyes were bloodshot. He smiled at her face too, breathing deeply, feeling his heart rate dim, relaxing for the first time in a while. Emily suddenly shuffled next to him, sitting herself upright. She reached forward slowly and ran her fingertips over Jared's jaw line. She'd never seen him without facial hair, and she felt as though she was looking at a different man.
"So weird." She breathed, not speaking to Jared. Her eyes were all over his skin. Taking in the lack of hair and how it gave her the chance to study his real features that laid underneath the layers of fuzz he once acquired.
"Thanks." Jared teased, laughing softly. She chuckled too, her eyes falling upon his own and her fingers lingered on his chin.
"I don't mean it like that. It's just weird seeing your face like this. I've never seen your chin before." She laughed at her last sentence and Jared's face glowed bright with amusement. "That's weird isn't it. That this if the first time I'm seeing your chin." They laughed together for a while until Emily's hand moved up to cup his cheek, she felt the slight prickle against her palm and was surprised at how fast his facial hair grew back. Jared quickly moved his face into her hand, placing a soft kiss against her palm and the smile on Emily's face grew as well as the swell of ever growing love in her heart.
"This is the first time you're seeing me without eyebrows too." Jared opened his eyes widely and it took Emily a moment to realize that if he did in fact have eyebrows they'd be raised, she scrunched up her nose and furrowed her brow at the oddness of Jared raising his non existent eyebrows and she licked her lips quickly.
"Yeah, I don't think you should make a habit of waxing them off." She then pulled her hand from the side of his face and ran a fingertip against the bare skin where his thick eyebrows should be. She pulled the same face once again, scrunched nose and tensed brows at the odd feeling of prickly skin where she should be feeling soft hair.
"So weird!" She repeated laughing aloud. Emily pulled her fingers away from his skin, linked her fingers together and placed her hands in her lap. Jared shifted quickly so his body was facing hers, she remained draped over him, his hands still stroking her silky skin. She sunk her side against the back of the sofa, leaning her head on the coach to match the man in front of her. There eyes level with each other. "I missed you." Emily spoke in a confident voice and Jared felt his breathing falter.
Jared moved. He fidgeted slightly, moving Emily's legs around but never lifting them of his lap. He leant his upper body forward until he was laying on the coach with her legs still covering him but now with his head in Emily's lap. She didn't hesitate, as soon as his head was nestled between her legs she ran her fingers through his shaggy hair, twirling it around her fingers and she felt him take a deep breath against her skin and she looked down at him and saw that'd he'd closed his tired eyes.
"I missed you." Jared spoke softly as he nuzzled his face against the fabric of his own grey track pants that now smelled of her. Her fingers never stopped against his scalp and he felt himself slowly drifting into a deep sleep, the last thing he heard before he surrendered to unconsciousness was Emily's voice, telling him that she was proud of him.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Jared had forgotten what the day entailed. When he walked through the door of his home he expected to be met with a calm atmosphere and his friends and colleagues working away on their projects, but he walked through the door to find people lugging wires and lights from room to room, people yelling commands and orders. Everyone seemed to be so busy they didn't even noticed Jared walking through the door. He'd completely forgotten that there was a VyRt today, and he wasn't in the mood for it in the slightest. He'd just gotten home from Emily's apartment after spending the night tucked up next to her in bed, holding her close and nuzzling his face into her hair and he'd gotten the best sleep he'd had in years. It had taken a lot of will power that morning for him to leave her bed. He protested for as long as physically possible, clinging onto the woman by his side and wriggling deeper into the sheets. He knew though it was futile, he had to go back to The Lab, people were expecting him back and he knew there would be some work there for him to complete. As he left Emily behind in her apartment, he kissed her lips and then her temple, telling her to stay inside and rest and try and get rid of her cold and that he'd be back later that evening.
He was hoping he could just sneak in unnoticed and play it off like he'd been home a lot longer than he had, but he should of known better. Emma came stampeding into the hall to catch him still adorning his coat and shoes, his fake big rimmed glasses covering his eyes and a backpack slung over his shoulder. She stopped in her tracks and dragged her eyes up and down him as Jared froze, refraining from even blinking. When she surveyed the entirety of his body and settled on his gaunt face, he couldn't read her features, he couldn't tell what was going though her head. It was until she just moved along, continuing on her rampage through his home that he knew for a fact she was pissed at him. He'd accepted at that point that he'll never understand what Emma's problem with Emily was. Everyone else in the team seemed to get along with her. Everyone else didn't mind having a casual conversation with her and everyone else believed that she was a worthwhile addition to the group. Emma was the only one with an opinion of her. An opinion Jared couldn't begin to fathom. He'd all but given up hope with trying to bring Emma round to the new woman in his life. Lord knows he'd tried. Emily even tried too, asking her questions about work or complimenting her on a item of clothing she'd be wearing, but Emma just gave her the cold shoulder, so Jared insisted Emily just stop trying to be friends with his assistant as it hurt him to see Emily trying to be nice, only to me met with spitefulness is return.
Jared threw his backpack down in the hall and kicked his boots off. He looked all the way through into the kitchen at the clock hung above the stove. He had at least 2 hours before he'd have to VyRt. 2 hours was enough time to sit and relax and let the people who's wages he paid do all the hard work for him. He sauntered into the studio to find Shannon, Jamie and Tomo all in the soundproof pod, nodding there heads to whatever beat was playing through the speakers. He smiled at the sight of his friends and let himself in. In unison the three boys all glanced up at him as he walked into the small concrete room and in unison the same smirk invaded the three boys faces.
"Don't" Jared grinned holding up a hand, trying to hold back the onslaught he was about to receive, even though he knew it was inevitable.
"Well, well, well!" Shannon was the first to start. "What time do you call this Squirt?!"
"What do you mean?" Jared took a seat on the only unoccupied computer chair, resting his ankle against his knee.
"Your flight from New Orleans got in at 9pm last night..."
"Your point?"
"It's 3 in the afternoon."
The boys all bored into Jared's quickly smirking face and Shannon burst out in his loud obnoxious laugh, finding great amusement in the situation.
"I was at Emily's." Jared declared somewhat smugly, his smirk still apparent as he swiveled slightly on his chair.
"Yeah no shit." Shannon chuckled.
"How is Emily?" Tomo asked.
"She's fine. Apart from having a nasty cold, she's okay."
"She's sick?!" Jamie asked sounding completely flabbergasted.
"Yeah. Why do you sound so shocked?!"
"I just..." Jamie trailed off. "I mean, you're like the biggest germophobe going. And you spent the night with a girl who's sick." Jamie raised his eyebrows and Shannon's face lit up with glee.
Jared remained silent. The heaviness of Jamie's point hitting him like a ton of bricks. He was right. He was a huge germophobe. Shit, he didn't ever like shaking hands with people in fear of getting sick yet there he was making out and spooning a girl all night who was suffering with a cold from hell. Jared swallowed, trying to think of some witty reply to shut the boys up, but Shannon asked him something point blank that made his stomach drop and his palms sweaty.
"Have you fallen for her?"
Three sets of eyes bored into Jared's face and he felt his pulse rush as he panicked. He didn't know what to say, not really. He didn't know if he had fallen for Emily himself. All he knew was that she consumed 95% of all thoughts in his mind and that he felt lonely when she wasn't close to him. He felt the emptiness when she wasn't there. He felt the inner longing, the pining inside for her, to be close to her. Jared licked his lips and formulated his answer carefully. If he answered no, then he would be lying somewhat. But if he answered yes, then he'd be lying also. He was in the middle. Slowly falling for her with each time he saw her face. And he was okay with that. He'd gotten so used to things always being fast paced; Touring, making music, charity events, publicity events. Jared was always on the move and always doing something and he couldn't help but feel that whenever he was with Emily things slowed down slightly. The world became clearer and peaceful and he was able to breathe finally. For a long time Jared had been secretly desiring something. He wanted nothing more than to wake up every morning in the same bed, in the same house, on the same street next to the same woman. And he had this bizarre feeling festering away in his gut that he could achieve that desire with Emily. Jared licked and lips and darted his gaze around the room, not settling on anyone's face for too long, and answered.
"So what if I have?"
"Jesus Jared." Shannon rose from his seat. "You're in deeper than you realize buddy." He clapped Jared on the shoulder as he exited the studio leaving a speechless Jared behind. "Not that it's a bad thing, it's just different. For you." His voice got quieter and quieter as Shannon continued to speak as he ventured deeper into the lab.
"Don't worry Jared." Tomo soothed. "Emily's an awesome girl. She's sweet, she's funny and she's a bad ass photographer. There are definitely worse girls out there that you can catch a cold from." Jared smiled at his band mate and appreciated his words. He was about to tell him how thankful he was that Tomo voiced his opinion when he heard a slight scoff from the entrance of the pod. He shot his head to see who was the culprit to find Emma poking her head through the door.
"We need you upstairs guys." Emma announced before closing the door behind her. Jared narrowed his eyes at the space she just occupied and wished he'd said something to her, said something to shut her up and put her in her place or asked what exactly her problem was that she couldn't even hear others talking about Emily without feeling the need to scoff.
"And don't worry about Emma," Tomo spoke once more, standing from his seat and passing Jared, leaving the small concrete room. "No one else understands why she's acting like this either."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The streets were quiet and asleep and the cold chill in the air bite into Emily, chilling her to the bone. She didn't really know what to expect as she stood at the front door to Jared's home in the early hours of the morning. All she knew was he'd called her, waking her up from her sleep, declaring that he needed to see her. He needed her to come to his home. She was unsure as to why, what had happened for him to need her company so bad but she wasn't about to question it and have him revoke his offer of having her over. She noticed how manic he sounded over the phone. His voice was shaky and he was taking heavy and unnerved breaths and it made Emily bite her lip with concern. She'd never heard him like that before and it made her panic. He'd been home from shooting Dallas Buyers Club for a few days and had seemed perfectly happy getting back into the swing of things at the lab. It was like he'd never left. But she still jumped out of her bed and threw on and old Miami Dolphins sweatshirt before he'd even finished asking her to come over, the tone of his voice enough to spring Emily into action. In the cab ride to his home Emily couldn't help but relate how she was feeling to Jared, she wondered if this was how he felt when she had called him that one night, asking if he would come and get her from that horrific party Benny invited her too. Still standing on his doorstep, she sent him a brief text messages announcing that she was outside. Waiting for him to answer she wrapped her arms around herself and shook her knees, trying to keep the feeling in her legs. The door opened quickly to reveal a very skinny, very troubled looking Jared wearing as many layers as Emily. He smiled at her and held a hand out for her to grasp onto. Once her hand was in his he gently pulled her inside his home and locked the door behind her.
Emily studied his face. His eyes were big and glassy and his shoulders were tense. She could pretty much see the stress and anxiety overflowing from his being and she licked her lips and breathed steadily as she tried to digest that she'd have to look after someone for once instead of being the one who was being looked after.
"Thanks for coming, I know it's late. I just needed someone." Jared spoke softly. His voice not as exasperated as it was over the phone as he glanced down at the floor. Emily swallowed and stepped closer to him. She reached forward and gingerly touched his biceps. He looked up at her and his face looked broken. He looked exhausted.
"What's wrong Jared?" Emily asked in her softest tone and slowly rubbed her palms against his arms. Jared breathed, exhaling through his nose. In that moment he leant his entire body forward. His head falling against Emily's shoulder and she instinctively wrapped her arms around his upper body. He slowly held her around the waist, grabbing and clinging to her jumper. She felt his shoulder vibrate and the choppy breaths against her skin and she knew he was sobbing. She panicked slightly. She didn't know how to deal with a crying Jared. Fuck, she didn't know to deal with anyone crying. She was so used to being the one people had to coddle and nurture she had no clue where to begin when someone else was in that state. She felt so awful for Jared. She'd built up this image of him in her head because that's the only thing she knew him as, Emily saw Jared as her knight in shining armor to come and whisk her away from danger and keep her safe from the darkness she once dwelled in but with him crying on her shoulder, she understood then that maybe he was just as fragile as she was.
Emily wove her fingers through his tousled hair and placed the softest of kisses to the side of his head. She waited, soothing him like an infant until his shoulders began to shake less to lead him out of the hall and sit him down on the big U shaped sofa. She made him a quick glass of water and rushed back to his side. Jared was upright now, leaning back against the coach with a hand covering his tired face. Emily lowered herself next to him. Her body facing his and her legs crossed beneath her. She reached for Jared's hand, the one masking his features and removed it, gently cradling it in her lap between her palms. Jared looked at Emily with red and teary eyes and her heart plummeted at the sight of her knight looking so sad.
"Jared." Emily whispered softly, squeezing his hand in hers. "Talk to me."
"It's just this role." His voice was wobbly and his lip quivered as he spoke. "It's just... I didn't expect it to be like this."
"What's wrong with playing Rayon?"
"Nothing. She's an amazing character to play. It's just physically... I don't know, I think I've bitten of more than I can chew."
"You're doing well so far."
Jared scoffed at Emily's comment. "I'm not doing well honey." With his hand that wasn't between Emily's he rubbed his tired eyes.
"Yeah you are. I'm so proud of you Jay." Emily pushed his other hand out of his eyes so he'd focus on her. "You are so brave to do this role, and you're doing so well. Please don't be down heartened."
"I can't help it babe." Jared leaned his head back against the coach and pulled his hand out of Emily's grasped and wrapped it around her waist, pulling her towards him. She shuffled slightly closer, leaning into his side.
"Why? What are you finding difficult." Jared closed his eyes and tucked his hand under the hem of Emily's sweatshirt, his palm connecting with the bar skin of her waist. Emily reached forward and tilted his head so his face was facing hers. He opened his eyes to see her beautiful brown ones. "Tell me Jay."
"It's just so intense." His breathing slowed to it's normal rhythm. "I knew it was going to be hard. Losing weight and all that, but I'd done that before so I didn't think anything of it. Losing weight isn't the hard part though..." Jared trailed off.
"Then what is?"
"I'm finding it difficult." Jared swallowed, trying to keep the sobs at bay. "I'm finding it difficult to separate myself from the character." Emily wriggled closer to him, coaxing him on and Jared began to gently trace circles against the skin of her waist. "When I'm on set, I'm Rayon. For the whole day whether I'd be shooting or not shooting I'm her. I'm in character. And coming back home for this break, it's hard to like, come back down. Even though I'm home, surrounded by everyone I don't feel like me, I still feel like her. I look in the mirror and I just see Rayon. Do you see what I'm trying to say?" Emily nodded and placed her palm against he chest.
"Yeah. You spend 24 hours a day for a month away from your family and friends, as a completely different person. Coming home is bound to be weird considering you've been in someone else's shoes for a while." Jared breathed deeply as a weak smile engulfed his lips.
"Exactly. I don't know. I'm just having a few re-entry problems is all."
"Is that why you asked me to come over? To help you re-enter?"
"I asked you to come over because I didn't want to be alone." Jared's eyes never left hers and they both felt the air thicken between them. "I want you close to me."
"I'm close to you now."
"You're not close enough."
The gaze between them was heavy, like a battle between a lion and a tiger. Both hesitating and both anticipating. Emily felt Jared's hand on her waist so much more now with the thick haze of lust and desire that had swarmed them both and her breathing began to quicken. Jared could tell this, he saw it in the way her chest rose faster and could see the excitement in her eyes. He had to fight his instincts to keep his hand still against her waist and not grab and throw her like he wanted to so badly. He could feel the temperature rise and as it did his desire to have his way with her only increased. an
Before Emily's mind had caught up with itself Jared had pulled her forward with the hand on her waist so her upper body was pressed tightly against his. He locked both arms around her keeping her captive against him as her fingers sunk into his hair. Their mouths collided in a fury and they wasted no time in ravishing one another, fighting for dominance. Jared reached a hand upwards to grab the ends of her hair and tugged them down sharply causing Emily's head to fall backwards. As soon as her neck was exposed Jared's mouth invaded and Emily gasped at the feel of his lips against such sensitive skin. Emily was losing her inhibitions and Jared knew as he felt her hand slowly move down his chest and unbutton the top of his jeans. He smirked against her neck as she swung a leg over his lap, straddling him, nestling him under her. She looked at him then and took in the want in his eyes and the smirk on his lips and when she heard a dirty laugh fall from his mouth she pushed her mouth towards his once more, pressing her whole body against his as she did so. Jared wasted no time in grabbing at the hem of her sweatshirt and pulling it away from her body and he groaned audibly at what he found underneath. She wasn't wearing anything and he found himself in front of her bare chest and he thought to himself that she looked so much better in real life than she did in that picture he'd secretly set as his wallpaper. He leaned forward and peppered tiny kisses over her collarbones and slowly moved south until his mouth covered her nipple. Emily moaned and bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes indulging in the feeling of his lips on her. She wove her fingers back into his hair and tugged on the dark strands and she felt him groan against her at the sensation she given him.
Emily glanced down then, watching Jared press himself against her body, and a feeling of sympathy washed over her. Not a moment ago, the man against her chest was sobbing on her shoulder and now he was latched onto her. She was enjoying it, of course. She would of loved for it to continue, she knew that also. But she also knew that Jared was in a very strange place mentally at that time. He didn't feel like himself, and she understood why. If it was any other man, she would of just shut her brain up and let them continue. She would of fucked them and then left, getting what she needed. But this wasn't any other man, this was Jared. Did she really want their first time to be after Jared openly admitted that he was having re-entry problems? That he didn't feel like himself? She asked herself the questions and knew that she didn't want what was about to happen. Emily and Jared were on the verge of fucking each other, and she didn't want that. She wanted Jared to take her. To make love to her. She wanted him to claim her.
Emily gingerly tugged on Jared's hair enough for him to pull back and crane his neck upwards to look at her face. She smiled at him and leaned down to place a gentle kiss against his swollen lips. His arms tightened around her back, clinging onto her body. Her long curls fell around his face and the smell of her shampoo engulfed his head. When Emily pulled back she moved her fingers from his hair to his face. Their eyes locked and Emily ran her thumb over his bottom lip.
"Jay." She whispered. "Are you sure this is what you want to do right now?"
Jared blinked a few times, trying to decide for himself if now was the right time. He thought for a moment on how he felt in that moment, how he truly felt, which was weak, tired and very lost. Jared grinned up at Emily, in awe that she'd caught on to his inner feelings well enough to realize that what was about to happen between them probably would have been best avoided. He wasn't in the right place to have sex with her, he knew that himself deep down, Emily just managed to catch onto it before he did. She was so smart. Smarter than he thought she was and he shock his head in disbelief. Disbelief of how perfect the girl on top of him was proving to be.
"I'm sorry." Jared spoke softly, gazing up at Emily's face. She gave him a warm and understanding smile and rubbed her thumbs against his cheekbones and his hands ran up and down her rib cage.
"Don't be silly." Emily pecked his lips. "Nothing wrong with getting a bit carried away." Jared breathed a silent laugh.
"One day we will." Jared stated.
"One day." Emily grinned. "When you're fighting fit again." She poked his belly and he smiled at her.
Jared opened his mouth to say something without thinking it through. Three words were on the tip of his tongue. But he swallowed them quickly. He shocked himself at how easy it came to him to say those words to her. How easily that feeling had snuck up on him, but it wasn't the right time. It wasn't the moment for that declaration.
"Thank you." He breathed instead.
"What for?"
"For taking care of me."
"I'm only doing for you what you do for me." Emily kissed his nose. "We look after each other." She stated, sitting back on his jean clad thighs and Jared nodded, agreeing to their mutual pact.
"We look after each other." He repeated with a content grin graced on his lips.