North of Heaven (A Jared Leto Fanfiction)

SIX

The subtle sound of crunching stirred Emily from her sleep. She blinked a few times as she wriggled her body under her duvet as she thought she was just imagining the sound, her mind still playing tricks on her as the minuscule remains of the drugs still floated around her body. But when she heard the sound again accompanied by the clink of silverware against china, she scanned her tiny bedroom.

Jared was sat up right, his eyes watching the old television on her dresser and a bowl of what Emily made out to be cereal in his hands. He hadn't noticed that Emily was now laying on her back staring up at him with his gaze firmly set on the news cast that was playing on her TV as he shoveled a spoonful of overflowing fruit loops into his mouth, a few of them falling of the spoon and landing in his beard. As he placed the spoon into the bowl and settled it neatly in his lap, without looking at Emily for a second, his hand went to the top of her head as he began to weave his fingers through her thick hair rubbing her head as if she was a cat who had curled up beside him. He was still fixated on the news as Emily peered up at him as he massaged her scalp and he hadn't notice she was even awake until she giggled under her breathe. He looked down at her with his fingers still lost in the dark curls and smiled at her.

"You've got a fruit loop in your beard." Emily giggled as she pushed herself up right, snuggling into his side and bringing the duvet with her, nestling it under her chin. Jared laughed and removed the escaped fruit loop and threw it in the bowl in his lap and let Emily wriggle close to him. He knew they had to speak soon, about the previous night. But he didn't want to be too hasty, hoping Emily would be the first to speak. He waited a few minutes for her to begin, but with no indication of Emily planning to talk, he thought he'd be the first to.

"How are you feeling this morning?" He nudged her head gently with his shoulder. There was a beat of silence before she replied.

"Embarrassed."

"What are you embarrassed for?" Jared was watching the top of her head, waiting for her to look up at him, he wanted her to see the sincerity in his eyes and make her feel the safety he was trying to wrap around her.

"Because." Emily breathed deeply. "Because you should of never seen what you did last night. I'm embarrassed I made you see that." Jared couldn't deny what he'd seen at that crack house party had disturbed him. He hadn't slept much that night due to the image still playing in his mind, but he was more concerned about Emily. Worried that she'd seen more than that incident he had and how easily that could have been her.

"Yeah but, that wasn't your fault was it?" He nudged her head once more and she peered up at him. His eyes were intense as they looked so deep within hers she could feel them gazing into her soul. "You shouldn't be embarrassed about something that was out of your control."

"It was in my control though Jared. I didn't have to call you. I didn't have to make you come and get me, you could of avoided seeing that whole thing. It's my fault."

"Don't be stupid." He laughed softly meaning nothing but the best. "I'm glad you called me." His eyes bleed with honesty. "If you didn't call me, you could have been that girl last night." He watched her swallow, she knew he was telling the truth. "Don't be so stupid to be embarrassed by something like calling me when you need me."

Emily sat upright, removing herself from Jared's side and reached over into her bedside table pulling out a carton of cigarettes and a small bowl she used as an ashtray. She lit the cigarette and inhaled deeply, resting her head back against the wall gazing up at the ceiling. She could feel Jared's eyes on the side of her face and she felt like she was under a microscope. Even though he tried to stop her from feeling bad about the previous night, she couldn't help but feel like a complete idiot. She knew in some respects that Jared was right, he did come and save her, and it could have been her on the sidewalk having a fit. But the guilt continued to fester in her stomach that he'd seen something horrifying because she'd led him too it.