The subtle sound of crunching stirred Emily from her sleep. She blinked a few times as she wriggled her body under her duvet as she thought she was just imagining the sound, her mind still playing tricks on her as the minuscule remains of the drugs still floated around her body. But when she heard the sound again accompanied by the clink of silverware against china, she scanned her tiny bedroom.
Jared was sat up right, his eyes watching the old television on her dresser and a bowl of what Emily made out to be cereal in his hands. He hadn't noticed that Emily was now laying on her back staring up at him with his gaze firmly set on the news cast that was playing on her TV as he shoveled a spoonful of overflowing fruit loops into his mouth, a few of them falling of the spoon and landing in his beard. As he placed the spoon into the bowl and settled it neatly in his lap, without looking at Emily for a second, his hand went to the top of her head as he began to weave his fingers through her thick hair rubbing her head as if she was a cat who had curled up beside him. He was still fixated on the news as Emily peered up at him as he massaged her scalp and he hadn't notice she was even awake until she giggled under her breathe. He looked down at her with his fingers still lost in the dark curls and smiled at her.
"You've got a fruit loop in your beard." Emily giggled as she pushed herself up right, snuggling into his side and bringing the duvet with her, nestling it under her chin. Jared laughed and removed the escaped fruit loop and threw it in the bowl in his lap and let Emily wriggle close to him. He knew they had to speak soon, about the previous night. But he didn't want to be too hasty, hoping Emily would be the first to speak. He waited a few minutes for her to begin, but with no indication of Emily planning to talk, he thought he'd be the first to.
"How are you feeling this morning?" He nudged her head gently with his shoulder. There was a beat of silence before she replied.
"Embarrassed."
"What are you embarrassed for?" Jared was watching the top of her head, waiting for her to look up at him, he wanted her to see the sincerity in his eyes and make her feel the safety he was trying to wrap around her.
"Because." Emily breathed deeply. "Because you should of never seen what you did last night. I'm embarrassed I made you see that." Jared couldn't deny what he'd seen at that crack house party had disturbed him. He hadn't slept much that night due to the image still playing in his mind, but he was more concerned about Emily. Worried that she'd seen more than that incident he had and how easily that could have been her.
"Yeah but, that wasn't your fault was it?" He nudged her head once more and she peered up at him. His eyes were intense as they looked so deep within hers she could feel them gazing into her soul. "You shouldn't be embarrassed about something that was out of your control."
"It was in my control though Jared. I didn't have to call you. I didn't have to make you come and get me, you could of avoided seeing that whole thing. It's my fault."
"Don't be stupid." He laughed softly meaning nothing but the best. "I'm glad you called me." His eyes bleed with honesty. "If you didn't call me, you could have been that girl last night." He watched her swallow, she knew he was telling the truth. "Don't be so stupid to be embarrassed by something like calling me when you need me."
Emily sat upright, removing herself from Jared's side and reached over into her bedside table pulling out a carton of cigarettes and a small bowl she used as an ashtray. She lit the cigarette and inhaled deeply, resting her head back against the wall gazing up at the ceiling. She could feel Jared's eyes on the side of her face and she felt like she was under a microscope. Even though he tried to stop her from feeling bad about the previous night, she couldn't help but feel like a complete idiot. She knew in some respects that Jared was right, he did come and save her, and it could have been her on the sidewalk having a fit. But the guilt continued to fester in her stomach that he'd seen something horrifying because she'd led him too it.
"I'm sorry Jared." Emily spoke quietly, as if she was speaking to herself. Her eyes never leaving the ceiling. "I'm really sorry." She felt him shift beside her. His body now facing towards her. "I'm supposed to be your employee. I'm supposed to be your photographer. And look at me. Look at my life." She placed the cigarette to her mouth and pulled on it slowly. Exhaling from her nose. "I'm no good, Jared. I'm no fucking good." Emily threw the duvet of her body as she felt the tears sting her eyes. She needed to get away from him before she lost control of her emotions, revealing to him just how unstable she truly was. As she walked into the living room of her apartment, she stubbed out her cigarette and heard him calling her name, but ignored him as best she could. Just like she thought he would, he followed her into the living room and Jared was surprised to see her stood holding open the front door.
"You should go Jared." He noticed her lip quivering. "You've all ready done so much for me," She licked her lips and swallowed. "But you need to go and not come back." Jared didn't move a muscle, just stood his ground watching her. "I'm no good Jared." She repeated, this time a little louder than she had before. "Please, just go." She croaked and a small sob escaped her lungs. Jared walked towards the door as if he was going to do as Emily ordered and leave. But to her surprised he just pulled the door from her grasped, closed it and locked it. Leaving them both stood facing each other.
"I'm not going anywhere Emily." Jared reached a hand out brushing a lone tear from her cheek that had escaped her eye and she turned her head into his touch. He stepped towards her, trapping her against the wall. He brought his other hand up and held her face in place so he could stare into those brown pools of chocolate he was finding so hard to resist and whispered, "Please let me stay."
Emily couldn't stop the tears. She was broken. Her life and spirit was shattered into thousands of pieces. She'd known this for sometime now, so that wasn't what upset her. The fact that Jared was refusing to leave was what was making her cry and the inevitable fact that he was becoming more and more of an acquaintance to that side of her. She was scared. Scared to be around him. She didn't want him to get to know her because she was always so ashamed of herself. She didn't want him to be associated with her. He was far too well known and she would destroy his name. She was terrified that she was going to ruin him without meaning it whatsoever.
"Why do you want to?" Emily regained some composure. "You saw what happened last night. That is my life Jared. Why do you want to stay when that's who I am-"
"That is not who you are!" Jared cut her off, his fingers had slipped down from her cheeks to her neck. "I know that whatever that scene was last night. That is not where you belong." Jared continued to move his hands lower, his fingertips brushing over her collarbones and down her arms so he was grasping her elbows. "If you were anything at all like them wasters then I wouldn't have needed to pick you up and I wouldn't of found you crying and scared, would I?"
Jared knew that Emily knew he was right. She wasn't one of them people, he knew it as clear as day. He just couldn't understand why Emily didn't believe it. Was her self esteem so low that she honestly believed that she was like them people with nothing to live for? Jared's heart sunk at the idea that she honestly thought that was what she was worth and he promised himself that he'd show her a completely different life, one she deserved.
"What are you doing here Jared?" Emily sniffed and asked him, knocking his focus away from his plea to himself to protect her onto the seriousness of her tone. He furrowed his brow and tilted his head slightly and she could see he didn't quite understand what she was getting at. "Why did you stay with me last night? Why did you stay here?"
"Because." Jared took his time, thinking his answer over. He didn't really have a reason, he just simply didn't want to leave her by herself. "I wanted to look after you." Emily shook her head as she looked at the ground. He couldn't read her emotions too well. She walked across the room and planted herself in the furthest corner of the sofa leaving him stood dumbfounded. "Do you have a problem with me wanting to look after you?" Jared didn't move from where he stood and the look of confusion never left his face.
"I don't need looking after." Emily was aggravated. She didn't know what Jared's angle was or why he'd taken it upon himself to baby sit her. Sure she had feelings for the guy, had them since she met him in that charity event, but she wasn't a child.
"You needed looking after last night." Jared countered.
"Yeah but last night I was fucked up. I didn't want to call you in the first place, the only reason I did was because you were the only person I had in my contacts that I knew would come and take me home. I didn't need anyone to stay with me overnight and I definitely didn't need to wake up to anyone and have them stroke my hair and linger around in the morning." Emily was being hostile just because he hadn't left the first time she asked him too. If she was honest with herself, she wanted him to stay, badly. She liked waking up to him in the morning and she wouldn't mind making that a usual occurrence but she was a bad girl, and there was too much riding on her job title that he'd given her and the fear that she'd drive his reputation into the ground was far too great to ignore.
Jared wasn't stupid. He saw right through her words and he could tell this was some defense mechanism she had, being cold. She was trying to get him out the door once again. But it wouldn't work, he'd made the decision he was staying whether she liked it or not because whether or not she was aware of it yet he was going to put her life back together piece by piece. He made a quick and spontaneous decision and walked over to her slowly and instead of taking a seat next to her he sat himself down on the coffee table so he could look directly at her face.
"In the last five years I've not met one woman who made me feel the way you do. Every girl I've met has either tried to sleep with me right of the bat, bored me to death with an empty conversation or followed me around like a lost little puppy. But you, I can't explain it. You make me feel like a person and not a photo opportunity." Emily's eyes softened and he knew then that opening up to her was a good decision well made. "Remember when I told you that night on the hills that I perfected loneliness. That's because I hadn't found anyone worth not being lonely for, but you. I don't know what it is. I just feel this empty space within me whenever you're not around me. To be honest, when I found out you were a photographer, and an amazing photographer at that, I didn't need another second to offer you a job. You're nothing I've ever found before, you're like a rare diamond or something. I'm not asking you to be with me and I'm not asking you to consider anything. I just don't want to leave yet."
His ice blue eyes bored into her face and she felt them freeze her heart, stuttering the beating and causing her lungs to struggle to inhale full breaths. She didn't believe she heard him correctly. She must have blacked out and just imagined them words fall out of his mouth. The penny slowly dropped in her mind, the words he'd spoken all coming together for her to gather he was, in so many words, saying he had that same unexplained need for her as she had for him. He watched her face and he could see the cogs working in her mind, analyzing and picking apart his speech. He smiled sweetly at her bemused expression and nudged her knee with his trying to pull her focus back onto him. Emily blinked and licked the corner of her mouth.
"Well." She started in a low and cautious voice. "I guess, you can stay a bit longer if you want to." She blinked again and watched a proud smirk cover his lips as Jared stood in front of her and planted himself next to her so closely that there was no space in between them at all. Her eyes never left his face as he put his feet up on the coffee table, wrapped his arm around the back of the couch behind Emily's neck and flicked on another small TV that was in front of the coach they both were situated on. Jared couldn't help feel like he was now the one under a microscope as Emily stared at him as if he was a mythical creature and he knew full well she was seeing him in a completely different light now.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The house was too quiet. It was the first thing Jared noticed. He couldn't hear any faint music playing and he couldn't hear any voices chattering away. It was completely silent. It wasn't that late either, not late enough for people to have left and gone home so there had to be someone indoors. He traced through room after room looking for any signs of life when he picked up the sound of a news reader. He followed the voice like a police dog and was lead to find a cozy Shannon with his legs under the crocheted patchwork blanket and a pillow beneath his head. Jared coughed slightly so Shannon knew he was there and when he saw him a mischievous grin spread across the eldest brother's face.
"Why are you smirking?" Jared asked as he climbed over the back of the couch sitting to his brother's right. Shannon laughed obnoxiously.
"Why do you think I'm smirking squirt?" That nickname always bothered Jared. Even when he was twelve it bothered him and almost thirty years later it still ticked him off.
"I don't know, hence why I asked." Jared replied bluntly.
"I'm smirking at the fact you stayed with our new photographer last night." Shannon peered over to him and Jared new instantly there was not really any point denying it as his brother had all ready worked everything out, he still attempted to fool him none the less.
"I didn't stay-"
"Wow!" Shannon laughed out loud once again cutting Jared's blatant lie of. "You definitely did stay with her, there is no point denying it squirt. You one hundred percent stayed with this Emily girl last night." Shannon picked up the remote and turned over the channel.
"What makes you so sure? I could have been anywhere?"
"Right, you could of gone absolutely anywhere straight after this chick who's nudes you have saved to your computer called you last night." Jared then gathered that Shannon believed that he met up with Emily last night for sex and he contemplated correcting him. But Jared didn't want Shannon or anyone in the team to know the real situation with Emily. Not until he'd done what he planned to do and steal her away from it. "Emma was pissed dude." Shannon announced as he flicked through the channels.
"I know! I don't know what her problem is. She's never had an opinion like that on any woman I've let stay over before."
"You don't know that." Shannon dropped the remote, settling on South Park. "She's turned her nose up at every girl that's ever been through your bedroom. She just never did it in front of you like she did last night." Shannon's concentration was on the cartoon in front of him while Jared studied his face and his words.
"What are you getting at?" Jared trod carefully.
"All I'm saying squirt is," Shannon looked to his little brother. "Emma cares about you, a lot. I'm not going to get into it because it's something you need to speak to her about, but just consider her more." Jared's eyebrows furrowed as he quickly read into what Shannon had said.
"Are you saying that like, Emma has feelings for me or something? I don't understand." Jared shifted, sitting cross legged and crossing his arms across his chest.
"No." Shannon chuckled once more and shook his head back and forth. "She doesn't have feelings for you. But like, she thinks of herself as more than an assistant to you.-"
"I think of her as more than an assistant. In a lot of ways she's pretty much my best friend." Jared interrupted.
"Exactly." Shannon exclaimed. "So treat her like a best friend. Don't keep her in the dark about certain things."
Jared was annoyed that Emma had obviously confided in Shannon about some problem she was having with him. A problem he wasn't conscious was even a problem in the first place. He was also annoyed that he was getting some lecture about treating Emma like more than an assistant when he thought he always had. He begun to doubt himself. Trying to recall times when he might of said something or did something that made her feel like she was below him. Shannon could see his brother thinking the conversation over and as the look of confusion didn't ease up on his face Shannon thought he'd clear the fog for him.
"Look, J." Jared snapped his head up towards him. "Emma doesn't like it when you brings girls back here. She see's this place as like, the workplace and she gets annoyed when you fuck girls here. I don't care, and neither does anyone else, we know this is also your hoe as well as where we all work. But it's a problem Emma's had for a while and she feels like you're disrespecting the team when you fuck girls and she has to watch them scurry out in the morning." Jared blinked, letting it all sink in. Shannon picked up the remote once more, flicking through the channels once again. "You didn't hear that from me though. And you should talk to her about it, it really bothers her."
"Yeah. I will do bro, thanks." Jared licked his lips, made a mental reminder to have a conversation with Emma and swiveled his position to face the TV joining his eldest brother and best friend in watching a re run of Mad Men.