Emily was awoken by the sun in her eyes. She slowly peeled them open into a squint as the fluorescent yellow rays of light blinded her and she rubbed the back of her hand against her eyes like a baby to shut the light out once again. She pointed her toes under the thick, fluffy duvet and stretched her legs out to capacity and rolled her body over to face away from the wide open window. As Emily fidgeted her body around she was faced with someone that she had completely forgotten was beside her. Due to the sizzling morning sun and the sleep dusted in her eyes she hadn't registered that the window she was facing wasn't hers.
His eyes were closed and his mouth was slightly ajar. His brown hair draped down the side of his bearded face like a blanket and Emily couldn't resist the urge to touch him. She couldn't help herself. She knew that she would never have the confidence to touch him like this when he was awake and conscious so she took her chances and advantage of his sleepy state.
First, she gently lowered her fingertips to the side of his face barely touching the curtain of hair that laid across it. Slowly, she lowered her fingers as they softly sank into his hair. She proceeded to combed her thin fingers through the brown and tangled strands until they skimmed the rough and course hairs of his beard. Emily was about to plunge her fingers into his burly beard when Jared stirred slightly. He licked his lips and took a deep breathe and wriggled slightly next to her. Emily froze. Terrified that he'd open his eyes and see her laying there next to him and realize that she had stayed the night with him, terrified that she'd see the regret fill his eyes when he'd wake up to her face. As stealthily as she could manage, Emily pulled her body, limb by limb, away from Jared's and as gracefully as possible, left his bed. She made the move to look for her clothing, as that was what she was used to doing after leaving a mans bed, but she was startled to find that she hadn't taken her clothes off. She couldn't recall ever being in a situation like that. Waking up the morning after from not fucking a guy. She was a little shocked that they'd both controlled themselves, a little fuzzy as she was so drunk the night before she couldn't remember if they'd maybe tried to have sex but she was also a little pleased with the fact that they hadn't had sex. Emily didn't want to fuck anything up. Especially not by complicating things and making things awkward that drunk sex can sometimes cause, especially as she was beginning to really like Jared, a lot more than she was willing to admit as now Jared was in fact her employer.
As Emily descended the stairs to his home, she held her breathe. Trying to maneuver through rooms filled with instruments and art without been heard by the sleeping Jared she'd left upstairs. As Emily turned a corner she was stopped dead in her tracks as she came across a petite figure with heavenly blue eyes and thin, straight dirty blonde hair staring back at her, a blue mug between her palms almost to her lips. The girl just stared back at Emily from behind her desk, taking in Emily's ripped pantyhose, the flannel button up that was belted in the middle to appear like a dress that was hanging of one shoulder. She couldn't help but judge and conclude that Jared's standards were dropping.
"Did you stay here last night." The figure asking bluntly. He icy eyes freezing Emily's soul to the core. She couldn't form the words to answer, so she simply nodded. "Did you sleep with him?" Still Emily couldn't find the words to answer the petite girl so she just shook her head no. This was when the petite girls eyebrows raised. The evident shock was stricken across her face and Emily couldn't help but fidget in her spot, shifting from her left foot to her right. Physically feeling the small girl's judgement. She suddenly stood and approached Emily and even though she was shorter than her, Emily couldn't help but feel like the shortest girl in the room.
"So you slept here the night, in his bed. And you didn't have sex with him?"
"I didn't have sex with him." Emily found her voice growing a little annoyed that this tiny girl was trying to intimidate her. The petite woman just stared back. Squinting her eyes and dragging them over every freckle, every blemish and every wrinkle on Emily's face, judging her completely. Emily squinted back her, knowing exactly what the blonde was doing and she didn't appreciate it at all. She didn't need to be judged by another person who was evidently better of than her, Emily was pissed off at being looked at like dirt. She scoffed and push passed the woman in front of her, knocking her shoulder into hers and setting her stumbling backwards. Emily didn't care if she appeared rude, in fact she was glad if the blonde got offended. She wasn't in his house to be judged by another woman, she was there because he had wanted her there and she wasn't going to let some tiny woman who she could flick away with a swipe of her hand make her feel awkward.
* * * * * * * * * * *
When Jared awoke he was expecting to see a bundle of curls next to him, but when all he found was the cool white of an empty pillow he felt his heart sink lower than it should of. He sat up and rested his elbows against his knees and placed his tired face into his hands, letting out an exasperated sigh. Confusion building up in his mind as to why she felt the need to skip out on him and let him down again. It bothered him that he was so disappointed that she was gone when he awoke, he was trying his hardiest not to get attached to her, not to care about whether she was there of not, but there was something there, something about Emily that just made him latch on. He scolded himself for being such a fool. He never got attached to any women he'd met before, never cared if all the models and actresses he'd slept with were there in the morning, if anything he would be pleased to see them gone. But not Emily. He wanted her to stay.
As he laid back down, snuggling himself up under his duvet he could still smell her next to him as he peered over to where her body used to be. He found a long black hair standing out against the white of the pillow. The only evidence that she was there at all. He stared at it for a while, contemplating whether or not to brush it away or keep it there. But gave up when he realized that brushing a hair away won't do the same for the way he was feeling. So he rolled onto his belly and buried his face in the pillow ignoring the empty space beside him completely.
* * * * * * * * * * *
"Em, baby. You can't be serious!" Benny was on the phone. He was talking loudly in his overzealous Italian accent that she was sure he over exaggerated at times. He was trying to get her to some party. Tempting her with free drugs and free alcohol. Normally, Emily would jump at the chance, not even needing to be tempted to go. But something in her just didn't want to go. She would much rather stay at home, maybe go out and take some photographs as she was now a hired photographer. That feeling was very foreign to her, not wanting to go out and get ruined and it left her wondering if Jared was the reason she couldn't be bothered with that whole scene anymore.
"Emily, I haven't seen you in days. What have you been up to?!" Benny's voice was quieter and she could hear that he'd stepped out of the party to speak to her as the heavy bass of the music had subsided.
"I've been working Benny." She replied with a grin, quite proud of herself.
"Working?! Working like, a job? When did this happen?!"
"The other day. I meet a guy who was looking for a photographer to work for him, he liked my work, and now someone is my boss." She laughed slightly, the whole idea of her being employed seeming quite unrealistic.
"Well fuck me and call me Fernado! You know what this means right?!"
"The opportunity to get my life out the toilet." Emily stated as though promising this to herself.
"No." Benny replied with a scoff, almost like the possibility of Emily getting somewhere in life was untouchable. "It means a pay check. Which means more money to party." Emily knitted her eyebrows together as a dull pain passed through her forehead, she felt as though she was banging her head against a brick wall. "Do you realize what standards you could be buying when someone's putting money into the bank?! Oh Em! We're gonna be living in fucking luxury!" Benny started laughing and Emily was getting annoyed at Benny's belief that she'd fund his habit as well as her own, if she even funded hers at all. The thing with Benny was that he enjoyed being a fuck up, where as Emily didn't. She did that to herself because she was running away from a feeling whereas Benny was doing it because he simply had nothing better to do. "Look Emily. Come down to this party. It's not some crazy junkie party okay, it's like thirty people all just raving out, getting wasted and dabbing some MD. Don't be a loser, get down here."
"Benny, I can't. I just-"
"Well you don't have a choice." Benny interrupted sounding completely over her protests. "I all ready sent someone to get you. There's a car outside your apartment right now." Just then there was a bang on her door making the breathe jump out of her lungs. She put the phone to her ear to scold Benny for doing this to her, but all she heard was his cackle of a laugh before the line went dead.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Laying on the couch under a huge crocheted blanket his grandma made him a handful of Christmases ago with his knees pulled up to his chest and his head resting on his arm Jared felt rather pathetic. He felt like a child who'd had his favorite toy confiscated and was sulking about it until it returned. He was still reeling about Emily's leaving that morning, feeling defeated and useless that she obviously didn't want to spend the morning with him like he did with her. Shannon, Tomo and Jamie were sat around the U shaped couch near him and he could feel Shannon's prying eyes burn into his face without even looking in his direction.
"You okay J?" Shannon asked throwing a piece of popcorn at Jared from the bowl he kept in his lap, trying to grab his attention. Jared just ignored him. Didn't move at all. He continued to stare absentmindedly at the floor, not acknowledging anyone.
"Jared?" Jamie asked somewhat cautiously, in fear Jared would just blow up and storm out the room, he had a tendency to do that. He could be quite dramatic when he wanted to be. Jared only replied by grabbing the edge of the cozy patchwork blanket and pulling it over his head, closing himself off completely. He closed his eyes and listened to their muffled voices as they all continued to chat among themselves, agreeing that whatever was going on with Jared should just be left alone. He heard the click of high heels on the floorboards and gathered Emma had entered the room.
"Who's under the blanket?" She asked.
"Jared." Shannon replied simply and Jared just knew that Shannon was giving Emma the eyes telling her to not ask as to why he'd slumped himself away from them. But Emma being Emma, she brought it up anyway.
"Is he still upset about that girl leaving this morning?" That caught Jared's attention. His eyes shot open and his ears pricked upwards like a fox, now listening intently to the conversation Emma had started.
"What girl?" Tomo asked dumbfounded.
"That girl, you know the one who's a photographer, Jared showed us some of her pictures the other day. I don't know her name but she looked like she'd been dragged through a bush backwards. She was a mess." Emma replied as she perched on the arm of the coach. Her statement caught Jared's attention and fired up his temper. He threw the blanket of his body in a flurry and sat bolt up right, glaring at his assistant.
"You saw Emily this morning?" Jared asked, his eyes squinted and his brow furrowed.
"Yeah. I caught her leaving this morning." Emma replied glancing at the TV and taking a sip of whatever was in her blue mug. She didn't even look at Jared as she answered him, clearly not picking up on his aggravation.
"And why didn't you fucking stop her?" Jared swung his legs of the edge of the couch and rested his elbows on his knees. Emma looked at him now, realizing it was a bigger deal than she'd thought.
"Since when do you ever want a girl to stay in the morning? Especially one you didn't sleep with?" Emma countered. The three other men watching this exchange all looked at each other with blank faces as they were all just learning that Jared's new employee had stayed the night.
"What has that got to do with you Emma? You don't know what's going on between Emily and I. You can't just assume that I want her gone. She does work for me now." Jared's voice was raising.
"Well like you said, I don't know what's going on so don't expect me to just know you want her to stay when I catch her making the dash! And anyway, she shouldn't of even been in the position to be sneaking out the morning after if she is your employee now, what's that got to say about her?" Emma's voice raised too. Jared considered Emma his best friend, so for them to argue wasn't exactly an odd occurrence. He saw her as a sister, and he argued with her more than his own real sibling. But he could see the hostility behind Emma's eyes for Emily and he didn't understand why she was getting so defensive.
"Emma for fuck sake!" Jared threw his hands in the air and threw his body back against the back of the couch, rubbing his hands against his bearded cheeks. "I can't believe you let her leave."
"How was I to know you wanted this chick to stay Jared?! I don't even know why you care anyway she looked like trash! Where did you find her? In a dumpster down some junkie alley way. Do you really want her associated with you and the team?! She is a complete fucking train wreck!"
Jared just stared at her. In disbelief that Emma was being so harsh. It was out of character for her and even Shannon, Tomo and Jamie's faces were white with shock at Emma's cruel words. Jared sat forward once more and stared Emma down. He was beyond arguing with her now, he as genuinely hurt. And really fucking angry she'd spoken about Emily like that.
"What did you just say?" Jared asked his voice cold and evil.
Emma didn't reply, just stared back at Jared as she slowly slunk into herself, realizing that she'd gone too far and gotten too personal. She didn't know why she'd gotten so protective of Jared. She never cared before, but there was something about Emily that she just didn't trust. She didn't like the look of her and Emma couldn't yet put her finger on what was off about Emily, but she knew something wasn't right. The sound of a phone ringing suddenly broke the tension in the room and as it vibrated against the coffee table sat among the group, everyone's attention focused on the illuminate screen.
"Speaking of Emily." Jamie said.
Jared peered down and could see that it was his phone ringing on the table with the name Emily Photographer written across the top. He stood from his seat, snatched his phone from the table and stormed out of the room not even giving anyone a glance over his shoulder or the story of how Emily as in his home that morning. He just left the room and answered her call. Before he even had time to say hello she was talking.
"Jared?" Instantly he could hear it. The fear in her voice. She sounded like a little girl who'd gotten lost somewhere. He could hear her crying through her voice and the music and loud voices in the background didn't make him relax much either.
"What's wrong? Are you okay?" Jared's animal instinct kicked instantaneously, that lion like streak of protection flaring up.
"I'm fucked up." She whimpered. "I need help." His heart was aching for her, hating that she sounded so scared. "I want to go home." He heard her sob on the other end of the line and he didn't need to hear anything else as he was out the door as quick as his feet would allow.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Emily was so embarrassed. She was so disappointing in herself for giving in to Benny. She knew what was going to happen to her, she knew she'd go to the house party and not be able to deny free drugs, however she didn't expect to be in this much trouble. She sat herself down on the concrete steps that lead up to the house the party was being held in and drew her knees up to her chest and tucked her balled up fists under her chin, she lowered her head and closed her eyes, taking deep breaths to calm her frenzied heart rate. She didn't know what she'd taken, but it was not MDMA. She knew as soon as she swallowed the crystals that some filthy looking guy offered up to her that something was off. Her hearing instantly faded and people's voices became muffled as though she was underwater, the feel of people touching her skin was rough and heavy as if they were intently trying to bruise her and people's faces were tracing. She waved her hand in front of her face and as she watched the trail of it follow behind her small hand and she felt the knot of despair tighten in her stomach. She tried to ask the guy what it was, but her hearing was so fucked she didn't hear his answer. And that's when the panic took her. When it came to drugs, Emily knew what she was doing. She'd taken a variety over the years and she knew exactly how to deal with certain effects, how to control the effects and what to do in case the effects were ever too intense. But these effects, she'd never even heard of let alone experienced. She was trying her hardest to keep herself calm and to ride it out, as that what you do when you've taken to much. You remain calm, tell yourself that you're in control of whatever you're feeling, and you ride it out. Eventually it will go, the effects will leave you. But whatever was happening to her was scaring her to the point where she couldn't help but let the tears of terror fall out the corners of her eyes as she was terrified that this was it. She was going to die. She was going to be just another junkie girl, found limp on the curb. So in that mad panic, she called Jared. Simply because she didn't have anyone else in her contacts to call that would help her.
As Emily breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth in big, full breaths she remembered what Benny had said. He said there was only about thirty people at the party. That was a lie. There at least a hundred drugged up lowlifes there, at least. He said there was just a few people dabbing MD. That was a lie. Emily passed a girl with a needle in her arm shooting up some brown mixture into her veins as she left in a daze to escape outside for some air. She ignored where she was and who she was around, feeling the dirt physically on her skin from the location she'd gone to out of peer pressure. She was so ashamed of herself for going there. And so ashamed that Jared was going to see this and associate it with her. Emily was certain that when he'd see the filth she spent her free time in, she'd lose her new job title as well as him as a friend. And that just made her feel so much shittier about her situation.
She was feeling so many things; she was ashamed of where she'd gone too, she was embarrassed to be seen here by the one person who was important to her, she was scared to death that she'd taken fucking crack or something and was going to just collapse there and then and not get back up and a part of her was hopeless, that evil voice in her head telling her that she was worthless and she was just as much good as that vile girl with the infected needle in her vein. Emily quickly opened her legs and put her head between them, feeling as if sick was about to pour out of her system. She wanted to be sick, get the fluids out of system even though she knew it was too late, the drugs all ready in her blood stream, but she couldn't. She gagged hoping for something to come out, but nothing did.
Ad she rose her head from between her knees, she noticed her hearing had come back slightly, she could make out the bass of the music playing and she could feel it more as it vibrated through her body. She stretched her hands wide, fingers splayed in the cold night air as she noticed she'd had the balled up so tight they'd lost all feeling. As she flexed every muscle in her hands she heard voices grow louder from behind her. She didn't turn to look, not caring enough as to see was happening, but she didn't have to look. Two guys walked down the steps beside her until they reached the bottom. Emily noticed that there was a stick thin, blonde girl wearing barely anything hanging of both their shoulders. From the dirty pink leopard print dress the girl was wearing Emily recognized her as the girl with the needle in her arm from inside. She watched as the two men put the woman on the concrete sidewalk and she watched as her body became limp and lifeless. People started to pour out of the house, gathering around the woman then running back inside, shouting for someone to call an ambulance. People were shouting at the woman and slapping her face trying to get her eyes to stop from rolling back into her skull.
Emily felt the need to be sick again as she realized what she was seeing. She wasn't stupid, she knew that the woman was dying. Obviously overdosing on whatever she shot up and suddenly all the strange effects she was feeling moments before had gone. Scared out of her blood stream with the scene playing out in front of her. Emily felt the water build up in her eyes and everything became blurry as she blinked the tears away. She wiped them away with the back of her hands and pulled her gaze away from the woman as her small frame started to convulse on the sidewalk. Emily glanced away, looking straight ahead and it was if her prayers had been answered.
Stood in a black hoodie with the hood thrown over his head and a pair of old sweatpants, Jared was stood at the end of the stairs in front of Emily. His eyes on the woman only feet away from them. His face was pale and his eyes were wide and Emily felt terrible that it was her fault he was witnessing such a sight. She sobbed loudly as the guilt rattled through her lungs and Jared's head snapped towards her.
Jared had never seen anyone look so broken. She looked so small and terrified and he felt the tremor of a sob ripple through his own body as he felt her sadness. He knew then, looking at her tear covered face and her small body hunched up on the steps that this wasn't Emily. These people that she'd associated herself with and spent her time around, these lost and hopeless people, she was not one of them and he knew right then and there that he would never let Emily become one of them. He was going to save her. He had to save her.
Jared beckoned her over to him without a word. Just waved his hand calling him to her. Emily didn't need another instruction. She stood up and all but ran down the stairs towards him. His arms were open as she approached and she fell into his embrace, her face buried in his neck as the cry she'd been swallowing before finally came out. Jared locked his arms around her firmly, holding her against his body as if she would disintegrate. He let her cry as he gently lifted her feet of the ground removing her from the steps completely and placing her down on the sidewalk in front of him. With his arms still around her body and not a second glance to the scene playing out beside them, he ushered her away from the horrifying scene until they reached his car. He leant her body back against the passenger door. He removed his arms from around her and gingerly placed them on her face, pulling her head out of his neck. Her eyes were wet and red and her nose was running and she could hardly catch her breathe. Jared's heart cracked slightly at the sight of her and he was annoyed at himself that he wasn't there sooner to protect her, keep her safe from the danger of them weird men with weird drugs.
Jared pulled the sleeve of his hoodie over his hand and wiped her cheeks clean of tears, he pinched her nose, cleaning that also and she breathed a thankful giggle as he cleaned her face. She gazed up at him with big brown watery eyes that looked like crystals under the moonlight and Jared swallowed the lump in his throat. He placed his lips against her forehead and gave her a gentle kiss as she snaked her arms around his waist.
"You're okay." Jared whispered, his lips still against her forehead. "I'm here, you're okay."